FRIDAY JUNE? 17,2005

THOUGHT FOR TODAY:
If teens always complain about having nothing to do
during summer vacation, how come they have to stay
out so late to get it done?

A volunteer firefighter was grocery shopping when his pager went off. He ran out, leaving his cart in an aisle. When he returned he found the cart full with his list on top and a note reading: "I finished your shopping for you. Thanks for helping the community."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My father has always despised anyone who tries to sell him something at the door. So in his brilliance he posted a sign that read, "I shoot every third salesman, the second one just left." In five years only one salesman knocked on the door. He commented on the sign being a good joke. "It's not," repied my father. The man turned around and left immediately.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Most of us have enough money to pay our taxes.
What we need is something to live on
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The new father ran out of the delivery room and announced to the rest of his family who were waiting for the news: "We had twins!" We're naming them Maureen and Colleen!

The family was so excited they immediately asked, "Who do Maureen and Colleen look like?"

The father paused, smiled, and said, "Each other."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Failing to get a response from a letter to a store's president, a consumer wrote a second letter which began: "Dear Computer: I realize that you are now running things and the president is only a figurehead." The copy he sent the president got his problem solved.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two blondes were driving along a road by a wheat fieldwhen they saw a blonde in the middle of the fieldrowing a row boat.

The driver blonde turned to her friend and said, "You know - it's blondes like that that give us a bad name!"

To this, the other blonde replies "I know it, and if I knew how to swim, I'd go out there and drown her."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The cell phone people say there's absolutely no danger from cell phone radiation.
Boy it didn't take those tobacco executives long to
find new jobs, did it?

On a balmy day in the South Pacific, a navy ship spied smoke
coming from one of three huts on an island they thought was
deserted.?  Upon arriving at the shore they were met by a "survivor."

He said, "I'm so glad you're here!?  I've been alone on this
island for more than five years!"

The captain of the ship replied, "But we saw THREE huts."

The survivor said, "Oh, Well.?  I live in one, and go to
church in another."

"What about the THIRD hut?" asked the captain.

"That's where I USED to go to school,but I graduated."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FAMOUS LAST WORDS

What do you mean, "I'll be back"?
Why is the rest of the Star Trek landing party wearing
?  a different color?
Pull the pin and count to what?
Which wire was I supposed to cut?
I wonder where the mother bear is.
I've seen this done on TV.
These are the good kind of mushrooms.
I'll hold it and you light the fuse.
What's that priest doing here?
You look just like Charles Manson.
Let it down slowly.
Rat poison only kills rats.
OK, I'll go ahead and make your day.
It can't possibly rain for forty days and nights.
I'll get your toast out.
Give me liberty or give me death.
Just take whatever you want, this is a ghost town.
It's strong enough for both of us.
This doesn't taste right.
I can make this light before it changes.
Nice doggie.
I can do that with my eyes closed.
I've done this before.
Well we've made it this far.
That's odd.
Hey that's not a violin.
Hey y'all watch this
I'll just slip into the commuter lane for a second.
I don't think we're in Kansas anymore.
You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses on, would you?
Hey y'all, lookie here
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Brittney, our daughter-in-law, was out shopping while our son Cory
stayed at home with their infant son.?  In the supermarket checkout
line, a woman behind Brittney asked,

"How old is your baby?"

"Six weeks," Brittney answered, "but how did you know I
have a baby?"

"Well," the woman said smiling, "I've been watching you rock your
grocery cart."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did you know there's a baby boom in Florida right now??  They say
it's because of the three hurricanes to hit Florida nine months
ago that left people with no electricity.

I don't know. Do you think that's the reason??  If not having
electricity is the reason people are having more babies, shouldn't
we be flooded with Amish right now? Just Amish everywhere!?  -
Jay Leno
~~~~~~~~~
A spokesman for NASA confirmed that an extremely giddy gypsy had
to be forcibly removed from Cape Canaveral. She had wanted to
hold a meeting of the spirits before the next shuttle launch. "I
had to tell her, 'Lady, this ain't rocket seance'. When she
still wouldn't leave or stop laughing, we had to beat her into
submission. Sometimes it's hard to strike a happy medium."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The college football player knew his way around the locker room
better than he did the library, so when my husband's co-worker saw
the gridiron star roaming the stacks looking confused, she asked how
she could help. "I have to read a play by Shakespeare," he said.
"Which one?" she asked. He scanned the shelves and answered,
"There's more than one?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him. Then he? ? 
blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the? ? 
loch.? ? 

After a while the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your? ? 
thoughts, Angus."? ? 

The young man knit his brow. "Well, now," he said, "my? ? 
thoughts are a bit more serious this time."? ? 

"Really?" said the girl, filled with anticipation.? ? 

"Aye," said the lad.? ? 

The girl looked away in shyness, began to blush and bit her? ? 
lip in anticipation of the ultimate request.? ? 

Angus blurted out, "Din'na ye think it's aboot time ye paid? ? 
me those first two pennies?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the small, family-owned electronics store in Spokane, Wash.,
where I work, we often get folks from out of town whose idioms are
a little different from our own. One day, after parking across the
street in an attended lot, a young woman came in, made her purchase,
and then asked, "Do you give validation?" Without batting an eye,
my manager replied, "You are an excellent person, and I love
your hair."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Justice Department says cases of spousal abuse are
down?  significantly over the past decade. Experts
attribute the decline to better police training,
awareness programs, and the fact that O.J. Simpson
hasn't remarried.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"We all get heavier as we get older because,
there's a lot more information in our heads."
So I'm not fat, I'm just really intelligent and my
head couldn't hold anymore so it started filling up
the rest of me!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

? Race-based heart drug to be reviewed? ? 

WASHINGTON, -- A U.S. drug panel will review a heart drug? ? 
that was rejected eight years ago for the general public? ? 
but which is now being promoted for African-Americans. The? ? 
heart failure treatment drug called BiDil was rejected by? ? 
the Food and Drug Administration because its supporting? ? 
studies were found to be inconclusive, The New York Times? ? 
reported Monday. But now a study of 1,050 African-American? ? 
heart failure patients showed BiDil significantly reduced? ? 
death and hospitalization, the Times reported. BiDil is? ? 
seen as increasing the levels of nitric oxide, which? ? 
widens blood vessels. Previous studies have suggested? ? 
African-Americans have deficiencies of nitric oxide, a? ? 
compound that occurs naturally in the human body, the? ? 
report said. The drug's maker, NitroMed Inc., says its? ? 
decision to market BiDil for African-Americans is based? ? 
on solid science. But other scientists think that race is? ? 
too broad and ill-defined a category to be relevant in? ? 
determining a drug's approval, the Times said.
~~~
Fifth possible brain infection case cited? ? 

WASHINGTON, -- The U.S. government reportedly has received? ? 
the fifth possible case of a rare brain infection linked? ? 
to the multiple sclerosis drug Tysabri. Quoting government? ? 
records, the Wall Street Journal says the latest case of? ? 
the infection, which can be fatal, was reported May 16? ? 
through the Food and Drug Administration's Adverse Event? ? 
Reporting System. "We are aware of the report and it will? ? 
be updated by the company if there is any relevant informa-? ? 
tion," an FDA spokeswoman told the Journal. "These reports? ? 
don't represent confirmed cases." The drug's makers, Biogen? ? 
Idec Inc. and Elan Corp., have reported three confirmed? ? 
cases of the infection in patients taking Tysabri. Two of? ? 
the patients died, while the third has recently shown signs? ? 
of improvement. The companies pulled the drug from the? ? 
market in February, the Journal said. The companies say? ? 
diagnosis on a possible fourth case, reported, earlier? ? 
this month has not been confirmed. The latest possible? ? 
case concerns a female patient.? ? ? 
~~~
Bills unlikely to mean fewer abortions? ? 

CHICAGO, -- Several U.S. states have passed measures regard-? ? 
ing abortion rights but activists said the bills are unlike-? ? 
ly to drastically reduce the number of abortions. David? ? 
Garrow, a legal historian at the Emory Law School told the? ? 
Christian Science Monitor many of the measures represent? ? 
efforts by anti-abortion state legislators to keep the base? ? 
happy. "The appearance of activity appears to satisfy people? ? 
even if, when you look at it carefully, there's no tangible? ? 
impact," he said. This year, for instance, Florida has taken? ? 
additional oversights on some clinics, Texas demands written? ? 
parental consent for a minor before an abortion and Georgia? ? 
has a bill that orders a woman be told the likelihood a? ? 
fetus would feel pain during an abortion. David Bereit, with? ? 
the anti-abortion rights group American Life League, told? ? 
the Monitor: "Even in cases where it may be more symbolic or? ? 
less effectual in saving lives on unborn children we have to? ? 
recognize it has an effect in public relations and helping? ? 
people think these things through."
~~~
? Women open to preventive breast removal? ? 

LONDON, -- A poll of 1,500 women in Britain and five other? ? 
countries finds that 22 percent would consider having both? ? 
breasts removed if they were at high risk for cancer. The? ? 
Times of London reports that the figure was even higher? ? 
in Britain, with 31 percent of those asked saying they? ? 
would choose a double mastectomy. NOP World conducted the? ? 
survey in Australia, Belgium, Brazil, Britain, Germany and? ? 
Italy for Cancer Research UK. About 80 percent of the? ? 
41,000 women diagnosed with breast cancer every year in? ? 
Britain are post-menopausal. Cancer Research UK is setting? ? 
up a trial to determine if women who are both postmeno-? ? 
pausal and at high risk of breast cancer can reduce their? ? 
risk by taking anastrozole, a drug already used for treat-? ? 
ment. "The IBIS-II study is extremely important for women? ? 
with an increased risk of developing breast cancer," said? ? 
Jack Cuzick, the lead researcher. "It is vitally important? ? 
that women come forward to participate. It could provide? ? 
them with a valuable option in helping to control breast? ? 
cancer."? ? 
~~~
Soy can lower cholesterol? ? 

LEXINGTON, Ky.,?  -- University of Kentucky physician James? ? 
Anderson has found that soy beans can help lower cholesterol? ? 
and blood sugar. Writing in the June issue of the Journal of? ? 
the American College of Nutrition, Anderson, also a noted? ? 
nutritionist, says most people in the United States only? ? 
have vague idea that soy is a healthy food. Anderson tested? ? 
two commercially available meal replacements -- one soy-? ? 
based, and the other milk-based -- among obese adults for? ? 
12 weeks. Both groups lost weight but the soy-based group? ? 
lost slightly more weight in any given week, and displayed? ? 
lower serum cholesterol and LDL cholesterol levels. Soy? ? 
intake also produced small but significant reductions in? ? 
serum glucose values. "The bottom line is soy is healthy,? ? 
and while incorporating it into weight loss may not have a? ? 
more dramatic effect on your waistline than other nutrition? ? 
plans, its benefits go beyond weight loss toward increasing? ? 
overall health," Anderson said. In an accompanying article,? ? 
Anderson raised the possibility that poor snack choices may? ? 
play an active role in increasing rates of childhood obesity.? ? 
He said snacking can be healthful when the foods are high? ? 
in nutritional value and low in calories.? ? 
~~~
Exercise prevents mobility problems? ? 

MAIDEN, Mass., -- A study indicates older people who do not? ? 
exercise face a greater risk of future problems walking and? ? 
climbing stairs. The Health, Aging and Body Composition? ? 
Study followed 3,075 people ages 70 to 79 during a seven-? ? 
year period to assess changes in body composition. Research-? ? 
ers discovered that mobility loss in older people who do not? ? 
exercise can be reduced by having an active lifestyle,? ? 
reports the Journal of the American Geriatrics Society.? ? 
"Together with earlier evidence that physical activity in? ? 
old age is beneficial for physical, cognitive and psycho-? ? 
logical health, the results show the importance of an? ? 
active lifestyle in old age," lead author Marjolein Visser? ? 
said. "Healthcare providers should be aware of these bene-? ? 
ficial effects of physical activity and communicate this? ? 
to their patients." None of the study's participants? ? 
reported problems walking a quarter-mile or climbing 10? ? 
steps at the beginning of the study but after 4 1/2 years,? ? 
35 percent of the men and 47 percent of the women developed? ? 
problems. The study showed those who were inactive had the? ? 
greatest risk of developing mobility problems.
~~~
? ? ?  Breast cancer lures stem cells to survive? ? 

AUGUSTA, Ga., -- Breast cancer lures stem cells it needs to? ? 
survive by secreting growth factors that usually help the? ? 
body heal, Medical College of Georgia researchers said. Re-? ? 
searchers at the Augusta, Ga., college said they watched? ? 
growth factors FGF2, which makes connective tissue, and VEGF,? ? 
which makes blood vessels, bind to receptors on the stem? ? 
cells, which then migrated toward the cancer. However, once? ? 
the growth factors were blocked, the stem cell migration? ? 
ceased and the breast cancer grew no further. Researchers? ? 
said they suspect these and other growth factors play a role? ? 
in various forms of cancer, which someday might be blocked? ? 
by an antibody or an armed stem cell that would kill the? ? 
cancer to which it connects. "The first generation of chemo-? ? 
therapy was more targeting the cell division of cancer,"? ? 
said senior investigator Erhard Bieberich. "Now we are enter-? ? 
ing a new phase where we are targeting more the communica-? ? 
tion pathways."? ? ? 

? 
? **** COUNTRY MUSIC NEWS ****
? 
Yoakam's Blame the Vain Leads New Releases? ? 

Dwight Yoakam will release the album Blame the Vain on? ? 
Tuesday (June 14) on New West Records. The self-produced? ? 
album includes the first single, "Intentional Heartache."? ? 
Blame the Vain is Yoakam's 18th album in 21 years and his? ? 
first for New West. ... Other new releases include? ? 
Nashville Star winner Erika Jo's self-titled debut? ? 
(Universal South), Caitlin Cary & Thad Cockrell's Begonias? ? 
(Yep Roc), Jesse McReynolds & Charles Whitstein's A? ? 
Tribute to Brother Duets (Pinecastle) and an expanded? ? 
reissue of George Jones duets album from 1979, My Very? ? 
Special Guests (Columbia/Legacy, Epic/Legacy).
~~~
? John Michael Montgomery to Opens Restaurant? ? 

John Michael Montgomery will perform a concert Friday? ? 
(June 17) to open his new restaurant -- John Michael's? ? 
Hometown Bar & Grill -- in his hometown of Nicholasville,? ? 
Ky. The 200-seat venue will have a stage for live per-? ? 
formances and a separate area for private events.? ? 
Montgomery, who lives in Nicholasville, will also be on? ? 
hand Saturday (June 18) to greet luncheon and dinner? ? 
guests.

? ? ? ? ? ?  **** TODAY'S SPECIAL ****? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 

Strawberry Shortcut Cake

1 cup miniature marshmallows
? 2 10-oz. pkgs frozen strawberries, thawed
? 1 3-oz. pkg. strawberry Jello
? 1 White "Pudding in the Cake" mix
? Oil, water and eggs as per cake mix instructions

Heat oven to 350 F. Generously grease 13x 9 inch pan. Sprinkle marshmallows? 
over bottom of pan. In bowl, combine thawed strawberries and Jello powder and? 
set aside. In large bowl, prepare cake mix ingredients as directed on
package.?  Beat 2 minutes at highest speed. Pour batter over marshmallows in pan. Sp
oon?  strawberry mixture evenly over batter. Bake at 350F for 35 - 40 minutes or
until?  toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool completely and serve
? inverted, top with whipped cream or topping if desired.? 


**** TODAY'S USELESS FACT ****

Who is the largest individual land owner in the U.S.?

?  Mr. Ted Turner individually owns the most land in the United States.

Turner's holdings are comprise roughly 1,800,000 acres spread across half a dozen states. Compared to some of his other investments, Turner's real estate portfolio has performed admirably. Its net worth is approximately $750 million.

Collectively, the country's 10 largest landowners own 10.6 million acres. However impressive, that figures pale in comparison with federal ownership. According to the journalism research group FacsNet, the federal government owns 624 million acres, or 27 percent of the country's land.

It's worth noting that much of the federal land, especially in Nevada and the western states, isn't good for much. The CIA World Fact Book estimates that only 20 percent of American land is arable. But, hey, twenty percent of 2.3 billion acres isn't too shabby


**** WABASH VALLEY WEATHER ****
Weather Summary:
More nice weather! Thursday nigth will fair and cool. Friday will be
sunny and dry with highs in the 70`s. The weekend will stay dry and
pleasant with plenty of sunshine. It starts to warm up some next week
with highs back into the mid 80`s by early in the week and possible the
upper 80`s by the end of next week. It looks dry for the next several
days.

-- Jesse Walker

Weather Factoid:
The highst temperature ever recorded here in June was 104 degrees on
June 25th, 1988.

Thursday Night
Fair and Cool
Low 54

Friday
Mostly Sunny
High 78

Friday Night
Fair and Cool
Low 55

Saturday
Mostly Sunny
High 78
Low 55

Sunday
Mostly Sunny
High 82
Low 55

Monday
Partly Sunny
High 84
Low 62

Tuesday
Partly Sunny
High 85
Low 62

Wednesday
Partly Sunny
High 85
Low 65

Thursday
Partly Sunny
High 88
Low 65

****A PARTING THOUGHT ****

TOON TIME

LAST CALL Y'ALL
A first grade class comes in from recess.

Ms. Goldstein the teacher asks Sarah, "What did you do at recess?"

Sarah says, "I played in the sand box."

Teacher says, "That's good.?  Go to the blackboard, and if you
can write 'sand' correctly, I'll give you a fresh baked cookie."

She does and gets a cookie.

Teacher asks Morris what he did at recess.

Morris says, "I played with Sarah in the sand box."

Ms. Goldstein says, "Good.?  If you write 'box" correctly on the
blackboard, I'll give you a fresh baked cookie."

Morris does and gets a cookie.

Teacher then asks Mustaffa Abdul Mahmoud what he did at
recess.

He says, "I tried to play with Sarah and Morris, but they threw
rocks at me."

Ms. Goldstein says, "Threw rocks at you??  That sounds like blatant
inter-racial discrimination.?  If you can go the blackboard and
write 'blatant inter-racial discrimination' I'll give you a cookie."

That's all folks
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Hey, Let's be careful out there
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