Communication Moments

Vol. 1, Issue # 13 - "Weapons of Influence: Liking"

"Love thy neighbor - and if he happens to be tall, debonair, and devastating, it will be that much easier."   
                                                                  ~ Mae West (1893-1990)

Not Another Coffee Mug

Ever wonder how it is that some people are so naturally persuasive? Lately, I was suckered into buying ANOTHER COFFEE MUG by a cute young man one day on my front door step. There was no WAY I needed another ceramic mug, but he smiled so big and made the funniest jokes. And, I bought one. Now, I'm a grown woman with 2 degrees in Communication (with a focus in Persuasion!). Certainly I could identify what was going on. Why did I say yes?

The next few Communication Moments will be dedicated to explaining why even the savviest and brightest of us sometimes comply to another's request even when it might not make sense. We'll be exploring the 6 key Weapons of Influence based on the research of Robert B. Cialdini, Ph.D.*

Psychologically, we all generally respond to certain stimuli in a predictable way.  Like Pavlov's dog, certain circumstances will often leave us salivating and saying "Yes!" to whomever is ringing the Influence Bell.

"Liking" is the first weapon of influence. Simply put, we prefer to say 'yes' to the requests of someone whom we know and like. But, what is more interesting is that strangers often use this principle to gain our compliance.

Hey, I think I like you...

So, what makes us instantly like someone? Here are some general research principles: 

1. We like good-looking people
Studies show time after time that we not only appreciate a physically attractive stranger, we also bestow upon them all sorts of postivie personality traits... even before he's opened his mouth! It's called the Halo Effect because we take one positive attribute (good looks) and multiply it into many more glowing traits!

2. We like people who like us
Ladies, this one is put into frequent use at the make-up counter. "Wow, you really have beautiful green eyes. I have just the eye-liner to make them stand out even more!" Flattery has an unbelievable influence on us - we tend to believe the praise people give us, and in turn like the person giving it.

3. We like people who are similar to us
In new groups, we often gravitate toward people who share similar values, experiences, and interests. We judge this by how people dress (are they dressed like me?), how old they are, and by what they talk about. We find them easy to talk to and credible!

4. We like to be associated with winners
"Be like Mike", "Bend it like Beckham", and "Livestrong!". Studies at the University of Texas have shown that when the U.T. football team wins, sales of U.T. shirts, hats, bags, and flags soar. The reason is simple: we like to be associated with winners.

The bottom line? We respond positively to those we like. And, conversely, the more people like YOU, the better response you'll get.

(written by Cynthia Oelkers, Queen of Communications)

* Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert B. Cialdini, Ph.D.

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