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Subject: The Daily Funnies - June08, 2005



If ya don't like the music, Just turn it off 
V

From Carlisle ,Indiana
Welcome to
  

The Almost Daily Funnies
"Friends are God's way of taking care of us."
These  are clean jokes. However,
They are
PG - Not intended for  younger readers - PG

Welcome New Subscribers
Anyone without a sense of humor is at the mercy
of the rest of us.
Heaven Help Them

WEDNESDAY JUNE 8,2005

THOUGHT FOR TODAY:
"Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet
is fighting some kind of battle."


Minnesota ghost

This happened about a month ago just outside of Willmar, a little town
in the back country of Minnesota, and while it sounds like an Alfred
Hitchcock tale, it's real.

This out-of-state traveler was on the side of the road, hitchhiking on a
real dark night in the middle of a thunderstorm. Time passed slowly and
no cars went by. It was raining so hard he could hardly see his hand in
front of his face. Suddenly he saw a car moving slowly, approaching and
appearing ghostlike in the rain. It slowly and silently crept toward him
and stopped.

Wanting a ride real bad the guy jumped in the car and closed the door;
only then did he realize that there was nobody behind the wheel, and no
sound of an engine to be heard over the rain.

Again the car crept slowly forward and the guy was terrified, too scared
to think of jumping out and running. The guy saw that the car was
approaching a sharp curve and, still too scared to jump out, he started
to pray and began begging for his life; he was sure the ghost car would
go off the road and into a nearby lake and he would drown!

But just before the curve, a shadowy figure appeared at the driver's
window and a hand reached in and turned the steering wheel, guiding the
car safely around the bend. Then, just as silently, the hand disappeared
through the window and the hitchhiker was alone again!

Paralyzed with fear, the guy watched the hand reappear every time they
reached a curve. Finally the guy, scared to near death, had all he could
take and jumped out of the car and ran and ran, into town, into Willmar.

Wet and in shock, he went into a bar and voice quavering, ordered two
shots of whiskey, then told everybody about his supernatural experience.
A silence enveloped and everybody got goose bumps when they realized the
guy was telling the truth (and was not just some drunk).

About half an hour later two guys walked into the bar and one says to
the other, "Look Ole, ders dat idiot that rode in our car when we wuz
pushin it in the rain."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rules for Teacher Public School Grattan,
Dale County,
Texas, circa 1880

Code of Conduct for Schoolmasters:

1.  Teachers will each day fill lamps, clean chimneys.

2.  Each teacher will bring a bucket of water and scuttle of coal for
the
    day's session.

3.  Make all your pens carefully.  You may whittle nibs to individual
     tastes of the pupils.

4.  Men teachers my take one evening each week for courting purposes,
     or two evenings a week if they go to church regularly.

5.  Each teacher should lay aside from each pay a goodly sum of his
    earnings for his benefit during his declining years so he will not
be a
    public burden on society.

6.  Each teacher who smokes, uses liquor in any form, frequents pool or
    public halls, or gets shaved in a barbershop will give good reason
to
    suspect his worth, intention, integrity and honesty.

7.  The teacher who performs his labor faithfully and without fault for
     five years will be given an increase of twenty-five cents per week
     in his pay, providing the Board of Education approves.

Code of Conduct for Schoolmistresses.

1.  Women teachers who marry or engage in unseemly conduct will be
     dismissed.

2.  You are not to keep company with men.

3.  You must be home between the hours of 8 p.m. and 6 a.m., unless
     attending a school function.

4.  You may not travel beyond the city limits unless you have
     permission from the Chairman of the Board of Education.

5.  You may not ride in a carriage or other conveyance with any man
     unless he is your father or brother.

6.  You may not smoke cigarettes.

7.  You may not dress in bright colors.

8.  You may under no circumstances dye your hair.

9.  You must wear at least two petticoats.

10.  Your dresses must be not shorter than an inch below the ankle.

11. To keep the schoolhouse neat and clean, you must: sweep the floor
     at least once daily; scrub the floor at least once a week with hot,
     soapy water; clean the blackboards at least once a day; and start
     the fire at 7 a.m. in inclement weather so the classroom will be
     warm by 8 a.m.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

YOU MIGHT BE A PUBLIC SCHOOL TEACHER IF...

1. You want to slug the next person who says, "Must be
nice to work 8 to 3:20 and have summers free."

2. You believe "unbelievably annoying" should have its
own box in the report card.

3. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if
anyone says "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today."

4. When out in public you feel the urge to snap your fingers
at children you do not know and correct their behavior.

5. You reflect that marking all A's on report cards would
make your life SO much easier.

6. You think people should be required to spend two years teaching
middle school before being allowed to reproduce.

7. You wonder how some parents ever MANAGED to reproduce.

8. You encourage an obnoxious parent to check into home schooling.

9. You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.

10. Meeting a child's parent instantly answers the question, "Why is
this kid like this?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Advice From an Old Farmer

Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance.

Life is simpler when you plough around the stump.

A bumblebee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

Meanness don't just happen overnight.

Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

It doesn't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

You cannot unsay a cruel word.

Every path has a few puddles.

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

The best sermons are lived, not preached.

Most of the stuff people worry about is never going to happen anyway.

Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back,
you'll enjoy it a second time.

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging.

The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with watches
you from the mirror every morning.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad
judgment.

Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it
back in.

If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering
somebody else's dog around.

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest
to God.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Blonde enters a store that sell curtains. She tells the salesman, "I
would like to buy a pair of pink curtains.

The salesperson assured her that they had a large selection of pink
curtains. He showed her several patterns, but the blond seemed to be
having a hard time choosing.

Finally she selects a lovely pink floral print.

The salesman asked what size curtains she needed.

The blond replies "fifteen inches."

"Fifteen inches???" asked the salesman. "That sounds very small, what
room are they for?"

The blond tells him that they aren't for a room, they are for her
computer monitor.

The surprised salesman replies, "But, Miss, computers do not need
curtains!"

The blond says, "Hellllooooooooo........I've got Windows!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**** Quickies ****

Q.  Why do all blondes have a dimple on their chin and a flat forehead?
A.  Finger on chin-'I don't know'. Then hits forehead-'Oh, I get it!'
~
Q.  If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the
ground first?
A.  The brunette. The blonde has to stop and ask for directions.

~

**** HERE'S YOUR SIGN - STUPID ****
An Indiana couple faces neglect charges for allowing their  
young son to balloon to 138 pounds, more than 100 pounds  
more than the average 4-year-old should weigh. Cory Andis  
weighed a normal 8 pounds, 14 ounces at birth. He was 111  
pounds at age 3, when he appeared on a nationally broadcast  
television show in 1998, and reached 134 pounds before his  
fourth birthday. County welfare officials and prosecutors  
stepped in when the boy continued to gain weight, placing  
Cory in foster care and barring his parents from having  
contact with him. Cory, now 5, has lost more than 50 pounds  
by dieting since entering foster care.
Better late than never, I guess
HERE'S YOUR SIGN - STUPID
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   

MANITOBA, Canada - Only in Canada would someone ask their  
friend to shoot him, not once but twice, to test a bullet  
proof vest. The man from Swan River, Manitoba put on the vest  
and asked his friend to shoot him in the chest with a .22-  
caliber rifle while a third man videoed the experiment. Then,  
he asked him to shoot him again, this time with a 12-gauge  
shotgun in the back. He put a telephone book under the vest  
due to the gun's greater firepower, but still suffered cracked  
ribs and bruises. The men face a firearm prohibition hearing  
in January to consider whether they should be allowed to  
handle guns.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

TURTLE LAKE, Wisconsin - Most people may beat themselves  
verbally after losing all of their money in a gambling casino.  
However, John Robert Broos took it to the extreme when he  
roughed himself up in the parking lot, then called police to  
report that he was robbed. The 57-year-old Minnesota man had  
the bumps and bruises to prove the alleged attack, however,  
didn't have the proper vision to see that he was being video-  
taped the whole time. Broos was arrested and now faces  
charges of misdemeanor obstruction. Now the real kick in the  
head is that in addition to the money he lost at the casino,  
Broos may have to pay $10,000 in fines and could serve up to  
nine months in jail.  




**** WEIRD HAPPENINS ****
Family's Travel Plans Sunk Upon Receiving Porno Brochure
 
A family got more than they bargained for when they found  
pages from a hardcore porn magazine inside a holiday travel  
brochure. According to Paul Richies, sales and marketing  
director for Cosmos Travel, "The family sent a letter to our  
customer services department together with the brochure  
demanding an explanation. It was easy to see why they were  
shocked, it was very hard stuff." Cosmos has apologized and  
claims that only one copy of its summer 2001 book was sabo-  
taged at the printworks.
~~~~~~~~~~~

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&& 
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**** Visiting Doc Taz M.D.  D.V.M. ****

Yeah, Doc likes 'em too


**** Cool Links ****
Janie M0ser w/Lost In Your Eyes
http://www.janiemoser.com/LostInYourEyes.htm

UFOS at close sight: UFOs and astronauts, NASA
http://ufologie.net/htm/astronauts.htm

TenGuideLinesFromGod
http://iam.homewithgod.com/nspirn1/GuideLines.html

**** HEADS UP FOLKS ****
These Are My Causes Please Help
It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a mammogram"
for free (pink window in the middle). This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammogram
in exchange for advertising.
 
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know.
 
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com
&
The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to  click on it daily to meet their quota
of getting free food donated  every day to abused and neglected animals. It takes less than a  minute to go
to their site and click on "feed an animal in need"  for free! This doesn't cost you a thing! Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate food to abandoned/neglected animals in exchange
for advertising. 
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know!

 http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thoughts or Comments
jokes or stories
U Send'em and I'll print'em
Just keep it clean.A lota kids read this
jim4615@earthlink.net
Subject Line--- The Funnies/HEY LOOK
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 **** MOTOR SPORTS NEWS ****

Leffler gets new crew chief
Notes: Mike Ford to oversee No. 11 Chevy; Bristol founder dies.

**** BILL'S COUNTRY CALANDER ****

 Adolf Hofner, guitarist/vocalist/bandleader, born Moulton, TX 1916.

 

Monte Hale, Singing Cowboy/actor, born San Angelo, TX 1921.

 

Clyde Beavers, singer/disc jockey born Teenega, GA 1932.

 

Mack Vickery, singer/songwriter, born Town Creek, AL 1938.

 

The Coon Creek Girls gave a command performance at the White House
for King George VI and Queen Elizabeth of England 1939.

 

Vernon Oxford, singer/songwriter/musician, born Rogers, AR 1941.

 

Tony Rice, guitarist, born Danville, VA 1951.

 

Eddy Arnold released "The Tennessee Stud," 1959.

 

Stonewall Jackson's #1 single "Waterloo," charted 1959.

 

Johnny Cash's #1 single "Ring Of Fire," charted 1963.

 

Lester Flatt Day was declared in the State Of Tennessee in 1963.

 

Alton Delmore, age 55, of the Delmore Brothers, died Huntsville, AL 1964.
Inducted Nashville Songwriters Hall of Fame 1971.

 

Wynn Stewart topped the charts with "It's Such A Pretty World Today" 1967.

 

Dolly Parton's "I Will Always Love You," went to #1 in 1974.

 

Mickey Gilley's "Window Up Above" was #1 in 1975.

 

Waylon Jennings' "Lucille" topped the charts 1983.

 

Roba Stanley, age 76, nicknamed "The First Country Sweetheart," died in Gainesville, FL 1986. Roba was the first female country music recording artist (Okeh Records) 1924-1926.)

 

Anne Murray and husband Bill Langstroth, legally separated, after 23 years of marriage in 1998.

 

Tommy Perkins, age 69, drummer for Bob Wills, died in an automobile accident in 2003.

 

Bill Lowery, music publisher, past president of the Country Music Foundation, died 2004.

Provided by Bill Morrison at www.rockabillyhall.com/billmorrison.html

 **** COUNTRY MUSIC NEWS ****
 Worley Invites Milsap, O'Neal to Charity Event  

Darryl Worley's fourth annual Tennessee River Run will  
feature performances by Ronnie Milsap, Jamie O'Neal, Hot  
Apple Pie and the Stevens Sisters. Hosted by Worley, the  
event takes place Sept. 16-17 at Pickwick Landing State  
Park in Hardin County, Tenn., near Worley's hometown of  
Savannah. Other activities include a golf tournament,  
fishing tournament, 5K run, silent auction and an arts  
and craft fair. Last year's event raised more than  
$100,000 for various projects, including the establish-  
ment of for an outpatient chemotherapy clinic at Hardin  
Medical Center.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Underwood, O'Neal and Anderson Added to Duets Concert  

American Idol winner Carrie Underwood, Jamie O'Neal and  
newcomer Keith Anderson have been added to the cast of a  
concert to be part of a six-hour special, CMT 100 Greatest  
Duets. Wednesday's (June 8) concert taping at the Gaylord  
Entertainment Center marks her first arena performance as  
well as her live debut in Nashville. Trace Adkins and  
Terri Clark are co-hosts of the event that will include  
performances by Dolly Parton, Kenny Rogers, Clint Black,  
Lisa Hartman Black, Montgomery Gentry, Lee Ann Womack,  
Shooter Jennings, Joe Nichols, Blake Shelton, Miranda  
Lambert, Marty Stuart, Travis Tritt, Rebecca Lynn Howard,  
Crystal Gayle and Raul Malo. The concert will showcase the  
Top 12 songs in the countdown documentary. CMT 100 Greatest  
Duets premieres Sept. 17. Tickets to the concert are avail-  
able at all Ticketmaster outlets and online at CMT.com.   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day
A man decides to go hiing in Yellowstone National Park, he makes 4
mistakes that you should never make while hiking in a National Park like

Yellowstone. First he goes hiking alone. Never hike in the back-country
alone. Always go with at least one other person or a group of people,
that way there's somebody to talk to and who can run for help if there
is an emergency. Second, beforehe left on his hike he slapped on his
after-shave. Never wear after-shave or perfume when hiking in the
back-country, it's been known to attract the wild animals the bears and
such. So there he is hiking alone and reaking of after-shave. His third
mistake was that as he hiked he was being vey quiet, he didn't want to
disturb the little animals, chipmunks and rabbits. Always make noise
when hiking in a Natonal Park, it lets the bigger animals know your
there and they don't want to meet you anymor then you want to meet them.

Talk to you friends, sing songs or wear a bear bell. So there he is
hiking alone, raking of aftershave and being very quiet. He rounds a
bend in the trail an comes face toface with a huge Grizzly Bear that
didn't hear him coming, but smelled him. Here he makes his fourth and
final mistake by turning arond on the trail and running away. By doing
this he shows the bear that he's afraid and possible prey so the bear
starts chasing him. Everybody knows that a Grizzly Bear can run as fast
as a race horse for short distances so his chances of out running him
are about zero to none. So our hiker is running and running and the bear
is chasing close behind. Finally the man is totally exhausted and can't
go another step. He drops to his knees in the middle of the trail puts
his hands together and he starts praying. He prays for his mother, his
father, his LIFE! Pretty soon he hears a growling noise next to him, he
looks over and there's the bear, it's down on it's knees, it has it;s
paws put together and it's praying also. He looks at the bear and the
bear looks at him and the bear says, "I don't know about you, but I'm
saying grace."
  
 **** TODAY'S MUSIC ARTIST ****
 

June 7, 2005: Johnny and Donnie Van Zant, of Van Zant canceled any appearances during this week's 2005 CMA Music Festival because of recurring cases of severe strep throat that Johnny has been battling for the past month, according to their label, Columbia Nashville. He is under doctor's orders to adhere to strict vocal rest for 10 days.
The duo's debut album, "Get Right with the Man" was released on May 10th and entered the Billboard Country Album chart in the number 2 spot. The album, which includes the single "Help Somebody," veers heavily towards the Southern rock sound for which the brothers are known.

* * * * * * *

June 7, 2005: Kristian Bush, member of the singer/songwriter trio Sugarland, welcomed his very own baby girl into the world at 7:35 a.m. today.
Camille Grace Bush is the new addition to the family, which also includes big brother Tucker, age 3, and mother Jill, who delivered a healthy 9lb 2oz daughter.
Sugarland has enjoyed a hit single with "Baby Girl."

* * * * * * *

June 6, 2005: Kenny Chesney got a little help from a friend when he did the first of his three stadium dates this summer as Van Halen front man Sammy Hagar hit the stage for three songs.
Hagar played "Rock Candy," "Where Eagles Fly" and "Finish What You Started" with Chesney, who drew 45, 761 fans to the almost two hour show.
"You have no idea until you're waist-deep into it what it takes to put one of these on," says Chesney of the five-day preparations for FedEx Field. "And you also can't imagine what it feels like when that scrim drops, the curtain falls away - and there's that sea of people, who're cheering and the light bulbs are flashing. It's just this surge of energy and excitement. It's like plugging straight into 40,000 volts. Like I always seem to be saying: we throw it at 'em pretty hard every night, and every night, they throw it back at us even harder."
The Somewhere In The Sun Stadium Sized tour continues July 23 at Gillette Stadium outside Boston and July 30 at Heinz Field in Pittsburgh, where Chesney's ABC special will be filmed. Chesney appears on "Tonight Show with Jay Leno" June 23.

* * * * * * *

June 3, 2005: Garth Brooks has split with Capitol Records.
According to a press release from the label, "Capitol Nashville and Garth Brooks have decided by mutual agreement to terminate the current license agreement under which Capitol had the exclusive license to Garth Brooks' recordings."
"Terms are confidential, however, no compensation was requested by Mr. Brooks or paid by EMI for the license termination."
"For nearly two decades, Capitol Nashville has had an extraordinary and fruitful relationship with Garth. We wish him all the best for the future," said Mike Dungan, President and CEO, Capitol Nashville.
Brooks spent his entire recording career with Capitol. Brooks has been in retirement for several years. He became engaged to singer Trisha Yearwood last week.

* * * * * * *

June 2, 2005: Toby Keith remains atop the Billboard country album charts for the second week running with "Honkytonk University."
On the singles chart for the week ending June 11, Keith Urban also stayed number 1 with "Making Memories of Us." Rascal Flatts moved up quickly though to second, up three, with "Fast Cars and Freedom." Dierks Bentley stayed third with "Lot of Leavin' Left to Do." Trace Adkins was down two to fourth with "Songs About Me," and George Strait was up three to fifth with "You'll Be There."
Among the biggest movers were Keith with "As Good As I Once Was," up 4 to 12th, and Faith Hill's Mississippi Girl," up 5 to 13th.
Keith Anderson broke into the top 20 at 17, up 4, with "Pickin' Wildflowers."
Brad Paisley's new single "Alcohol," was up 4 to 20th.
On the album chart, Rascal Flatts was up one to second with "Feels Like Today." Urban was also up one spot to third with "Be Here." Sugarland's "Twice the Speed of Life" moved up two spots to fourth. Cowboy Troy dropped three to fifth with "Loco Motive."
Big & Rich moved up five places to eighth with "Horse of a Different Color."
On the overall top 200 album chart, Keith was 5th, down 3, Rascal Flatts 12th, up 7; Urban 28th, down 1; Sugarland 34th, up 1; and Cowboy Troy 44th, down 29.

* * * * * * *

May 27, 2005: Toby Keith's been wearing the Dorfman Pacific Scala western hats for years. Now, he's entered into an agreement with the copy to manufacture his own line of hats.
"For a lot of Americans, a hat makes a statement and I guess I am no different," said Keith, who just released "Honkytonk University" May 17. "I enjoy wearing one ,and I am happy that what I wear is now available to fans, people who might identify with me and my music, or anyone else who just feels like it."
The Toby Keith Collection will include popularly priced western hats and six baseball caps under the Dorfman Pacific brands, Scala and DPC, with retail prices ranging from $15 to $50, and a handful of more traditional and upscale western hats under the Milano brand in the $60 to $150 range. Both men's and women's collections will be shipped to western retails stores and department stores beginning mid-November.

* * * * * * *

May 26, 2005: Kenny Chesney will have his first TV special this fall.
ABC will broadcast "Kenny Chesney: Somewhere in the Sun" at 8 p.m., Nov. 23, an hour-long show of concert footage and his life in the Carribean.
"The folks at ABC bring such great big picture thinking to this," said Chesney in a statement. "They're looking at a way to bring my fans into our world - even more than they already have been, and they understand the role music plays in that relationship. It's a strange balance, really, the idea of the music coming from such a private place then it becoming something that's big enough to rock a stadium."
"We rarely do music specials centered around a single artist because so few have the necessary broad appeal," said Andrea Wong, executive vice president, alternative programming, specials and late night for ABC. "But Kenny is so enormously popular he can sell millions of records, sell out stadiums across the country and bring in a large television audience. We're thrilled he's part of the ABC family."
The special will be anchored by Chesney's sold-out show at Pittsburgh's Heinz Stadium.
ABC also will go to the Caribbean island where Chesney takes time off from music. Some of Chesney's fellow country stars and close friends will appear, although no guests were named.


GARTH STATUE ALMOST BLOWS HIS COVER

Before Garth Brooks popped the question to his longtime love Trisha Yearwood last week at the "Legends In Bronze" ceremony, eagle-eyed GAC host of Country Music Across America, Storme Warren, noticed Garth's statue was wearing a wedding ring. When Storme asked Garth about it, he feigned surprise. But after the proposal, Garth told Storme in an exclusive interview, "You busted me, pal." Garth explained that when he decided he'd propose to Trisha at the ceremony--held at Buck Owens' Crystal Palace--he wanted to make sure his likeness was 100% accurate, since the sculptor told him it would last 2,000 years. "And it hit me," said Garth. "One thing else that will stand in my life forever is my love for that woman." When Storme asked about wedding plans, Garth replied, "I'm just glad she said yes!" GAC will air the interview in its entirety June 2 on Country Music Across America at 9 p.m. Eastern.
Published on: 06/03/2005


       **** TODAY'S SPECIAL ****        

El Pollo Loco chicken


In Restaurants El Pollo Loco chicken is marinated in big, plastic
buckets, with employees periodically rotating the meat by hand to distribute
the marinade evenly. The chicken then is cooked fully on the grills in open
kitchens, where the quality of the final product depends largely on the
expertise of the grill cook.
El Pollo Loco Marinade (M, TNT)
Source: Orange County Register
Serves: 6
6 ounces pineapple juice
2 tablespoons lime juice
1 tablespoon white vinegar
2 cloves garlic, minced
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon dried oregano, crumbled
1/8 teaspoon ground pepper
1/4 teaspoon mild chili pepper (Anaheim or California), remove stem and
seeds from chiles, finely minced
8 drops yellow food coloring, optional (but accurate)
1 tablespoon vegetable oil
4 pounds frying chicken, cut up
In a small bowl, combine all ingredients except chicken, measure out 1/4 cup
marinade and reserve for basting while grilling.
Place chicken in a shallow glass baking dish and cover with marinade. Cover
with lid or plastic wrap and refrigerate overnight, turning at least once.
Refrigerate reserved marinade.
Remove chicken from refrigerator 45 minutes before cooking time. Drain
chicken and grill over medium coals for 25 to 35 minutes or until no traces of p
ink color remain, turning every 10 minutes. Baste frequently with the reserved
1/4 cup marinade while cooking
.


"PUMPKIN LOG"
 
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
2/3 c. pumpkin
1 tsp. baking soda
1/2 c. crushed walnuts
3 eggs
1 c. sugar
3/4 c. flour
 
Grease well the sides and bottom of a 10"x15" cookie sheet. Line with wax paper and grease well again. Mix together all ingredients except nuts. Spread on prepared cookie sheet, sprinkle nuts on top and bake at 375 degrees for 15 minutes. Remove from oven and immediately turn upside down on a cotton towel that has been sprinkled with about 1/3 cup powdered sugar. Carefully remove wax paper, roll lengthwise and cool.
FILLING
2 tbsp. soft margarine
1 c. powdered sugar
3/4 tsp. vanilla
1 (8 oz.) pkg. cream cheese, softened
 
Mix with electric mixer until creamy. Unroll cooled cake, spread with filling, roll up again and wrap in foil. Store in refrigerator.

 

June 7, 2005: Johnny and Donnie Van Zant, of Van Zant canceled any appearances during this week's 2005 CMA Music Festival because of recurring cases of severe strep throat that Johnny has been battling for the past month, according to their label, Columbia Nashville. He is under doctor's orders to adhere to strict vocal rest for 10 days.
The duo's debut album, "Get Right with the Man" was released on May 10th and entered the Billboard Country Album chart in the number 2 spot. The album, which includes the single "Help Somebody," veers heavily towards the Southern rock sound for which the brothers are known.

* * * * * * *

June 7, 2005: Kristian Bush, member of the singer/songwriter trio Sugarland, welcomed his very own baby girl into the world at 7:35 a.m. today.
Camille Grace Bush is the new addition to the family, which also includes big brother Tucker, age 3, and mother Jill, who delivered a healthy 9lb 2oz daughter.
Sugarland has enjoyed a hit single with "Baby Girl."

* * * * * * *

June 6, 2005: Kenny Chesney got a little help from a friend when he did the first of his three stadium dates this summer as Van Halen front man Sammy Hagar hit the stage for three songs.
Hagar played "Rock Candy," "Where Eagles Fly" and "Finish What You Started" with Chesney, who drew 45, 761 fans to the almost two hour show.
"You have no idea until you're waist-deep into it what it takes to put one of these on," says Chesney of the five-day preparations for FedEx Field. "And you also can't imagine what it feels like when that scrim drops, the curtain falls away - and there's that sea of people, who're cheering and the light bulbs are flashing. It's just this surge of energy and excitement. It's like plugging straight into 40,000 volts. Like I always seem to be saying: we throw it at 'em pretty hard every night, and every night, they throw it back at us even harder."
The Somewhere In The Sun Stadium Sized tour continues July 23 at Gillette Stadium outside Boston and July 30 at Heinz Field in Pittsburgh, where Chesney's ABC special will be filmed. Chesney appears on "Tonight Show with Jay Leno" June 23.

* * * * * * *

June 3, 2005: Garth Brooks has split with Capitol Records.
According to a press release from the label, "Capitol Nashville and Garth Brooks have decided by mutual agreement to terminate the current license agreement under which Capitol had the exclusive license to Garth Brooks' recordings."
"Terms are confidential, however, no compensation was requested by Mr. Brooks or paid by EMI for the license termination."
"For nearly two decades, Capitol Nashville has had an extraordinary and fruitful relationship with Garth. We wish him all the best for the future," said Mike Dungan, President and CEO, Capitol Nashville.
Brooks spent his entire recording career with Capitol. Brooks has been in retirement for several years. He became engaged to singer Trisha Yearwood last week.

* * * * * * *

June 2, 2005: Toby Keith remains atop the Billboard country album charts for the second week running with "Honkytonk University."
On the singles chart for the week ending June 11, Keith Urban also stayed number 1 with "Making Memories of Us." Rascal Flatts moved up quickly though to second, up three, with "Fast Cars and Freedom." Dierks Bentley stayed third with "Lot of Leavin' Left to Do." Trace Adkins was down two to fourth with "Songs About Me," and George Strait was up three to fifth with "You'll Be There."
Among the biggest movers were Keith with "As Good As I Once Was," up 4 to 12th, and Faith Hill's Mississippi Girl," up 5 to 13th.
Keith Anderson broke into the top 20 at 17, up 4, with "Pickin' Wildflowers."
Brad Paisley's new single "Alcohol," was up 4 to 20th.
On the album chart, Rascal Flatts was up one to second with "Feels Like Today." Urban was also up one spot to third with "Be Here." Sugarland's "Twice the Speed of Life" moved up two spots to fourth. Cowboy Troy dropped three to fifth with "Loco Motive."
Big & Rich moved up five places to eighth with "Horse of a Different Color."
On the overall top 200 album chart, Keith was 5th, down 3, Rascal Flatts 12th, up 7; Urban 28th, down 1; Sugarland 34th, up 1; and Cowboy Troy 44th, down 29.

* * * * * * *

May 27, 2005: Toby Keith's been wearing the Dorfman Pacific Scala western hats for years. Now, he's entered into an agreement with the copy to manufacture his own line of hats.
"For a lot of Americans, a hat makes a statement and I guess I am no different," said Keith, who just released "Honkytonk University" May 17. "I enjoy wearing one ,and I am happy that what I wear is now available to fans, people who might identify with me and my music, or anyone else who just feels like it."
The Toby Keith Collection will include popularly priced western hats and six baseball caps under the Dorfman Pacific brands, Scala and DPC, with retail prices ranging from $15 to $50, and a handful of more traditional and upscale western hats under the Milano brand in the $60 to $150 range. Both men's and women's collections will be shipped to western retails stores and department stores beginning mid-November.

* * * * * * *

May 26, 2005: Kenny Chesney will have his first TV special this fall.
ABC will broadcast "Kenny Chesney: Somewhere in the Sun" at 8 p.m., Nov. 23, an hour-long show of concert footage and his life in the Carribean.
"The folks at ABC bring such great big picture thinking to this," said Chesney in a statement. "They're looking at a way to bring my fans into our world - even more than they already have been, and they understand the role music plays in that relationship. It's a strange balance, really, the idea of the music coming from such a private place then it becoming something that's big enough to rock a stadium."
"We rarely do music specials centered around a single artist because so few have the necessary broad appeal," said Andrea Wong, executive vice president, alternative programming, specials and late night for ABC. "But Kenny is so enormously popular he can sell millions of records, sell out stadiums across the country and bring in a large television audience. We're thrilled he's part of the ABC family."
The special will be anchored by Chesney's sold-out show at Pittsburgh's Heinz Stadium.
ABC also will go to the Caribbean island where Chesney takes time off from music. Some of Chesney's fellow country stars and close friends will appear, although no guests were named.



"Barbeque and Grilling Tips"   

Barbeque Cooking Methods
Direct Cooking is also known as grilling. This is the most popular cooking method and involves cooking food directly over the flame, such as searing a steak. Other good candidates for this cooking method are thin cuts of meat, vegetables, kabobs and fillets.
 
Indirect Cooking means the food is cooked away from the direct flame by placing it on the opposite side of the lit burner and allowing the heat to tumble within the closed confines of the closed barbeque, very similar to a convection oven. Much like your oven, you can roast and even bake, provided your barbeque lid is closed.
 
Rotisserie Cooking is one of the fastest growing barbeque cooking techniques, especially if your barbeque is equipped with a rear rotisserie burner. Rotisserie cooking allows the food to self-baste while turning on the motorized spit, sealing in the juices while browning the outside surface. Rotisserie-cooked food is an excellent cooking option for large cuts of meat such as roasts, leg of lamb or poultry.
 
Barbeque and Propane Grill Safety Tips
Never store a propane cylinder or tank under or near your barbeque, in your home, cottage, garage or vehicle. Store the tank upright and outdoors in the shade and away from any combustible materials.
Keep kids and pets away from the barbeque, even after you've shut everything off. Most barbeques remain hot long after being turned off.
When shutting down your barbeque, shut off the propane tank or natural gas main shut off valve and then shut off the burner control valves. This sequence prevents residual gas from being left in the system under pressure.
Keep your barbeque clean and free of greasy buildup--this will enable your barbeque to work most efficiently and can prevent greasy deposits from catching fire, a situation you want to avoid.




**** WABASH VALLEY WEATHER ****
Weather Summary
Same pattern. Short term we`re looking at warm days and muggy nights.
Each afternoon will see a chance of heat-induced popup thunderstorms. A
few could hang around until the sun sets. Longer term, Thursday could
see a few stronger storms. We`ll have to watch for storms getting
organized along a front boundary. Those may produce some stronger
boomers. Friday into Tuesday the warm air stays in place and so does the
chance of scattered afternoon and early evening storms.
-Dan Reynolds

Weather Factoid
With severe weather season ongoing, sign up for Accu Weather Messenger
and have severe weather information deliver straight to your cell phone.
Click on the icon on the main page.

Tuesday Night
Stray Storm Possible Early. Becoming Mostly Clear. South Wind 5-10.
Low 67

Wednesday
Partly Cloudy. Scattered Storms Possible. South Wind 10.
High 90

Wednesday Night
Isolated Early Shower or Storms Possible. Becoming Mostly Clear. South
Wind 10.
Low 68

Thursday
Increasing Cloudiness. Scattered Afternoon Storms Possible. Southeast
Wind 5-10.
High 86

Friday
Mostly Cloudy. Scattered Storms Possible.
High 89
Low 69

Saturday
Mostly Cloudy. Scattered Storms Possible.
High 86
Low 67

Sunday
Mostly Cloudy. Scattered Storms Possible.
High 86
Low 66

Monday
Decreasing Cloudiness. Scattered Storms Possible.
High 89
Low 69

Tuesday
Partly Cloudy. Scattered Storms Possible.
High 86
Low 67



****A PARTING THOUGHT ****
In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?


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LAST CALL Y'ALL



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