TUESDAY JUNE 21,2005

Martina McBride Gives Birth
More in country music news

THOUGHT FOR TODAY:
The prime of life is that fleeting time between green and overripe.

Don't take it personally
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving
down the same road.

As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells. .

"PIG!!"

The man immediately leans out of his window and loudly replies,

"WITCH!!"

They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner,
he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road.

  Sigh! . .   If only men would listen!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Just take advantage
Well, JW finally did it??¦ He tried to
bump me off this weekend.  Very clever, that man??¦  Set it up to look
like an unfortunate gardening incident.  He was mowing the lawn while I
cleaned out the poor, neglected flowerbed.  I pulled this huge-mongous
weed that had one serious root system on it.  JW motioned eagerly for me
to toss it into his path and he would mulch it.  I said, ???Isn??™t it a
little big???? and he??™s like ???No??¦ go ahead.  Toss it in.???  I reluctantly
toss the giant aberration of nature in the path, and he graciously ran
it over.

Lo and behold, tangled up in the root system was a BIG piece of wood
mulch.  It flew from the bottom of the mower at warp speed, and instead
of shattering a window, it had to fly out and hit MY HAND.  Right
between the index and bird finger.  My hand looked like I ran up and
punched a concrete beam.  Glad I had gloves on, or it would have been a
bloody pulp.  It was all just too convenient.

After accusing him of high treason and spousal abuse, then calling my
mother to tell on him, he felt a little bad about the whole thing.  I
ended up getting all kinds of neat things I wanted for the flower garden
(including one of those fancy fountains), and lots of attention.  To the
survivor come the spoils??¦
And I milked it for all it was worth??¦
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A policeman had just finished his presentation to my young students on "safe strangers." To test the children on what they had absorbed, he showed them photographs of adults in different situations and asked, "Is this a safe stranger?"

In response to the photo of the policeman beside his squad car, they chorused, "Yes!" To the elderly lady, they shouted, "No!" To the man beside a white truck, they yelled, "No!"--except for one youngster. He insisted, "Yes!" The policeman repeated his instructions and asked the child again if he'd go with the man beside the truck. "Yes!" he insisted.

"But why would you go with him when you wouldn't go with the others?" the policeman asked.

"Because he's my dad," the boy replied.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I figured out why they call our language the "Mother Tongue." Fathers never get a chance to use much of it.
 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Recently I received a warning about the use of this politically incorrect term,

Nouvelle cuisine, roughly translated, means: I can't believe I paid eighty-five
dollars and I'm still hungry.
~~~
Our fax machine uses a roll of paper and therefore gives a curled output, annoying because it's difficult to handle. As I took another sheet from the machine, I muttered something about the inconvenience of the curled copy. Yes, a nearby co-worker noted, one should always get one's fax straight.
~~~
My colleague's kindergarten class was going for a walk, and each child was asked to pair with a buddy. One young girl quickly grabbed the hand of a bashful young fellow. He looked at her in dismay and immediately withdrew from her grasp. The son of a Ford dealer in our small Bensalem community, he exclaimed: "Oh, Shirley, I can't marry you. Your dad's a Chevy man!"
~~~
Home from his first day of school, my six-year-old son announced excitedly that he had made a new friend. "And guess what? His mom is a Spanish teacher just like you." Before I could comment, he paid my profession a great compliment when he continued, "But his dad is just a doctor."
~~~
Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby:

"Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then, fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again."
~~~
In one village in America the citizens were voting for a name for the post office. Beneath the lines on which they were to indicate their choice was the instruction, "Please write in ink." Enough voters wrote in "Ink" that it became the town's name.
~~~
Was Daddy a bashful man, Mommie?"

"Well, if he wasn't you'd be six years older."
~~~
Why do tigers live in the jungle?
   They hate city traffic.
~~~
Where do polar bears vote?
   The North Poll.
~~~
What did the limestone say to the geologist?
   Stop taking me for granite.
~~~
What should you do if you can't see at night?
   Enroll in night school.
~~~
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of shoes?
   In case he got a hole in one.
~~~
What did one wall say to the other?
   I'll meet you at the corner.
~~~
When is the moon the heaviest?
   When it is full.
~~~
How do you keep a skunk from smelling?
   Hold his nose.
~~~
What should you do every morning?
   Wake up.
~~~
Why do spiders spin webs?
   Because they can't knit.
~~~
What flowers are on your face?
   Two lips.
~~~
What's yellow and always points north?
   A magnetic banana.
~~~
What would you do if you smashed your toe?
   Call a toe truck.
~~~
How do you make a vanilla shake?
   Take it to a scary movie.
~~~
What's the difference between a bear and an ant?
   About 2,000 pounds.
~~~
What's better than a talking dog?
   A spelling bee.
~~~
What's the difference between a nickel and a dime?
   Five cents.
~~~
What looks like a horse and flies?
   A flying horse.
~~~
What kind of dog tells time?
   A watch dog.
~~~
What do you give a seasick elephant?
   Lots of room.
~~~
"Words To Live By"
??“ Some Maxine-isms sent in by Patricia
 
Having a bad day? Well, better you than me.
~~~
If you cant beat 'em, well then you're just not trying hard enough,
slacker.
~~~
Ever notice how people who tell you to calm down are the ones that got
you mad in the first place?
~~~
Happiness is where you find it. Perhaps you should look someplace else.
~~~
Start each day off on the right foot, unless you kick better with your left.
~~~
I make it a policy to never take work home with me...unless office
supplies count.
~~~
If not for stress, I'd have no energy at all.
~~~
Women don't need the remote control...we have the actual control.
~~~
Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and the
old buzzard won't be hanging around, underfoot, all weekend.
~~~
I'd eat more fruits and vegetables if they tasted more like microwaved
burritos.
~~~
"Well the big story, the Los Angeles Police Department
announced they will no longer arrest famous people who
break the law. What's the point?"
--Jay Leno
~~~
Swiped from Stan??™s Groaners??¦
by Cheezy
Tower: "Aircraft on final, go around, aircraft on runway."

Solo Student Pilot: "Roger" (Continues descent.)

Tower: "Aircraft, GO AROUND"

Student: "Roger" (Continues descent.)

Tower: (Screaming) "AIRCRAFT, GO AROUND!!"

Student: "Roger" (Continues descent.)

So, the student pilot plunks his airplane down on the numbers,
taxies up to where the twin is sitting in the middle of the runway,
GOES AROUND it, and continues on to the taxiway.

**** HEALTH NEWS ****
Kids arthritis may be overlooked  

HOUSTON, -- Researchers at Houston's Texas Children's  
Hospital warn that many children can have arthritis of  
the spine for years which can be overlooked or go un-  
treated. The study is the first national life impact  
study of this form of arthritis, and urges physicians  
and parents of such children to become more aware of  
the problem. The hospital said when kids or teens ex-  
perience aching joints and stiffness it may be arthri-  
tis of the spine and other joints known as ankylosing  
spondylitis. The researchers said the problem can often  
go undiagnosed for years and years, leading to serious  
problems in adulthood. The findings are reported in the  
June 15 issue of Arthritis Care and Research. Dr. Robert  
Warren, one of the publication authors, said: "We need  
to diagnose their illnesses early and provide appropri-  
ate medications and other therapy. With early diagnosis  
and proper treatment, a 13-year-old -- who may otherwise  
go undiagnosed -- can experience significant relief of  
symptoms and potentially minimize or avoid disease-  
related disability later in life."
~~~
Technology can kill tumor cells  

ANN ARBOR, Mich., -- The University of Michigan announced  
Wednesday its scientists they have created the nanotechnol-  
ogy to speed up the destruction of tumor cells. They said  
the technology is like the Trojan horse that can smuggle a  
powerful chemotherapeutic drug inside tumor cells. They  
said this method will increase the drug's cancer-killing  
activity while at the same time reduce its toxic side  
effects. The Michigan scientists say they have shown that  
this nanotechnology-based treatment is effective in living  
animals. "This is the first study to demonstrate a nanopar-  
ticle-targeted drug actually leaving the bloodstream, being  
concentrated in cancer cells, and having a biological  
effect on the animal's tumor," says James R. Baker Jr., who  
directed the study. The drug delivery vehicle will be a  
polymer molecule called a dendrimer. Less than five nano-  
meters in diameter, these dendrimers can slip through tiny  
openings in cell membranes. It would take 100,000 nano-  
meters lined up side-by-side to equal the diameter of a  
human hair. The results of the study will be published in  
the June 15issue of Cancer Research.
~~~
two gene variants affect kidneys  

BALTIMORE, -- Scientists at Johns Hoskins University in  
Baltimore have said two common gene variations are associ-  
ated with the risk of developing chronic kidney disease.  
The researchers, at the Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of  
Public Health, said one variant of Apolipoprotein E  
increases the risk of kidney disease, and another decreases  
the risk. The results are published in the current edition  
of JAMA. The study's authors said the e2 allele variant of  
the Apolipoprotein E gene was found to be associated with  
a moderately increased risk for chronic kidney disease.  
They also found the e4 variant offered protection against  
the development of chronic kidney disease. The e4 allele  
is also a known risk factor for Alzheimer's disease and a  
weaker risk factor for coronary heart disease, the authors  
said. The e2 allele is known to be associated with abnor-  
malities in plasma triglycerides, a condition that is also  
common with kidney disease.

**** ON THIS DAY ****

The Missing Jesus

About a week before Christmas the family bought a new nativity scene.
When they unpacked it, they found 2 figures of the Baby Jesus. "Someone
must have packed this wrong," the mother said, counting out the figures.
"We have one Joseph, one Mary, three wise men, three shepherds, two
lambs, a donkey, a cow, an angel and two babies. Oh, dear! I suppose
some set down at the store is missing a Baby Jesus because we have 2."
"You two run back down to the store and tell the manager that we have an
extra Jesus. Tell him to put a sign on the remaining boxes saying that
if a set is missing a Baby Jesus, call 7126. "Put on your warm coats,
it's freezing cold out there."
The manager of the store copied down mother's message and the next time
they were in the store they saw the cardboard sign that read, "If you're
missing Baby Jesus, call 7126."
All week long they waited for someone to call. Surely, they thought,
someone was missing that important figurine. Each time the phone rang
mother would say, "I'll bet that's about Jesus," but it never was.
Father tried to explain there are thousands of these scattered over the
country and the figurine could be missing from a set in Florida or Texas
or California. Those packing mistakes happen all the time. He suggested
just put the extra Jesus back in the box and forget about it. "Put Baby
Jesus back in the box! What a terrible thing to do", said the children.
"Surely someone will call," mother said. "We'll just keep the two of
them together in the manger until someone calls."
When no call had come by 5:00 on Christmas Eve, mother insisted that
father "just run down to the store" to see if there were any sets left.
"You can see them right through the window, over on the counter," she
said. "If they are all gone, I'll know someone is bound to call
tonight." "Run down to the store?" father thundered. "It's 15 below zero
out there!"
"Oh, Daddy, we'll go with you," Tommy and Mary began to put on their
coats. Father gave a long sigh and headed for the front closet. "I can't
believe I'm doing this," he muttered.
Tommy and Mary ran ahead as father reluctantly walked out in the cold.
Mary got to the store first and pressed her nose up to the store window.
"They are all gone, Daddy," she shouted. "Every set must be sold."
"Hooray," Tommy said "The mystery will now be solved tonight!" Father
heard the news still a half block away and immediately turned on his
heel and headed back home. When they got back into the house they
noticed that mother was gone and so was the extra Baby Jesus figurine.
"Someone must have called and she went out to deliver the figurine," my
father reasoned, pulling off his boots. "You kids get ready for bed
while I wrap mother's present."
Then the phone rang. Father yelled "answer the phone and tell'em we
found a home for Jesus." But it was mother calling with instructions for
us to come to 205 Chestnut Street immediately, and bring three blankets,
a box of cookies and some milk.
"Now what has she gotten us into?" my father groaned as we bundled up
again. "205 Chestnut. Why that's across town. Wrap that milk up good in
the blankets or it will turn to ice before we get there. Why can't we
all just get on with Christmas? It's probably 20 below out there now.
The wind is picking up. Of all the crazy things to do on a night like
this."
When they got to the house at 205 Chestnut Street it was the darkest one
on the block. Only one tiny light burned in the living room and, the
moment we set foot on the porch steps, my mother opened the door and
shouted, "They're here, Oh thank God you got here, Ray! You kids take
those blankets into the living room and wrap up the little ones on the
couch. I'll take the milk and cookies."
"Would you mind telling me what is going on, Ethel?" my father asked.
"We have just walked through below zero weather with the wind in our
faces all the way." "Never mind all that now," my mother interrupted.
"There is no heat in this house and this young mother is so upset she
doesn't know what to do. Her husband walked out on her and those poor
little children will have a very bleak Christmas, so don't you complain.
I told her you could fix that oil furnace in a jiffy."
My mother strode off to the kitchen to warm the milk while my brother
and I wrapped up the five little children who were huddled together on
the couch. The children's mother explained to my father that her husband
had run off, taking bedding, clothing, and almost every piece of
furniture, but she had been doing all right until the furnace broke
down.
"I been doing washing and ironing for people and cleaning the five and
dime," she said. "I saw your number every day there, on those boxes on
the counter. When the furnace went out, that number kept going through
my mind, 7162 7162, that is what it said on the box. If a person is
missing Jesus, they should call 7162 7162. That's how I knew you were
good Christian people, willing to help folks. I figured that maybe you
would help me, too. So I stopped at the grocery store tonight and I
called your miss's. I'm not missing Jesus, mister, because I sure love
the Lord. But I am missing heat. I have no money to fix that furnace."
"Okay, Okay!" said father. "You've come to the right place. Now let's
see. You've got a little oil burner over there in the dining room.
Shouldn't be too hard to fix. Probably just a clogged flue. I'll look it
over, see what it needs."
Mother came into the living room carrying a plate of cookies and warm
milk. As she set the cups down on the coffee table, I noticed the figure
of Baby Jesus lying in the center of the table. It was the only sign of
Christmas in the house. The children stared wide-eyed with wonder at the
plate of cookies my mother set before them.
Father finally got the oil burner working but said you need more oil.
I'll make a few calls tonight and get some oil. Yes, sir, you came to
the right place, father grinned.
On the way home father did not complain about the cold weather and had
barely set foot inside the door when he was on the phone.
"Ed, hey, how are ya, Ed?" "Yes, Merry Christmas to you, too. Say Ed, we
have kind of an unusual situation here. I know you've got that pickup
truck. Do you still have some oil in that barrel on your truck? You do?"
By this time the rest of the family were pulling clothes out of their
closets and toys off of their shelves. It was long after their bedtime
when they were wrapping gifts. The pickup came. On it were chairs, three
lamps, blankets and gifts. Even though it was 30 below, father let them
ride along in the back of the truck.
No one ever did call about the missing figure in the nativity set, but
as I grow older I realize that it wasn't a packing mistake at all.

Author Unknown
~~~

Provided by Bill Morrison at www.rockabillyhall.com/billmorrison.html

ON THIS DATE, COUNTRY MUSIC??™S TOP TUNES WERE:

 1948         Texarkana Baby - Eddy Arnold

1956         Crazy Arms - Ray Price

1964         Together Again - Buck Owens

1972        The Happiest Girl in the Whole U.S.A. - Donna Fargo

1980        One Day at a Time - Cristy Lane

1988        I Told You So - Randy Travis

 

 **** COUNTRY MUSIC NEWS ****
Martina McBride Gives Birth

3rd Daughter for McBride

Martina McBride and her husband, John, have a new addition to the family. Ava Rose Kathleen McBride was born at 2:25 p.m. Monday, weighing 7 pounds, 7 ounces, according to McBride's publicist, Kathy Best. Both Ava and the 38-year-old McBride were doing well, according to the singer's Web site.

The McBrides have two other children, daughters Delaney, 10, and Emma, 7.

Martina McBride's Website

Wanda Jackson Honored by NEA  

Rockabilly queen Wanda Jackson, old-time music preserva-  
tionist Janette Carter, Cajun fiddler Michael Doucet and  
gospel singer Albertina Walker are among 12 recipients  
of the National Endowment for the Arts' 2005 National  
Heritage Fellowships. Each fellowship includes a one-time  
award of $20,000 presented to honorees chosen for their  
artistic excellence, cultural authenticity and contribu-  
tions to their field. This year's recipients represent a  
wide variety of talents, including Navajo weaving,  
Hawaiian chanting and Mexican American paper cutting.  
Carter, daughter of original Carter Family founders A.P.  
and Sara Carter, will also receive the Bess Lomax Hawes  
award in recognition of her lifelong advocacy for the  
performance and preservation of traditional Appalachian  
music. Doucet, a master musician and folklorist, leads  
the popular Cajun band, BeauSoleil.
~~~
Larsen to Open for Chesney  

Blaine Larsen will open for Kenny Chesney on June 25 in  
Tacoma, Wash., near Larsen's hometown of Buckley, Wash.  
This will be Larsen's first time to play an arena show.  
His math teacher from high school, who wrote a track on  
Larsen's latest album, will sit in on guitar. Larsen  
will also perform at Chesney's stadium concert near  
Boston on July 23. The newcomer's hits include "How Do  
You Get That Lonely" and "The Best Man."
~~~

June 20, 2005: Martina McBride is getting the Barbie treatment.
The Martina McBride doll, available in July, was created in her likeness and features a re-creation of the gown she wore to the 39th Annual Academy of Country Music Awards, where she was named Top Female Vocalist for the third consecutive year.
The doll is accessorized with silvery chandelier earrings and strappy shoes. The Martina McBride doll also comes with a collectible poster and a bracelet.
The Martina McBride doll retails for $19.99 and is available at Toys R' Us and other retailers.
"Having been a fan of Barbie(r) doll since I was a little girl, it's incredible to actually have a Barbie(r) created in my likeness," said McBride. "I hope both my fans and fans of Barbie(r) dolls everywhere will be as excited as I am!"

       **** TODAY'S SPECIAL ****        

Philly Cheese Steak Sandwich Recipe

2 tablespoons olive oil
2 large yellow onions, thinly sliced
2 large portobello mushrooms, thinly sliced
1 1/2 teaspoon salt
1 pound trimmed flank steak, sliced as thin; ly as possible 1/2
teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1 1/2 cup grated pepper jack cheese
2 soft-crusted long baguettes or 4 Italian-style hoagie rolls

Preheat the oven to 400F. Heat the oil in a large saut?© pan set over
medium-high heat. Add the onions and cook until soft, about 5
minutes. Add the mushrooms and 1 teaspoon of the salt and saut?© until
tender, about 5 minutes. Add the flank steak and the remaining 1/2
teaspoon salt and pepper and saut?© until the meat is cooked through
about 5 minutes more. Remove the pan from the heat. Sprinkle the
cheese over the top, cover the pan, and let sit until the cheese
melts, about 5 minutes.. Meanwhile, slice the baguettes lengthwise.
Place cut sides up on a baking sheet, and toast in the oven until
crisp, 4 to 5 minutes. Fill the baguettes with the meat and cheese.
Cut into 4 portions. Serve immediately.
& 

CREAM CHEESE DIP FOR FRESH FRUITS   
 

4 ounces cream cheese  
2 tablespoons cream  
3 teaspoons honey  
3/4 teaspoon vanilla  
1/16 teaspoon nutmeg  
1/16 teaspoon cinnamon  
3 teaspoons fresh lemon juice  
2 tablespoons diced toasted almonds  

DIRECTIONS:  
Blend together all ingredients except almonds. Chill.  
When ready to serve place dip in small bowl. Top with  
almonds. Place bowl on plate and surround with assorted  
fruits such as banana slices, melon cubes, grapes,  
strawberries and peach or nectarine slices. 
Yield: Serving for 2  

**** TODAY'S USELESS FACT ****

I'm getting married. Who's supposed to pay for what?

 Back when marriage meant a woman was moving directly out of her parents' home and in with her new husband, the bride's family paid the bulk of wedding expenses. But these days, wedding costs are split more equitably.

According to Modern Bride magazine, over 60 percent of American couples now contribute to their own wedding costs. It's increasingly common to split the expenses equally between the bride's parents, the groom's parents, and the happy couple.

Most sources agree that traditionally, the bride's family pays for the majority of the ceremony and reception, while the groom's family hosts a rehearsal dinner and picks up the honeymoon tab. The groom himself buys the bride's engagement and wedding rings (which, if he follows the famed two-month salary guideline, is no small amount), and handles many side expenses.

As far as the supporting cast goes, wedding attendants are typically responsible for buying (or renting) their own outfits. The bridesmaids traditionally pay for the bridal shower, while the groomsmen pay for the bachelor party. Some sources say the bride and groom each pay for the lodging of their out-of-town attendants.

Finally, everybody pays for their own gifts to the couple. In return, the couple pays for their gifts to the wedding party and each other.


**** WABASH VALLEY WEATHER ****
Weather Summary:
It will start warming up the next few days. Monday nigth will be fair
and mild with a low near 60. Tuesday will be a little warmer with a high
in the mid 80`s. Wednesday a weak front may spark a few storms and it
will be very warm and more humid with highs in the upper 80`s. By
Friday, highs could be in the low 90`s (the highs so far this year). The
heat will hold for the weekend and only low chances of storms with the
heat.

-- Jesse Walker

Weather Factoid:
The highest temperature so far this year here at NewsChannel 2 has been
90 degrees. It may go above that by Friday!

Monday Night
Fair and Mild
Low 60

Tuesday
Mostly Sunny
High 86

Tuesday Night
Partly Cloudy
Low 65

Wednesday
30% Ch. Of Storms
High 88
Low 65

Thursday
Partly Sunny
High 88
Low 64

Friday
Partly Sunny
High 92
Low 68

Saturday
Partly Sunny
High 92
Low 70

Sunday
Partly Sunny
High 90
Low 70

Monday
Partly Sunny
High 90
Low 70


****A PARTING THOUGHT ****
If you add five new words a month to your vocabulary, by the end
of the year, your friends will wonder who you think you are.

TOON TIME
Bellies
http://www.buffaloschips.com/31812.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/31812.htm ">  Here!</a>

Gas Prices
http://www.buffaloschips.com/31811.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/31811.htm ">  Here!</a>

Shape
http://www.buffaloschips.com/31810.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/31810.htm ">  Here!</a>

Finger In The Eye...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200402/020.htm
<a href="http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200402/020.htm"> Here </a>

Reason To Buy A Warranty...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200402/021.htm
<a href="http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200402/021.htm"> Here </a>

It's For YOU, Mom!
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny92.html
<a href="http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny92.html">Here!</a>

Dead Wood
http://www.buffaloschips.com/31809.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/31809.htm ">  Here!</a>

One Way To Look At Things
http://www.buffaloschips.com/31808.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/31808.htm ">  Here!</a>

Vampire Community
http://www.buffaloschips.com/31807.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/31807.htm ">  Here!</a>

Crouching Tiger Hidden Waldo...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200402/016.htm
<a href="http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200402/016.htm"> Here </a>

Le Couteau Fran?§ais D'Arm?©e...
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200402/017.htm
<a href="http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200402/017.htm"> Here </a>

Missing E-Mails...
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny93.html
<a href="http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny93.html">Here!</a>


LAST CALL Y'ALL
As the crowded airliner is about to take off, the peace is shattered by
a five-year-old boy who picks that moment to throw a wild temper
tantrum. No matter what his frustrated, embarrassed mother does to try
to calm him down the boy continues to scream furiously and kick the
seats around him.

Suddenly, from the rear of the plane, a man in a U.S. Marine Corps
uniform is seen slowly walking forward up the aisle. Stopping the
flustered mother with an upraised hand, the courtly, soft-spoken Marine
leans down and, motioning toward his chest, whispers something into the
boy's ear.

Instantly, the boy calms down, gently takes his mother's hand, and
quietly fastens his seat belt. All the other passengers burst into
spontaneous applause. As the Marine slowly makes his way back to his
seat, one of the cabin attendants touches his sleeve.

"Excuse me, sir," she ask quietly, "but could I ask you what magic words
you used on that little boy?"

The Marine smiles serenely and gently confides, "I showed him my pilot's
wings, service stars, and battle ribbons, and explained that they
entitle me to throw one passenger out the plane door, on any flight I
choose, and that I was just about to make my selection for this flight."



That's all folks
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hey, Let's be careful out there
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
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