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 MONDAY MARCH 27,2006


THOUGHT FOR TODAY: RIP BUCK OWENS
 Remember the day you went huntin' for possum
You said you would get one and wouldn't be long...

T'was ten years ago and I'm still sittin' waitin',
beginnin' to wonder if somethin' went wrong!

Where oh where are you tonight?
Why did you leave me here all alone?

I've searched the world over and thought I'd found true love,
Yew met another and PFFT you were gone.

 Hee-Haw promoted country music and artists throughout the country.It was on my TV every Sat. evening.   It was good wholesome down-home television that the whole family gathered around to watch. Always funny  with great guests,and wonderful music 

BAKERSFIELD, Calif. -- Singer Buck Owens, the flashy rhinestone cowboy who shaped the sound of country music with hits like "Act Naturally" brought the genre to TV on the long-running "Hee Haw," died Saturday. He was 76.

Owens died at his home, said family spokesman Jim Shaw. The cause of death was not immediately known. Owens had undergone throat cancer surgery in 1993 and was hospitalized with pneumonia in 1997.

His career was one of the most phenomenal in country music, with a string of more than 20 No. 1 records, most released from the mid-1960s to the mid-1970s.

They were recorded with a honky-tonk twang that came to be known throughout California as the "Bakersfield Sound," named for the town 100 miles north of Los Angeles that Owens called home.

"I think the reason he was so well known and respected by a younger generation of country musicians was because he was an innovator and rebel," said Shaw, who played keyboards in Owens' band, the Buckaroos. "He did it out of the Nashville establishment. He had a raw edge."

Owens was modest when describing his aspirations.

"I'd like to be remembered as a guy that came along and did his music, did his best and showed up on time, clean and ready to do the job, wrote a few songs and had a hell of a time," he said in 1992.


Another great joins the heavenly band...we'll miss ya Buck!
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John Wayne Lives!!!

  Three strangers strike up a conversation in the airport passenger lounge in Bozeman, Montana, awaiting their flights.

   One is an American Indian passing through from Lame Deer. Another is a Cowboy on his way to Billings for a livestock show and the  Third passenger is a fundamentalist Arab student, newly arrived at Montana State University from the Middle East.

   Their discussion drifts to their diverse cultures. Soon, the two Westerners learn that the Arab is a devout, radical Muslim and the conversation falls into an uneasy lull.

  The cowboy leans back in his chair, crosses his boots on a magazine table And tips his big sweat-stained hat forward over his face. The wind outside is blowing tumbleweeds around, and the old windsock is flapping; but still no plane comes.

  Finally, the American Indian clears his throat and softly he speaks, "At one time here, my people were many, but sadly, now we are few."

   The Muslim student raises an eyebrow and leans forward, "Once my people were few," he sneers, "and now we are many. Why do you suppose that is?"

  The Montana cowboy shifts his toothpick to one side of his mouth and from the darkness beneath his Stetson says in a drawl, "That's 'cause we ain't played Cowboys and Muslims yet, but I do believe it's a-comin'.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A musical director was having a lot of trouble with one drummer.  He
talked and talked and talked with the drummer, but his performance
simply didn't improve.

Finally, before the whole orchestra, he said, "When a musician just
can't handle his instrument and doesn't improve when given help, they
take away the instrument, and give him two sticks, and make him a
drummer."

A stage whisper was heard from the percussion section: "And if he can't
handle even that, they take away one of his sticks and make him a
conductor."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome.
One has a cross in front of him; the other one the Star of David.
Many people go by and look at both beggars, but only put money
into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross.
A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving money
to the beggar behind the cross,
but none give to the beggar behind the Star of David.
Finally, the priest goes over to the beggar behind the Star of David and says,
"My poor fellow, don't you understand?? This is a Catholic country, this
city is the seed of Catholicism. People aren't going to give you money if
you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you're
sitting beside a beggar who has a cross. In fact, they would probably give
to him just out of spite."
The beggar behind the 'Star of David' listened to the priest, turned to the
other beggar with the cross and said:
"Moishe, look who's trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A fellow took his blonde girlfriend to the movies. During the previews, she asked
him if he would go and buy her some M & Ms.
When he returned with her candy, she opened the bag, picked out
all the brown ones and threw them away.
"What did you do that for?" he asked her.
"I'm allergic to chocolate!" she replied.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man walks into the dentist office and lies in the chair...  The dentist comes in and proceeds to do an examination. 
In the middle of the exam, the man tells the dentist he apologizes that he has just had lunch
and did not have time to brush his teeth before the appointment as he was running a bit late.
The dentist tells him, "That's OK.  I understand.  I just had to use the bathroom and didn't have time to wash my hands." 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia. The doctor gave him
a thorough examination, found absolutely nothing physically wrong
with him, and then told him,  "Listen, if you ever expect to cure
your insomnia, you just have to stop taking your trouble to bed with you."
"I know" said the man, "but I can't. My wife refuses to sleep alone."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Before the egg hunt on Easter Sunday, the young farm boy decided to play
a prank. He went to the chicken coop and replaced every single egg with
a brightly colored one.
-
A few minutes later the rooster walked in saw all the colored eggs and
then stormed outside and killed the pet peacock.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
KIDS
The principal was visiting the kindergarten class, as was his daily
habit. The teacher was teaching the children about colors. She asked
the class if anyone knew what color one got when one mixed blue and yellow.
One kid immediately yelled out, "Green!" The teacher, shocked at the
child's quick and correct answer, asked how he knew.
The child replied, "My mommy puts this blue stuff into the potty, and
when I do a pee pee it turns green."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two golden-agers were discussing their husbands over lunch. "I do
wish that my John would stop biting his nails.  He makes me terribly nervous."
My Fred used to do the same thing," the other old girl replied.  "But
I broke him of the habit."
"Really, how?" asked the first woman.
"Easy, I hid his teeth."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When my father-in-law passed away, we had to clear out his home.We discarded many items and sold some others, but my husband decided to keep the beautiful but very heavy antique dining-room set.

Our teenaged son helped us wrestle the set into our pickup truck. It took the whole day, but finally the table, chairs, and china cabinet were sitting in our own dining room.

"Just think," I said as I admired the furniture while my son sat resting. "This set is 100 years old. And one of these days, it will belong to you."

"Oh, no!" he replied with a stricken look on his face. "You mean I'm going to have to move this thing AGAIN?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
About eight years ago, in the hallway of the felony court, I
happened to meet a Detroit police officer I knew, whose duty was
as a court officer in the lower court.

I asked him what he was doing there.

My friend told me that he was a witness in a robbery case. Two
armed men had robbed a homeowner in Detroit. They had knocked on
the door of the house.

When the owner came to the door, they went into the "your-money-or-
your-life" routine.

The homeowner said he would get the money and closed and locked
the door. He retrieved some money, opened the door, and gave it
to the robbers.

While I was laughing, my friend says, "Wait, it gets better!"

The homeowner called the police, who arrested one of the robbers. At
the culprit's preliminary examination (to determine whether there
is enough evidence to charge the defendant with a felony), the
homeowner is asked to identify the defendant.

This was in my friend's courtroom, and why he was a witness in
the felony court.

The prosecutor says to the homeowner, "Do you see either of the
men who robbed you in court, today?"

The victim says, "Yes, one of the men is sitting at the counsel
table with his attorney, wearing a grey sweater. . . . and the
other one is sitting there in the audience."

Sure, enough, the idiot had come to court for his accomplice's
hearing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One day while we were studying the solar system in my fifth-grade
class one of the students posed an intriguing question about comets.
Because I like to show the class that learning is a fun, lifelong
process, I told the young gal, "That's an excellent question. I
don't know the answer.  I wonder where we could find out."

Her response was sincere disbelief. "You don't know? I thought
teachers were supposed to know *everything*!"

A slow grin crept over my face as I prepared to give my "learning
is a life-long process" speech.  But before I could get a word
out a student from across the room blurted out, "Yeah, but he's
only a fifth-grade teacher."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Joe was having a drink at a local pub with his good buddy, Billy.
Billy noticed an impressive new watch on Joe's wrist and asked,
"Where did you get that gold watch Joe?"

"I won it in a race," answered Joe.

"Wow, that's great!" said Billy. "How many people participated in
the race?"

"Three," explained Joe, "A policeman, the owner of the jewelry
store, and me!!!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IT WAS MY MOTHER'S BIRTHDAY, and family members had bought some
shade trees for her yard as a gift. I have an ancient convertible,
so I was sent to pick them up. I put the top down, and the
nurseryman loaded the eight-foot trees into the car. Sitting
under a canopy of leaves, I drove off. When I stopped for a red
light, the driver of the car in the next lane gave me a startled
glance. "Lady," he called over, "wouldn't it be a lot easier just
to put up the top for some shade?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was on vacation, playing the slot machines. It was my first time
in a casino, and I wasn't sure how the machines operated. "Excuse
me," I said to a casino employee. "How does this work?"

The worker showed me how to insert a bill, hit the spin button
and operate the release handle.

"And where does the money come out?" I asked.

He smiled and motioned to a far wall before saying, "Usually
the ATM."

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**** ON THIS DAY ****

The Rock Club

One night when I was in second grade, I saw something on the news
that really bothered me. It was about a group of homeless people
sleeping outside in the cold, with nowhere to go for warmth and
comfort. I felt sorry for them, and I wanted to help.
So I decided to start a club. The goal was to raise money to help
the homeless. I called it the Rock Club. When I first started, we
only had about five members, but that quickly grew to about twenty.
It wasn't hard to get people to join the club. I hardly had to ask
anybody if they wanted to be a member. In fact, they came up to me
and just asked me if they could join!
We spent all of our free time at recess painting rocks. We painted
animals, flowers and shapes - even names of sports teams. We all
just worked on whatever we felt like painting.
We'd go around the school in search of teachers who would buy our
rocks and use them as paperweights. We sold the rocks for five
cents, ten cents and even up to twenty cents each. We painted one
huge rock with polka dots that sold for five bucks! By Christmas, we
had raised thirty-three dollars. We decided to give the money to a
local homeless shelter.
My mom offered to take my friend and me to the shelter to deliver
the money. When we pulled up, we noticed that there were whole
families sitting on the snowy sidewalk. As we went into the
building, I could not get the picture of what I had just seen out of
my mind. I kept thinking about the little children, and all of the
men and women with nowhere to sleep.
When we got inside, we met the lady at the front desk and gave her
the money that the club had earned. She seemed really grateful for
our donation. She invited us to take a tour of the shelter. I had
never seen a real homeless shelter before, so I wanted to see the
inside. As we toured the building, what really got to me were the
rows and rows of tables set up to feed the hungry. There must have
been over one hundred tables in there. In the kitchen, the helpers
were making what seemed like endless rows of gingerbread men. It was
amazing to me that for every gingerbread man, the shelter was
expecting a person in need for dinner and shelter that night.
As we were leaving the homeless shelter, I saw a man sitting on the
snow-covered pavement. He was wearing a dirty, dark green coat and
black pants that were covered in mud. He was clutching to his side a
Christmas tree covered with red ornaments. I felt so sorry for him
because he had nowhere else to put a tree except the streets where
he lived. It made me realize that even someone with no home, or
money for presents, still wanted to have a Christmas.
The next day there was picture of that same man in the newspaper. I
knew his image would stay with me forever. I hoped that his picture
also reminded others about how much help the homeless people need,
and that we should remember them all year - not only at Christmas.
A few days later, a newspaper reporter and a photographer came to
our school and took a picture of our Rock Club members. The photo
and article came out in the paper the next day. We all felt proud
that we had done something that gave more attention to the needs of
the homeless in our town.
Our school decided that what we did was really great, so they
started a program just for kids. Now kids at our school are helping
the homeless shelter and other organizations that help people in
need.
Something as simple as some rocks, some paint and a few caring kids
made me realize that you're never too young - and you don't need
much - to make a difference.
by Vanessa Clayton, age 14

**** HEADS UP FOLKS ****
These Are My Causes Please Help

This is a link for FREE virus protection
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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation 
http://www.organdonor.gov/

It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a mammogram"
for free (pink window in the middle). This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammogram
in exchange for advertising.
 
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know. 
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com
&
The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to  click on it daily to meet their quota
of getting free food donated  every day to abused and neglected animals. It takes less than a  minute to go
to their site and click on "feed an animal in need"  for free! This doesn't cost you a thing! Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate food to abandoned/neglected animals in exchange
for advertising. 
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know!
 http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com

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Thoughts or Comments
jokes or stories
U Send'em and I'll print'em
Just keep it clean.A lota kids read this
jim4615@earthlink.net
Subject Line--- The Funnies
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Dana's death hits home

NASCAR stars share sympathy for IRL driver.

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Bump boosts Kurt Busch

Late-race shove of Kenseth seals victory in Bristol wreckfest.

Story

Kyle Busch edges Harvick

Biffle's tire trouble opens door to Busch Series win at Bristol.

Story