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New
Rules
by Helaine Iris
Last
week I was working with one of my small business clients, a
bright and dynamic woman who's passionate about positioning
her artisan business for growth. We were talking about her
financial picture and forecasting robust sales over the next
three years.
As I coached her, she expressed excitement and eagerness to
see her dreams turn into reality, yet somewhere, just below
the surface, I sensed subtle resistance on her part to fully
imagine the scenario we were painting.
I asked her about what she was feeling. After stopping for
a moment to "feel into" my observation, she tentatively at
first, then heartily agreed. Then she got very curious about
her seemingly incongruous resistance to success.
"Sarah", I asked, "What is your 'rule', about
financial success? In other words, what belief do you carry
(deep down) about money?" It didn't take long for her to
respond. "Well, she reported, if you're financially
successful, it means you have to give up on your values and
your integrity".
Wow! By uncovering that one rule, Sarah hit pay dirt. She
was now free to clearly see that one disempowering rule she
had been carrying her entire life.
Taking a look at the rules that drive your thinking is a
very powerful activity to help you grow as a person,
especially as a business owner. Another wise client of mine
once said, "There's no way to separate who we are from
what we do". You can have the most empowered business plans
in the world and if your inner life and dialog is disempowered...forget
it. It's an up hill battle.
What are your 'under-the surface rules' that run your
life and business? To explore, ask yourself: Where are you
consistently stuck in your business? What are the things that
always hang you up? What are the recurring thoughts or themes
you could write the book about?
I
invite your willingness to explore. You have only strength and
success to gain.
Here
are some examples of themes we all know too well:
I
can't quite breakthrough to financial success
I
default to fear and lack
I
always feel overwhelmed and exhausted and out of time
Procrastination
is my middle name
I
walk up to the edge of a challenge and then back away
I
avoid
I would suggest that behind every common theme, you have a
rule. For example, if you're like Sarah and you can't
breakthrough to financial success, you might have a rule that
says, "People that make money, sell out." Or, if you are
constantly procrastinating, you might have a rule that says,
"If I succeed, I'll wind up alone." (Maybe you
experienced a parent who worked a lot, and was unhappy and you
concluded that success = unhappiness).
Explore where your rules came from by asking: When did the
rule get created? What were the circumstances? Ask, if you
were to change that rule, what would happen? Who would be
upset? Who would get hurt or feel betrayed?
Take heart,
you created your rules for a good reason. We all create meaning about
life from our experiences and then create rules to keep us safe, secure
and sane. The problem comes when we neglect to inquire or challenge the
current validity of our rules.
You have the ability to move beyond your limited rules by
becoming aware of them, disqualifying them, (if they don't
serve you), and then by making new rules based on your current
reality. I challenge you to give it a try.
As for Sarah, she created a new rule that says she can be
financially successful, maintain her values, fulfill her dream
and express her passion in the world. What's YOUR new rule?
It's your life...live it completely!
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