The top 10 country singles:? ? ? ? 1. As Good As I Once Was -- Toby Keith? ? 2. Something More -- Sugarland? ? 3. Mississippi Girl -- Faith Hill? ? 4. Play Something Country -- Brooks & Dunn? ? 5. Alcohol -- Brad Paisley? ? 6. Do You Want Fries With That -- Tim McGraw? ? 7. A Real Fine Place To Start -- Sara Evans? ? 8. Fast Cars And Freedom -- Rascal Flatts? ? 9. Don't Worry 'Bout A Thing -- SheDaisy? ? 10. Help Somebody -- Van Zant? ? The top 10 country albums:? ? ? ? 1. Faith Hill -- Fireflies? ? 2. Rascal Flatts -- Feels Like Today? ? 3. Toby Keith -- Honkytonk University? ? 4. Sugarland -- Twice The Speed Of Life? ? 5. Keith Urban -- Be Here? ? 6. George Strait -- Somewhere Down In Texas? ? 7. Gretchen Wilson -- Here For The Party? ? 8. Jason Aldean -- Jason Aldean? ? 9. Toby Keith -- Greatest Hits 2? ? 10. Big & Rich, Horse Of A Different Color? ? The top 10 Christian singles:? ? 1. In The Blink Of An Eye -- MercyMe? ? 2. Brave -- Nichole Nordeman? ? 3. Hide -- Joy Williams? ? 4. Holy Is The Lord -- Chris Tomlin? ? 5. Next Thing You Know (Thirteen) -- Matthew West? ? 6. Held -- Natalie Grant? ? 7. What If -- Jadon Lavik? ? 8. Miracle -- John David Webster? ? 9. Take You Back -- Jeremy Camp? ? 10. Lifesong -- Casting Crowns? The top 10 DVD rentals:? ? 1. Constantine -- Warner Home Video? ? 2. XXX: State of the Union -- Columbia TriStar Home Enter-? ? ? ? tainment? ? 3. Million Dollar Baby -- Warner Home Video? ? 4. Man of the House -- Columbia TriStar Home Entertainment? ? 5. Upside of Anger -- New Line Home Entertainment? ? 6. The Pacifier -- Walt Disney Pictures? ? 7. Hide And Seek (Widescreen) -- FoxVideo? ? 8. Ice Princess -- Walt Disney Home Entertainment? ? 9. Hitch -- Columbia TriStar Home Entertainment? ? 10. Hostage -- Miramax Home Entertainment? ? ? ? Top 10 DVD sales:? ? ? ? 1. XXX: State of the Union (Widescreen) -- Columbia TriStar? ? ? ? Home Entertainment? ? 2. XXX: State of the Union (Full Screen) -- Columbia TriStar? ? ? ? Home Entertainment? ? 3. Constantine (Widsecreen Edition) -- Warner Home Video? ? 4. Upside of Anger -- New Line Home Entertainment? ? 5. Ice Princess (Full Screen) -- Walt Disney Home Entertain-? ? ? ? ment? ? 6. Constantine (Full Screen) -- Warner Home Video? ? 7. Ice Princess (Widescreen) -- Walt Disney Home Entertainment? ? 8. Million Dollar Baby (Widescreen) -- Warner Home Video? ? 9. King's Ransom -- New Line Home Entertainment? ? 10. Man of the House -- Columbia TriStar Home Entertainment? ? ? The top 10 singles:? ? 1. We Belong Together -- Mariah Carey? ? 2. Don't Cha -- The Pussycat Dolls Featuring Busta Rhymes? ? 3. Pon de Replay -- Rihanna? ? 4. Let Me Hold You -- Bow Wow Featuring Omarion? ? 5. Lose Control -- Missy Elliott Featuring Ciara & Fat Man? ? ? ? Scoop? ? 6. You And Me -- Lifehouse? ? 7. Behind These Hazel Eyes -- Kelly Clarkson? ? 8. Listen To Your Heart -- D.H.T.? ? 9. Hollaback Girl -- Gwen Stefani? ? 10. Pimpin' All Over The World -- Ludacris Featuring Bobby? ? ? ? ? Valentino? ? The top 10 albums:? ? ? ? 1. Faith Hill -- Fireflies? ? 2. Various Artists -- Now 19? ? 3. Mariah Carey -- The Emancipation Of Mimi? ? 4. Young Jeezy -- Let's Get It: Thug Motivation 101? ? 5. Teairra Mari -- Roc-A-Fella Presents Teairra Mari? ? 6. Kidz Bop Kids -- Kidz Bop 8? ? 7. Coldplay -- X&Y? ? 8. The Black Eyed Peas -- Monkey Business? ? 9. Kelly Clarkson -- Breakaway? ? 10. Gorillaz -- Demon Days? ? ? The top 10 mainstream rock tracks:? ? ? ? 1. Best Of You -- Foo Fighters? ? 2. Remedy -- Seether? ? 3. Right Here -- Staind? ? 4. The Hand That Feeds -- Nine Inch Nails? ? 5. Doesn't Remind Me -- Audioslave? ? 6. B.Y.O.B. -- System Of A Down? ? 7. Brother -- Dark New Day? ? 8. Happy? -- Mudvayne? ? 9. Guarded -- Disturbed? ? 10. Colors -- Crossfade? ? **** WEIRD HAPPENINS ****Atheist Tries to Sell His Soul on eBay? ? ? Here is further proof that people will try to sell anything? ? on the internet. Adam Burtle from Seattle put his soul up? ? for auction on the trading website eBay. The 20-year-old? ? received bids ranging from $6.66 from an ex-girlfriend to? ? a top bid of $400. The sale listing has since been removed? ? from the site, because according to eBay spokesman Kevin? ? Pursglove, "You have to have a piece of merchandise that a? ? seller can deliver to a buyer." Items previously put up for? ? auction include organs, drugs and even a person's virginity.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~? ? 40-Year-Old Virgin Discovered In Utah? ? Paula Houston is a faithful Mormon, she rarely watches R-rated? ? movies and she is a self-acknowledged virgin. While these may? ? be unique, even admirable qualities, some people feel that? ? they are a liability for Utah's new porn czar. Porn czar is? ? a nickname given to the state's prosecutor of obscenity law? ? violators. But despite her personal inexperience Houston says? ? she knows smut when she sees it. In her 15-year legal career? ? she has already prosecuted five pornography cases. For one? ? prosecution Houston watched hours of hard-core sex videos,? ? dutifully logging each detail for a judge. In her new position? ? the virginal prosecutor promises to wage war on all types of? ? pornography, viewing XXX-rated movies, Internet porno sites? ? and sexually explicit magazines "for as long as it takes."? ? [As reported in The Salt Lake Tribune.]~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`Japanese Hard on Chinese Viagra Contraband? ? ? TOKYO - A soft drink containing the active ingredient of the? ? impotence drug Viagra has been banned by Japanese officials.? ? Some 47,000 bottles of the non-prescription drink were? ? imported from China last year, and all but 4,000 have already? ? been sold. Each bottle of the drink contained 64.3 milligrams? ? of the chemical sildenafil, far more than the 25 or 50 mg in? ? one tablet of Viagra sold in Japan, officials said. The ban? ? was put into effect shortly after advertisements for the? ? drink, touted as "the solution to your nighttime problems,"? ? appeared in men's magazines and on the Internet...obviously? ? hoping to tap into the market of an estimated 9.8 million men? ? in Japan who suffer from erectile dysfunction.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Discarded Shell Makes Hungry Monkey Go Ape BANGKOK - A hungry monkey may think twice about eating coco-? ? nuts after blindly running around the jungles of Bangkok for? ? five days with a shell on his head. The pig-tail monkey? ? became trapped by the fruit while trying to eat the flesh? ? from a shell discarded by a tourist. The monkey was caught? ? on Saturday but villagers had to let it go when the monkey's? ? relatives attacked them. A team of 12 Bangkok vets are now? ? mounting a rescue mission to get the monkey out of his? ? predicament.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sweet Tooth May Give Burglar His Just Desserts? ? STOCTON-ON-TEES, England - A burglar with a sweet tooth may? ? receive his just desserts after he took a bite out of a? ? chocolate penis in his victim's home. The woman homeowner? ? reportedly bought the naughty novelty at an Ann Summers? ? sex shop. Forensics experts in Stockton-on-Tees are in the? ? process of examining the teeth imprints and saliva traces? ? left on the cream-filled creation.? ? ? ? ? **** HEALTH NEWS ****? Clinic guidelines could harm elderly? ? BALTIMORE, -- A Johns Hopkins study suggests clinical? ? practice guidelines might become potentially dangerous? ? if applied to older patients with multiple conditions.? ? The problem, say researchers, is the guidelines may? ? yield an overly complicated health regimen or poten-? ? tially harmful drug interactions, since such guidelines? ? rarely account for older patients with several coexist-? ? ing illnesses. "It is evident that these guidelines,? ? designed largely by specialty-dominated committees for? ? managing single diseases, provide clinicians little? ? guidance about caring for older patients with multiple? ? chronic diseases," said lead author Dr. Cynthia Boyd,? ? an assistant professor of geriatric medicine and? ? gerontology at Johns Hopkins Bayview Medical Center.? ? "While some recommend interventions for specific pairs? ? of diseases, they rarely give recommendations for treat-? ? ing patients with three or more chronic diseases -- a? ? group that includes half of the population over age 65."? ? The study appears in The Journal of the American Medical? ? Association.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~? ? ? CITRUS MAY STAVE OFF CANCER? ? Animal studies show citrus fruits contain compounds that? ? may help prevent colon cancer, the second leading cause? ? of cancer death in the United States. Researchers at Texas? ? A&M University showed freeze-dried grapefruit pulp, similar? ? to whole grapefruit, reduced the rate of early colon cancer? ? in an animal model of the disease. Another research group,? ? at Kanazawa Medical University in Japan, found in animal? ? studies nobiletin, a compound found in tangerines, also? ? may act to help prevent colon cancer. The findings were? ? presented at a national meeting of the American Chemical? ? Society in Philadelphia.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~? ? ? MUSCLE TRAINING HELPS LABOR? ? Pelvic floor muscle training during pregnancy appears to? ? help labor, scientists say. The Norwegian study challenges? ? the view that strong pelvic floor muscles, such as those? ? developed from riding horses, may obstruct labor. The team? ? studied 301 healthy pregnant women, half of whom took part? ? in an intensive pelvic floor muscle training program between? ? the 20th and 36th week of pregnancy. The investigators found? ? the training group had a lower rate of prolonged second? ? stage labor -- active pushing -- than did the other women,? ? with 24 percent needing more than 60 minutes of active pushing before delivery, compared to 38 percent in the control? ? group.? ? **** WABASH VALLEY WEATHER ****http://www.wtwo.com/Weather Summary: A few storms for Friday night. A front will slowly slide into the area over the weekend and this will give us a chance of showers and storms over the weekend. It will still be very warm and humid with highs Saturday around 90 and into the upper 80`s on Sunday. That front will still linger into the area early next week with showers and storms possible through Tuesday, there could be some decent rainfall totals by then. The rest of next week looks dry and very warm with highs staying in the upper 80`s.-- Jesse Walker Weather Factoid: For a Severe T-Storm Warning to be issued the storm must have either 3/4" hail or 58 mph wind gusts. Friday Night Few StormsLow 70 Saturday Showers / Storms PossibleHigh 90 Saturday Night Showers / Storms PossibleLow 70 Sunday 40% Chance of StormsHigh 87Low 70 Monday Showers / StormsHigh 85Low 65 Tuesday Showers / StormsHigh 85Low 65 Wednesday Partly SunnyHigh 87Low 67 Thursday Partly SunnyHigh 88Low 68 Friday Partly SunnyHigh 90Low 70 *+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+Hey, Let's be careful out there*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+Don't take anything you see in the? Funnies personally.? The contents are meant to be jokes,? nothing more.Everyone & everything is an equal opportunity target here.? ? The Funnies are strictly an opt-in service.We do not sell, lease, loan, or give our subscribers' addresses to anyone for any reason. 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