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The Almost Daily Funnies
"Friends are God's way of taking care of
us."
These
are clean jokes. However,
They are
PG - Not intended for younger
readers - PG
Welcome New
Subscribers
Anyone without a sense
of humor is at the mercy
of the rest of us. Heaven Help
Them
WEDNESDAY AUGUST 03,2005
THOUGHT FOR TODAY:The first
thing a child learns
when he gets a drum is that he's never getting another
one.
A father and his four-year-old son were raking
leaves in the yard of their farmhouse when a flock of geese flew over. The
father pointed out how they flew in a formation like a V. The child watched them
silently as they disappeared over the horizon. Then turning to his father, he
asked, "Do those geese know any other
letters?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An inquisitive cat managed to get itself trapped
beneath the eaves of Connie's roof. Not knowing how to rescue it, Connie called
the SPCA for assistance. When the man from the shelter arrived, he tried to
reach the cat by entering the attic through a bedroom closet. As he crawled
towards the yowling feline, he lost his footing and fell into a network of
electrical wiring. His floundering boots shattered the plaster of the ceiling,
and a thick cloud of insulation poured down into the bedroom.
The man
eventually extricated himself, whereupon Connie's husband decided to have a go
at recovering the wretched cat. Attempting to hoist himself through the ceiling,
he snapped the clothes rod in two--sending dozens of suits and dresses cascading
onto the floor.
Connie and her husband abandoned the rescue mission and
began a frantic search for the animal's owner. At last, a neighbor who said the
cat might belong to him was brought to the scene of destruction. "Here, kitty!"
he called, just once. Instantly the cat materialized in the gaping hole of the
ceiling and sprang happily into its owners outstretched
arms.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hmmmmmmm........
Often my Aunt Brenda's
students finish their assignments at the last minute. On one occasion when a
research paper was due, a student came to her at the beginning of class. "I just
wanted to let you know that you'll be getting my research paper later today," he
explained. "My mom is faxing it from her
office."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My boss often misplaces his reading glasses. Once
the gas station owner returned what he thought were Robert's glasses. The
unusual brown leather case was identical, but the specs belonged to someone
else. Robert was sure that this time the glasses had fallen out of his pocket
while he was near the bank in a town about 5 miles away. He phoned the bank, and
an extremely nice employee agreed to go out in the cold and look. She had no
luck.
Robert decided to go into town himself and search from store to
store. Luckily some passer-by had found them and turned them in. Robert went to
the bank to thank the lady who had gone out of her way to help. He held up the
leather case and said, "I found my glasses."
She looked amazed and
replied: "But those are my husband's glasses. He lost them last
week."
"No they're not," Robert said with a grin. "But I think I know
where they are."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jim was having reasonable success playing the stock
market when George expressed a desire to give it a try. Jim advised him on what
stocks to buy, what to stay clear of, etc. In his list of "pointers" was the
fact that George should invest only small sums.
But George threw caution
to the winds and six months later sent an email to Jim, "So much for your darn
"pointers! Now send me some
"retrievers!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A porter loaded down with suitcases, followed the
couple to the airline check-in counter.
As they approached the line, the
husband glanced at the pile of luggage and said to the wife,
"Why didn't
you bring the piano, too?"
"Are you trying to be funny or sarcastic?" she
replied.
"No, I really wish you had. . . our tickets were on top of
it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When signing a contract, it helps to remember "the
big-type gives,
and the small-type takes
away".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
During a magazine and newspaper
subscription drive, our son Philip,
a paperboy, learned about good
salesmanship.
His supervisor had instructed the kids to maintain a
positive
attitude, even when turned down. One potential customer
told
Philip, "I've got papers and magazines strewn all over the place --
I
don't need any more."
Philip's reply? "Well, how about a subscription to
Good
Housekeeping?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HOUSEKEEPING
101
My son, Dwayne, loved his small keyboard so much he decided to
take it to school for show-and-tell. When I hadn't seen it around the house for
a couple of days, I asked him where it was. "I lost it," he replied. I told him
to ask at the school office and his teachers if it had been turned in. When it
hadn't, I contacted the school myself. The principal assured me that a thorough
search would be made throughout the school and the grounds checked. A few days
later Dwayne returned with his keyboard. When I asked where it had been, he
replied, "In my desk."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On a visit
to Boston, I noticed a parking meter with a paper sack
over it that said:
"Broken." A skeptical parking officer removed
the bag, inserted a quarter in
the meter and turned the dial. It
worked perfectly.
As the officer
began to write a parking ticket, the car's owner
rushed out of a nearby
building. "What are you doing?" he yelled
after a quick glance at the
meter. "There's plenty of time left!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On his
first visit to the zoo, a little boy stared at the caged
stork for a long
time. He waved, jumped up and down, and stared
at the stork a while
longer.
Finally, turning to his father, he exclaimed, "Gee, Dad, he
doesn't
recognize me."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While I was driving my
daughter home from kindergarten, Melody Raye
started trying to get me to look
at the numerous crayon drawings
she'd made that day. After trying to keep the
car between the
ditches while looking at the drawings, I told her I would
look
at the rest later because right now I had to watch the road.
She
immediately put a drawing in front of my face and said, "You
look,
Daddy; I'll watch the road for you."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When
our grandchildren were visiting late last summer, they went
out to catch
lightning bugs one night. As 3-year-old Carl put
one in a jar, he looked up
at me and asked, "Grandma, what size
batteries do these bugs
take?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While I was working as a pediatric nurse, I
had the difficult
assignment of giving immunization shots to children.
One day I
entered the examining room to give four-year-old Lizzie her
shot.
"NO! NO! NO!" she screamed.
"Lizzie," her mother
scolded. "That's not polite behavior."
At that, the girl yelled
even louder, "NO, THANK YOU! NO,
THANK
YOU!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One of my students could not take
my college seminar final exam
because of a funeral. "No problem," I told him,
"Make it up the
following week."
That week came, and again he couldn't
take the test due to another
funeral.
"You'll have to take the test
early next week," I insisted. "I
can't keep postponing it."
"I'll take
the test next week if no one dies," he told me.
By now I was suspicious.
"How can you have so many people you know
pass away in three weeks?" I
asked.
"I don't know any of these people," he said, "I'm the
only
gravedigger in
town."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BARNEY???
Because I couldn't
unplug the toilet with a plunger, I had to
dismantle the entire fixture, no
small feat for a non- plumber.
Jammed inside the drain was a purple
rubber dinosaur, which belonged
to my five-year-old son.
I
painstakingly got all the toilet parts together again, the tank
filled, and I
flushed it. However, it didn't work much better
than before! As I
pondered what to do next, my son walked into
the bathroom.
I pointed
to the purple dinosaur I had just dislodged and told
him that the toilet
still wasn't working.
"Did you get the green one, too?" he
asked.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The oldest bank robber in the United States, a
ninety-two-year-old
man in Texas, has been sentenced to twelve years in
prison.
This is what scares me about our prison system.
You know
with good behavior he could be out and back on the streets
by the time he's
ninety-eight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Catholic priest I once knew
went to the hospital to visit
patients. Stopping at the nurse's
station, he carefully looked
over the patient roster and jotted down the room
number of everyone
who had "Cath" written boldly next to his name. That, he
told me,
was a big mistake. When I asked why, he replied, "It was
only
after I had made the rounds that I learned they were all
patients
with catheters."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Even though John Bolton
has viciously criticized the United Nations
in the past, President Bush has
used a recess appointment to make
him U.S. Ambassador to the UN. But by going
to work everyday to
a place that he absolutely hates, Bolton will become just
like
every other American
employee.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
President Bush has bypassed Congress and
appointed John Bolton as UN
ambassador. The seasoned bureaucrat speaks three
languages. English,
Spanish, and
abusive.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Senator Doctor Bill Frist reversed an earlier
pronouncement - or,
"Flip-Flopped," in political parlance - and decided to
back a Stem
Cell Research bill against President Bush's wishes; a staff
aide
brushed aside the rumor that the senator was intending to grow a
new
spine for himself if the research proved
fruitful.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This guy is filling out an
employee form when he comes
to the section that asks: Single____ Married____
Divorced____
After a moment's thought, he writes, "Yes. In
that
order."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The death rate from car crashes went down for
the
second straight year in 2004. Fewer people are dying
while driving
because they're getting fatal heart
attacks when they see the prices at the
gas station.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There is some truth to
this.
Q. When is a retiree's bedtime?
A. Three hours after he
falls asleep on the couch.
Q. How many retirees to change a light
bulb?
A. Only one, but it might take all day.
Q. What's the biggest
gripe of retirees?
A. There is not enough time to get everything
done.
Q. Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
A. The term
comes with a 10% percent discount.
Q. Among retirees what is considered
formal attire?
A. Tied shoes.
Q. Why do retirees count pennies?
A.
They are the only ones who have the time.
Q. What is the best way to
describe retirement?
A. The never ending Coffee Break.
Q. Why does a
retiree often say he doesn't miss work,
but misses the people he used
to work with?
A. He is too polite to tell the whole
truth
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An RCMP (Royal
Canadian Mounted Police) officer stopped to help a
stranded rider standing
beside a stalled motorcycle in the mountains.
It was extremely cold, and
the rider was heavily dressed
in a helmet, balaclava and snowmobile
suit.
In a muffled voice, the rider told the Mountie that the
carburetor was frozen.
A motorcyclist himself, the Mountie remembered
an old trick
for just such an occasion. "Try peeing on it," the
Mountie
said, "That should unfreeze it."
"Can't," replied the
rider.
So the helpful Mountie took out his own equipment and
liberally
hosed down the carburetor, and the bike soon fired up.
A few
days later, the local department received a thank you note
from a father,
grateful for the roadside assistance his young
daughter had received from the
RCMP.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Barry who is noted for his
tact was awakened one morning at four
o'clock by his ringing
telephone.
"Your dog's barking, and it's keeping me awake," said an
irate
voice.
The man thanked the caller and politely asked his name
before
hanging up.
The next morning at four o'clock, Barry called back
his neighbor.
"Sir," he said, "I don't have a
dog."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A blonde walks by a travel agency and notices a sign in the
window,
"Cruise Special -- $99!". She goes inside, lays her money on
the
counter and says, "I'd like the $99 cruise special, please."
The
agent grabs her, drags her into the back room, ties her to a
large inner
tube, then drags her out the back door and downhill to
the Muskegon River,
where he pushes her in and sends her floating.
A second blonde comes by a
few minutes later, sees the sign,
goes inside, lays her money on the counter,
and asks for the $99
special. She too is tied to an inner tube and sent
floating down
the river.
Drifting into stronger current, she
eventually catches up with
the first blonde. They float side by side for a
while before the
first blonde asks, "Do they serve refreshments on this
cruise?
The second blonde replies, " They didn't last
year."
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****
WEIRD HAPPENINS ****
GM Makes Delicious New
Partnership
AUSTIN, Minn. - In addition to factory air and leather
bucket
seats, your new GM automobile will also likely include
pork
shoulders. This is the result of a recent partnership
between
General Motors Corp. and Hormel, the company that makes
Spam.
The glue that holds this partnership together is a
miracle
binding agent made from pork and turkey byproducts. The
animal
protein collagen extracted from these byproducts is ideal
for
creating the sand molds used to caste metal parts. In the
past,
said Hormel president Joel Johnson, toxic chemicals have
been
used to bind sand to create molds. The sand they bind is
not
recyclable, and this presents a "severe pollution
problem."
The new GMBond is an alternative to those
chemicals.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mind Control
Foiled By Aluminum Beanie
All of the victims of cranium
invasion can finally put their
minds at ease. A non-commercial
internet site has devoted its
time and effort to developing a
beanie that can stop a person
from having his or her brain
invaded. The product is an
Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie
(AFDB), which reportedly is a
type of head-wear that can shield
your brain from most electro-
magnetic psychotronic mind-control
carriers. The site provides
plans and photographs on how to make
a beanie, entirely from
foil, that wards off mind-control
signals.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gun Trouble Leads Indiana
Man to the Ultimate Face-Off
JAY COUNTY, Indiana - A
19-year-old Indiana man entered a
"Face-Off" with a loaded
firearm and lost. After having
apparent trouble firing the gun,
Gregory David Pryor decided
to look down the barrel to find the
source of the problem.
Apparently it was just a user error,
because the gun fired
and shot him in the
face.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mugger Makes A Spec-tacle
With Eyeglass Fetish
A mugger could have been suffering
from "optical delusions"
that stolen glasses made him better in
bed. Police arrested
the man after he mugged a stranger on the
street and stole
his spectacles. According to his wife, the only
way he could
become aroused was when he wore a freshly-stolen
pair of
glasses. She says he would return from walks with a pair
of
stolen glasses and insist she wore her usual pair.
Police
reportedly found more than 50 pairs of expensive
designer
glasses in his
flat.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shopkeeper Prevents Robbery With
Coffee
ZAGREB, Croatia - A shopkeeper thwarted a holdup by throwing
a
cup of coffee at an armed robber and holding him at bay with a
pair of
scissors, police said Thursday.
The would-be thief, whose face was
concealed under a motorcycle
helmet, entered the convenience store in a
Zagreb suburb on
Wednesday, police said in a statement. He pulled out a
pistol and
demanded money from the cash register.
However, the
50-year-old storekeeper, who was not identified,
refused to budge. She threw
her cup of coffee at the man and
brandished the scissors, police said. Her
attacker, who is believed
to have suffered burns, fled.
Police are
looking for the man.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A would-be robber who
held up a store wearing underpants on his
head as a mask fled empty handed
after injuring his face.
The attempted robbery, at Heincklemeijer's Suds
in Granger,
Kentucky began badly when the red, white and blue briefs
slipped
over his eyes at a vital moment.
Matters took a turn for the
worse when he yanked the cash till
with such force it hit his head, knocking
him to the floor and
cutting his face.
A police spokesperson said the
man then ran out of the shop
empty handed.
He added that they were
looking for a tall person with a skinny
build and a shaven head who was
wearing a tee-shirt that read,
" Believe In
Me."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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**** HEALTH NEWS ****
Special children-friendly CT scan room
CHICAGO, -- About
one-third of U.S. children who need com-
puter tomography, or a
CT scan, require sedation because
they can't relax enough for a
successful test. Calming
children down can add six to eight
hours to a procedure
that can normally be completed in 15
minutes, according to
Royal Philips Electronics. Aside from
being a traumatic
experience for children and their families,
the delay can
also affect hospital productivity. The "Ambient
Experience"
pediatric radiology suite at Advocate Lutheran
General
Children's Hospital in Chicago, designed by Philips
Elec-
tronics, will use cartoons or animal themes projected
on
the wall and ceiling of the examination room,
accompanied
by music and sounds to amuse and calm children
getting
tested. "A CT exam requires a patient lie perfectly
still,
and can be very scary or intimidating to a child," said
Dr.
John Anastos, chairman of the department of radiology
at
Advocate Lutheran General Hospital. "When the child
is
relaxed and comfortable in their environment," he
said,
"the need for sedation or repeat exams is reduced,
which
helps keep a young patient's radiation doses to a
minimum."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Health officials worry about flu pandemic
WASHINGTON, -- The world is unprepared for an impending flu
pandemic, lacking public awareness and medicine, The
Washington Post reports. Public health officials around the
world are trying to plan for the outbreak, including quaran-
tines. Flu vaccines are in short supply and could take
months for more even if the orders are fast-tracked. A dead-
ly new virus is showing up in more places as well. The avian
bird flu, first noticed in 18 months ago in Southeast Asian
poultry flocks, is spreading at a rate that is worrying
health authorities. Bird flu has been found in Siberia and
Russia. Hospitals in Australia are admitting record number
of flu patients and Health Minister Tony Abbott predicts a
massive outbreak within the next 12
months.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
OUTSMARTING JETLAG
University of Texas
Southwestern Medical Center at Dallas
sleep researchers suggest
an easy way to outsmart jetlag.
"Travelers should follow three
easy steps to help reset
their bodies' clocks after a dramatic
time change," says
Dr. John Herman, of the UT Southwestern
Medical Center at
Dallas and director of the Sleep Disorder
Clinic at
Children's Medical Center Dallas. Herman suggests
taking
6 milligrams of melatonin when it is 11:30 p.m. in
the
time zone of the travel destination and when arriving
at
the travel destination get as much sunlight as soon
as
possible. One hour before bedtime on the night of
arrival,
Herman says to take another 3 milligrams of
melatonin.
**** HEADS UP FOLKS ****
These Are My Causes Please Help
Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation
http://www.organdonor.gov/
It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a
mammogram"
for free (pink window in the middle). This doesn't cost you a
thing. Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits
to donate mammogram
in exchange for
advertising.
Here's the web site! Pass it along to
people you know.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com
&
The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble
getting enough people to click on it daily to meet their quota
of
getting free food donated every day to abused and neglected animals. It
takes less than a minute to go
to their site and click on "feed an
animal in need" for free! This doesn't cost you a thing! Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate food to
abandoned/neglected animals in exchange
for advertising.
Here's
the web site! Pass it along to people you
know!
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thoughts or Comments
jokes or stories
U
Send'em and I'll print'em
Just keep it clean.A lota kids read
this
jim4615@earthlink.net
Subject
Line--- The Funnies/HEY LOOK
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
**** MOTOR SPORTS NEWS ****
|
Ford's new car takes track |
|
Jarrett puts 2006 Fusion through its paces in Atlanta
test. |
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|
New turn for Tracy |
|
Childress to give Champ Car ace a stock-car test at
Michigan. |
|
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|
|
Barrichello leaving Ferrari |
|
Team names Brazilian Felipe Massa as his
replacement. |
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Subscribe Today: Home Delivery of USA TODAY - Save 35%
**** BILL'S COUNTRY
CALANDER ****
-3-
Dottie Dillard "Anita Kerr Singers" born Springfield,
MO 1923.
Gordon Stoker " Jordanaires" born Gleason, TN
1924.
Stuart Hamblin begins his career as a Decca Records
recording artist 1934.
Randy Scruggs born Nashville, TN
1953.
Marty Robbins
released "Sing Me Something Sentimental" 1953.
The Browns #1 country hit "The Three Bells," charted
1959.
The State of Tennessee registered The Country Music
Foundation 1964.
Buck Owens released "I Don't Care/Don't Let Her
Know," 1964.
Dean Sams, keyboards/vocals "Lonestar," born Garland,
TX 1966.
Bonnie Owens recorded "Consider The Children,"
1966.
Glen Campbell's single "Dreams Of The Everyday
Housewife" charted 1968.
Buck Owens recorded "Hot Dog" 1988.
Johnny Lee of "Urban Cowboy" fame debuted on the
Grand Ole Opry 1991.
Trisha Yearwood's debut single "She's In Love With
The Boy" went to #1 1991. Trisha became the first
female artist to have a #1 debut since Marie Osmond's "Paper Roses" in
1973.
Ivan Leroy "Little Roy" Wiggins, age 73, steel
guitarist for Eddy Arnold/session musician, died in Sevierville, TN
1999.
Reba McEntire's single "Somebody" was # 1 in
2004.
Naomi Judd
joined several elected officials in New York City to celebrate the re-opening of
the Statue of Liberty in 2004. The statue had been closed to the public
since September 11, 2001.
Twin sisters
Heather and Jennifer The Kinleys, released their album "All In The
Family" 2004.
Provided by Bill Morrison at
www.rockabillyhall.com/billmorrison.html
ON THIS
DATE, COUNTRY MUSIC??™S TOP TUNES WERE:
1946 New Spanish Two Step - Bob Wills
1954 One By One -
Kitty Wells & Red Foley
1962
Wolverton
Mountain -
Claude King
1970 Wonder Could I Live There Anymore -
Charley Pride
1978 Only One Love in My Life - Ronnie Milsap
1986 Nobody in His Right Mind Would??™ve Left Her -
George
Strait
**** COUNTRY MUSIC NEWS
****
McCready's Arizona Court Appearance Delayed
Mindy McCready's arraignment on criminal charges in
Kingman,
Ariz., has been postponed until Aug. 30. One of the
singer's
representatives asked the Mojave Country district
attorney's
office to agree to the delay prior to a court
appearance
originally scheduled for Friday (July 29). McCready
is
charged with unlawful use of transportation and
hindering
prosecution in connection with an alleged con
scheme.
McCready was released from a Florida hospital on
Tuesday
(July 26) after an overdose of drugs and alcohol.
The
singer reportedly left a four-page suicide note before
be-
ing found unconscious in the lobby of a Holiday Inn
near
Tampa.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Keith, Haggard Set for
CMT Outlaws Concert
Toby Keith, Merle Haggard,
Billy Joe Shaver, Shelby Lynne
and David Allan Coe will share
the stage for the next CMT
Outlaws concert, which will air Nov.
5. The show will be
taped before an invitation-only audience.
Last year's CMT
Outlaws concert featured performances by Hank
Williams
Jr., Kid Rock, Gretchen Wilson, Montgomery Gentry, Big
&
Rich, Tanya Tucker, Jessi Colter, Shooter
Jennings,
Metallica's James Hetfield and Lynyrd
Skynyrd.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aug. 2, 2005: A month after its release, George Strait's
"Somewhere Down in Texas" has been certified platinum (1 million in sales).
Strait's 20th Century Masters Collection (released in 2002) was also certified
platinum.
Since beginning his recording career in 1981, all of
Strait's 33 albums have been certified - 3gold (500,000 in sales), 17 platinum
and 13 multi-platinum certifications.
* * * * * *
*
**** TODAY'S USELESS FACT ****
How many colors can the human eye
perceive?
![]() Color is how our eyes
and brain interpret light. Our eyes can only see radiation with a wavelength of
380 nanometers to 740 nanometers. This is called the visible spectrum of light.
Sir Issac Newton listed the pure spectral colors we see in light as red, orange,
yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet.
But "Roy G. Biv" isn't the only
name in town when it comes to what colors exist. In 1790, researcher Thomas
Young said the human eye sees only three colors -- red, blue, and yellow -- and
every other color was just a combination of these primary colors. In 1878 Ewald
Hering posited a theory of four unique hues of red, green, yellow, and blue,
which, when mixed with white or black, represent all the possible colors humans
can process. Useful knowledge for painters and printers perhaps, but it doesn't
quite answer your question.
The problem is that nobody really knows
exactly how many colors the human eye can see. The closest researchers can
estimate is millions and millions. Scientific experiments have shown that humans
can discriminate between very subtle differences in color, and estimates of the
number of colors we can see range as high as 10 million.
Of course, every
person's eyes perceive color a bit differently, and every culture has its own
names for colors so coming up with an exact number may not be
possible.
**** WABASH
VALLEY WEATHER ****
http://www.wtwo.com/
Weather Summary:
A warm night for Tuesday
night. Wednesday will be another hot day with
highs in the mid 90`s. The
heat index will be around 100 and maybe in
the low 100`s. A cold front will
move in late Thursday. This will bring
a chance of showers and storms late
Thursday and Thursday night. This
front will break the heat a little by
Friday and Saturday. It warms back
up for next week.
-- Jesse Walker
Weather Factoid:
Remember your weather folklore for August? The
number of fgs in August
will be the number of snows in the winter. Patchy
fog does not count but
widespread fogs do.
Tuesday Night
Some
Fog Late
Low 68
Wednesday
Hazy / Hot / Humid
High 95 (heat
index to 100)
Wednesday Night
Partly Cloudy
Low 70
Thursday
30% Chance of PM Storms
High 94
Low 70
Friday
Partly Sunny
High 85
Low 68
Saturday
Mostly Sunny
HIgh
85
Low 62
Sunday
Partly Sunny
High 88
Low 68
Monday
Partly Sunny
High 88
Low 68
Tuesday
Partly Sunny
High
88
Low 68
****A PARTING THOUGHT ****
It may be the cock that crows, but it's the hen that
lays the egg
TOON TIME
Steroids
http://www.buffaloschips.com/50220.htm
<a
href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/50220.htm
"> Here!</a>
Slow
http://www.buffaloschips.com/50219.htm
<a
href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/50219.htm
"> Here!</a>
Elegant Dump
http://www.buffaloschips.com/50218.htm
<a
href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/50218.htm
"> Here!</a>
help me
http://thepostmanscorner.net/up2grate.html
<a href=" http://thepostmanscorner.net/up2grate.html
">click here</a>
that's gotta hurt
http://thepostmanscorner.net/up3grate.html
<a href=" http://thepostmanscorner.net/up3grate.html
">click here</a>
LAST CALL Y'ALL
This was
developed as an age test by an R&D department at Harvard
University. Take
your time and see if you can read each line aloud
without a mistake.
The average person over 40 years of age can't do
it!
1. This is this
cat
2. This is is
cat
3. This is how
cat
4. This is to
cat
5. This is keep
cat
6. This is an
cat
7. This is old
cat
8. This is person
cat
9. This is busy
cat
10. This is for
cat
11. This is forty
cat
12. This is seconds
cat
Now go back and
read the third word in each line from the top down *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hey, Let's be careful out
there
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Don't take anything you see in
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GOD BLESS AMERICA
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47838-0521
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REMEMBER
THE
COLUMBIA & THE STS 107 CREW
NEVER FORGET 9-11
God Bless
America , Our Land , Forever May She
Stand
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