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If ya don't like the music, Just turn it
off
V  The Almost Daily Funnies
"Friends are God's way of taking care of
us." These
are clean jokes. However, They are PG - Not intended for younger
readers - PG
Welcome New
Subscribers Anyone without a sense
of humor is at the mercy of the rest of us.
Heaven Help
Them
WEDNESDAY JUNE 8,2005
 THOUGHT FOR TODAY: "Be kinder than necessary, for everyone
you meet is fighting some kind of battle."
Minnesota ghost
This happened about a month ago just outside of
Willmar, a little town in the back country of Minnesota, and while it sounds
like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's real.
This out-of-state traveler
was on the side of the road, hitchhiking on a real dark night in the middle
of a thunderstorm. Time passed slowly and no cars went by. It was raining so
hard he could hardly see his hand in front of his face. Suddenly he saw a car
moving slowly, approaching and appearing ghostlike in the rain. It slowly and
silently crept toward him and stopped.
Wanting a ride real bad the guy
jumped in the car and closed the door; only then did he realize that there
was nobody behind the wheel, and no sound of an engine to be heard over the
rain.
Again the car crept slowly forward and the guy was terrified, too
scared to think of jumping out and running. The guy saw that the car
was approaching a sharp curve and, still too scared to jump out, he
started to pray and began begging for his life; he was sure the ghost car
would go off the road and into a nearby lake and he would drown!
But
just before the curve, a shadowy figure appeared at the driver's window and a
hand reached in and turned the steering wheel, guiding the car safely around
the bend. Then, just as silently, the hand disappeared through the window and
the hitchhiker was alone again!
Paralyzed with fear, the guy watched the
hand reappear every time they reached a curve. Finally the guy, scared to
near death, had all he could take and jumped out of the car and ran and ran,
into town, into Willmar.
Wet and in shock, he went into a bar and voice
quavering, ordered two shots of whiskey, then told everybody about his
supernatural experience. A silence enveloped and everybody got goose bumps
when they realized the guy was telling the truth (and was not just some
drunk).
About half an hour later two guys walked into the bar and one
says to the other, "Look Ole, ders dat idiot that rode in our car when we
wuz pushin it in the rain." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Rules for Teacher Public School Grattan, Dale County, Texas, circa
1880
Code of Conduct for Schoolmasters:
1. Teachers will
each day fill lamps, clean chimneys.
2. Each teacher will bring a
bucket of water and scuttle of coal for the day's
session.
3. Make all your pens carefully. You may whittle
nibs to individual tastes of the
pupils.
4. Men teachers my take one evening each week for courting
purposes, or two evenings a week if they go to
church regularly.
5. Each teacher should lay aside from each pay a
goodly sum of his earnings for his benefit during his
declining years so he will not be a public burden on
society.
6. Each teacher who smokes, uses liquor in any form,
frequents pool or public halls, or gets shaved in a
barbershop will give good reason to suspect his worth,
intention, integrity and honesty.
7. The teacher who performs his
labor faithfully and without fault for five years
will be given an increase of twenty-five cents per
week in his pay, providing the Board of Education
approves.
Code of Conduct for Schoolmistresses.
1. Women
teachers who marry or engage in unseemly conduct will
be dismissed.
2. You are not to keep
company with men.
3. You must be home between the hours of 8 p.m.
and 6 a.m., unless attending a school
function.
4. You may not travel beyond the city limits unless you
have permission from the Chairman of the Board of
Education.
5. You may not ride in a carriage or other conveyance
with any man unless he is your father or
brother.
6. You may not smoke cigarettes.
7. You may
not dress in bright colors.
8. You may under no circumstances dye
your hair.
9. You must wear at least two
petticoats.
10. Your dresses must be not shorter than an inch below
the ankle.
11. To keep the schoolhouse neat and clean, you must: sweep
the floor at least once daily; scrub the floor at
least once a week with hot, soapy water; clean the
blackboards at least once a day; and start the fire
at 7 a.m. in inclement weather so the classroom will
be warm by 8
a.m. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ YOU MIGHT BE A PUBLIC
SCHOOL TEACHER IF...
1. You want to slug the next person who says, "Must
be nice to work 8 to 3:20 and have summers free."
2. You believe
"unbelievably annoying" should have its own box in the report card.
3.
You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says "Boy, the
kids sure are mellow today."
4. When out in public you feel the urge to
snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their
behavior.
5. You reflect that marking all A's on report cards
would make your life SO much easier.
6. You think people should be
required to spend two years teaching middle school before being allowed to
reproduce.
7. You wonder how some parents ever MANAGED to
reproduce.
8. You encourage an obnoxious parent to check into home
schooling.
9. You think caffeine should be available in intravenous
form.
10. Meeting a child's parent instantly answers the question, "Why
is this kid like this?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Advice From an Old
Farmer
Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and
bull-strong.
Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a
distance.
Life is simpler when you plough around the stump.
A
bumblebee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.
Meanness
don't just happen overnight.
Forgive your enemies. It messes up their
heads.
Do not corner something that you know is meaner than
you.
It doesn't take a very big person to carry a grudge.
You
cannot unsay a cruel word.
Every path has a few puddles.
When you
wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
The best sermons are lived, not
preached.
Most of the stuff people worry about is never going to happen
anyway.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Live a
good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it
a second time.
Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain
dance.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop
digging.
The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with
watches you from the mirror every morning.
Always drink upstream from
the herd.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes
from bad judgment.
Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot
easier than putting it back in.
If you get to thinking you're a person
of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around.
Live
simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to
God. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Blonde enters a store that sell curtains. She
tells the salesman, "I would like to buy a pair of pink curtains.
The
salesperson assured her that they had a large selection of pink curtains. He
showed her several patterns, but the blond seemed to be having a hard time
choosing.
Finally she selects a lovely pink floral print.
The
salesman asked what size curtains she needed.
The blond replies "fifteen
inches."
"Fifteen inches???" asked the salesman. "That sounds very small,
what room are they for?"
The blond tells him that they aren't for a
room, they are for her computer monitor.
The surprised salesman
replies, "But, Miss, computers do not need curtains!"
The blond says,
"Hellllooooooooo........I've got
Windows!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
****
Quickies ****
Q. Why do all blondes have a dimple on their
chin and a flat forehead? A. Finger on chin-'I don't know'. Then hits
forehead-'Oh, I get it!' ~ Q. If a blonde and a brunette are tossed
off a building, who hits the ground first? A. The brunette. The
blonde has to stop and ask for
directions. ~
**** HERE'S YOUR SIGN - STUPID **** An
Indiana couple faces neglect charges for allowing their young
son to balloon to 138 pounds, more than 100 pounds more than the
average 4-year-old should weigh. Cory Andis weighed a normal 8
pounds, 14 ounces at birth. He was 111 pounds at age 3, when he
appeared on a nationally broadcast television show in 1998, and
reached 134 pounds before his fourth birthday. County welfare
officials and prosecutors stepped in when the boy continued to
gain weight, placing Cory in foster care and barring his parents
from having contact with him. Cory, now 5, has lost more than 50
pounds by dieting since entering foster care. Better late
than never, I guess HERE'S YOUR SIGN
- STUPID ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ MANITOBA, Canada - Only in Canada would someone ask their
friend to shoot him, not once but twice, to test a bullet
proof vest. The man from Swan River, Manitoba put on the vest
and asked his friend to shoot him in the chest with a .22-
caliber rifle while a third man videoed the experiment. Then,
he asked him to shoot him again, this time with a 12-gauge
shotgun in the back. He put a telephone book under the vest
due to the gun's greater firepower, but still suffered cracked
ribs and bruises. The men face a firearm prohibition hearing
in January to consider whether they should be allowed to
handle guns. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~` TURTLE LAKE, Wisconsin - Most people may beat themselves
verbally after losing all of their money in a gambling casino.
However, John Robert Broos took it to the extreme when he
roughed himself up in the parking lot, then called police to
report that he was robbed. The 57-year-old Minnesota man had
the bumps and bruises to prove the alleged attack, however,
didn't have the proper vision to see that he was being video-
taped the whole time. Broos was arrested and now faces
charges of misdemeanor obstruction. Now the real kick in the
head is that in addition to the money he lost at the casino,
Broos may have to pay $10,000 in fines and could serve up to
nine months in jail.
**** WEIRD
HAPPENINS **** Family's Travel Plans Sunk Upon
Receiving Porno Brochure A family got more than they bargained for
when they found pages from a hardcore porn magazine inside a
holiday travel brochure. According to Paul Richies, sales and
marketing director for Cosmos Travel, "The family sent a letter
to our customer services department together with the
brochure demanding an explanation. It was easy to see why they
were shocked, it was very hard stuff." Cosmos has apologized
and claims that only one copy of its summer 2001 book was
sabo- taged at the
printworks. ~~~~~~~~~~~ &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& You can join The Funnies IT'S
FREE To subscribe, Click on link below 25438-subscribe@zinester.com &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
**** Visiting Doc Taz M.D. D.V.M. ****
 Yeah, Doc likes 'em
too
**** Cool
Links **** Janie M0ser w/Lost In Your Eyes http://www.janiemoser.com/LostInYourEyes.htm
UFOS at close sight: UFOs and astronauts, NASA http://ufologie.net/htm/astronauts.htm
TenGuideLinesFromGod http://iam.homewithgod.com/nspirn1/GuideLines.html
**** HEADS UP FOLKS
**** These Are My Causes Please
Help It
takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a mammogram"
for free (pink window in the middle). This doesn't cost you a thing. Their
corporate sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate
mammogram in exchange for advertising. Here's the
web site! Pass it along to people you know. http://www.thebreastcancersite.com & The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble
getting enough people to click on it daily to meet their quota of
getting free food donated every day to abused and neglected animals. It
takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "feed an
animal in need" for free! This doesn't cost you a thing! Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate food to
abandoned/neglected animals in exchange for advertising. Here's
the web site! Pass it along to people you
know! http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Thoughts or Comments jokes or stories U
Send'em and I'll print'em Just keep it clean.A lota kids read
this jim4615@earthlink.net Subject
Line--- The Funnies/HEY LOOK ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ **** MOTOR SPORTS NEWS ****
|
Leffler gets new crew chief |
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Notes: Mike Ford to oversee No. 11 Chevy; Bristol
founder dies. |
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**** BILL'S COUNTRY CALANDER ****
Adolf Hofner, guitarist/vocalist/bandleader, born
Moulton, TX 1916.
Monte Hale, Singing Cowboy/actor, born San Angelo, TX
1921.
Clyde Beavers, singer/disc jockey born Teenega, GA
1932.
Mack Vickery, singer/songwriter, born Town Creek, AL
1938.
The Coon Creek Girls gave a command performance at
the White House for King George VI and Queen Elizabeth of England
1939.
Vernon Oxford, singer/songwriter/musician, born
Rogers, AR 1941.
Tony Rice, guitarist, born Danville, VA
1951.
Eddy Arnold released "The Tennessee Stud,"
1959.
Stonewall Jackson's #1 single "Waterloo," charted
1959.
Johnny Cash's #1 single "Ring Of Fire," charted
1963.
Lester Flatt Day was declared in the State Of
Tennessee in 1963.
Alton Delmore, age 55, of the Delmore Brothers, died
Huntsville, AL 1964. Inducted Nashville Songwriters Hall of Fame
1971.
Wynn Stewart topped the charts with "It's Such A
Pretty World Today" 1967.
Dolly Parton's "I Will Always Love You," went to #1
in 1974.
Mickey Gilley's "Window Up Above" was #1 in
1975.
Waylon Jennings' "Lucille" topped the charts
1983.
Roba Stanley, age 76, nicknamed "The First Country
Sweetheart," died in Gainesville, FL 1986. Roba was the first female
country music recording artist (Okeh Records)
1924-1926.)
Anne Murray and husband Bill Langstroth, legally
separated, after 23 years of marriage in
1998.
Tommy Perkins, age 69, drummer for Bob Wills, died in
an automobile accident in 2003.
Bill Lowery, music publisher, past president of the Country Music
Foundation, died 2004.
Provided by Bill Morrison at www.rockabillyhall.com/billmorrison.html
**** COUNTRY
MUSIC NEWS **** Worley Invites Milsap, O'Neal to
Charity Event
Darryl Worley's fourth annual Tennessee River
Run will feature performances by Ronnie Milsap, Jamie O'Neal,
Hot Apple Pie and the Stevens Sisters. Hosted by Worley,
the event takes place Sept. 16-17 at Pickwick Landing
State Park in Hardin County, Tenn., near Worley's hometown
of Savannah. Other activities include a golf
tournament, fishing tournament, 5K run, silent auction and an
arts and craft fair. Last year's event raised more
than $100,000 for various projects, including the
establish- ment of for an outpatient chemotherapy clinic at
Hardin Medical Center. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Underwood,
O'Neal and Anderson Added to Duets Concert
American Idol
winner Carrie Underwood, Jamie O'Neal and newcomer Keith
Anderson have been added to the cast of a concert to be part of
a six-hour special, CMT 100 Greatest Duets. Wednesday's (June 8)
concert taping at the Gaylord Entertainment Center marks her
first arena performance as well as her live debut in Nashville.
Trace Adkins and Terri Clark are co-hosts of the event that will
include performances by Dolly Parton, Kenny Rogers, Clint
Black, Lisa Hartman Black, Montgomery Gentry, Lee Ann
Womack, Shooter Jennings, Joe Nichols, Blake Shelton,
Miranda Lambert, Marty Stuart, Travis Tritt, Rebecca Lynn
Howard, Crystal Gayle and Raul Malo. The concert will showcase
the Top 12 songs in the countdown documentary. CMT 100
Greatest Duets premieres Sept. 17. Tickets to the concert are
avail- able at all Ticketmaster outlets and online at
CMT.com. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ One day A man
decides to go hiing in Yellowstone National Park, he makes 4 mistakes that
you should never make while hiking in a National Park like
Yellowstone.
First he goes hiking alone. Never hike in the back-country alone. Always go
with at least one other person or a group of people, that way there's
somebody to talk to and who can run for help if there is an emergency.
Second, beforehe left on his hike he slapped on his after-shave. Never wear
after-shave or perfume when hiking in the back-country, it's been known to
attract the wild animals the bears and such. So there he is hiking alone and
reaking of after-shave. His third mistake was that as he hiked he was being
vey quiet, he didn't want to disturb the little animals, chipmunks and
rabbits. Always make noise when hiking in a Natonal Park, it lets the bigger
animals know your there and they don't want to meet you anymor then you want
to meet them.
Talk to you friends, sing songs or wear a bear bell. So
there he is hiking alone, raking of aftershave and being very quiet. He
rounds a bend in the trail an comes face toface with a huge Grizzly Bear
that didn't hear him coming, but smelled him. Here he makes his fourth
and final mistake by turning arond on the trail and running away. By
doing this he shows the bear that he's afraid and possible prey so the
bear starts chasing him. Everybody knows that a Grizzly Bear can run as
fast as a race horse for short distances so his chances of out running
him are about zero to none. So our hiker is running and running and the
bear is chasing close behind. Finally the man is totally exhausted and
can't go another step. He drops to his knees in the middle of the trail
puts his hands together and he starts praying. He prays for his mother,
his father, his LIFE! Pretty soon he hears a growling noise next to him,
he looks over and there's the bear, it's down on it's knees, it has
it;s paws put together and it's praying also. He looks at the bear and
the bear looks at him and the bear says, "I don't know about you, but
I'm saying grace." ****
TODAY'S MUSIC ARTIST ****
June 7, 2005: Johnny and Donnie Van Zant, of Van Zant canceled
any appearances during this week's 2005 CMA Music Festival because of recurring
cases of severe strep throat that Johnny has been battling for the past month,
according to their label, Columbia Nashville. He is under doctor's orders to
adhere to strict vocal rest for 10 days. The duo's debut album, "Get Right
with the Man" was released on May 10th and entered the Billboard Country Album
chart in the number 2 spot. The album, which includes the single "Help
Somebody," veers heavily towards the Southern rock sound for which the brothers
are known.
* * * * * * *
June 7, 2005: Kristian Bush, member of the singer/songwriter
trio Sugarland, welcomed his very own baby girl into the world at 7:35 a.m.
today. Camille Grace Bush is the new addition to the family, which also
includes big brother Tucker, age 3, and mother Jill, who delivered a healthy 9lb
2oz daughter. Sugarland has enjoyed a hit single with "Baby Girl."
* * * * * * *
June 6, 2005: Kenny Chesney got a little help from a friend when
he did the first of his three stadium dates this summer as Van Halen front man
Sammy Hagar hit the stage for three songs. Hagar played "Rock Candy," "Where
Eagles Fly" and "Finish What You Started" with Chesney, who drew 45, 761 fans to
the almost two hour show. "You have no idea until you're waist-deep into it
what it takes to put one of these on," says Chesney of the five-day preparations
for FedEx Field. "And you also can't imagine what it feels like when that scrim
drops, the curtain falls away - and there's that sea of people, who're cheering
and the light bulbs are flashing. It's just this surge of energy and excitement.
It's like plugging straight into 40,000 volts. Like I always seem to be saying:
we throw it at 'em pretty hard every night, and every night, they throw it back
at us even harder." The Somewhere In The Sun Stadium Sized tour continues
July 23 at Gillette Stadium outside Boston and July 30 at Heinz Field in
Pittsburgh, where Chesney's ABC special will be filmed. Chesney appears on
"Tonight Show with Jay Leno" June 23.
* * * * * * *
June 3, 2005: Garth Brooks has split with Capitol
Records. According to a press release from the label, "Capitol Nashville and
Garth Brooks have decided by mutual agreement to terminate the current license
agreement under which Capitol had the exclusive license to Garth Brooks'
recordings." "Terms are confidential, however, no compensation was requested
by Mr. Brooks or paid by EMI for the license termination." "For nearly two
decades, Capitol Nashville has had an extraordinary and fruitful relationship
with Garth. We wish him all the best for the future," said Mike Dungan,
President and CEO, Capitol Nashville. Brooks spent his entire recording
career with Capitol. Brooks has been in retirement for several years. He became
engaged to singer Trisha Yearwood last week.
* * * * * * *
June 2, 2005: Toby Keith remains atop the Billboard country
album charts for the second week running with "Honkytonk University." On the
singles chart for the week ending June 11, Keith Urban also stayed number 1 with
"Making Memories of Us." Rascal Flatts moved up quickly though to second, up
three, with "Fast Cars and Freedom." Dierks Bentley stayed third with "Lot of
Leavin' Left to Do." Trace Adkins was down two to fourth with "Songs About Me,"
and George Strait was up three to fifth with "You'll Be There." Among the
biggest movers were Keith with "As Good As I Once Was," up 4 to 12th, and Faith
Hill's Mississippi Girl," up 5 to 13th. Keith Anderson broke into the top 20
at 17, up 4, with "Pickin' Wildflowers." Brad Paisley's new single "Alcohol,"
was up 4 to 20th. On the album chart, Rascal Flatts was up one to second with
"Feels Like Today." Urban was also up one spot to third with "Be Here."
Sugarland's "Twice the Speed of Life" moved up two spots to fourth. Cowboy Troy
dropped three to fifth with "Loco Motive." Big & Rich moved up five
places to eighth with "Horse of a Different Color." On the overall top 200
album chart, Keith was 5th, down 3, Rascal Flatts 12th, up 7; Urban 28th, down
1; Sugarland 34th, up 1; and Cowboy Troy 44th, down 29.
* * * * * * *
May 27, 2005: Toby Keith's been wearing the Dorfman Pacific
Scala western hats for years. Now, he's entered into an agreement with the copy
to manufacture his own line of hats. "For a lot of Americans, a hat makes a
statement and I guess I am no different," said Keith, who just released
"Honkytonk University" May 17. "I enjoy wearing one ,and I am happy that what I
wear is now available to fans, people who might identify with me and my music,
or anyone else who just feels like it." The Toby Keith Collection will
include popularly priced western hats and six baseball caps under the Dorfman
Pacific brands, Scala and DPC, with retail prices ranging from $15 to $50, and a
handful of more traditional and upscale western hats under the Milano brand in
the $60 to $150 range. Both men's and women's collections will be shipped to
western retails stores and department stores beginning mid-November.
* * * * * * *
May 26, 2005: Kenny Chesney will have his first TV special this
fall. ABC will broadcast "Kenny Chesney: Somewhere in the Sun" at 8 p.m.,
Nov. 23, an hour-long show of concert footage and his life in the
Carribean. "The folks at ABC bring such great big picture thinking to this,"
said Chesney in a statement. "They're looking at a way to bring my fans into our
world - even more than they already have been, and they understand the role
music plays in that relationship. It's a strange balance, really, the idea of
the music coming from such a private place then it becoming something that's big
enough to rock a stadium." "We rarely do music specials centered around a
single artist because so few have the necessary broad appeal," said Andrea Wong,
executive vice president, alternative programming, specials and late night for
ABC. "But Kenny is so enormously popular he can sell millions of records, sell
out stadiums across the country and bring in a large television audience. We're
thrilled he's part of the ABC family." The special will be anchored by
Chesney's sold-out show at Pittsburgh's Heinz Stadium. ABC also will go to
the Caribbean island where Chesney takes time off from music. Some of Chesney's
fellow country stars and close friends will appear, although no guests were
named.
GARTH STATUE ALMOST
BLOWS HIS COVER
Before
Garth Brooks popped the question to his longtime love Trisha Yearwood last week
at the "Legends In Bronze" ceremony, eagle-eyed GAC host of Country Music Across
America, Storme Warren, noticed Garth's statue was wearing a wedding ring. When
Storme asked Garth about it, he feigned surprise. But after the proposal, Garth
told Storme in an exclusive interview, "You busted me, pal." Garth explained
that when he decided he'd propose to Trisha at the ceremony--held at Buck Owens'
Crystal Palace--he wanted to make sure his likeness was 100% accurate, since the
sculptor told him it would last 2,000 years. "And it hit me," said Garth. "One
thing else that will stand in my life forever is my love for that woman." When
Storme asked about wedding plans, Garth replied, "I'm just glad she said yes!"
GAC will air the interview in its entirety June 2 on Country Music Across
America at 9 p.m. Eastern. Published on:
06/03/2005
**** TODAY'S
SPECIAL ****
El Pollo Loco chicken
In Restaurants El Pollo Loco chicken is
marinated in big, plastic buckets, with employees periodically rotating the
meat by hand to distribute the marinade evenly. The chicken then is cooked
fully on the grills in open kitchens, where the quality of the final product
depends largely on the expertise of the grill cook. El Pollo Loco
Marinade (M, TNT) Source: Orange County Register Serves: 6 6 ounces
pineapple juice 2 tablespoons lime juice 1 tablespoon white vinegar 2
cloves garlic, minced 1/2 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon dried oregano,
crumbled 1/8 teaspoon ground pepper 1/4 teaspoon mild chili pepper
(Anaheim or California), remove stem and seeds from chiles, finely
minced 8 drops yellow food coloring, optional (but accurate) 1 tablespoon
vegetable oil 4 pounds frying chicken, cut up In a small bowl, combine
all ingredients except chicken, measure out 1/4 cup marinade and reserve for
basting while grilling. Place chicken in a shallow glass baking dish and
cover with marinade. Cover with lid or plastic wrap and refrigerate
overnight, turning at least once. Refrigerate reserved marinade. Remove
chicken from refrigerator 45 minutes before cooking time. Drain chicken and
grill over medium coals for 25 to 35 minutes or until no traces of p ink
color remain, turning every 10 minutes. Baste frequently with the reserved
1/4 cup marinade while cooking.
"PUMPKIN LOG"
1/2 tsp. cinnamon 2/3 c. pumpkin 1 tsp. baking
soda 1/2 c. crushed walnuts 3 eggs 1 c. sugar 3/4 c.
flour
Grease well the sides and bottom of a 10"x15" cookie sheet.
Line with wax paper and grease well again. Mix together all ingredients except
nuts. Spread on prepared cookie sheet, sprinkle nuts on top and bake at 375
degrees for 15 minutes. Remove from oven and immediately turn upside down on a
cotton towel that has been sprinkled with about 1/3 cup powdered sugar.
Carefully remove wax paper, roll lengthwise and cool. FILLING 2 tbsp.
soft margarine 1 c. powdered sugar 3/4 tsp. vanilla 1 (8 oz.) pkg.
cream cheese, softened
Mix with electric mixer until creamy. Unroll
cooled cake, spread with filling, roll up again and wrap in foil. Store in
refrigerator.
June 7, 2005: Johnny and Donnie Van Zant, of Van Zant canceled
any appearances during this week's 2005 CMA Music Festival because of recurring
cases of severe strep throat that Johnny has been battling for the past month,
according to their label, Columbia Nashville. He is under doctor's orders to
adhere to strict vocal rest for 10 days. The duo's debut album, "Get Right
with the Man" was released on May 10th and entered the Billboard Country Album
chart in the number 2 spot. The album, which includes the single "Help
Somebody," veers heavily towards the Southern rock sound for which the brothers
are known.
* * * * * * *
June 7, 2005: Kristian Bush, member of the singer/songwriter
trio Sugarland, welcomed his very own baby girl into the world at 7:35 a.m.
today. Camille Grace Bush is the new addition to the family, which also
includes big brother Tucker, age 3, and mother Jill, who delivered a healthy 9lb
2oz daughter. Sugarland has enjoyed a hit single with "Baby Girl."
* * * * * * *
June 6, 2005: Kenny Chesney got a little help from a friend when
he did the first of his three stadium dates this summer as Van Halen front man
Sammy Hagar hit the stage for three songs. Hagar played "Rock Candy," "Where
Eagles Fly" and "Finish What You Started" with Chesney, who drew 45, 761 fans to
the almost two hour show. "You have no idea until you're waist-deep into it
what it takes to put one of these on," says Chesney of the five-day preparations
for FedEx Field. "And you also can't imagine what it feels like when that scrim
drops, the curtain falls away - and there's that sea of people, who're cheering
and the light bulbs are flashing. It's just this surge of energy and excitement.
It's like plugging straight into 40,000 volts. Like I always seem to be saying:
we throw it at 'em pretty hard every night, and every night, they throw it back
at us even harder." The Somewhere In The Sun Stadium Sized tour continues
July 23 at Gillette Stadium outside Boston and July 30 at Heinz Field in
Pittsburgh, where Chesney's ABC special will be filmed. Chesney appears on
"Tonight Show with Jay Leno" June 23.
* * * * * * *
June 3, 2005: Garth Brooks has split with Capitol
Records. According to a press release from the label, "Capitol Nashville and
Garth Brooks have decided by mutual agreement to terminate the current license
agreement under which Capitol had the exclusive license to Garth Brooks'
recordings." "Terms are confidential, however, no compensation was requested
by Mr. Brooks or paid by EMI for the license termination." "For nearly two
decades, Capitol Nashville has had an extraordinary and fruitful relationship
with Garth. We wish him all the best for the future," said Mike Dungan,
President and CEO, Capitol Nashville. Brooks spent his entire recording
career with Capitol. Brooks has been in retirement for several years. He became
engaged to singer Trisha Yearwood last week.
* * * * * * *
June 2, 2005: Toby Keith remains atop the Billboard country
album charts for the second week running with "Honkytonk University." On the
singles chart for the week ending June 11, Keith Urban also stayed number 1 with
"Making Memories of Us." Rascal Flatts moved up quickly though to second, up
three, with "Fast Cars and Freedom." Dierks Bentley stayed third with "Lot of
Leavin' Left to Do." Trace Adkins was down two to fourth with "Songs About Me,"
and George Strait was up three to fifth with "You'll Be There." Among the
biggest movers were Keith with "As Good As I Once Was," up 4 to 12th, and Faith
Hill's Mississippi Girl," up 5 to 13th. Keith Anderson broke into the top 20
at 17, up 4, with "Pickin' Wildflowers." Brad Paisley's new single "Alcohol,"
was up 4 to 20th. On the album chart, Rascal Flatts was up one to second with
"Feels Like Today." Urban was also up one spot to third with "Be Here."
Sugarland's "Twice the Speed of Life" moved up two spots to fourth. Cowboy Troy
dropped three to fifth with "Loco Motive." Big & Rich moved up five
places to eighth with "Horse of a Different Color." On the overall top 200
album chart, Keith was 5th, down 3, Rascal Flatts 12th, up 7; Urban 28th, down
1; Sugarland 34th, up 1; and Cowboy Troy 44th, down 29.
* * * * * * *
May 27, 2005: Toby Keith's been wearing the Dorfman Pacific
Scala western hats for years. Now, he's entered into an agreement with the copy
to manufacture his own line of hats. "For a lot of Americans, a hat makes a
statement and I guess I am no different," said Keith, who just released
"Honkytonk University" May 17. "I enjoy wearing one ,and I am happy that what I
wear is now available to fans, people who might identify with me and my music,
or anyone else who just feels like it." The Toby Keith Collection will
include popularly priced western hats and six baseball caps under the Dorfman
Pacific brands, Scala and DPC, with retail prices ranging from $15 to $50, and a
handful of more traditional and upscale western hats under the Milano brand in
the $60 to $150 range. Both men's and women's collections will be shipped to
western retails stores and department stores beginning mid-November.
* * * * * * *
May 26, 2005: Kenny Chesney will have his first TV special this
fall. ABC will broadcast "Kenny Chesney: Somewhere in the Sun" at 8 p.m.,
Nov. 23, an hour-long show of concert footage and his life in the
Carribean. "The folks at ABC bring such great big picture thinking to this,"
said Chesney in a statement. "They're looking at a way to bring my fans into our
world - even more than they already have been, and they understand the role
music plays in that relationship. It's a strange balance, really, the idea of
the music coming from such a private place then it becoming something that's big
enough to rock a stadium." "We rarely do music specials centered around a
single artist because so few have the necessary broad appeal," said Andrea Wong,
executive vice president, alternative programming, specials and late night for
ABC. "But Kenny is so enormously popular he can sell millions of records, sell
out stadiums across the country and bring in a large television audience. We're
thrilled he's part of the ABC family." The special will be anchored by
Chesney's sold-out show at Pittsburgh's Heinz Stadium. ABC also will go to
the Caribbean island where Chesney takes time off from music. Some of Chesney's
fellow country stars and close friends will appear, although no guests were
named.  "Barbeque and Grilling Tips"
Barbeque Cooking Methods Direct Cooking is also
known as grilling. This is the most popular cooking method and involves cooking
food directly over the flame, such as searing a steak. Other good candidates for
this cooking method are thin cuts of meat, vegetables, kabobs and fillets.
Indirect Cooking means the food is cooked away from
the direct flame by placing it on the opposite side of the lit burner and
allowing the heat to tumble within the closed confines of the closed barbeque,
very similar to a convection oven. Much like your oven, you can roast and even
bake, provided your barbeque lid is closed.
Rotisserie Cooking is one of the fastest growing
barbeque cooking techniques, especially if your barbeque is equipped with a rear
rotisserie burner. Rotisserie cooking allows the food to self-baste while
turning on the motorized spit, sealing in the juices while browning the outside
surface. Rotisserie-cooked food is an excellent cooking option for large cuts of
meat such as roasts, leg of lamb or poultry.
Barbeque and Propane Grill Safety Tips Never store a
propane cylinder or tank under or near your barbeque, in your home, cottage,
garage or vehicle. Store the tank upright and outdoors in the shade and away
from any combustible materials. Keep kids and pets away from the barbeque,
even after you've shut everything off. Most barbeques remain hot long after
being turned off. When shutting down your barbeque, shut off the propane
tank or natural gas main shut off valve and then shut off the burner control
valves. This sequence prevents residual gas from being left in the system under
pressure. Keep your barbeque clean and free of greasy buildup--this will
enable your barbeque to work most efficiently and can prevent greasy deposits
from catching fire, a situation you want to
avoid.

**** WABASH VALLEY
WEATHER **** Weather Summary Same pattern. Short
term we`re looking at warm days and muggy nights. Each afternoon will see a
chance of heat-induced popup thunderstorms. A few could hang around until
the sun sets. Longer term, Thursday could see a few stronger storms. We`ll
have to watch for storms getting organized along a front boundary. Those may
produce some stronger boomers. Friday into Tuesday the warm air stays in
place and so does the chance of scattered afternoon and early evening
storms. -Dan Reynolds
Weather Factoid With severe weather season
ongoing, sign up for Accu Weather Messenger and have severe weather
information deliver straight to your cell phone. Click on the icon on the
main page.
Tuesday Night Stray Storm Possible Early. Becoming Mostly
Clear. South Wind 5-10. Low 67
Wednesday Partly Cloudy. Scattered
Storms Possible. South Wind 10. High 90
Wednesday Night Isolated
Early Shower or Storms Possible. Becoming Mostly Clear. South Wind
10. Low 68
Thursday Increasing Cloudiness. Scattered Afternoon
Storms Possible. Southeast Wind 5-10. High 86
Friday Mostly
Cloudy. Scattered Storms Possible. High 89 Low 69
Saturday
Mostly Cloudy. Scattered Storms Possible. High 86 Low 67
Sunday Mostly Cloudy. Scattered Storms Possible. High 86 Low
66
Monday Decreasing Cloudiness. Scattered Storms Possible. High
89 Low 69
Tuesday Partly Cloudy. Scattered Storms
Possible. High 86 Low 67
****A PARTING THOUGHT **** In a country of free
speech, why are there phone bills?
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LAST CALL
Y'ALL
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