THOUGHT FOR TODAY:Intuition can be defined as a wife's ability to contradict her husband before he gets to say anything.


YOUR TOP TEN

The top 10 country singles:  
  
1. Kenny Chesney -- Living In Fast Forward  
2. Josh Turner -- Your Man  
3. Rascal Flatts -- What Hurts The Most  
4. Keith Urban -- Tonight I Wanna Cry  
5. Brad Paisley Featuring Dolly Parton -- When I Get Where  
   I'm Going  
6. Montgomery Gentry -- She Don't Tell Me To  
7. Carrie Underwood -- Jesus, Take The Wheel  
8. Bon Jovi Duet With Jennifer Nettles -- Who Says You Can't  
   Go Home  
9. Blake Shelton -- Nobody But Me  
10. Toby Keith -- Get Drunk And Be Somebody  


The top 10 country albums:  
  
1. Alan Jackson -- Precious Memories  
2. Johnny Cash -- The Legend Of Johnny Cash  
3. Carrie Underwood -- Some Hearts  
4. Soundtrack -- Walk The Line  
5. Josh Turner -- Your Man  
6. Rascal Flatts -- Feels Like Today  
7. Trace Adkins -- Songs About Me  
8. Keith Urban -- Be Here  
9. Various Artists -- Totally Country 5  
10. Kenny Chesney -- The Road And The Radio  


The top 10 Christian singles:  

1. Third Day -- Cry Out To Jesus  
2. Jeremy Camp -- This Man  
3. Mark Schultz -- I Am  
4. Chris Tomlin -- How Great Is Our God  
5. Aaron Shust -- My Savior, My God  
6. Carrie Underwood -- Jesus, Take The Wheel  
7. Matthew West -- Only Grace  
8. NewSong -- Psalm 40  
9. Natalie Grant -- What Are You Waiting For  
10. Casting Crowns -- Lifesong  

There will be skid marks leading up to the snake!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 A wealthy man was about to die, so he called his three best friends; a doctor,a priest and a lawyer to talk to them. When they were all together he said to them "look, I know they tell us we cant take it with you, but i dont believe them". so he gave each of them an envelope with a million dollars in each one and told them "when i die at my wake i want you guys to drop these envelopes in my casket". Soon the man died and all three went to the wake and as each one paid their last respects they dropped the envelopes into the casket. after the funeral the three got together and had a drink and discussed the passing of they're good friend. The priest said to the guys "I'm a man of the cloth so i must make a confession. The orphanage needed some money so I took $250,000 I only put $750,000 in the casket". The doctor said "Well since were telling the truth my hospital needed a new machine so i took $500,000 I only put $500,000 in the casket". The lawyer says "I cant believe you guys he was our best friend at least i left him a check for the full amount".
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 Gosh, no one did the classic old chestnut about the lawguy, the priest and the rabbi on the the "island" surrounded by blood thirty sharks. Within easy swimming distance their fully stocked ship is stuck on a reef. They're desparate for food yadayadayada. The rabbi says surely the god of Moses will part these waters and let me pass out of reach of the sharks. He steps up to the water and the other two pull him back just before he's a shark-snack. The priesty guy prays to the holy mother, with the same result. The law guy (our hero) steps up to the water,the sharks line-up side by side.He walks on their backs over to the ship and returns with provisions. The priesty guy spouts something like "saints preserve us, its a miracle!!" to which law-studly replies.....
"Not really, it was just professional courtesy..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 The United Way realized that it had never received a donation from the city's most successful lawyer.
So a United Way volunteer paid the lawyer a visit in his lavish office.

The volunteer opened the meeting by saying, "Our research shows that even though your annual income is
over a two million dollars, you don't give a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give something
back to your community through the United Way?"

The lawyer thinks for a minute and says, "First, did your research also show you that my mother is dying
after a long, painful illness and she has huge medical bills that are far beyond her ability to pay?

Embarrassed, the UniteWay rep mumbles, "Uh... no, ! I didn't know that."

"Secondly," says the lawyer, "my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair and
is unable to support his wife and six children."

The stricken United Way rep begins to stammer an apology, but is cut off again.

"Thirdly, did your research also show you that my sister's husband died in a dreadful car accident,
leaving her penniless with a mortgage and three children one of whom is disabled and another has learning
disabilities requiring an array of private tutors?"

The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, says, "I'm sorry, I had no idea."

And the lawyer says, "So... if I don't give money to them, what makes you think I would ever give any to you?!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 What do you call 10,000 lawyers chained together at the bottom of the ocean?
A great start!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her Black Ford Ranger
and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde.

The cop asked to see the blonde's driver's license. She dug through
her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. "What does it
look like?" she finally asked.

The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."

The driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it
to the policewoman.

"Here it is," she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying,
"Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 A blonde's house catches on fire...in a frenzy she call 911 to report the fire
The dispatcher asks "how do we get your house"???...

Her reply..."DUH...in those big red trucks"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ole is a farmer in minnesota. He is in need of a new milk cow and hears about one for sale over in indiana He drives to the indiana farm and looks over the cow. Ole reaches under to see if she gives milk. When he grabs the teat and pulls?the cow f*rts.

Ole is very surprised. He looks at the farmer who is selling the cow, then reaches under the cow to try again. He grabs another teat, pulls, and the cow f*rts again. Milk does come out however, so after some discussion with the cow's owner, Ole decides to buy the cow and take her home.
When he gets back to minnesota, he calls over his neighbor, Sven, and says, "Hey, Sven, come and look at dis here new cow I yust bought. Pull her teat, and see vat happens."
Sven reaches under, pulls the teat and the cow f*rts. Sven looks at Ole and says, "You bought dis here cow in indiana, didn't yah?"
Ole is very surprised since he hadn't told Sven about his trip. Ole replies, "Yah dats right. but, how did you know?
Sven says, "My wife is from indiana." 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After years of raising donkeys, an old farmer discovered
that one was unusually intelligent.  Remembering stories
of horses learning to add and subtract by stomping their
hooves, and knowing that this donkey was so much
smarter than any horse, he went one step further and
taught him to multiply and divide, as well.
The farmer was positive that the public would pay to see
this amazing donkey, so he sold his farm and went on
the road, renting booths at fairs to show off the animal's
mental prowess.
Unfortunately, he could never find customers who wanted
to see his donkey perform.  It seems he learned the hard
way that nobody likes a smart a**?.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When she was about three years old, I began taking my daughter, Sally, fishing with me. Since she caught very little, I'd ask her if she'd like to reel in one of my fish. This, I felt, would give her the idea of how it was to be done, and keep her from getting disheartened and bored. Just before her 13th birthday, we were out in the canoe and she was pulling in fish after fish, while I couldn't hook even one. Finally, after about her 12th fish, Sally turned to me and softly asked, "Would you like to reel in my next fish, Dad?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
John was furious when his steak arrived too rare.
"Waiter," he shouted, "Didn't you hear me say 'well done'?"
"I can't thank you enough, sir," replied the waiter. "I
hardly ever get a compliment."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man came back to the used-car dealer who'd sold him
the car allegedly driven only by a little old lady. The
salesman was concerned and asked, "Is there anything wrong?"
The customer said, "No, I just want to return some of
the things the little old lady left under the seat....
this chewing tobacco and a fifth of whiskey!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's very hard today for one to
sustain a family and the government on a single salary
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was virtually worn out after a busy day with my two grandchildren, so at dinnertime I did not have a lot of energy left for cooking. I asked them if they would be satisfied with frozen pizza. "Oh no," my three-year-old grandson quickly replied. "I like mine warm!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The minister drove into a sand trap. He picked up his golf club, broke it but didn't say a word.

Then he picked up the golf bag and tore it to shreds but didn't say a word.

He then took out all the golf balls and flung them into the woods but did not say one word.

Finally he muttered, "I'm going have to give it up."

"Golf?" asked the caddie.

"No" he replied. "The Ministry."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Maybe carrots will give me strong, sharp eyes, but what
if they also give me long floppy ears?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An elderly patient of mine who had many gold crowns told one of his friends that after he died he wanted to have his ashes spread over his favorite fishing hole. "Where is it?" his friend asked. "I'd like to pan for all that gold."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After dinner one evening a the president was entertaining their house guest by playing the piano. At one point he turned to the visitor, a fat conservative talk show host, and said, "I understand you love music."

"Yes," murmured the guest politely. "But never you mind. Keep right on playing ..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Margaret Thatcher and her Cabinet were meeting over lunch to discuss an important bit of impending legislation.

"And what will you have, Madam?" asked the waiter, coming over with his notepad.

"I'll have the Beef Wellington," replied the Prime Minister promptly, eager to get on with the business at hand.

"And, for the vegetables?" continued the waiter politely.

Thatcher replied briskly, "They'll have the same."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My accountant started my day off badly by calling me. "I'm leaving the firm to go to work for the government."

I asked, "What are you going to do?!"

He answered, "I'll be making license plates."

**** HEALTH NEWS ****
 
Study finds anorexia nevorsa is heritable  

CHAPEL HILL, N.C., -- A University of North Carolina-Chapel  
Hill study of Swedish twins suggests anorexia nervosa is  
heritable and linked to neurotic behavior early in life.  
Anorexia nervosa -- an eating disorder characterized by an  
extreme fear of obesity and an aversion to food -- is  
associated with the highest death rate of any mental dis-  
order, but little is known about risk factors for its  
development. UNC's Cynthia Bulik and colleagues studied  
individuals in the Swedish Twin Registry to examine the  
prevalence, heritability and risk factors for anorexia.  
For the current study, they focused on the 31,406 twins in  
the registry born between Jan. 1, 1935, and Dec. 31, 1958.  
The overall prevalence of anorexia in 2002 was 1.2 percent  
in women and .29 percent in men. The researchers estimate  
the disorder is 56 percent inherited, with the remaining  
differences caused by environmental factors. Those in the  
study born after 1945 had a higher prevalence of anorexia  
than those born before and individuals with lifetime  
anorexia reported lower body mass indexes, exercising more  
and having better overall health satisfaction than those  
without anorexia. The study's details appear in the  
Archives of General Psychiatry.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   

Cost of growth hormone therapy studied  

ANN ARBOR, Mich., -- University of Michigan scientists say  
growth hormone therapy in children with Idiopathic Short  
Stature costs about $100,000 for two more inches of growth.  
ISS is a condition of unknown origin that causes children  
to grow well below the normal height range. But the UM  
researchers say it would cost as much as $100,000 for one  
child to grow an average of two additional inches using  
growth hormone therapy for five years. The researchers  
analyzed the cost-effectiveness of growth hormone for  
children with ISS. It was the first such study to use  
clinical trial data that were the basis for the U.S. Food  
and Drug Administration's July 2003 approval of recombinant  
growth hormone for the long-term treatment of children with  
ISS. The study, in the March issue of the Archives of  
Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine, revealed the incremental  
cost-effectiveness of growth hormone therapy for ISS is  
more than $52,000 per inch. Lead author, Dr. Joyce Lee,  
said it would cost about $40 billion dollars to treat the  
estimated 400,000 U.S. children ages 4 to 15 eligible for  
growth hormone therapy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   

Stem cell heart cure begins clinical trial  

DEERFIELD, Ill., -- Baxter International of Deerfield, Ill.,  
Tuesday announced a clinical trial using stem cells to re-  
build failing hearts. The procedure, once believed imposs-  
ible, will involve 150 patients across the United States in  
a prospective, randomized, double-blind, placebo-controlled,  
multi-center study. The patients will be adults currently  
on maximal medical therapy and not suitable candidates for  
conventional procedures to improve flow to their heart, the  
Chicago Tribune reported Tuesday. The first phase was im-  
pressive enough to proceed with a Phase II trial. Baxter  
told the Tribune researchers will use its Isolex cell  
separation system to extract stem cells from the many types  
of cells in bone marrow. The cells will then be injected  
directly into the heart via catheter in hopes of regenerat-  
ing damaged areas. Supporters of stem cell research believe  
blood vessels leading to the heart can be rebuilt and dam-  
aged areas of the heart can be regenerated. If Baxter's  
trial is successful, the therapy would face at least one  
other trial and would be at least three to five years from  
winning federal regulatory approval as a standard treatment.  


**** ON THIS DAY   ****

 Clay Balls
check this out...

A man was exploring caves by the seashore. In one of the caves he found
a canvas bag with a bunch of hardened clay balls. It was like someone
had rolled clay balls and left them out in the sun to bake.
They didn't look like much, but they intrigued the man, so he took the
bag out of the cave with him. As he strolled along the beach, he would
throw the clay balls one at a time out into the ocean as far as he
could.
He thought little about it, until he dropped one of the clay balls and
it cracked open on a rock. Inside was a beautiful, precious stone!
Excited, the man started breaking open the remaining clay balls. Each
contained a similar treasure. He found thousands of dollars worth of
jewels in the 20 or so clay balls he had left. Then it struck him. He
had been on the beach a long time. He had thrown maybe 50 or 60 of the
clay balls with their hidden treasure into the ocean waves. Instead of
thousands of dollars in treasure, he could have taken home tens of
thousands, but he had just thrown it away! It's like that with people.
We look at someone, maybe even ourselves, and we see the external clay
vessel. It doesn't look like much from the outside. It isn't always
beautiful or sparkling, so we discount it. We see that person as less
important than someone more beautiful or stylish or well known or
wealthy, but we have not taken the time to find the treasure hidden
inside that person.
There is a treasure in each and every one of us. If we take the time to
get to know that person, and if we ask God to show us that person the
way He sees them, then the clay begins to peel away and the brilliant
gem begins to shine forth.
May we not come to the end of our lives and find out that we have thrown
away a fortune in friendships because the gems were hidden in bits of
clay. May we see the people in our world as God sees them. I am so
blessed by the gems of friendship I have with each of you. Thank you for
looking beyond my clay vessel.

**** AMY'S KITCHEN ****

BARBECUE MEATBALLS

1 lb. Hamburger
1 sm onion
1/2 c. Bread crumbs
1 egg
2 tbsp. Oil
3/4 tsp. Salt
1/4 tsp. Pepper
3/4 c. Ketchup
2 tbsp. Dijon mustard
2 tbsp. Brown sugar
1 tsp. Worcestershire sauce

Mince onion. Combine beef, onion, bread crumbs, salt, pepper, egg and a
Little milk. Make into balls and cook in oil. Remove meatballs with
slotted
Spoon. Add ketchup, 1/3 cup water, mustard, brown sugar, and
Worcestershire
Sauce to pan and bring to boil.

Return meatballs to pan and simmer until hot
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Snickers Cheesecake

Graham Cracker Crust:
4 C. graham crackers
1/4 T. cinnamon
1 t. nutmeg
1/2 C. sugar
1/2 C. butter, softened

Caramel sauce:
1 1/4 C. sugar
1/2 C. water
1 1/4 T. salted butter

Cheesecake:
1 3/4 lbs. cream cheese
5 oz. sugar
1/2 t. vanilla extract
1/4 C. flour, sifted
3 egg yolks
3 egg whites, whipped
3 frozen Snickers bars or 9 fun-sized bars (chopped while frozen)

To make crust, mix all dry ingredients, then add softened butter. Press
mixture into a 9-inch cheesecake pan. Make sauce by cooking on medium
heat sugar and water until caramelized. Add butter. Spread mixture on
bottom of graham-cracker crust while hot.

Make cake by mixing cream cheese until soft. Add sugar and vanilla. Stir
in flour. Add egg yolks. Mix all until smooth. Fold in whipped egg
whites and chopped candy. Add to graham-cracker crust and bake for 2
hours at 290. Refrigerate overnight or at least 6 hours. Makes 10
servings.

**** TODAY'S USELESS FACT ****

How did the bull and bear come to be symbols of the stock market?

Bear and Bull Markets, what are those? The symbols don't seem to match - why not a bird market when it soars and a whale market when it sinks? However,these tough beasts represent the course of a certain stock market, whether it is going up or going down. A Bull market is on its way up, and a Bear market is on its way down. The market has to go down 15%to 20% and stay that way for months or years to be considered a Bear Market. In a Bull Market, on the other hand, prices must go up for months or years. But why are these events named after animals? Many people believe that the terms are used because of the way these animals attack their food or each other. Bears attack by standing up on their hind legs and sending blows downward with their paws,and bulls attack by heaving their big horns upward. This myth can help you remember which one is which, but it is not where they really came from. A longtime ago, "bear skin jobbers" were known for selling bear skins that they did not own because the bears had not yet been caught. This was the original source of the term "bear." This term eventually was used to describe short sellers, specula- tors who sold shares that they did not own, bought after a price drop, and then delivered the shares. Obviously, these "bears" were hoping the market would go down, and the term stuck for describing a person who expects or hopes for a decrease in the market. In this same period, bull and bear baiting were all the rage in sports(we've come a long way!), making bulls and bears be seen as opposites. The bulls were people who bought in the expectation that a stock price would rise, not fall. At the same time, political cartoonist Thomas Nast played a role in popularizing the 'Bull' and 'Bear' as symbols for the market's movement. That's why we call them "Bull"and "Bear" markets today!

**** TOONS LINKS ****

Elvis Live
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<a href=" http://www.buffaloschips.com/030819.htm ">  Here!</a>

Dumped
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Dumb fries
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Laptop 9000C
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Bad Day 4
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Bad Day 3
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French Food
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Firing The Cleaning Lady
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<a href="http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200411/027.htm"> Here </a>

The World Without Engineers
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200411/028.htm
<a href="http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200411/028.htm"> Here </a>

Floor Exercise
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<a href="http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny837.html">Here!</a>

Lots Of Patients
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Ceiling Painted
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Wieners
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THAT'S ALL FOLKS
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Hey, Let's be careful out there
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