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If ya don't like the music, Just turn it off?
V

From Carlisle ,Indiana
Welcome to? ?
The? Almost Daily Funnies

"Friends are God's way of taking care of us."
These? are clean jokes. However,
They are
PG - Not intended for? younger readers - PG

Welcome New Subscribers
Anyone without a sense of humor is at the mercy
of the rest of us. Heaven Help Them

TOP TEN SATURDAY
JUNE? 11,2005

THOUGHT FOR TODAY:
Never mistake knowledge for wisdom.One helps
you make a living;the other helps you make a life.

THE TOP TEN LISTS

The top 10 country singles:? ?
? ?
1. Making Memories Of Us -- Keith Urban? ?
2. Fast Cars And Freedom -- Rascal Flatts? ?
3. Lot Of Leavin' Left To Do -- Dierks Bentley? ?
4. You'll Be There -- George Strait? ?
5. Something More -- Sugarland? ?
6. Keg In The Closet -- Kenny Chesney? ?
7. As Good As I Once Was -- Toby Keith? ?
8. Songs About Me -- Trace Adkins? ?
9. Mississippi Girl -- Faith Hill? ?
10. If Something Should Happen -- Darryl Worley? ?

The top 10 country albums:? ?
? ?
1. Toby Keith -- Honkytonk University? ?
2. Rascal Flatts -- Feels Like Today? ?
3. Keith Urban -- Be Here? ?
4. Sugarland -- Twice The Speed Of Life? ?
5. Cowboy Troy -- Loco Motive? ?
6. Dierks Bentley -- Modern Day Drifter? ?
7. Gretchen Wilson -- Here For The Party? ?
8. Larry The Cable Guy -- The Right To Bare Arms? ?
9. Big & Rich -- Horse Of A Different Color? ?
10. Kenny Chesney -- When The Sun Goes Down? ?

The top 10 Christian singles:? ?

1. Hide -- Joy Williams? ?
2. Take You Back -- Jeremy Camp? ?
3. Holy Is The Lord -- Chris Tomlin? ?
4. Nothing Without You -- Bebo Norman? ?
5. You're Worthy Of My Praise -- Big Daddy Weave & Barlowgirl? ?
6. Held -- Natalie Grant? ?
7. Brave -- Nichole Nordeman? ?
8. About You -- ZOEgirl? ?
9. Heaven -- Salvador? ?
10. Voice Of Truth -- Casting Crowns? ?

The top 10 other singles:? ?

1. We Belong Together -- Mariah Carey? ?
2. Hollaback Girl -- Gwen Stefani? ?
3. Just A Lil Bit -- 50 Cent? ?
4. Oh -- Ciara Featuring Ludacris? ?
5. Don't Phunk With My Heart -- The Black Eyed Peas? ?
6. Behind These Hazel Eyes -- Kelly Clarkson? ?
7. Switch -- Will Smith? ?
8. Grind With Me -- Pretty Ricky? ?
9. Since U Been Gone -- Kelly Clarkson? ?
10. Hate It Or Love It -- The Game Featuring 50 Cent? ?

The top 10 o[her albums:? ?
? ?
1. Mariah Carey -- The Emancipation Of Mimi? ?
2. System Of A Down -- Mezmerize? ?
3. Audioslave -- Out Of Exile? ?
4. Toby Keith -- Honkytonk University? ?
5. Gwen Stefani -- Love. Angel. Music. Baby.? ?
6. Common -- Be? ?
7. Dave Matthews Band -- Stand Up? ?
8. 50 Cent -- The Massacre? ?
9. Kelly Clarkson -- Breakaway? ?
10. Il Divo -- Il Divo

Top Electronic Albums? ?

1. Gorillaz -- Demon Days? ?
2. Various Artists -- Motown: Remixed? ?
3. Moby -- Hotel? ?
4. New Order -- Waiting For The Sirens' Call? ?
5. M.I.A. -- Arular? ?
6. Various Artists -- Superstars #1 Hits Remixed? ?
7. Various Artists -- Fired Up! 2? ?
8. Thievery Corporation -- Cosmic Game? ?
9. Various Artists -- Verve//Remixed3? ?
10. Scissor Sisters -- Scissor Sisters? ?

The top 10 mainstream rock tracks:? ?
? ?
1. Holiday -- Green Day? ?
2. Happy? -- Mudvayne? ?
3. Remedy -- Seether? ?
4. The Hand That Feeds -- Nine Inch Nails? ?
5. Best Of You -- Foo Fighters? ?
6. B.Y.O.B. -- System Of A Down? ?
7. Be Yourself -- Audioslave? ?
8. No Surprise -- Theory Of A Deadman? ?
9. Right Here -- Staind? ?
10. The Clincher -- Chevelle?
? ?
The top 10 DVD rentals:? ?

1. The Aviator -- Warner Home Video? ?
2. Are We There Yet? -- Columbia TriStar Home Entertainment? ?
3. National Treasure -- Dimension Home Video? ?
4. White Noise -- Universal Studios Home Video? ?
5. In Good Company -- Universal Studios Home Video? ?
6. Meet The Fockers -- Universal Studios Home Video? ?
7. Assault on Precinct 13 -- Universal Studios Home Video? ?
8. Racing Stripes -- Warner Home Video? ?
9. Son of The Mask -- New Line Home Entertainment? ?
10. Team America: World Police -- Paramount Home Entertain-? ?
? ? ? ment? ?
? ?

Top 10 DVD sales:? ?
? ?
1. Team America: World Police Special Unrated Edition --? ?
? ? Paramount Home Entertainment? ?
2. Seinfeld: The Complete Fourth Season -- Columbia TriStar? ?
? ? Home Entertainment? ?
3. White Noise (Widescreen) -- Universal Studios Home Video? ?
4. White Noise (Full Screen) -- Universal Studios Home Video? ?
5. National Treasure (Full Screen) -- Dimension Home Video? ?
6. National Treasure (Widescreen) -- Dimension Home Video? ?
7. Son of the Mask -- New Line Home Entertainment? ?
8. Racing Stripes (Full Screen) -- Warner Home Video? ?
9. Star Wars: Episode II-Attack Of The Clones (Widescreen)? ?
? ? -- FoxVideo? ?
10. Assault on Precinct 13 (Widescreen) -- Universal Studios? ?
? ? ? Home Video? ?

If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can get going without pep pills,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be
grateful for it, If you can understand when your loved ones
are too busy to give you any time,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment
If you can ignore a friend's limited education and never
correct him, If you can resist treating a rich friend better
than a poor friend, If you can conquer tension without
medical help, If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
...Then You Are Probably The Family Dog!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One of the most frustrating conversations in history is recorded by
"Theatre Arts magazine."

A subscriber dialed 'Information' for the magazine's telephone number.

'Sorree,' drawled the operator, 'but there is nobody listed by the name
of Theodore Arts.'

'It's not a person; it's a publication,' insisted the subscriber. 'I
want Theater Arts.'

The operator's voice raised a few decibels. 'I told you,' she repeated,
'we have no listing for Theodore Arts.'

'Confound it!' hollered the subscriber, 'the word is Theater':
T-H-E-A-T-E-R.'

'That,' said the operator with crushing finality, 'is not the way to
spell Theodore!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the book Animal Voices, the author claims you can telepathically
communicate with the insects in your house and get them to leave.
I can't get my relatives to go and I even spray them with Raid.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man lost both ears in an accident. No plastic surgeon
could offer him a solution. He heard of a very good one
in Sweden, and went to him. The new surgeon examined
him, thought a while, and said, "yes, I can put you right."
After the operation, bandages off, stitches out, he goes to
his hotel. The morning after, in a rage, he calls his surgeon,
and yells, "You swine, you gave me a woman's ears."
"Well, an ear is an ear, it makes no difference whether it
is a man's or a woman's." "You're wrong,
I hear everything, but I don't understand a thing!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Four macho guys go on a fishing expedition. To save a
little money, they? rent a small cabin that has only two
bedrooms. Bill sleeps with Charlie the first night and he
come to breakfast next morning with his hair a
mess and his eyes all bloodshot.? The other two ask,
"What happened to? you?"
Bill says, "That Charlie, he snores so loud, I was kept
awake watching him all night. I can't do that another
night so one of you has got to do it!"
Since Charlie snores so loudly, no one else wants to
room with him, but they finally agree to take turns.
The next night is Oscar's turn.? ? ? In the morning, the same
thing - hair all standing up, eyes all blood shot.? Oscar
declares, "Man, that Charlie shakes the roof. And he
sleeps so hard, I couldn't wake him! I watched him all night."
The third night is Steve's turn. The next morning Steve
comes to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed.? ?
The other two can't believe it!? ? "What happened?"
they ask, "How on earth did you sleep with all
that racket?"? Steve says, "Well, as we got ready for bed,
I went and tucked Charlie into bed and kissed him
good night. Then he watched ME all night long."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Subject Reasons why I never visit my rich friend

Once while visiting a very rich friend, the maid approached me and.....

Question : "What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea,
Chocolate, Capuccino, Frapuccino,or Coffee?"
Answer: " Tea please"
Question : " Ceylon tea, Indian tea, Herbal tea,Bush tea, Honey bush
tea,Iced tea or green tea ?" Answer : "Ceylon tea " Question : "How
would you like it ? black or white ?
Answer: "white"
Question: "Milk, or fresh cream?
Answer: "With milk "
Question: "Goat's milk, or cow's milk"
Answer: "With cow's milk please.
Question: " Freezeland cow or Afrikaner cow?"
Answer: " Um, I'll just take it black. "
Question: " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?"
Answer: "With sugar"
Question: " Beet sugar or cane sugar?"
Answer: "Cane sugar "
Question:" White, brown or yellow sugar?"
Answer: "Forget about the tea, just give me a glass of water instead."
Question: "Mineral water, tap water or distilled water? "
Answer: "Mineral water"
Question: "Flavored or non-flavored ?"
Answer: "I think I'll just die of thirst!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Speaking of catchy titles, there's a wonderful story about a homiletics professor who was attempting to teach his seminary students the importance of good sermon titles. "If I were on a bus one Sunday morning and it stopped in front of your church," he said, "would the sermon title you advertised on your bulletin board get me off the bus?"

One by one various students offered various suggestions with that aim in mind to which the professor replied, "That wouldn't get me off the bus!"

Finally, one wise guy suggested the title: "There's A Bomb On Your Bus!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
News Anchor Dan Rather, The Reverend Jesse Jackson, NPR reporter Cokie
Roberts, and an American Marine were hiking through the jungle one day
when they were captured by cannibals. They were tied up, led to the
village and brought before the chief.

The chief said, "I am familiar with your western custom of granting the
condemned a last wish. Before we kill and eat you, do you have any last
requests?"

Dan Rather said, "Well, I'm a Texan; so I'd like one last bowl full of
hot, spicy chili." The chief nodded to an underling, who left and
returned with the chili. Rather ate it all and said, "Now I can die
content."

Jesse Jackson said, "You know, the thing in this life I am proudest of
is my work on behalf of the poor and oppressed. So before I go, I want
to sing "We Shall Overcome"? one last time." The chief said, "Go right
ahead, we're listening." Jackson sang the song, and then said, "Now I
can die in peace."

Cokie Roberts said, "I'm a reporter to the end. I want to take out my
tape recorder and describe the scene here and what's about to happen.
Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job until
the end." The chief directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder, and
Roberts dictated some comments. She then said, "Now I can die happy."

The chief turned and said, "And now, Mr. Marine, what is your final
wish?" "Kick me in the butt " said the Marine. "What?" said the chief.
"Will you mock us in your last hour?" "No, I'm not kidding. I want you
to kick me in the butt " insisted the Marine. So the chief shoved him
into the open, and kicked him in the butt. The Marine went sprawling,
but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9mm pistol from his waistband, and
shot the chief dead. In the resulting confusion, he leapt to his
knapsack, pulled out his M4 carbine, and sprayed the cannibals with
gunfire. In a flash, the cannibals were dead or fleeing for their lives.

As the Marine was untying the others, they asked him, "Why did you ask
them to kick you in the butt?"? Why didn't you just shoot them?

"What!?" said the Marine, "And have you liberals call ME the
aggressor?!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"A Lesson In Cooking"

One Sunday morning when my son, David, was about 5, we were attending a
church in our community.

It was common for the preacher to invite the children to the front of
the church and have a small lesson before beginning the sermon. He would
bring in an item they could find around the house and relate it to a
teaching from the Bible.

This particular morning, the visual aid for his lesson was a smoke
detector.

He asked the children if anyone knew what it meant when an alarm sounded
from the smoke detector.

My child immediately raised his hand and said, "It means Daddy's cooking
dinner."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You don't have to spend your money on expensive burglar alarms anymore.
Here is a cheaper way to deter burglars at your house. Just put up a few
signs in well-placed locations....

Dear Mr. Butcher: starting tomorrow, please leave ten pounds of meat for
Brutus. Six pounds only makes him angry and vicious!

Dear Mr. Mailman: we found bloodstains all over our mail. They must be
yours. The next time you put mail into our slot, please be sure to keep
all parts of your body well clear of all openings. P.S. - Any sign of
that book we sent for, "The Care and Feeding of Wild Jungle Cats"?

Dear Mr. Exterminator: be very careful when you go inside! The termites
have eaten through most of the floorboards already and you will fall
into the basement where all of the rats are that we want you to rid us
of.

To whom it may concern: Some of the items in this house have been
engraved with Federal Identification Numbers. Others have merely been
wired to explode when touched. Good luck.....heh heh!!

Selma dear, don't come in! Jake, the boa constrictor got loose again!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A first grader was sitting in class as the teacher was reading the story
of the Three Little Pigs. She came to the part of the story where the
first pig was trying to acquire building materials for his home.

She said,

? "...And so the pig went up to the man with a wheelbarrow full of straw
and said 'Pardon me sir, but might I have some of that straw to build my
house with?' "

Then the teacher asked the class,

"And what do you think that man said?"

My friend's son raised his hand and says,

? "I know! I know!, he said...

? ? ? ? ? ? 'Holy smokes! A talking pig!!' "

Needless to say, the teacher was unable to teach for the next 10
minutes.

**** Quickies? ****

If you treat a sick child like an adult and a sick adult like a child,
everything usually works out pretty well.
~~~
A ragged individual stranded for months on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific one day noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it. Rushing to the bottle, he pulled out the cork and with shaking hands withdrew the message. "Due to lack of activity," he read, "we have regretfully found it necessary to cancel your e-mail account."
~~~
The NBA's Washington Bullets will be changing their name to avoid
being associated with an image of crime. So from now on, they're
just going to be known as the Bullets.
~~~
"The new Indiana Jones movie will have a younger sidekick.
Hey a younger sidekick could be Wilfred Brimley." --Jay Leno
~~~
Trying to convince your wife you're sticking to your diet?
Eat the whole cake; leftovers will only prove you've been snacking.
~~~
Q.? What do you call a contest that gives away ceramics?
A.? A pottery lottery.
~~~
Q.? What is the difference between a well-dressed lady and a tired dog?
A.? The lady wears a skirt and the dog pants.
~~~
Q.? What do you call a nun who just passed her bar exam?
A.? A Sister-In-Law!

**** HERE'S YOUR SIGN - STUPID ****
PHILADELPHIA, Pennsylavania - Here is living proof that all? ?
crooks come in different shapes and sizes. A 6ft 4in man? ?
dressed in drag so he could use credit cards which had been? ?
stolen from a woman in September to buy a new car in the U.S.? ?
According to police, the man tried to buy a Mitsubishi car? ?
with one of the woman's cards featuring her name but displayed? ?
his picture on it. The dealership was alerted when it ran a? ?
credit check and was told the woman had been a victim of? ?
fraud. The man has since then been charged with forgery and? ?
attempted theft.?
HERE'S YOUR SIGN - STUPID
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

**** WEIRD HAPPENINS ****
In 1996, a Californian judge ruled against James Pflugradt's? ?
estate and in favor of the deceased's former landlord. The? ?
judge allowed the landlord to keep Pflugradt's $825 security? ?
deposit because he died without giving 30 days notice.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Troy Matthew Gentzler confessed to tossing rocks at cars? ?
from an overpass on Interstate 83 near York, Pennsylvania.? ?
But his lawyer claimed he was the victim of "Roid rage,"? ?
erratic emotional swings caused by steroid use.? ?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In October 1996, Charles S. Shapiro begged the Montgomery? ?
County, Maryland, court to allow him to change his plea to? ?
not guilty of hiring a hit man. He claimed his judgment had? ?
been impaired because he had ingested tranquilizers along? ?
with a bottle of Tums before confessing.? ?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Saint Louis, Missouri, man argued that the reason the? ?
jury found him guilty of stealing court documents wasn't? ?
that it had been prejudiced against him. The man claimed he? ?
was demonized because the judge allowed the jury to learn? ?
he was a lawyer.? ?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
--- Woman Bites Off More Than She Could Chew in Argument ---? ?

NEWCASTLE, England - A British woman admitted in court that? ?
she bit off more than she could chew, literally, when she? ?
aided a friend in a domestic dispute. Denise Carr, 32, leapt? ?
to the defense of her friend Shelley Hutchinson when her? ?
husband Neil began attacking her. He then began fighting with? ?
Carr, and sat on top of her. Carr told the court she defended? ?
herself by biting her attacker in the groin, but hadn't? ?
realized that in doing so, she bit off his testicle. It was? ?
only after the police arrived that the missing testicle was? ?
discovered under a picture frame in the sitting room. Carr? ?
was originally charged with wounding with intent but that was? ?
reduced to affray, which she admitted.? ?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MICHIGAN STATE UNIVERSITY - Forget rape, murder and mayhem.? ?
A 20-year-old college student is facing the business end of? ?
a $500 fine and up to three months in jail for splashing a? ?
pedestrian with his truck. Witness Eric Gill said he saw the? ?
perpetrator swerve at least five feet off the road to drive? ?
through a puddle and splash a woman as she walked on campus.? ?
Gill wrote down the license number and then drove alongside? ?
the truck to get a look at the driver, whom he said was? ?
laughing uproariously. While no victim has even come forward,? ?
Assistant Prosecutor Sam Smith said there is enough evidence? ?
to try the case.? ?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BROKEN ARROW, Oklahoma - We thought we'd never see another? ?
student witch story, but recently 15-year-old Union High? ?
School student Brandi Blackbear has been interrogated and? ?
suspended for just that. When one of her teachers became? ?
mysteriously ill suspicion immediately fell on Brandi who? ?
has made no secret about reading books from the school? ?
library about Wicca. Assistant principal Charlie Bushyhead? ?
suspended Blackbear for 15 days as "an immediate threat to? ?
the school," seized her notebooks, and barred her from? ?
drawing or wearing any Wiccan signs. A federal lawsuit is? ?
pending. "It's hard for me to believe that in the year 2000? ?
I am walking into court to defend my daughter against? ?
charges of witchcraft," her father said.?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ALMATY, Kazakhstan? A Kazakh man who was electrocuted and? ?
buried has shocked his friends and family by turning up for? ?
his own funeral feast. The man was wrapped in a cloth shroud? ?
according to Muslim tradition and buried in a shallow grave? ?
after apparently dying while trying to steal power cables? ?
in eastern Kazakhstan, local media reported Wednesday. But? ?
two days later he regained consciousness and rose naked? ?
from the ground, Express K daily said. The paper said he? ?
had difficulty flagging down a vehicle to take him home.?
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**** Cool Links ****
Mark w/Top 25 Country and Western Favorites
http://hideaway_fun.home.att.net/320/top_25_country.htm

Priscilla and Elvis Presley Wedding Album
http://www.geocities.com/cillapix/color/wed1.html

**** ON THIS DAY ****

"The Most Important Body Part"

My mother used to ask me what is the most important part of the body. Through the years I would take a guess at what I thought was the correct answer. When I was younger, Ithought sound was very important to us as humans, so I said, "My ears, Mommy."

She said, "No. Many people are deaf, but you keep thinking about it and I will ask you again soon."

Several years passed before she asked me again. Since making my first attempt, I had contemplated the correct answer. So this time I told her, "Mommy, sight is very important to everybody, so it must be our eyes."

She looked at me and told me, "You are learning fast, but the answer is not correct because there are many people who are blind."

Stumped again, I continued my quest for knowledge and over the years, Mother asked me a couple more times and always her answer was, "No. But you are getting smarter every year, my child."

Then last year, my grandpa died. Everybody was hurt. Everybody was crying.? ? Even my father cried. I remember that especially because it was only the second time I saw him cry. My Mom looked at me when it was our turn to say our final good-bye to Grandpa. She asked me, "Do you know the most important body part yet, my dear?"

I was shocked when she asked me this now. I always thought this was a game between her and me. She saw the confusion on my face and told me, "This question is very important. It shows that you have really lived in your life. For every body part you gave me in the past, I have told you were wrong and I have given you an example why. But today is the day you need to learn this important lesson."

She looked down at me as only a mother can. I saw her eyes well up with tears. She said, "My dear, the most important body part is your shoulder."

I asked, "Is it because it holds up my head?" She replied, "No, it is because it can hold the head of a friend or a loved one when they cry. Everybody needs a shoulder to cry on sometime in life, my dear. I only hope that you have enough love and friends that you will always have a shoulder to cry on when you need it."

Then and there I knew the most important body part is not a selfish one.? It is sympathetic to the pain of others.

People will forget what you said ... People will forget what you did ... But people will never forget how you made them feel.
Author Unknown

**** HEADS UP FOLKS ****
These Are My Causes Please Help
It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a mammogram"
for free (pink window in the middle). This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammogram
in exchange for advertising.
?
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know.?
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com
&
The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to? click on it daily to meet their quota
of getting free food donated? every day to abused and neglected animals. It takes less than a? minute to go
to their site and click on "feed an animal in need"? for free! This doesn't cost you a thing! Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate food? to abandoned/neglected animals in exchange
for advertising.?
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know!
? http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thoughts or Comments
jokes or stories
U Send'em and I'll print'em
Just keep it clean.A lota kids read this
jim4615@earthlink.net
Subject Line--- The Funnies/HEY LOOK
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
? ****? MOTOR SPORTS? NEWS ****

51065/83149_clear.gif victory

Top Stories

Win 25th career Trucks Series race with fast finish in Texas.

Story

Pa 51065/83149_clear.gif

Will start behind Scheckter, Enge at Texas Motor Speedway.

Story

Driver chases F-1 dream

Speed's training session ends 12-year American absence.

Story

**** BILL'S COUNTRY CALANDER ****

Edwin Duhon, "The Hackberry Ramblers," born Lafayette, LA 1910.

?

Brother Dave Gardner, singer/country comedy/drummer born Jackson, TN 1926.

?

Jud Strunk singer/songwriter/multi-instrumentalist born Jamestown, NY 1936.

?

Wilma Burgess born Orlando, FL 1939.

?

Hank Williams debuted as a guest, on the Grand Ole Opry in 1949. He appeared on the 9:30-10:00 PM segment sponsored by Warren Paint, and hosted by Ernest Tubb.? He sang "Lovesick Blues," and received six encores.

?

Jimmy Arnold, Traditional Bluegrass/Vocals/Fiddle/Guitar/Harmonica, born Fries, VA 1952.

?

Rose Maddox released "Wild Wild Young Men," 1955.

?

Marty Robbins released "Respectfully Miss Brooks/You Don't Owe Me A Thing" 1956.

?

Roy Orbison's first #1 hit "Running Scared" topped the Billboard chart 1961.

?

George Jones topped the charts with "She Thinks I Still Care" 1962.

?

Jay McDowell "BR5-49," born Bedford, IN 1969.

?

Conway Twitty's "Hello Darlin'" was #1 1970.

?

Ann Murray's "Heart Over Mind," album certified gold 1985.

?

Joe Val, age 58, songwriter/multi-instrumentalist died 1985.

?

Patty Loveless joined the Grand Ole Opry 1988.

?

Tim McGraw kicked off his "Out Loud Tour" in Virginia Beach, VA 2004.

?

Faith Hill's first major movie "The Stepford Wives," opened in theaters 2004.? Nicole Kidman, Glenn Close, and Bette Midler starred.

?

Provided by Bill Morrison at www.rockabillyhall.com/billmorrison.html

? **** COUNTRY MUSIC NEWS ****
?

June 10, 2005: Kix Brooks and Ronnie Dunn of Brooks & Dunn will return to host "The 39th Annual CMA Awards" Tuesday, Nov. 15 (8 p.m.-11 p.m. eastern time) from Madison Square Garden in New York City.
"After the great job they did in 2004, Kix and Ronnie were the natural choice to host 'Country Music's Biggest Night' from the world's biggest stage - New York City," said CMA Executive Director Ed Benson in a press release Friday. "After all, they are consummate entertainers and among the formats biggest stars. They are the total package - humor, talent, credibility and artistic integrity. The CMA Awards are in very good hands."
"It's great to know we didn't screw it up too bad last year," Brooks said with a laugh. "Obviously we are not comedians, but if we learned anything, it is to stay out of the way and let the great music on the show take care of itself."
"The 'Big Apple' is a well-seasoned pro. As second-year hosts, we are far from that, but we are honored to go to New York and humbly fill in as hosts for this year's CMA Awards," added Dunn.
"We couldn't ask for better ambassadors of Country Music and the CMA Awards," Benson said. "We are taking our industry's most important show and the best our format has to offer to the media and marketing capital of the world. And that will speak for itself." The 2004 CMA Awards, which aired for the first time on Tuesday night, posted an 11.5 rating with an 18 share. CBS estimates that 18.46 million people watched the entire broadcast and more than 37 million viewers watched all or part of the show.
The final nominees for the 2005 CMA Awards will be announced during a press conference to be held in New York City in early September. "The CMA Awards" will be held in New York City this year only. The event returns to Nashville in 2006 for its 40th Anniversary at the Gaylord Entertainment Center.

* * * * * * *

June 9, 2005: Toby Keith is still number 1 on the Billboard country album chart for the week ending June 18 with "Honkytonk University." The first five albums remained the same.
And Keith Urban remains first on the singles chart with "Making Memories of Us."
Rascal Flatts' "Fast Cars and Freedom" and Dierks Bentley's "Lot of Leavin' Left to Do" remained two-three. George Strait was up one to fourth with "You'll Be There," and Sugarland was up two to fifth with "Something More."
Keith was the biggest mover, up five to seventh with "As Good As I Once Was." Faith Hill's Mississippi Girl" was up four to ninth in only its fourth week out.
Darryl Worley broke into the top 10 with "If Something Should Happen," up 4 spots to 10th.
On the album charts, Rascal Flatts was second with "Feels Like Today," Keith Urban third with "Be Here," Sugarland fourth with "Twice the Speed of life" and Cowboy Troy fifth with "Loco Motive."
The overall top 200 found Keith 4th, Rascal Flatts 13th, Urban 20th, Sugarland 29th and Cowboy Troy 34th.

* * * * * * *

June 8, 2005: Eddy Arnold has built a long career with 85 million records sold, 67 Top 10 hits and a career honored earlier this year with a Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award. R And he's not done making new music either.
Anew RCA collection, "After All These Years," is coming out Aug. 16. "Cowboy" Jack Clement produced.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
? Crow, Gill to Harmonize With Brooks & Dunn? ?

Sheryl Crow and Vince Gill provide harmonies on one track? ?
on Brooks & Dunn's forthcoming album, expected for a late? ?
summer release. Dunn knew the song, "Building Bridges,"? ?
from an old Rodney Crowell album. Larry Willoughby, now an? ?
A&R executive at Capitol Nashville, wrote and recorded the? ?
song. His version peaked at No. 55 on Billboard's country? ?
singles chart in 1984. ... In related news, Kix Brooks was? ?
honored by St. Andrews-Sewanee Academy with its first? ?
Distinguished Alumni Award on Friday (June 3) in Sewanee,? ?
Tenn. Brooks attended the secondary school from 1969 to? ?
1973.? ? ?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tom T. Hall Named Hall of Fame Artist in Residence? ?

Tom T. Hall, who retired from live performing in 1997, will? ?
play three rare shows at the Country Music Hall of Fame and? ?
Museum in August as the museum's artist in residence. Known? ?
as "The Storyteller," Hall will be joined by friends and? ?
admirers at each show -- taking place Aug. 3, 10 and 17 --? ?
but the lineup will not be announced in advance. Hall is? ?
perhaps best known for writing "Harper Valley P.T.A." but? ?
also notched 21 Top 10 solo hits between 1969 and 1984,? ?
including "The Year That Clayton Delaney Died" and "I Love."? ?
Tickets will go on sale to the general public June 17.? ? ?

? ? ? ? ? ? **** TODAY'S SPECIAL ****? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

Barbecue Pork Spare Ribs

3-4 Slabs of Pork Spare Ribs

1 Pint Barbecue Sauce

2 Cups Water, Juice or Broth, (for steaming/simmering)

Vegetable Oil

Black Pepper

Directions:

Barbeque pork spare ribs with charcoal grill and dutch oven for melt in your mouth backyard, picnic, tailgate or campground dinner. Needed: Charcoal grill, Deep 12" dutch oven, pie pan or trivet, part of an afternoon, and 4-6 hungry folks. Prepare charcoal grill for ash white hot coals and maximum grill height for slow browning. While coals are burning down, split slab ribs into individual rib pieces and swab with cooking oil. Pepper liberally and then brown on both sides. Do not pre-boil ribs. Prepare deep 12" dutch oven by placing an inverted pie pan or trivet into oven bottom. This prevents ribs on the bottom from sticking and burning. Place dutch oven on the charcoal grill and add the browned ribs. Slow cook/simmer ribs covered, about 2-3 hours or until meat begins to fall off bone. You may line oven with aluminum foil to ease clean up chores. (I don't. I like the added flavor from cooking directly in the old iron dutch oven) Add briquettes to the fire as necessary. When the pot is half full of ribs I add BBQ sauce (or add water to prevent drying out while simmering) to those on the bottom only. Continue loading the oven with the browned ribs. The steaming sauce flavors the bottom ribs thoroughly and the top ribs somewhat less.

Comments:

Prep Time: 1/2 hour prep, 1/2 hour grilling, 2 hours simmering Occasion: Camping, picnic, tailgating or backyard Cuisine: Barbecue Effort: Easy

**** TODAY'S USELESS FACT ****

What requirements must be met for fish to be designated as "sushi-grade"?

? Sushi-grade fish, available at specialty stores and fish vendors, must meet certain aesthetic and health requirements.Fish that is suitable for eating raw must be frozen for seven days at negative 4 degrees Fahrenheit, or flash frozen for 15 hours at negative 31 degrees. Contrary to popular belief, fish that's "fresh out of the ocean" is often dangerous to eat. An abstract of a recently archived New York Times article revealed some helpful facts:

* Fifty to sixty percent of sushi in United States is frozen at some point.

* The Food and Drug Administration stipulates that all fish to be eaten raw (with the exception of tuna) must be frozen first, in order to kill parasites.

* The FDA leaves enforcement of the frozen-fish rule to local health officials.

Tina Ujlaki of "Food & Wine" magazine rather unhelpfully notes that in addition to meeting the FDA freezing guidelines, "sushi- grade" fish must meet standards of freshness, fat content, and firmness.

**** WABASH VALLEY WEATHER ****
Weather Summary
Same pattern persists until Monday. Afternoon heating will give us a
chance of popup thunderstorms. Showers and storms could continue
overnight Saturday into Sunday. Tropical Storm Arlene may bring the
Valley some widespread rain Monday morning. Arlene`s current track shows
moisture pulling into the area overnight Sunday into Monday.
Temperatures up and down this week depending on cloud cover. By
Wednesday things cool a bit to more seasonable levels. Could see
scattered showers next Friday.
-Dan Reynolds

Weather Factoid
Arlene is the first named Tropical Storm of the year.

Friday Night
Isolated Storms Possible Early. Mostly Cloudy Overnight. South Wind
4-10.
Low 67

Saturday
Partly Cloudy. Isolated Storms Possible. South Wind 9-14.
High 83

Saturday Night
Variable Cloudiness. Scattered Showers and Storms Possible During the
Evening and Overnight. SSE Wind 5-10.
Low 67

Sunday
Variable Cloudiness. Scattered Storms Possible. South Wind 6-11.
High 83

Monday
Mostly Cloudy.
High 86
Low 68

Tuesday
Mostly Cloudy. Scattered Storms Possible.
High 87
Low 61

Wednesday
Partly Cloudy.
High 80
Low 59

Thursday
Partly Cloudy.
High 82
Low 57

Friday
Partly Cloudy. Scattered Showers Possible.
High 80
Low 59

****A PARTING THOUGHT ****

If every man was as true to his country as he was
to his wife, we'd be in a lot of trouble.

LAST CALL Y'ALL
A guy had been unemployed for several months and unable to? find a job.
After numerous applications, he was finally? invited to a downtown
business for a job interview. Upon? arriving downtown, he was unable to
find a parking spot near the building where he needed to go. Thinking
that someone parked along the curb near the building where he needed to
go would surely be leaving soon, he circled the block. After 20 minutes
of pure frustration in not finding a parking spot he decided to park at
a red curb, rather than be late for his interview. Prior to leaving his
car, he wrote this note and placed it on the
windshield:

? Dear Officer,

? I have been driving around this block for twenty minutes.? ? If I don't
do
this it means my job.? FORGIVE US OUR DEBTS!!!

? The man proceeded into the building where the interview went really
well. Upon returning to his car, he noticed a parking ticket on the
windshield. Next to the ticket was a note that read:

? Dear Sir,

? I have been driving around this block for twenty years.? ? If I don't do
this it means my job.? LEAD US NOT INTO TEMPTATION !!!

That's all folks
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