If ya don't like the music, Just turn it off 
V

From Carlisle ,Indiana
Welcome to  
The Almost Daily Funnies

Welcome New Subscribers
Anyone without a sense of humor is at the mercy
of the rest of us. Heaven Help Them

Dear Pastor

Dear Pastor, I know God loves everybody but He never met my sister.
Yours sincerely, Arnold. Age 8, Nashville.

Dear Pastor, Please say in your sermon that Peter Peterson has been a
good boy all week. I am Peter Peterson.
Sincerely, Pete. Age 9, Phoenix

Dear Pastor, My father should be a minister. Every day he gives us a
sermon about something.
Robert Anderson, age 11

Dear Pastor, I'm sorry I can't leave more money in the plate, but my
father didn't give me a raise in my allowance. Could you have a sermon
about a raise in my allowance?
Love, Patty. Age 10, New Haven

Dear Pastor, My mother is very religious. She goes to play bingo at
church every week even if she has a cold.
Yours truly, Annette. Age 9, Albany

Dear Pastor, I would like to go to heaven someday because I know my
brother won't be there.
Stephen. Age 8, Chicago

Dear Pastor, I think a lot more people would come to your church if you
moved it to Disneyland.
Loreen. Age 9, Tacoma

Dear Pastor, I liked your sermon where you said that good health is more
important than money but I still want a raise in my allowance.
Sincerely, Eleanor. Age 12, Sarasota

Dear Pastor, Please pray for all the airline pilots. I am flying to
California tomorrow.
Laurie. Age 10, New York City

Dear Pastor, I hope to go to heaven some day but later than sooner.
Love, Ellen, age 9, Athens

Dear Pastor, Please say a prayer for our Little League team. We need
God's help or a new pitcher. Thank you.
Alexander. Age 10, Raleigh

Dear Pastor, My father says I should learn the Ten Commandments. But I
don't think I want to because we have enough rules already in my house.
Joshua. Age 10, South Pasadena

Dear Pastor, Who does God pray to? Is there a God for God?
Sincerely, Christopher. Age 9, Titusville

Dear Pastor, Are there any devils on earth? I think there may be one in
my class.
Carla. Age 10, Salina

Dear Pastor, I liked your sermon on Sunday. Especially when it was
finished.
Ralph, Age 11, Akron

Dear Pastor, How does God know the good people from the bad people? Do
you tell Him or does He read about it in the newspapers?
Sincerely, Marie. Age 9, Lewiston

**** Quickies ****

This morning while she was getting dressed, she insisted on wearing a skirt under her dress. I tried in vain to talk her out of it. Since she's never worn the two together before, I asked her where she got the idea of wearing the skirt with the dress.

She said during graduation practice, one of the teachers said "Girls will wear dresses and skirts."
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Shirley's ressypees e-zine
We do take requests!! If you are looking for any particular recipe,
send your request to: mailto:bigguyhereagain@cogeco.ca

**** Visiting Doc Taz M.D.  D.V.M. ****
Doctor's Writing

Did you hear about the doctor who wrote out a prescription in the
usual doctor's fashion?

The patient used it for two years as a railroad pass.

Twice it got him into Radio City Music Hall, and once into Yankee
Stadium.

It came in handy as a letter from his employer to the cashier to
increase his salary.

And to top it off, his daughter played it on the piano and won a
scholarship to the Curtis Music Conservatory.

**** HEALTH NEWS ****
Botox May Help Migraine Patients

WebMD) Botox may cut the number of migraine headaches in some patients.

That's what researchers told members of the American Headache Society at their annual meeting in Philadelphia.

Botox is famous for smoothing out wrinkles. The new study shows that its effects may be more than skin deep.

The study looked at a specific group of migraine patients -- those with frequent attacks who normally would require daily preventative medications.

There are about 6 million people in the U.S. with that problem, or about 2% of U.S. migraine patients, says researcher David Dodick, MD.

Dodick works at the Mayo Clinic in Scottsdale, Ariz. He spoke about the study in a media teleconference.

Botox Study

Dodick's team studied 288 migraine sufferers. On average, they had headaches on 13.5 days of the month. They were about 42 years old; most were women.

Participants weren't taking any medications to prevent those migraines from occurring, says Dodick.

Some patients got three treatments of Botox, spread over 11 months. The others got placebo injections. After 180 days, the Botox group had a bigger jump in headache free days.

They had headaches on 7.5 days per month, on average. That's six more headache-free days than at the study's start.

Headache-free days also rose in the placebo group, but not as much. They had 4.5 more headache-free days per month, the researchers report.

By the study's end, headache frequency was cut by more than half in about 52% of the Botox group, says Dodick.

Side Effects

Botox was "very well tolerated," says Dodick. Side effects were usually mild and brief. They included neck weakness and neck pain.

"Weakness is certainly a recognized side effect of Botox," says Dodick. He says the neck pain probably came from the injections, which were mainly done in the forehead, temple, and muscles at the back of the head and neck.

Migraines can occur because of trigger points, like muscles contracting around nerves, which set off a series of events leading to migraine pain.

The treatment appears to prevent activation of a facial nerve, which is very important in migraines, he writes in a news release.

More Trials Ahead

Botox isn't used to prevent migraines right now. More trials are slated to begin this fall and early next year.

Dodick says he hopes results from those trials will be available in late 2006 or early 2007.

SOURCES: American Headache Society's 47th Annual Scientific Meeting, Philadelphia, June 23-26, 2005. David Dodick, MD, Mayo Clinic, Scottsdale, Ariz. News release, American Headache Society.

Reducing the fat content in meat and poultry dishes:
=
Cook chicken and turkey with the skin on to keep it moister and more
flavorful. Remove the skin after cooking.
=
When a recipe directs you to saut?© meat in butter or oil, use wine
instead. Or, cook the meat in broth or tomato juice.
=
Replace stuffings and breaded toppings or coatings with herbs and
spices.
=
When broiling, roasting or baking meat or a meatloaf, use a rack to
catch the fat drainage so the meat doesn*t sit in fat.
=
Baste meats with juice, wine or broth instead of butter or other fats.
=
If possible, cook stews and soups in advance then refrigerate and skim
the fat off the top before reheating.
=
Replace a portion of the meat in a recipe with beans, grains, or
vegetables.
=
Use low-fat 1 or 2% milk when a recipe calls for milk.
=
Try low-fat or nonfat sour cream, yogurts, cream cheese, and cottage
cheese in recipes calling for them.
=
If a recipe calls for cream, try replacing all or part of it with
evaporated skim milk or a milk alternative.
=
Combine low-fat grated cheeses with wheat germ or whole-wheat bread
crumbs as toppings for casseroles.
=
Experiment with reduced-fat cheeses.
=
Use fat-free or reduced-fat cream cheese or a fruit spread on your toast
instead of butter.
=
Use egg whites or egg substitutes in place of whole eggs.
=
Try butter substitutes on your vegetables instead of butter or
margarine. Try various butter-flavored sprays until you find one you
like
=
Use yogurt cheese in recipes calling for cream cheese.
=
Learn to love cooking spray. Use Pam or other vegetable cooking sprays
in place of oil whenever possible. A light mist is all you need to keep
foods from sticking. Several brands have now added canola and olive oil
sprays that add a slight flavor to your foods.
=
Non-stick pans are great and require little or no oil for cooking.
Invest in a good non-stick skillet; it will be well worth your money.
=
Stir-fry your vegetables in low-sodium or homemade broth. Chicken, beef
or vegetable broth give your vegetables a great flavor, and using broth
instead of oil really cuts down on the fat.
=
Boil, broil or bake instead of frying.
=
When baking, always use a pre-heated oven, it will help to seal in
moisture and flavor.
=
Always remove the skin from your poultry and trim the fat from your
meats.
=
Leaner meats are often "tougher" than fattier cuts. Use marinades to
tenderize your flank steaks. Red wine vinegar, crushed garlic, lime and
fresh ginger make a fabulous marinade. Just put a trimmed flank steak in
a zipper bag, add the marinade, then keep in your refrigerator for a few
hrs. Broil or grill for a delicious addition to your table.
=
Steaming vegetables is a quick, healthy way to cook vegetables. Use a
metal steamer on top of the stove or steam in the microwave with a small
amount of water and a dish covered with plastic wrap.
=
Use non-fat yogurt to add moisture to dishes.
=
Use applesauce in place of all or part of the oil in baking recipes.
=
Use fresh herbs whenever possible. Use a mortar and pestle to grind them
for the freshest and fullest flavor.
=
Grate fresh ginger with a flat, sheet-type grater. Use a food processor
to grate fresh horseradish fresh packs a lot more punch than the salted,
bottled kind.
=
Add dried herbs such as thyme, rosemary and marjoram to dishes for a
more pungent flavor, but use them sparingly.
=
Use citrus zest, the colored part of the peel without the pith. It holds
the true flavor of the fruit. Grate it with a flat, sheet-type grater or
remove it with a vegetable peeler and cut the pieces into thin strips.
=
Toast seeds, nuts and whole spices to bring out their full flavor. Cook
them in a dry skillet over moderate heat or on a baking sheet in a 400
degree Fahrenheit oven.
=
Roasting vegetables in a hot oven will caramelize their natural sugars
and bring out their full flavor.
=
Use vinegar or citrus juice for a wonderful flavor-enhancer, but add it
at the last moment. Vinegar is great on vegetables such as greens, and
citrus works well on fruits such as melons. Either is great with fish.
=
Use dry mustard for a zesty flavor in cooking or mix it with water to
make a very sharp condiment.
=
For a little more "bite" to your dishes, add fresh hot peppers. Remove
the membrane and the seeds before finely chopping. And remember: a small
amount goes a long way!
=
Some vegetables and fruits, such as mushrooms, tomatoes, chili peppers,
cherries, cranberries and currants, have a more intense flavor when
dried than when fresh. Use them when you want a burst of flavor. Plus,
there*s an added bonus: when they*re soaked in water and reconstituted,
you can use the flavored water in cooking

LAUNDRY TIPS

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Thoughts or Comments
jokes or stories
U Send'em and I'll print'em
Just keep it clean.A lota kids read this
jim4615@earthlink.net
Subject Line--- The Funnies/HEY LOOK
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 **** MOTOR SPORTS NEWS ****
Gordon makes 24 No. 1

Setzer keeps on truckin'

Pilots Chevrolet to truck victory at Milwaukee Mile.

Story

Penske's clean sweep

Hornish Jr. and Helio Castroneves take front row at Richmond.

Story

New site for NASCAR

The 80,000-seat racetrack to be built west of Seattle.

Story

~~~
Sweet Potato Salad  
 
4 cups sweet potatoes, cooked and diced
1 can (20 ox) pineapple chunks,  drained
10 -1/2 oz miniature marshmallows
4 red delicious apples,  chopped
1/2 cup flaked coconuts
1/2 cup chopped walnuts
1  small  container cool whip, thawed
3/4 cup mayonnaise

In a large bowl,  gently toss first 6 ingredients.
Combine whipped topping and mayonnaise,  fold
into fruit mixture. Cover and chill at least 1 hour.

Makes 32 servings
~~~       
Pineapple Pudding Cake 

1 yellow cake mix
1 large box of vanilla pudding
1 can  of crushed pineapple-drained
1  small container of frozen whipped  topping, thawed 
Bake the cake according to the instructions, using a 9 x 13 pan. Cool the 
cake completely. Poke holes with the handle of a wooden spoon around the top of 
the cake. Mix the pudding according to the box instructions and pour over the
 cake. Spread the well drained pineapple over the pudding. Top with the
whipped  topping. Notes: You can use sugar free pudding and light whipped topping
if you  wish.
~~~

BERRY SALAD WITH YOGURT DRESSING  

1 cup vanilla yogurt  
1/4 cup honey  
1 1/2 tablespoons milk (to thin out dressing)  
cinnamon and nutmeg to taste  
1 1/3 cups Strawberries  
1 1/3 cups blueberries  
1 1/3 cups rasberries  
fresh peppermint leaves, finely chopped  

DIRECTIONS:  
Wash, stem and sort berries. In a small bowl combine yogurt  
and honey and whisk together. Add cinnamon and nutmeg and  
whisk until well incorporated. Add milk to thin down. Place  
berries in serving bowls and drizzle the yogurt dressing  
over the top. Garnish with mint and serve immediately.
   
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   TIP FOR FREEZING BERRIES:  

Here's a great tip for how to freezing the extra berries  
individually:  

Spread them on cookie sheets, not touching, and freeze.  
Then transfer quickly to self-sealing plastic bags and  
return to freezer.   

 
**** TODAY'S USELESS FACT ****