|
The Funnies
"Friends are God's way of taking care of
us."
These
are clean jokes. However,
They are,
PG - Not intended for younger
readers - PG
Welcome New Subscribers
Anyone without a sense of humor is at the
mercy
of the rest of us. Heaven Help Them
Remember,
It's easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
WEDNESDAY JANUARY 25,2006
THOUGHT FOR TODAY:
???A smile is a powerful weapon;
you can even
break ice with it.???
"If my body were a car, this is the time I
would be thinking about trading it in for a newer model. I've got bumps and
dents and scratches in my finish and my paint job is getting a little dull, bu t
that's not the worst of it.
My headlights are out of focus and it's
especially hard to see things up close. My traction is not as graceful as it
once was. I slip and slide and skid and bump into things even in the best of
weather.
My whitewalls are stained with varicose veins. It takes me
hours to reach my maximum speed. My fuel rate burns
inefficiently.
But here's the worst of it --almost every time I sneeze,
cough or sputter.....either my radiator leaks or my exhaust
backfires!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A rich man was trying to
find his daughter a birthday gift when he saw a poor immigrant with a beautiful
white horse. He told the man that he would give him $500 for the horse. The poor
man replied, "I don't think so, mister, it don't look good," and walked away.
The next day the rich man came back and offered the poor man $1000 for the
horse. The poor man said, "No better not, it don't look too good." On the third
day the rich man offered the poor man $2000 for the horse, and said he wouldn't
take no for an answer. The poor man said well OK, and the rich man took the
horse home. The rich man's daughter loved her present. She climbed onto the
horse, and it galloped away right into a tree. The rich man rushed back over to
the poor man's house, demanding an explanation for the horse's blindness. The
poor man replied, "I told you it don't look so good!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Coming home from his Little League game,
Billy swung open the front door
very excited. Unable to attend the game, his
father immediately wanted
to know what happened. "So, how did you do son?" he
asked. "You'll never
believe it!" Billy said. "I was responsible for the
winning run!"
"Really? How'd you do that?" "I dropped the
ball."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kid's Instructions on
Life...
"Wear a hat when feeding seagulls."
"Sleep in your clothes so you'll be dressed in the
morning."
"Don't flush the john when your dad's in
the shower."
"Never ask for anything that costs more
than $5 when your parents are doing taxes."
"Never
bug a pregnant mom."
"Don't ever be too full for
dessert."
"When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I
look stupid?' don't answer him."
"Never tell your mom
her diet's not working."
"Don't pick on your sister
when she's holding a baseball bat."
"When you get a
bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone."
"Never spit when on a roller coaster."
"Never do pranks at a police station."
"Beware of cafeteria food when it looks like it's
moving."
"Never tell your little brother that you're
not going to do what your mom told you to do."
"Remember you're never too old to hold your father's hand."
"Listen to your brain. It has lots of information."
"Stay away from prunes."
"Never dare your little brother to paint the family car."
"Forget the cake, go for the icing."
"Remember the two places you are always welcome -
church and Grandma's house."
"When you want something
expensive, ask your
grandparents."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Send someone
over quickly!" the old woman screamed into the phone. "Two
naked bikers are
climbing up toward my bedroom window! "This is the Fire
Department, lady,"
the voice replied. "I'll have to transfer you to the
Police Department." "No,
it's YOU I want!" she yelled. "They need a
longer
ladder!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An honest seven-year-old admitted calmly
to her parents that Billy Brown
had kissed her after class. "How did that
happen?," gasped her mother.
"It wasn't easy," admitted the young lady, "but
3 girls helped me catch
him."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
During our children's
sermon one Sunday, our pastor told the kids, "We have been learning about how
powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But there is a higher power ...
can anyone tell me what it is?"
One child blurted out,
"Aces!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As a traffic safety consultant, I
often gave talks on
accident prevention. One night after I spoke to a
PTA
group, the program chairperson thanked me profusely and
gave me a
check for fifty dollars.
"Giving these presentations is part of my job," I
said.
"Could I donate the money to one of your causes?"
"That would be
wonderful!" she gushed. "We have just
the program that could use it. We're
trying to raise
money so we can afford better
speakers."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This guy drives up to his house
and where he parks is full
of snow. So he parks in a nearby
parking lot and walks back
home to shovel out a car-sized space
in front of his house.
It takes hours to shovel, but finally
done, he walks back to
the lot to get his car. When he returns
home, he finds that
the space has been taken by some other car.
He is, well,
upset.
What most people do is
write nasty notes etc. and place them
on the windshield of the
offending vehicle. Police sometimes
get involved however, when
the individual vents his wrath in
somewhat more violent means.
Tires and throats have been
slashed over this. This guy decides
to get creative. Instead
of doing the usual nasty, he got out
his garden hose and
watered the automobile down, real well. I
mean, very, very
thoroughly. The water of course froze solid.
When the owner
returned, instead of a car, he found a car-sized
Popsicle.
The note on the car read: "You want the space?
Here, it's
yours until
spring!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A physician presented his
bill to the attorney representing
a deceased person's estate. Each of them
knew the other, having tangled
quite a few times in court, where the doctor
was often called as an
"expert witness".
The Doctor asked the lawyer
if he wanted the bill sworn to.
"No," replied the lawyer, "the death of
[Mr Smith] is sufficient
evidence that you attended him
professionally."
"Be that as it may," replied the doctor, "the fact that
you handled his
affairs is probably why he couldn't afford to pay this bill
in the first
place."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I sure miss the days when
someone else pumped your gas and checked your tires for you...and it was even
cheaper back then.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Love is
so confusing. You tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do?
Turn out the lights!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In order for the Italians not to be
left out in naming their ships, they
finally registered the following
designation with NATO :
USA is USS which means "United States
Ship".
British is HMS which means "Her Majesty's Ship".
....and
now
Italy is AMB which means "Atsa My
Boat!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Answering Machine
Messages
My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if
you'll leave
your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're
finished.
A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why
we're not
here. So leave a message.
Hi. This is John. If you are the
phone company, I already sent the
money. If you are my parents, please send
money. If you are my financial
aid institution, you didn't lend me enough
money. If you are my friends,
you owe me money. If you are a female, don't
worry, I have plenty of
money.
Hi, I'm not home right now but my
answering machine is, so you can talk
to it instead. Wait for the beep.
Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator.
Please
speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one
of
these magnets.
Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering
machine just eloped with
her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls.
Say, if you want
anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it
up to the
phone.
Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of
receiving messages.
My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and
their carpets
are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not
need
their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and
number
and they will get back to you.
This is not an answering
machine -- this is a telepathic thought-
recording device. After the tone,
think about your name, your reason for
calling and a number where I can reach
you, and I'll think about
returning your call.
Hi. I am probably
home. I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me
a message, and if I
don't call back, it's you.
Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer
the phone right now. Leave
a message, and then wait by your phone until I
call you back.
If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home
cleaning our weapons
right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we
probably aren't
home and it's safe to leave us a message.
You're
growing tired. Your eyelids are getting heavy. You feel very
sleepy now.
You are gradually losing your willpower and your ability to
resist
suggestions. When you hear the tone you will feel helplessly
compelled
to leave your name, number, and a message.
Please leave a
message. However, you have the right to remain silent.
Everything you say
will be recorded and will be used by us.
****
Quickies ****
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a
vampire?
Frost-bite!
~
I tried Flintstone vitamins. I didn't feel
any better, but
I could stop the car with my feet.
~
Q: The perfect
man, the perfect woman, and Santa Claus are in a
car driving down the road
and there is a fatal accident. There
in only one survivor. Who is
it?
A: The perfect woman - Santa Claus is made up and there's
no
such thing as the perfect man!
~
President Bush met with the Prime
Minister of Belgium and things
got tense when the Prime Minister demanded the
U.S. close the
prison at Guantanamo Bay. President Bush quickly replied,
"The
prison is closed. That's how we keep them in there."
~
President
George W. Bush said that he meant to invade Iran all
along, blaming the error
on SpellCheck
~
This country is rapidly proving to be a place with two
cars
in every garage, neither of them paid for.
~
Money still talks,
but it has to catch its breath more often.
~
One cannot change the past, but one can ruin the present
by worrying
over the future.
~
Living would be easier if men showed as much patience
at home as they do when they are waiting for a fish to bite.
~
Insomnia: a contagious disease often
transmitted from babies to parents.
~
Treat your friends as you do your
pictures, and place them in their best light
~
The attorney was a Yankees fan who had a court date during a
wild card playoff game. Since computers and cell phones were not allowed in the
courtroom he asked his wife to watch the game on TV and said he'd call when he
had the chance to find out who won.
When the judge called a five-minute
recess, the lawyer bolted from the courtroom and ran to a pay
phone.
"What happened?" he asked. "The game's over," said his wife. "The
score was six to four." "Who won?" She replied, "The team with
six."
~
One night, a man was walking home when,
all of a sudden, a thief jumped on him. He and the thief began to wrestle. They
rolled about on the ground and the man put up a tremendous fight. However, the
thief managed to get the better of him and pinned him to the ground. The thief
then went through the man's pockets and searched him. All the thief could find
on him was 25 cents. The thief was so surprised at this that he asked the man
why he had bothered to fight so hard for a 25 cents. "Was that all you wanted?"
came the reply, "I thought you were after the five hundred dollars I've got in
my shoe!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
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ressypees e-zine
We do take requests!! If you are looking for any particular
recipe,
send your request to: mailto:bigguyhereagain@cogeco.ca
SUBSCRIBE
TO:
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HERE'S YOUR SIGN - STUPID ****
Family Feud
Has Mother Crying Fowl Play to Judge
LONDON - This
sounds like an excerpt from a Jerry Springer
Episode. Eliza
Grose, 84, and her daughter Marcina Collins,
55, ended up in
court to settle a family dispute. It seems
that the two got in a
brawl over who was to prepare supper.
Grose reportedly struck
the first blow with a rock-hard
frozen chicken and a rolling
pin, which Collins retaliated
by hitting her mother repeatedly
in the head with a meat
tenderizer. Collins hit her mother so
hard that she spent
11 days in intensive care and almost four
months in hospital.
Collins admitted causing grievous bodily
harm and was given
a 12-month jail sentence, suspended for two
years.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pot Smoker's Pays
'High' Price for Drug Usage -------
MUSKEGON, Michigan - A
40-year-old pot smoker watched his
home go up in a puff of smoke
after allegedly smoking mari-
juana and sniffing propane gas at
the same time. Brian Allen
Miller, of Muskegon, has been charged
with unlawful possession
or use of a harmful device causing
property damage and could
receive a maximum jail term of 20
years. Miller was reportedly
in his bedroom with a 20-pound
propane cylinder when the va-
pours ignited after he lit up a
joint. The explosion blew
part of his home off its foundation
and started a fire which
destroyed the building and damaged two
neighboring houses.
Miller has since moved to another house.
Prosecutor Tony
Tague said: "If there was a charge for
ignorance, this would
be
appropriate."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~****
WEIRD HAPPENINS ****
British Lord Tea Bagging
In Prison
Lord Archer, a 61-year-old British
millionaire jailed four
years ago for perjury, has been humbled
to the status of
"tea bag checker" in his British lockup.
Published reports
indicate that the peer's job is to go floor to
floor handing
out tea bags. One British pundit has noting that
Archer once
ran for mayor of London and now he's a tea bag
monitor.
There are reports that some of the more hardened
criminals
incarcerated in the same prison are not happy that
plans are
in the works to move the millionaire to cushier
digs.
[I wonder if his fellow inmates still have to call him
m'lord?]
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
**** HEALTH NEWS
****
Compound stops Alzheimer's brain cell loss
CHICAGO, -- Northwestern University scientists say they have
developed a novel orally administered compound to help
Alzheimer's disease patients. The compound reportedly halts
brain cell inflammation and neuron loss associated with
Alzheimer's disease. The researchers note the compound is
also rapidly absorbed by the brain and is non-toxic --
important considerations for a central nervous system drug
that might need to be taken for extended periods. The com-
pound, called MW01-5-188WH, selectively inhibits production
of pro-inflammatory proteins called cytokines by glia. Those
are cells of the central nervous system that normally help
the body mount a response, but are overactivated in certain
neurodegenerative diseases -- such as Alzheimer's and
Parkinson's disease, stroke and traumatic brain injury. The
compound was designed and synthesized in the laboratory of
D. Martin Watterson, a professor of cell and molecular
biology at Northwestern University's Feinberg School of
Medicine. The discovery is detailed in the Jan. 11 issue of
the Journal of
Neuroscience.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
VITAMINS MAY EASE ALZHEIMER'S
Vitamins E and C may help protect the aging brain against
damage caused by Alzheimer's disease, scientists say. "Our
study suggests that the regular use of vitamin E in nutri-
tional supplement doses, especially in combination with
vitamin C, may reduce the risk of developing Alzheimer's
disease," says Peter Zandi, lead author of the study
reported in the journal Archives of Neurology and assis-
tant professor of mental health in the Johns Hopkins
Bloomberg School of Public Health. The researchers think
antioxidant vitamin supplements may benefit the aging pop-
ulation because they are relatively nontoxic and are
thought
to offer wide-ranging health advantages. In the
study, the
researchers found a trend toward reduced
Alzheimer's in study
subjects who took a combination of
vitamin E and C. They noted
no reduction in the risk for
the disease when the vitamins were
taken singly or when
multivitamins were taken. The researchers
speculate the
use of vitamins E and C may offer protection
against
Alzheimer's when taken together in the higher doses.
The
scientists say further studies are needed to draw
any
firm conclusions about the vitamins' protective
effects.
**** ON THIS DAY
****
We Must Stop This Immediately!
Have you
noticed that Stairs are getting steeper. Groceries are heavier. And, everything is farther away.. Yesterday I walked to the corner and I was dumbfounded to
discover how long our street had become!
And, you know,
people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in
whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up
they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same
silent
message until they're red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip
reader?
I also think they are much younger than I was at the same age.
On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. I ran into an old friend the other day and she has aged
so much that she didn't even
recognize me.
I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my
hair this morning, and in doing so, I glanced at my own refection.........Well,
REALLY NOW- even
mirrors are not made the way they used to be!
Another thing, everyone
drives so fast these days! You're risking life and limb if you happen to pull
onto the freeway in front of them.. All I can say is, their brakes must wear out
awfully fast, the way I see them screech and
swerve in my rear view mirror.
Clothing manufacturers are
less
civilized these days. Why else would they suddenly start labeling a size 10
or 12 dress as 18 or 20? Do they think no one notices that these things no
longer fit around the waist, hips, thighs, and bosom?
The people who
make bathroom
scales are pulling the same prank, but in reverse.
Do they think I actually "believe" the number I see on that dial?
HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these
people think they're fooling?
I'd like to call up someone in authority
to report what's going on -- but the telephone
company is in on the conspiracy too: they've printed the phone books in such
small type that no one could ever find a number in
here!
All I can do is pass along this warning: We are under attack!
Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these
awful indignities.
PLEASE PASS THIS ON TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW
AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN GET THIS CONSPIRACY STOPPED!
PS:
I am sending this to you in a larger font
size, because something has caused my computer's fonts
to be smaller than they once
were.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~BLONDIE~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Subject:
flour and water
How come when you mix water and flour together
you get glue?..
.
and then you add eggs and sugar...
and you get
cake?
.
Where did the glue go ?
NEED AN ANSWER?
You know darned
well where it went!
That's what makes the cake
Stick to your
BUTT
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
**** HEADS UP FOLKS
****
These Are My Causes Please
Help
This is a link for
FREE virus protection
http://avast.com
It is excellent. I use it
myself
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Organ and
Tissue Donation/Transplanation
http://www.organdonor.gov/
It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a
mammogram"
for free (pink window in the middle). This doesn't cost you a
thing. Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits
to donate mammogram
in exchange for
advertising.
Here's the web site! Pass it along to
people you know.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com
&
The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to
click on it daily to meet their quota
of getting free food donated
every day to abused and neglected animals. It takes less than a minute to
go
to their site and click on "feed an animal in need" for free! This
doesn't cost you a thing! Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the
number of daily visits to donate food to abandoned/neglected animals in
exchange
for advertising.
Here's the web site! Pass it along to
people you know!
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is a link
for FREE virus protection
http://avast.com
It is
excellent
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thoughts or Comments
jokes or stories
U
Send'em and I'll print'em
Just keep it clean.A lota kids read
this
jim4615@earthlink.net
Subject
Line--- The Funnies
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
**** MOTOR
SPORTS NEWS ****
Subscribe Today: Home Delivery of USA TODAY - Save 35%
**** COUNTRY
CALANDER ****
1940 Johnny
Russell born in Roundaway, Miss.
1982 Ricky
Skaggs' first No. 1 single, "Crying My Heart
Out Over You,"
debuted on the chart
1972 T. Texas Tyler died
at the age of 55
1993 Wayne Raney, "The Harmonica Wizard,"
died at age 71
1993 Gospel songwriter Thomas A. Dorsey
died
1957 Patsy Cline made her first appearance
on the Arthur
Godfrey Time morning television program just two
days
after winning his prime time Talent Scouts show.
That
same day, her first husband, Gerald Cline, filed
for
divorce
1987 Reba
McEntire's Whoever's in New England album
certified
gold
1959 Flatt and Scruggs recorded "Crying My
Heart Out Over
You" for
Columbia
1936 Doug Kershaw
born in Tiel Ridge, Louisiana
1939 Ray Stevens born in
Clarksdale, Georgia
1950 Becky Hobbs born in
Bartlesville, Oklahoma
1954 Session bassist
Glenn Worf born in Dayton, Ohio
1963 Lonestar
drummer Keech Rainwater born in Plano,
Texas
1953 Eddy Arnold's #1 single "Eddy's Song"
charted
1981 Dolly Parton's "9 to 5" began a
week at #1 on
the country singles chart
1991 Shot Jackson died at age 70 in Nashville,
Tennessee
1998 Justin Tubb died
1941 Karl and Harty recorded "Gospel Cannon Ball"
for
Columbia
1941 Karl and Harty recorded
"Kentucky" for Columbia
1949 Ernest Tubb
recorded the Top 20 single "Daddy When
is Mommy Coming Home" for
Decca
1949 The York Brothers recorded "Take a Number" for
King
1949 The York Brothers recorded "Long Time Gone" for
King
1955 Bob Wills' first Decca recording
session
1956 Ernest Tubb recorded "So Doggone Lonesome"
for
Decca
1957 Mel Tillis' first Columbia
recording session
**** COUNTRY MUSIC NEWS ****
Historic
Studio Site Being Demolished in Nashville
The
building that housed RCA Victor's first permanent studio
in
Nashville is being demolished to provide additional park-
ing
space for an automobile dealership. The complex at 1525
McGavock
St. near downtown Nashville later served as head-
quarters for
Jim Owens Productions, the company that
produced the Crook &
Chase television show. Although the
building was owned and
operated by the United Methodist
Television, Radio & Film
Commission during the early '50s,
RCA operated a studio there
from 1954 until late 1957 when
the company opened its Studio B
on what was to become Music
Row. Elvis Presley used the studio
to record his break-
through hit, "Heartbreak Hotel," and "I
Want You, I Need
You, I Love You." With Chet Atkins supervising
RCA's
Nashville operations, the studio was also used to
record
the Everly Brothers and many RCA acts, including Jim
Reeves
and Hank Snow. The actual studio space was divided into
a
control room, audio booths and editing suites after
Owens
leased the building in
1983.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Harris, PETA Urge Owners to Bring Dogs
Inside
Emmylou Harris has teamed with People for
the Ethical
Treatment of Animals (PETA) to launch three
public
service announcements encouraging pet owners to
take
better care of their dogs. Harris filmed one of the
TV
spots at the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville. In
another,
Loretta Lynn's "I Want to Be Free" is used to
promote
the idea of bringing dogs inside during the
winter.
Dolly Parton's "He Will Be Waiting for Me" is the
back-
drop of the third clip which features actress
Kathy
Najimy. Lynn and Parton both donated their songs for
the
campaign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rascal Flatts will
release their fourth album, "Me and My Gang," April 4 on Lyric Street.
The
first single, "What Hurts The Most," written by veteran hit-maker Jeffrey Steele
and Steve Robson, debuted at radio with a career-high chart position, currently
at 15 in Billboard, both in only 3 weeks.
Recorded in Nashville, Dann Huff
and the band produced the disc.
"With every album you record, you hope that
you've grown as an entertainer and musician," says bassist and vocalist Jay
DeMarcus. "We've waited to share this music for a while now. I think our fans
will hear more of what they are used to from us, but I also feel we've stretched
our wings just a bit as well."
The majority of the album was recorded in the
spring and summer of 2005 but fourth single, "Skin (Sarabeth)," off current
album "Feels Like Today" pushed "Me and My Gang" to the spring 2006 release
date.
DeMarcus once again played bass on the album and guitarist Joe Don
Rooney played each guitar part on the entire album.
Rascal Flatts three
previous albums "Rascal Flatts" (2000), "Melt" (2002) and "Feels Like Today"
(2004) have collectively sold more than 8 million copies with an additional 1
million in sales of their dvd "Rascal Flatts LIVE." "Feels Like Toda," which
includes the title-track hit as well as "Fast Cars & Freedom," "Skin
(Sarabeth)" and "Bless The Broken Road," has remained in the Top 10 on the album
chart since its release 67 weeks ago in the fall of 2004.
* * * * * * *
Jan. 23, 2006: Janette Carter, the last surviving member of the
Carter Family, died Sunday at 82.
Janette was the daughter of A.P. and Sara
Carter, who along with cousin Maybelle, formed the Carter Family, considered the
first family of country music with historic recordings in Bristol, Va.
About
30 years ago, at her father's old grocery store in Hiltons, Va., Janette Carter
began a Saturday-night showcase for old time country and bluegrass music called
the Carter Family Fold.
Janette learned about music from their parents and
their Aunt Maybelle and also performed with them on occasion. By 6, Janette
danced onstage at Carter Family performances; at 12 she played autoharp and
sometimes traveled with the trio. At 16, Janette made her radio debut along in
1939 during the Carter Family's stint at Mexican border radio station
XERA.
Janette Carter mainly grew up in the Poor Valley of southwestern
Virginia. Shortly before his death in 1960, A.P. Carter told Janette about his
wishes. "My daddy asked me if I'd carry on his music," said Janette. "And I told
him I'd try. And that's what I've done."
Janette worked for years as the
public school cook in Hiltons. With brother Joe, they recorded beautiful, spare
albums and 45s in the acoustic tradition pioneered by the Carter Family,
Janette's deep alto voice echoed her mother's and Joe's sprightly guitar work
recalling Aunt Maybelle's legendary picking. Janette and Joe never much money
from their records.
On Aug. 24, 1974, Janette started holding old time music
concerts in her father's old grocery store, which grew in popularity.
Joe and
Janette Carter released an album two years ago on Dualtone.
She suffered from
Parkinson's and other ailments.
In September, Carter was honored by the
National Endowment for the Arts with the Bess Lomax Hawes Award for preserving
and performing Appalachian music.
**** Amy's Kitchen
****
Frank
Fritters
Dip frankfurters into batter made
with:
1 cup pancake
mix
1 tablespoon sugar
2/3 cup water
Fry 2 to 3 minutes in 1-inch deep fat (375 degrees F.)
until
brown. Drain and insert skewers. Garnish with lettuce and
tomatoes and serve with potato
chips.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
APPLE
CRUNCH
1-2 cans pie filling
1 box
yellow cake mix
1 c. chopped nuts
2 sticks melted oleo
Layer as
listed. Bake at 375 degrees for 45-60 minutes. Cook until golden brown. Large
pyrex 50 minutes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CHERRY
CHEESECAKE
1 pkg. Pillsbury lemon cake mix
1 c.
water
4 eggs
1 pkg. (8 oz.) cream cheese, softened
1/3 c. evaporated
milk
1 can cherry pie filling
Generously grease and lightly flour a 10
inch tube pan. In a large mixing bowl combine dry cake mix, water and eggs.
Blend and beat as directed on package. Pour about half of batter into prepared
pan. In a small mixing bowl, beat cream cheese and milk until smooth. Spoon over
batter. Bake at 350 degrees for 50 or 55 minutes until toothpick inserted in
center comes out clean. Cool in pan 15 minutes do not invert. Remove from pan.
Serve with remaining cherries. Store left in the
refrigerator.
**** TODAY'S
USELESS FACT ****
Why do clocks run clockwise and not
counterclockwise?
![]() Clocks will always run clockwise. If clocks were to run the
other way that new direction would be referred to as clockwise. If you are
asking why the hands move left to right at the top and right to left at the
bottom then the answer is - clocks turn clockwise because the shadow on sundials
on the northern hemisphere turns that way.
**** WABASH VALLEY WEATHER ****
http://www.wtwo.com/
****A PARTING THOUGHT ****
Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take
them while driving.
TOON
TIME
Ritalin
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/32006.htm
<a
href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/32006.htm
"> Here!</a>
Abe
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/32004.htm
<a
href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/32004.htm
"> Here!</a>
Dog Training
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/32005.htm
<a
href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/32005.htm
"> Here!</a>
When The Flames Die Down
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200411/021.htm
<a href="http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200411/021.htm">
Here </a>
Failing Eye Sight
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200411/022.htm
<a href="http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200411/022.htm">
Here </a>
Look Familiar?
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny126.html
<a href="http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny126.html">Here!</a>
No Pictures
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/32003.htm
<a
href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/32003.htm
"> Here!</a>
Employee Of The Month
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/32002.htm
<a
href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/32002.htm
"> Here!</a>
America!
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/32001.htm
<a
href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/32001.htm
"> Here!</a>
Let Me In
http://buffalosjokes.com/11131.htm
<a
href=" http://buffalosjokes.com/11131.htm ">
Here!</a>
Happy New Year
http://buffalosjokes.com/11130.htm
<a
href=" http://buffalosjokes.com/11130.htm ">
Here!</a>
Crossing
http://buffalosjokes.com/01020545.htm
<a
href=" http://buffalosjokes.com/01020545.htm ">
Here!</a>
LAST CALL
Y'ALL
At an annual Bosses Night dinner for Helena,
Mont., lawyers, sponsored
by legal secretaries, it was time to announce the
Boss of the Year. The
master of ceremonies
began: "First of all, our
winner is a graduate of the University of
Montana. So that already eliminates
some of you as candidates. "Our
winner also is a partner in a downtown Helena
law firm. That eliminates
some more of you. "Our nominee is honest, upright,
dedicated..." A voice
from the audience cut
in: "Well, there go the rest
of us!"
That's all folks
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hey, Let's be careful out
there
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
PLEASE
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