Welcome New Subscribers
Anyone without a sense of humor is at the mercy
of the rest of us. Heaven Help Them
Remember,it is easier to get older
than it is to get wiser

TGIF
FRIDAY JUNE ,2006


THOUGHT FOR TODAY: There are more men than women in mental hospitals - which just goes to show who's driving who crazy.

A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of
sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his
ability at getting the ship under way. With a stream of crisp
commands, he had the decks buzzing with men and soon, the
ship had left port and was streaming out of the channel.

The ensign's efficiency has been remarkable. In fact, the deck
was abuzz with talk that he had set a new record for getting a
destroyer under way. The ensign glowed at his
accomplishment and was not all surprised when another
seaman approached him with a message from the captain.

He was, however, a bit surprised to find that it was a radio
message, and he was even more surprised when he read, "My
personal congratulations upon completing your underway
preparation exercise according to the book and with amazing
speed. In your haste, however, you have overlooked one of the
unwritten rules -- make sure the captain is aboard before
getting under way."
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
FHA Loan

Everyone who has ever bought a house can enjoy this - it's too good  not
to share!

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA loan for a client. He  was told
the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title  to a
parcel of property being offered as collateral. The title to the
property dated back to 1803, which took the Lawyer three months to track
down. After sending the information to the FHA, he received the
following reply (actual letter):

"Upon review of your letter adjoining your client's loan application, 
we note
that the request is supported by an Abstract of Title. While we 
compliment
the able manner in which you have prepared and presented the 
application,
we must point out that you have only cleared title to the proposed 
collateral
property back to 1803. Before final approval can be accorded, it will 
be necessary
to clear the title back to its origin."

Annoyed, the lawyer responded as follows (actual letter):

"Your  letter regarding title in Case No. 189156 has been received. I 
note that you
wish to have title extended further than the 194 years covered by the 
present  application.
I was unaware that any educated person in this country,  particularly 
those working in
the property area, would not know that  Louisiana was purchased, by the 
U.S., from
France in 1803, the year of origin identified in our application. For 
the edification of
uninformed FHA bureaucrats, the title to the land prior to U.S.
ownership was obtained from France, which had acquired it by Right of
Conquest from Spain. The land came into the possession of Spain by Right
of Discovery made in the year 1492 by a sea captain named Christopher
Columbus, who had been granted the privilege of seeking a new route to
India by the Spanish monarch, Isabella. The good queen, Isabella, being
pious woman and almost as careful about titles as the FHA,  took the
precaution of securing the blessing of the Pope before she sold her
jewels to finance Columbus' expedition. Now the Pope, as I'm sure you
may know, is the emissary of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, and God, it
is commonly accepted, created this world. Therefore, I believe it is
safe to presume that God also made that part of the world called
Louisiana. God, therefore, would be the owner of origin and His origins
date back, to before the beginning of time, the world as we know it AND
the FHA. I hope the hell you find God's original claim to be
satisfactory. Now, may we have our damn loan?"

The loan was approved.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Aging

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, 
the good
fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the 
difference.

Now that I'm 'older' (but refuse to grow up), here's what I've 
discovered:

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.

3. I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.

4. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...

4. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...

5. All reports are in; life is now officially unfair.

6. If all is not lost, where is it?

7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

8. Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.

9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few...

10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in 
the
bathroom.

14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my 
knees.

15. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to 
play
chess?

16. It's not hard to meet expenses... they're everywhere.

17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter ..
      I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here 
after.

19. I AM UNABLE TO REMEMBER IF I HAVE MAILED THIS TO YOU OR NOT!

20. Funny, I don't remember being, . . . absent minded...
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
The makers of French's Mustard made the following recent statement:

"We at the French's Company wish to put an end to statements that our 
product is manufactured in France. There is no relationship, nor has 
there ever been a relationship, between our mustard and the country of 
France. Indeed, our mustard is manufactured in Rochester, NY. The only 
thing we have in common is that we are both yellow."

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
TO: Tom Ridge, Dept. of Homeland Security

Dear Mr. Ridge:

I am writing to you for further instructions as to what the next
step is for me to take in protecting my family from possible attacks by 
terrorists.

I have my duck taped ... now what?
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
One day a sweet little girl becomes puzzled about her origin. "How
did I get here, Mommy?" she asks.

Her mother replies, using a well-worn phrase, "God sent you, Honey."

"And did God send you too, Mommy?" she continues.

"Yes, Sweetheart, he did."

"And Daddy, and Grandma and Grandpa, and their moms and dads too?"

"Yes, Honey, all of them, too."

The child shakes her head in disbelief. "Then you're telling me
there's been no sex in this family for over 150 years? No wonder
everyone is so grouchy!"
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
  New Ponderings by George Carlin

  1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
  2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
  3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
  4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
  5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
  6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
  7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
  8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
  9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we're already 
there?
  10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
  11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?
  12. Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
  13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
  14. Why do "overlook" & "oversee" mean opposite things?
  15. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
  16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?
  17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
  18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
  19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
  20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
  21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you
  know the batteries are dead?
  22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
  23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
  24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
  25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
  26. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
  27. Christmas is weird. What other time of the year do you sit in 
front of
  a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
A nun was going to Chicago. She went to the airport and sat down 
waiting for her flight. She looked over in the corner and saw one of 
those weight machines that tell your fortune. So, she thought to 
herself "I'll
give it a try just to see what it tells me."

She went over to the machine and put her nickel in, and out came a card 
that said, "You're a nun you weigh 128 lb. and you are going to 
Chicago, Illinois."  She sat back down and thought about it. She told 
herself it probably tells everyone the same thing, but decided to try 
it again.

She went back to the machine and put her nickel in. Out came a card 
that read, "You're a nun, you weigh 128 lb., you're going to Chicago, 
Illinois and you are going to play a fiddle."  The nun said to herself, 
"I know that's wrong, I have never played a musical instrument a day in 
my life."  She sat down again. From nowhere, a cowboy came over and set 
his fiddle case down next to her. The nun picked up the fiddle and just 
started playing beautiful music.

Startled, she looked back at the machine and said, "This is 
incredible.. I've got to try it again," Back to the machine. She put 
her nickel in and another card came out. It said, "You're a nun, you 
weigh 128 lbs., you're going to Chicago, Illinois and you're going to 
break wind."

Now, the nun knows the machine is wrong; "I've never broke wind in 
public a day in my life!"  Well, she tripped, fell off the scales and 
accidentally broke wind.  Stunned, she sat back down and looked at the 
machine. She said to herself, "This is truly unbelievable! I've got to 
try it again.."

She went back to the machine, put her nickel in and collected the card. 
  It said, "You're a nun, you weigh 128 lbs., you have fiddled and 
farted around and missed your flight to Chicago."
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Many thoughts at large

1.. I was thinking about one of the status symbols of today -- those 
pagers
that everyone has clipped on. I can't afford one, so I'm wearing my 
garage
door opener.

2.. I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on
beer cans!

3.. I was thinking about old age and decided that it is when you still 
have
something on the ball but you are just too tired to bounce it.

4.. I thought about making a movie for folks my age and call it 
"Pumping Rust"

5.. I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease....that's when your 
chest
is falling into your drawers!

6.. You know when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, 
have
you got a cat?" Just once I wanted to say, "No, it's for company!"

7.. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny 
spoons
and forks so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Perhaps toothpicks?

8.. Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in 
case
of an emergency. I think you should write . . . A Good Doctor!

9.. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?  What 
are
we supposed to do . . . write to these people? Why don't they just put 
their
pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while
they deliver the mail?

10.. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot
more as they get older; then it dawned on me, they are cramming for 
their
finals.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Caine Mind Games:

After your humans give you a bath, DON'T LET THEM TOWEL DRY YOU!
Instead, run to their bed, jump up and dry yourself off on the sheets.

When your humans come home, put your ears back, tail between your legs,
chin down and act as if you have done something really bad. Then, watch
as the humans frantically search the house for the damage.

Let the humans teach you a brand new trick. Learn it perfectly, but when
they try to show it to a friend, stare at them blankly.

When humans take you for a walk, sniff around the entire yard as your
humans wait. Act as if the spot you choose will ultimately decide the
fate of the earth.

When out on a walk in a city, always pick the busiest most visible spot
to go--especially if your human has forgotten to bring a plastic bag.

When out for a walk, alternate between choking and coughing every time a
strange human walks by.

Make your own rules. Don't always bring back the stick when playing
fetch with the humans. Make them go and chase it once in a while.

When your humans come home, don't greet them at the door. Instead, hide
until they think something terrible has happened to you. Then jump out
loudly at them.

When your human calls you to come back in, always take your time.
Walking more and more slowly the closer you get to the
door.

Wake up twenty minutes before the alarm clock is set to go off and make
the humans take you out. As soon as you get back inside, fall asleep.
(Humans can rarely fall back asleep after
going outside.)

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Fred - The Ole Fritzbear

As President Bush gets off the helicopter in front of the White
House, he is carrying a baby pig under each arm.
The squared away Marine guard snaps to attention, salutes, and
says:
 
"Nice pigs, sir."
 
The President replies: "These are not
pigs, these are authentic
Razorback Hogs. I got one for Senator Ted Kennedy, and I got one
for Senator John Kerry.
 
The squared away Marine again snaps to attention, salutes, and
says, "Nice trade, sir."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A drunk is sitting at the bar having a drink. He has a box resting on the bar in front of him.
A guy asks him, "What do you have in there, pal?"
"A mongoose."
"What for?"
"Well, you know how I get carried away sometimes and drink too much. When I get drunk
I see snakes, and I'm scared to death of snakes. That's why I got this mongoose, for protection."
"You idiot!" the other guy says. "Those are imaginary snakes."
"That's okay," whispers the drunk, showing his friend the empty interior of the box, "so is the mongoose."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When we moved into our new house 15 years ago, the dishwasher wasn't working. My mother would occasionally come over to watch my 2 sons, then 8 & 9. After awhile we replaced the broken dishwasher. The next time my mother came over she had given some snacks to the boys. After they ate, she proceeded to wash the dishes by hand. My 8 year old looked at her and said "Grandma, we have a new dishwasher, we don't need an old one".
To this day my mother still repeats the story.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"On this day in 1844 the Young Men's Christian Association,  
the YMCA, was founded. It was founded by a small group of  
friends: a construction worker, an Indian chief, a cop, a  
soldier, a cowboy...they all met at a disco." --Jay Leno   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"President Bush was in Nebraska yesterday speaking about  
immigration. To the people in Nebraska immigration means  
moving to Iowa." --Conan O'Brien   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Are you excited about the World Cup? Of course not. You're  
Americans. We could care less." --David Letterman  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A young couple came into the church office to fill out a  
pre-marriage questionnaire form. The young man, who had  
never talked to a pastor before, was quite nervous and  
the pastor tried to put him at ease. When they came to the  
question, "Are you entering this marriage of your own free  
will?"  

There was a long pause. Finally, the girl looked over at  
the apprehensive young man and said, "Put down 'yes.'"   
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
John was furious when his steak arrived too rare. "Waiter,"  
he shouted, "Didn't you hear me say, 'well done'?"  

"Oh, thank you, sir," replied the waiter. "I hardly ever get  
a compliment." 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A teenager who had just received her learner's permit offered to drive
her
parents to church. After a wild ride, they finally reached their
destination. The driver's mother got out of the car and said,
"Thank
you."

"Anytime," her daughter replied.

As the woman slammed the door, she said, "I wasn't talking to you. I
was
talking to God."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A patient had been diagnosed with a strange disease, not frequently

seen in the United States. He complained to his doctor, "I've been to
three other doctors and none of them agreed with your diagnosis. One
said
it was tuberculosis, and one said that it was possibly a tumor, but he'd

have to run some tests to prove if it was malignancy or not."

The doctor calmly replied, "Just wait until the autopsy, then
they'll
see that I was right."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was talking on the phone with my son, who was stationed in Hawaii
with
the Air Force. He was explaining how the troops were learning to
scuba-dive. "We used the buddy system," he said, "and occasionally dived

into shark-infested waters."

Listening on the extension, my daughter asked, "What do you do if
you
see a shark?"

My son said, "Swim faster than my buddy."

**** Quickies ****

Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations.
~
Baloney is flattery so thick it cannot be true; blarney is flattery so thin we like it 
~
Wedding rings do help turn night owls into homing pigeons.
~
Mary Jane claims she's just turned thirty--it must have been a U turn.
~
Jim claims he took his piano lessons through a correspondence course. He must have lost a lot of lessons in the mail.
~
The most perfect political community is one in which the middle class is in control, and outnumbers both of the other classes.
~
The size of your body is of little account; the size of your brain is of much account; the size of your heart is of the most account of all.

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**** HEALTH NEWS ****

Scientists find a new way to build bone  

STANFORD, Calif., -- Howard Hughes Medical Institute re-  
searchers at Stanford University say they have increased  
bone mass in mice by tweaking a regulatory protein. Dr.  
Gerald Crabtree and pre-doctoral fellow Monte Winslow  
report slightly increasing the activity of a protein call-  
ed NFATc1 causes massive bone accumulation, suggesting  
NFATc1 or other proteins that regulate its activity will  
make good targets for drugs to treat osteoporosis. In  
vertebrates, bone is constantly being formed and broken  
down throughout life. Cells called osteoclasts continuous-  
ly degrade bone, while cells called osteoblasts replenish  
it. "Ideally, they are perfectly balanced," said Crabtree,  
the senior author of the study. "Over the course of a  
lifetime, if everything goes well, we'll maintain almost  
exactly identical bone mass." But if the balance is upset,  
and more bone is destroyed than formed, osteoporosis  
results, increasing the risk of fractures. "If you could  
find a small molecule that would flip 10 percent of the  
existing NFATc into the active form, you could favor the  
formation of osteoblasts and make stronger bones," said  
Crabtree. The research is reported in the journal  
Developmental Cell.   

AIDS pill makes treatment easier  

MIAMI, -- AIDS specialists in the United States are test-  
ing a once-a-day pill that may prevent HIV from becoming  
full-blown AIDS. Three drugs -- Emtriva, Viread and  
Sustiva -- make up the once-a-day pill that is currently  
being tested in a nationwide clinical trial, the South  
Florida Sun-Sentinel reported. One patient in South  
Florida said the drugs have so reduced his level of HIV  
that it's undetectable in his blood, although still there.  
Doctors say making the medications easy to take is crucial  
to beating the virus. Because HIV mutates, missing even 8  
percent of doses can let a new version of the virus grow  
that is immune to the medications. The once-daily pill was  
first proposed in 2004 by Gilead Sciences and Bristol-Myers  
Squibb, the newspaper said. Doctors say the single pill is  
not right for patients who are already resistant to the  
drugs, whose virus is unstable, who have liver or kidney  
problems or who are pregnant.   

Drug-makers going after cancer  

ATLANTA, -- Pharmaceutical companies are carrying out clin-  
ical trials of about 400 cancer drugs, the U.S. Pharmaceu-  
tical Research and Manufacturers Association says. The num-  
ber of drugs in the pipeline is good news for patients  
because it increases the chance of finding ones that work  
in a specific case and because increased competition gives  
companies an incentive to reduce side effects, The New York  
Times reported. "From the standpoint of the patients there  
is never too many," Dr. Robert J. Motzer, a kidney cancer  
specialist at Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center, told  
the newspaper. Many of the new drugs are targeted towards  
specific cancers, making them potentially more effective.  
Doctors got briefings on new treatments at the annual meet-  
ing of the American Society of Clinical Oncology. In the  
past, pharmaceutical companies have preferred to develop  
drugs for chronic diseases, leaving cancer to biotechnology  
firms and government-backed researchers. But some of the  
new drugs effectively turn cancer into a chronic disease,  
the Wall Street Journal reported. It cited Gleevec, a drug  
developed by Novartis that has greatly increased the  
survival rate for two rare cancers.  



**** Reader's Submissions ****

Why I Love Him

This story is an incredible example of how the Spirit of the Lord moves in mysterious ways. If you ever hear such prodding, go along with it. Nothing is ever hurt by prayer except the gates of hell.
**** HEADS UP FOLKS ****
These Are My Causes Please Help

This is a link for FREE virus protection
http://avast.com
It is excellent.  I use it myself
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation 
http://www.organdonor.gov/

It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a mammogram"
for free (pink window in the middle). This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammogram
in exchange for advertising.
 
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know. 
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com
&
The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to  click on it daily to meet their quota
of getting free food donated  every day to abused and neglected animals. It takes less than a  minute to go
to their site and click on "feed an animal in need"  for free! This doesn't cost you a thing! Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate food to abandoned/neglected animals in exchange
for advertising. 
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know!
 http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is a link for FREE virus protection
http://avast.com
It is excellent
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thoughts or Comments
jokes or stories
U Send'em and I'll print'em
Just keep it clean.A lota kids read this
jim4615@earthlink.net
Subject Line--- The Funnies
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 **** MOTOR SPORTS NEWS ****

Stay-put time for Stewart?

Hornish on Texas pole

Indy 500 champ outruns Wheldon in IRL qualifying.

Story

Skinner streaks to pole

Claims fourth straight Trucks Series pole position in Texas.

Story

Younger Rahal in gear

Bobby's son Graham, 17, to make Pro Series debut at Indy.

Story

Subscribe Today: Home Delivery of USA TODAY - Save 35%

**** COUNTRY CALENDAR ****


1941 Vernon Oxford born near Rogers, Arkansas  
  
1951 Tony Rice born in Danvillle, Virginia  

1981 Fiddler Sara Watkins of Nickel Creek born  
  
1959 Stonewall Jackson's #1 single "Waterloo" charted  

1963 Johnny Cash's #1 single "Ring of Fire" charted  
  
1974 Dolly Parton's "I Will Always Love You" goes #1  
  
1939 The Coon Creek Girls performed at the White House  
for King George VI & Queen Elizabeth of England  
  
1964 Alton Delmore, age 55, died in Huntsville, Alabama  
  
1986 Roba Stanley, the first woman to record country  
music, died in Gainsville, Florida at the age of 76  
  
1963 Lester Flatt Day declared in the State of Tennessee  
  
1936 The Carter Family recorded "My Dixie Darling" at  
their first Decca session  

1937 Bob Wills recorded "Never No More Hard Times Blues"  
  
1938 The Carter Family recorded "You Are My Flower"   


 **** COUNTRY MUSIC NEWS ****

June 8, 2006: Loretta Lynn broke her shoulder in a fall at her Tennessee home last weekend, causing her to need surgery and cancel tour dates, according to her web site. While at her Hurricane Mills, Tenn. home last Sunday Lynn accidentally fell leading to the break. Lynn underwent shoulder joint replacement surgery at a Nashville area hospital. Due to her injury, nine tour dates in June and July were cancelled. Plans to reschedule cancelled concerts are underway with new dates to be announced soon.

 
Starstruck Reopens Management, Signs Blake Shelton  

Narvel Blackstock, husband and manager of Reba McEntire, has  
reopened a management branch of Starstruck Entertainment  
with Blake Shelton as its first client. Blackstock will con-  
tinue to manage McEntire as well. Starstruck has operated  
since 1987, but Blackstock closed the management division  
of the company in 1998 to focus on McEntire's career.  
Brandon Blackstock, who is Narvel's son, has joined the  
company as manager. He was employed as Rascal Flatts' tour  
manager for the past four years.   


Jeff Foxworthy Returns to Host 2007 CMT Music Awards  

Jeff Foxworthy has signed on to host the 2007 CMT Music  
Awards show scheduled for April 16 at The Curb Event  
Center at Nashville's Belmont University. It marks the  
third consecutive year Foxworthy has hosted country  
music's only fan-voted awards show. Production is  
scheduled to begin this month in Atlanta for the comic's  
new CMT series, Foxworthy's Big Night Out. The 12-episode  
series premieres in September.  


**** Amy's Kitchen ****