By JIM SALTER, Associated Press

For sale: One albino snake. Has two heads. Asking $150,000 or best offer. The World Aquarium in St. Louis has been home to We, a one-of-a-kind two-headed albino rat snake, since 1999. President Leonard Sonnenschein has decided to sell the reptile, and bidding on reptileauction.com will start at $150,000.

"It's an amazing snake," Sonnenschein said Monday. "When people see it they are awe-struck."

The auction was expected to close within 10 days.

The 6 1/2-year-old snake came to the aquarium's attention when its previous owner distributed a circular offering it for sale days after its birth. The aquarium paid $15,000 knowing most two-headed snakes don't live more than a few months.

But We has survived and thrived. An inch thick and 4 feet long, she is a healthy size for a rat snake. Her body is white, but the heads have a reddish appearance.

We has survived because, unlike some two-headed animals, both mouths are connected to the same stomach, Sonnenschein said.

The snake has been in the spotlight before. In 2004, a disgruntled City Museum worker stole We. Authorities found the snake in the garage of the man's home in Illinois.

"He thought he was going to sell it," Sonnenschein said. "The thing is, it's the only one in the world."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cat OK After Traveling 70 Miles Under SUV

Curiosity didn't kill one cat on a wild ride on the New Jersey Turnpike. The kitten, now known, for obvious reasons, as Miracle, hitchhiked a ride on the underbelly of a sport utility vehicle just before Christmas.

The gray and white feline traveled some 70 miles under the vehicle as it whizzed along the Turnpike on Dec. 23.

"I'm just amazed that the cat didn't fall off or get blown off," Karen Dixon-Aquino, director of the Animal Welfare Association in Voorhees, told the Courier-Post of Cherry Hill for Tuesday's newspapers.

The association is caring for the furry hitchhiker and plans to put him up for adoption.

The SUV's driver was traveling from Newark to Cherry Hill and didn't know she was giving the kitten a ride until another motorist saw the tabby through a wheel well and flagged the driver over near Interchange 4 in Mount Laurel.

Dixon-Aquino said the cat probably climbed into the guts of the SUV in Newark and was asleep when the journey began. Somehow, the cat avoided being mangled by fan blades and other moving parts as he clung to the car for the ride.

The kitty, estimated to be about 8 or 9 months old, was not unscathed, though.

"He was pretty freaked out," Dixon-Aquino said. "His paws were burnt, one claw was missing and his fur was singed."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Missouri Man Bakes Fireworks, Blows Up Kitchen

KANSAS CITY, Missouri - Fireworks hidden in a Kansas City
man's oven turned out to be a recipe for disaster when the
man blew up his oven during dinner preparations. According
to Kansas City Assistant Fire Marshall Jim Duddy, the ex-
plosion occurred early on the morning of the Fourth of July
at the home of a 28-year-old man who had spent the night
celebrating with friends. The group, "who had been drinking
heavily," were shooting fireworks off for several hours on
Tuesday night at the Northland area home. Neighbors became
annoyed with the noise and called the police. When they
arrived someone in the group stashed the fireworks in the
oven, but neglected to inform the homeowner that they were
there. Later, when he turned on the oven to bake lasagna at
3 a.m., the kitchen was blown to smithereens. Duddy concluded
that flying glass had caused some injuries, but otherwise no
one was hurt.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
No Mustard or Relish Please

NEW YORK, NY - For a long time the record in Nathan's annual
frankfurter eating contest stood at 25 weenies in just 5
minutes, 13 seconds. But this year the old record was broken,
no, shattered by Takeru Kobayashi of Japan who, in his
first-ever attempt at the contest, swallowed an incredible
50 hot dogs in just 12 minutes. That's complete with buns,
folks. Eyewitnesses said it was by far the most amazing
performance since the annual Fourth of July contest began
way back in 1916. By the end of the 12-minute event, the
rest of the 19-member field had stopped eating to watch.
Kobayashi measures a modest 5-foot-7, 131-pounds.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Alleged Robber Refuses Surgery and Is Acquitted

PHILADELPHIA, Pennsylvania - A masked man on a bicycle shot
at two men during a robbery last August in Philadelphia. The
robber fled after being shot by one of the victims. When
18-year-old Nathan Pailin went to the hospital the same night
for a gunshot wound, police began investigating him. Though
his wound was treated, doctors were unable to remove all the
fragments. Now there is a court order to have the remains
removed from Pailin's chest to see if the bullet matches the
one from the crime scene. Pailin's attorney, however, claims
the court order is a violation of her client's constitutional
rights against unlawful search and seizure. Since the suspect
refuses to have surgery, and with no other evidence available,
Judge Pamela Pryor Dembe acquitted Pailin of robbery,
aggravated assault and a weapons charge.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Building Owners Find Hidden Second Story

A couple touring an old office building they hoped to buy made a shocking find ??� the structure's second story had been sealed off from the world for some 70 years.

Lincoln and Lucille York Christensen bought the building last summer after discovering that a stairway passage to the second floor had been removed and the floor closed off.

Although most of the hidden floor's furnishings had been removed before it was sealed off, the room still offered a time capsule to the world of the 1930s.

A stack of canceled checks, all dated between June and December 1930, had been left on one of the two fireplace mantels, drawn on the account of the E.M. Bush Hardware Co. ??� a dealer in cutlery, tools and builders hardware.

Underneath the stack of checks was a ledger book, all entries in pencil.

The floor had three doors with frosted glass panels and overhead transoms labeled: "Receptionist ??� Come In," "Consultation Room. Private," and "Chemical Laboratory."

The floor was fitted with ceiling light fixtures designed for both electric and gas lights and contained a heavy wooden display rack like those seen at hardware counters of the era.

Lucille York Christensen said she and her husband, who will turn the floor into a loft apartment where they'll live, plan to keep some of the woodwork and old features, but not all of them.

"I'm not that interested in old stuff," she said.

Lucille York Christensen, a yoga instructor, will locate an office on the building's ground floor for her alternative healing therapies practice.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Church Selling Toilet Paper to Raise Money

Bake sales? Been done. Car washes? So 2005. And pop can drives can fall flat. So the Rev. Rick Oliver, pastor for the First Church of God in Pendleton, cast about for a new idea to raise money for sending 18 people on a mission to Costa Rica and settled on...toilet paper?

Oliver hit on the idea of selling toilet paper after hearing about a baseball coach on the East Coast who successfully sold the product.

As for the brand, what else? It's Angel Soft ??� Oliver's church took delivery of a truckload of it from a Portland distributor this week.

The church is selling the toilet paper either by the roll or by the case, and offers free delivery with the purchase of a case or more.

Oliver now is a practiced hand with his toilet paper sales pitch.

"The rolls are larger than the standard, with 450 sheets per roll, and it's two-ply," he told The East Oregonian newspaper. "We've heard all the jokes. People really enjoy that it's Angel Soft, but what else would a church sell?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Maybe you shouldn't answer a stolen phone..

Swedish police caught a burglar after he answered a phone he had just stolen and did not hang up, letting them eavesdrop on his getaway ride in a taxi.

The man broke into a house in Overtornea in the far north of Sweden, stealing a mobile phone and other possessions.

The police rang the stolen phone and heard him swearing about the late arrival of a taxi which he had ordered to take him to neighboring Kalix, 37 miles away.

"The thief answered the phone but then just put it away without turning it off," said Overtornea policeman Kurt Paavola.

The police tracked down the taxi and arrested the man late Monday.

Animals know stupid when they see it

By Ed Stoddard

A South African mugger fleeing the scene of his crime hides in a tiger enclosure.

On the country's coast, a woman attempts to be a good Samaritan by pushing a young seal into the sea, believing the poor thing is stranded.

Both people paid heavily for their stupidity, underscoring one of nature's truisms: humans do dumb things around wild animals.

"I blame it on Walt Disney, where animals are given human qualities. People don't understand that a wild animal is not something that is nice to pat. It can seriously harm you," said James Cameron, a South African professional hunter.

The cartoon image of wildlife may have prompted a 49-year-old South African woman in October to try to help a seal which she believed was stranded, allowing her 1-year-old grandchild to stroke the creature in the process.

The seal responded by biting off the woman's nose.

Cape Fur Seals are common on South African shores and many have become accustomed to humans.

They are a popular tourist attraction and can be viewed playing in the sea by Cape Town's waterfront -- which may also give a false impression of placid friendliness.

"Cute" seal pups have also been used as potent symbols by groups such as the International Fund for Animal Welfare, further enhancing the animal's "cuddly status."

But they can in fact be dangerous and sometimes attack people who venture too close -- as South Africa's noseless do-gooder discovered to her horror.

TIGER TROUBLE

Then there was the South African robber who made the mistake last month of taking refuge in an enclosure which turned out to be home to a pair of unimpressed tigers.

He had fled into a nearby zoo after security guards heard the screams of a couple he had just mugged in Bloemfontein, about 400 km (250 miles) southwest of Johannesburg.

Not surprisingly, he was mauled to death by the big cats.

The mugger was not the first South African criminal to err in hiding among zoo animals.

Max, a 200 kg (440 lb) gorilla, won fame in 1997 after being wounded by a terrified gunman who jumped a moat into his space in Johannesburg's zoo while fleeing police.

Max pinned the fugitive against the wall of his enclosure and guarded him even after being shot until police arrived, making him an instant folk hero in crime-ridden South Africa.

Other people don't realize that you shouldn't get between a mother and her offspring -- especially when dealing with the world's largest land mammal.

In April of this year, an elephant gored a tourist to death in a Ugandan national park after the man, carrying an 8-year-old boy in his arms, approached the animal's calf.

"I think many people are just far removed from nature. People who live in cities often see nature as something that is tame and manageable," said Sue Lieberman, director of the global species program for conservation group WWF International.

"And wrongly so. We don't need to tame nature, we need to keep the wild out there," she told Reuters.

SHOW-OFFS

Then there are the show-offs.

Lions mauled a South African teen-ager in March who came too close to their enclosure while trying to impress his girlfriend.

The sixteen-year-old, his girlfriend and his mother were having lunch with the lion keeper when he ignored advice and went off with his girlfriend to see the lions in the breeding section of the park just north of Johannesburg.

The boy went into an area off-limits to the public and touched a lion through the mesh fence.

The lion quickly sank its teeth into his arm and dragged him under the fence before the curator came, drove the four adult lions in the enclosure away and rescued the teen-ager.

"It just shows a total disregard and disrespect for wild animals," said Cameron.

The boy was luckier than a couple from Taiwan in 1993, who got out of their car to photograph lions up close at a South African game park -- and who were quickly savaged to death by the beasts. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Men and Women Flogged for Dancing

TEHRAN, Iran - You thought your parents were strict. Fifty
Iranian men and women between the ages of 18 and 25 were
rounded up by police for dancing at a party together and were
later flogged after a court found them guilty of depravity.
The government-run daily newspaper Iran reports that the
party-goers received 30 to 99 lashes after they were arrested
last weekend in an apartment in an upper-class district in
northern Tehran. The paper quoted the judge as saying that
the group was celebrating the birthday of the daughter of the
landlord when they were caught dancing together. Mixed parties
are banned in Iran on religious grounds and penalties include
fines, whipping and prison terms.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
You can join The Funnies
IT'S FREE
To subscribe, Click on link below
25438-subscribe@zinester.com
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Two-Headed Snake for Sale for $150,000

Cat OK After Traveling 70 Miles Under SUV

Building Owners Find Hidden Second Story

Church Selling Toilet Paper to Raise Money

Maybe you shouldn't answer a stolen phone..

Animals know stupid when they see it