Archives at Zinester: The Daily Funnies. The Funnies. Humor & Jokes

From Carlisle ,Indiana
U.S.A.
Welcome to The Funnies

"Friends are God's way of taking care of us."
These are clean jokes. However,
They are,
PG - Not intended for younger readers - PG

Welcome New Subscribers
Anyone without a sense of humor is at the mercy
of the rest of us. Heaven Help Them
Remember,it is easier to get older
than it is to get wiser

TUESDAY JUNE 20,2006

THOUGHT FOR TODAY: Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.

"The Twenty Dollar Bill"

There was this 20 dollar bill and a 1 dollar bill on the conveyor belt
at the downtown Federal Reserve Building. As they were lying there side
by side the $1 dollar bill said to the 20 dollar bill, "Hey mannnnnn, where
have you been. I haven't seen you in a long time ?"

The 20 dollar bill replied, "Man I have been having a ball! I been
traveling to distant countries, going to the finest restaurants, to
the biggest and best casinos, numerous boutiques, the mall uptown, the
mall downtown, the mall across town and even a mall that I just newly
built. "In fact, just this week I've been to Europe, a professional NBA
game, rodeo, the all-day retreat spa, the top-notch hair salon and the new casino!
I have done it all!!!"

After describing his great travels, the 20 dollar bill asked the 1
dollar bill, "What about you? Where have you been?"

The 1 dollar bill replied, "Well, I've been to the Baptist church,
the Methodist church, the Presbyterian church, the Episcopalian church,
the Church of God in Christ, the Catholic church, the Mormon church,
the Disciple of Christ church, the..."

"WAIT A MINUTE! WAIT A MINUTE!!" shouted the 20 dollar bill to the
1 dollar bill. "What's a church?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An account executive at a stock-and-bond firm telephoned an elderly
woman client who had purchased her first stock - one hundred shares of
Proctor & Gamble. He told her that he had just heard they were going to
split.

"Oh! What a shame." she lamented. "I'm so sorry to hear that. And,
they've been together for so long too."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did you hear about the 2 guys who decided to try duck hunting? They
bought new outfits & equipment, and went out to a place in the woods
where they heard the hunting was really good. But after several hours of
thrashing through the woods, one fellow said, "I don't know about this.
We've been out here all day and haven't caught a single duck. Do you
think we're doing something wrong?"

"I don't know," replied the other." Maybe we're not throwing the dog up
high enough."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Recently in Traffic Court a man who received an expensive parking ticket
testified that a uniformed Policeman had given his OK for the man to
park there.

The Judge asked the man if he would recognize the Officer if he ever saw
him again, and the man replied that he would.

The Judge then said, "Good. When you see the Officer again, tell him he
owes you $57. Next..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Judge Not"

I was shocked, confused, bewildered
as I entered Heaven's door,
Not by the beauty of it all,
by the lights or its decor.

But it was the folks in Heaven
who made me sputter and gasp--
the thieves, the liars, the sinners,
the alcoholics, the trash.

There stood the kid from seventh grade
who swiped my lunch money twice.
Next to him was my old neighbor
who never said anything nice.

Herb, who I always thought
was rotting away in hell,
was sitting pretty on cloud nine,
looking incredibly well.

I nudged Jesus, "What's the deal?
I would love to hear Your take.
How'd all these sinners get up here?
God must've made a mistake.

And why's everyone so quiet,
so somber? Give me a clue."
"Hush, child," said He. "They're all in shock.
No one thought they'd see you."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jill went to see her family doctor about her husband John. "For the
first twenty years, he was fine Doc, not nervous or jumpy at all. Then
for the next 10 years, he's been irritable, jumpy and fidgety. And now
the last 5 years, he's been awful jumpy and nervous. He can't sit still
in the same room with me for even 5 minutes. I don't know what to do for
him. Can you help?"

"What your husband needs is a little rest, Jill. Here is a sleeping
pill."

"Oh, Thank you Doctor. A million thanks to you. And when do I give him
the medicine?"

"Not HIM, Jill, YOU take it."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mommy has told her little girl all about the making of babies.

Little Annie is now silent for a while.

"You understand it now?" Mommy asks.

"Yes," replies her daughter.

"Do you still have any questions?"

"Yes, how about little kittens? How does that work?"

"In exactly the same way as with babies."

"Wow!" the girl exclaims. "My daddy can do ANYTHING!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While I was working in the men's section of a department store, a
woman asked me to help her choose a white dress shirt for her husband.
When I asked about his size, the woman looked stumped at first,
then her face brightened. She held up her hands, forming a circle with
her forefingers and thumbs.
"I don't know his size" she said, but my hands fit perfectly
around his neck."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman goes to her lawyer to ask about getting a divorce. The
lawyer asks, "Does he beat you?"
"No, he does not."
"Does he keep you short of money?"
"No, he does not."
"Is he a perpetual drunkard?"
"No, he is not."
"Is he unfaithful to you?"
"Ahhh, we've got him there. He was not the father of my last
child."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Three convicts escape from prison. They make it to a nearby town but are confronted by a policeman.

"Hey, aren't you those three escaped convicts?", asked the policeman.

Thinking on his feet the first convict looked around him and said "no, I'm Mark, Mark Spencer",

The second followed his lead and said "My names is William, W H Smith".

The third-A&M grad-said "My name is Ken..... Tucky Fried Chicken."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"ATTITUDE"

There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head.

"Well," she said, "I think I'll braid my hair today. So she did and she had a wonderful day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head.

"H-M-M", she said, "I think I'll part my hair down the middle today." So she did and she had a grand day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head.

"Well," she said, "Today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail." So she did and she had a fun, fun day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head.

"YEAH!" she exclaimed, "I don't have to fix my hair today!"

Attitude is everything.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The whole neighborhood shook from the explosion. As shopkeepers ran outside to see what happened, they spotted the pharmacist staggering out of his smoldering building.

His white uniform was now scorched black. He went up to a woman standing nearby.

"Lady!" he said, "Would you please ask your doctor to write that prescription again. And this time, PRINT IT!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My mother and I returned to my parents' house late one evening to find
my father, my college-age brother, Steven, and my ten-year-old sister
fast asleep.

Mom had forgotten her house keys, so we knocked loudly, first at the
back door and then the front and side doors. We yelled my father's name
over and over, with no answer. The car horn aroused the neighbors but
no one at our house. We drove into town and phoned home, finally waking
Steven.

When we got back, he let us in. Dad was in bed, snoring, with the
television on. Mom quietly switched it off. Dad woke right up.

"Don't turn that off," he said. "I'm watching it!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A truck driver was tooling down the highway
one afternoon and heard a "pop." Thinking
that perhaps he had blown a tire, he steered
the rig onto the shoulder and walked back to
check his tires.

He found a bottle laying in the gutter. He picked
it up and wiped off the label to see what kind of
bottle it was when a very old genie popped out.

The genie said, "Man, I'm too old for this! You
get one wish--not three--just one."

The driver thought long and hard, and finally
said, "It would be really nice for all the bridges
to be wide enough that over-sized loads could
get through without any trouble."

The genie said, "Do you know how many bridges
that would be?! Can't you come up with something
simpler?"

The driver replied, "How about if you make all
the blondes as smart as brunettes?"

The genie shook his head vigorously and
answered, "How wide would you like those
bridges?"

**** Quickies ****

The boxing match I went to was so short that when they raised the winner's arm, I thought it was a deodorant commercial.
~
It is a good idea to shop around before you settle on a doctor. Ask about the condition of his Mercedes. Ask about the competence of his mechanic. Don't be shy! After all, you're paying for it. ~Dave Barry~
~
Sale sign in a pet store: "Need a good, sympathetic companion? A basset hound puppy is all ears!"
~
They have a great new prescription drug. It doesn't make you relaxed. It just makes you enjoy being tense.
~
A lady on a commuter train was reading a newspaper article about life and death statistics. Fascinated, she turned to the man next to her and asked, "Did you know that every time I breathe somebody dies?"

"Really," he said, "have you tried mouthwash?"
~
The weather around here has been so warm that I actually bought a new bathing suit. It's a three piece bikini. Two pieces for me, and a blindfold for you.
~
O'Malley wheeled his way into the doctor's office for his first physical since his accident. The doctor said, "I just don't know about whether you'll ever walk again."

O'Malley said, "Why don't you put a shot of whiskey on that table over there? If I can't make it, I'm helpless."
~
No wonder there are often quarrels between generations, because the young and old know all the answers and those between are stuck with the questions.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Shirley's ressypees e-zine
We do take requests!! If you are looking for any particular
recipe,
send your request to: mailto:bigguyhereagain@cogeco.ca

SUBSCRIBE RessyPees-subscribe@yahoogroups.com

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
****************************************************
"YOU'RE FIRED! Coz you're too tall to fit your legs under the desk!"
Have you ever heard of news as weird as this?
Send blank email to 46508-subscribe@zinester.com for free subscription of "Weirdo News" now!
****************************************************

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
You can join The Funnies
IT'S FREE
To subscribe, Click on link below
25438-subscribe@zinester.com
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

**** HEALTH NEWS ****

Doctors want tougher salt rules

CHICAGO, -- The American Medical Association, meeting in
Chicago, is considering a call for a 50 percent reduction
in salt in processed foods. The AMA House of Delegates is
expected to vote on a resolution this week that would also
ask the U.S. Food and Drug Administration to demand better
information on salt on labels, the Chicago Tribune reports.
The current recommendation for adults is that salt intake
not exceed 2,300 milligrams a day or less than one-tenth
of an ounce. But the AMA says that most U.S. adults con-
sume more than 4,000 milligrams. Doctors say that high
salt intake contributes to deaths from heart disease and
stroke. Some AMA. members even want the FDA to withdraw
its description of salt as "generally recognized as safe."
"We realize salt is bad even if you don't have high blood
pressure," said Dr. Chris Hawk, a member of the council
that wrote the resolution on salt. "We need to get the
word out to the public, but we need to encourage and work
with the food manufacturers to lower what is generally
accepted."

Home gene tests popular, criticized

WASHINGTON, -- Home genetic testing has become popular in
the United States but some experts say the do-it-yourself
method can provide unsafe and misleading information.
Since the human genetic code was mapped in 2003, a person
wondering whether they have a cancer-causing gene or if
their blood disorder is genetic has been able to check
nearly a dozen Web sites for a mail-order genetic test
instead of into an official medical center. The Washington
Post reports not only are the tests unregulated but the
accuracy of the tests have been called into question, as
have the over-the-phone counseling. Many critics echo a
2004 advisory by the American College of Medical Genetics
which warns against the tests, the newspaper said. One
concern is the tests give a person an unrealistic
impression they either won't or are bound to develop some
ailment, without the counseling needed to properly under-
stand the complicated genetic system. Elissa R. Levin,
clinical director of DNA Direct, told the Post the tests
give anonymity to someone who may want their genetic make-
up mutations private. Levin disputes critics, maintaining
the testing is accurate and the pre- and post- counseling
is comparable to what people receive in a standard medical
facility.

Liking veggies, fruit result of upbringing

LONDON, -- British researchers say they've determined
the liking for vegetables and fruit is determined nearly
entirely by one's upbringing. The Cancer Research U.K.
study reveals a love of foods such as meat and fish is
largely inherited, but ensuring children grow up eating
needed vegetables and fruits means encouraging them to do
so from an early age, the London Daily Mail reported
Wednesday. The researchers also determined one's attrac-
tion to sweets develops neither from genes nor instruc-
tion, but rather from watching parents consuming such
foods. The team studied more than 200 pairs of same-sex
twins to determine whether our taste for foods is
inherited, to shed light on the causes of obesity, and
to understand why some children grow up having unhealthy
diets.

**** Reader's Submissions ****

This is a tribute to America's Fathers by ABC's News Commentator Paul
Harvey! ''

A Father Is

A father is a person who is forced to endure childbirth without an
anesthetic. He growls when he feels good and laughs very loud when he
is scared half-to-death.

A father never feels entirely worthy of the worship in a child's eyes.
He is never quite the hero his daughter thinks. Never quite the man his
son believes him to be. And this worries him sometimes. (So he works
too hard to try to smooth the rough places in the road of those of his
own who will follow him.)

A father is a person who goes to war sometimes ... and would run the
other way except that war is part of his only important job in his
life, (which is making the world better for his child than it has been
for him).

Fathers grow older faster than people, because they, in other wars,
have to stand at the train station and wave goodbye to the uniform that
climbs on board.

And, while mothers cry where it shows, fathers stand and beam --
outside --
and die inside.

Fathers are men who give daughters away to other men, who aren't nearly
good enough, so that they can have children that are smarter than
anybody's.

Fathers fight dragons almost daily. They hurry away from the breakfast
table, off to the arena which is sometimes called an office or a
workshop. There, with callused hands, they tackle the dragon with three
heads; Weariness, Works, and Monotony. And they never quite win the
fight, but they never give up.

Knights in shining armor; fathers in shiny trousers. There's little
difference as they march away each workday.

I don't know where a father goes when he dies, but I've an idea that,
after a good rest, wherever it is, he won't just sit on a cloud and
wait for the girl he's loved and the children she bore. He'll be busy
there too -- repairing the stars, oiling the gates, improving the
streets, smoothing the way.

~by Paul Harvey~
FRED

**** ON THIS DAY ****

A Collection of totally useless facts known as TRIVIA, TRIVIA, TRIVIA . . .. ..tidbits of information about lots of stuff, sent just for the hell of it. Who knows, you might learn something new . . . in any event, I hope you enjoy this once in awhile missive.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

* From development to ejaculation, the lifespan of a sperm is about
2.5 months.

* Qantas, the Australian airline, stands for Queensland and Northern
Territories Aerial Service.

* The Backstreet Boys have sold more than 200 million books worldwide.

* For every older brother a man has, his chances of being gay increase
by one-third.

* The Supremes started out as a quartet known as the Primettes.

* A recent survey showed 75% of women made their bed every day, while
45% of men do so.

* About a quarter of the world still drives on the left side of the road.

* "Synesthesia" is a rare condition where the human senses are
combined. Synesthetes can "see" words, "taste" colors and shapes, and
"feel" flavors.

* It is estimated that around 10% of Americans have picked someone
else's nose.

* In Italy, a man can be arrested if he wears a skirt in public.

* Hugh Hefner had ancestors on the Mayflower.

* At various times, Casanova was employed as a clergyman, secretary,
soldier and violinist.

During World War II, W.C. Fields kept $50,000 in Germany. His reason? "In case the little bastard wins."

The official name for Silly Putty is "Dow Corning Dilatant Compound 3179."

"M*A*S*H" was the first studio film to use the "f" word.

Gorilla penises are just one-third the size of an average man's.

The first magician to saw a woman in half was Count de Grisley. He did the famous illusion in 1799.

At one time, Baskin Robbins made ketchup ice cream.

It's against the law to ride a tricycle faster than 10 m.p.h. in Vancouver, Canada.

* Someone paid $14,000 for the bra Marilyn Monroe wore in "Some Like
It Hot."

* Spanish doubloons were legal tender in the U.S. until 1857.

* On average, it takes two tablespoons of blood to get a man's penis
erect.

* The pole that sits atop a flagpole is called a "truck."

* A single edition of the Sunday "New York Times" contains more
information than a typical adult in 1892 was exposed to in their
entire life.

* Citizens of ancient Rome often paid their taxes in honey.

* Ginger has been clinically demonstrated to work twice as well as
Dramamine for fighting motion sickness.

* Women are 37% more likely to go to a psychiatrist than men.

* Vermont was the first state to ban slavery.

* Thirty percent of women over the age of 80 still have sexual
intercourse either with their spouse or boyfriends.

* Mormon leader Brigham Young had 56 children by 27 wives.

* The oldest living thing on Earth is a 2,600-year-old redwood tree
in California named General Sherman.

* Frank Sinatra's last TV appearance was on "Who's the Boss?"

Wasn't that fun, we asked rhetorically? Thats it for this time around!!!

<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
Fred - The Ole Fritzbear

**** HEADS UP FOLKS ****
These Are My Causes Please Help

This is a link for FREE virus protection
http://avast.com
It is excellent. I use it myself
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Organ and Tissue Donation/Transplanation
http://www.organdonor.gov/

It takes less than a minute to go to their site and click on "donating a mammogram"
for free (pink window in the middle). This doesn't cost you a thing. Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate mammogram
in exchange for advertising.

Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know.
http://www.thebreastcancersite.com
&
The Animal Rescue Site is having trouble getting enough people to click on it daily to meet their quota
of getting free food donated every day to abused and neglected animals. It takes less than a minute to go
to their site and click on "feed an animal in need" for free! This doesn't cost you a thing! Their corporate
sponsors/advertisers use the number of daily visits to donate food to abandoned/neglected animals in exchange
for advertising.
Here's the web site! Pass it along to people you know!
http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is a link for FREE virus protection
http://avast.com
It is excellent
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thoughts or Comments
jokes or stories
U Send'em and I'll print'em
Just keep it clean.A lota kids read this
jim4615@earthlink.net
Subject Line--- The Funnies
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
**** MOTOR SPORTS NEWS ****

NASCAR getting lead out

Unleaded fuel to be used in top three series by 2007 season.

Story

Lester proud of second run

Notes: Happy with 32nd-place finish and staying on leap lap.

Story

NHRA win to top Fuller

Dixon's Father's Day streak unravels; Capps, Line also prevail.

Story

Subscribe Today: Home Delivery of USA TODAY - Save 35%

**** COUNTRY CALENDAR ****

1903 Howard Dixon born in Darlington, South Carolina

1914 Lester Flatt born in Overton County, Tennessee

1956 Doug Stone born in Marietta, Georgia

1997 Bobby Helms died at age 63

1986 Ricky Van Shelton auditioned for CBS Record label
executives Rick Blackburn & Steve Buckingham

1982 Riders in the Sky joined the Grand Ole Opry

1926 The first documented Grand Ole Opry appearance of
DeFord Bailey ("The Harmonica Wizard"), the Opry's first
black star, on the program

1936 The Prairie Ramblers recorded "Maple On The Hill,
Part 2"
1956 Dave Rich recorded "Ain't It Fine"
1956 Dave Rich recorded "Your Pretty Blue Eyes"

1950 Carl Smith released his first record "Guilty
Conscience"

**** COUNTRY MUSIC NEWS ****

Carrie Underwood to Sing at All-Star Game

Carrie Underwood will perform the national anthem prior
to Major League Baseball's All-Star Game at PNC Park in
Pittsburgh on July 11. The game will be televised by
Fox Sports. Underwood's tour with Kenny Chesney stops
Thursday (June 15) in Phoenix followed by performances
this weekend in Las Vegas and Los Angeles.

**** Amy's Kitchen ****

"Barbecue-Style Pork Steaks"

4 Pork shoulder steaks (cut 1/2 inch thick)
1 tb Cooking oil
1 lg Onion (slice and separate into rings)
1 lg Green pepper; thinly sliced
2 Tomatoes; sliced
1 tb Quick-cooking tapioca
1/2 c Bottled barbeque sauce
1/4 c Dry red wine
1/2 ts Ground cumin

Cut pork steaks in half lengthwise. Trim excess fat. In a large skillet brown steaks on both sides in hot oil. Drain steaks on paper towels. In a 3 1/2- or 4-quart electric slow cooker arrange the onion, green pepper, and tomatoes. Sprinkle tapioca over vegetables. Place pork steaks atop vegetables and tapioca. In a small bowl stir together barbecue sauce, wine, and cumin. Pour over meat and vegetables in the slow cooker. Cover and cook on low-heat setting for 6 to 8 hours or until meat and vegetables are tender. To serve, transfer meat and vegetables to a serving platter. Makes 4 to 6 servings.

"Fresh Strawberry Glaze Pie"

3 pt strawberries
1 c sugar
3 tb cornstarch
1/2 c water
1 tb butter or margarine
1 c heavy whipping cream
1/2 t vanilla
2 tb sugar
1 baked pie shell

Wash, hull and drain berries. Crush some so that there is 1 cup of pulp and juice. combine sugar and cornstarch, add to berries with 1/2 cup water. Bring to a boil over medium heat, stirring constantly. Lower heat and cook until thick and clear. Remove from heat and stir in butter. Cool. Place whole and some sliced berries in pie shell, pour cooked mixture over and chill for at least 2 hours. garnish top with whipped cream and sliced whole berries.

**** TODAY'S USELESS FACT ****

Can you drink too much water?

Drinking water at every opportunity can cause serious problems, such as hyponatraemia or water intoxication. As the water content of the blood increases, the salt content is diluted. Consequently the amount of salt available to body tissues decreases, which can lead to problems with brain, heart and muscle function. Initial symptoms of over-hydration include dizziness, nausea, apathy and confusion. However these symptoms are also associated with dehydration - so it's important to be aware of how much you are drinking.

Is there cause for alarm? The British Dietetic Association guidelines state that an average adult should consume 8 glasses of water per day. This intake needs to be increased during periods of hot weather or during and after periods of physical activity. You can get your daily water requirements from sources other than pure water - your cup of tea counts! Water is the main ingredient of all drinks � carbonated drinks and still drinks, fruit juices and fruit and vegetables all have a high water content.

****A PARTING THOUGHT ****

I always wanted to be the last guy on earth, just to see if all those women were lying to me.

TOON TIME

Happy Hunter
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/v82.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/v82.htm "> Here!</a>

Invasion Of Baghdad
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/22281.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/22281.htm "> Here!</a>

Extra
http://www.buffalosjokes.com/22280.htm
<a href=" http://www.buffalosjokes.com/22280.htm "> Here!</a>

Firing The Cleaning Lady
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200411/027.htm
<a href="http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200411/027.htm"> Here </a>

The World Without Engineers
http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200411/028.htm
<a href="http://www.ezines4all.com/ct200411/028.htm"> Here </a>

Clown Minefields
http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny798.html
<a href="http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny798.html">Here!</a>

LAST CALL Y'ALL

HEY, DON'T BE A STRANGER NOW,YA HEAR!
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
Hey, Let's be careful out there
*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+*+
PLEASE
Don't take anything you see in the Funnies personally.
The contents are meant to be jokes, nothing more.
Everyone & everything is an equal opportunity target here.
EVERYONE IS FAIR GAME
The Funnies are strictly an opt-in service.
We do not sell, lease, loan, or give our subscribers'
addresses to anyone for any reason.
Our features are intended to be for entertainment only.

Disclaimer :All of my materials are Borrowed from various areas on the web

and from my readers. All are believed to be public domain . If you hold
copyright on any of these materials please inform me so I may give the
proper credit, or remove it which ever you prefer.
~
GOD BLESS AMERICA
~
To subscribe, Click on a link below
25438-subscribe@zinester.com
~
To unsubscribe from this opt-in mailing list
click on link at the end of this mailing
~
Regarding any problems In accordance with the 2004
Can-Spam act you can contact me with question or
comments at: JIM4615@JOINK.COM
or
Jim Dowers
P.O. Box 521
Carlisle, IN 47838-0521
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Miss getting The Funnies,or is your ISP
blocking mail again?
No problem
To Read the Funnies on line. Just click on this link
Archives Index: http://archives.zinester.com/25438
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Unsubscribe link is at the END of this list

God Bless America , Our Land , Forever May She Stand
&&&&&&&&&&
THIS DOCUMENT IS VIRUS FREE

Scanned by Avast virus protection
~
Unsubscription Email: 25438-unsubscribe@zinester.com
Unsubscription URL: http://www.zinester.com/mpb/unsub.cgi?25438