"I don't have enough time in my day." If only I
received a nickel each time I heard those words. Come to think
of it, I do. Sort of.
Plenty of smart, successful people hire me to help them
deal with the issue of time management. Some have read the
latest time management books. Most use the perfect day-planner
or latest hand-held computer. Yet, they still struggle with
the ever-shrinking twenty-four hour day.
Even I, on occasion, have suspected some sort of global
conspiracy to rob me of my most precious commodity. Do each of
us really get only 24 hours in each day? I'm certain some
fortunate souls get more. And some, it seems, get far less.
Have you ever wondered why?
Having more time. Is it really as simple as learning a few
new skills? Is it enough to make your daily list, prioritize
that list and check them off as they're completed? I don't
think so.
I propose the root of the problem lies not with a lack of
time but with how you experience your life in relation to
time. How is your experience of time different when your day
is filled with things you love to do versus filled with things
you feel you HAVE to do.
Already, I can hear you passionately interjecting.
"Helaine, be realistic. How can I only do things I love
to do? I have to work. There are mouths to feed, tasks to
achieve and responsibilities to fulfill. People rely on
me."
I agree, and here's a taste of some foundational
strategies I invite my clients to adopt in conjunction with
any time management program. I challenge you to consider how
these strategies might positively shift your thinking about
not only managing your time but enjoying it.
You Come First
This strategy applies to everyone, but it especially
applies to women. People do rely on you. Which is why it's so
important to take care of you first. Surely, you're aware of
the golden goose idea. It serves no one to starve the goose.
Oprah said it better in a recent "O Magazine"
article. "If you allow yourself to be depleted to the
point where your emotional and spiritual tank is empty and
running on fumes of habit, everybody loses. Especially
you."
Our culture teaches otherwise, but the paradox is that you
owe it to yourself and those who rely upon you to become more
selfish. Yes. Selfish. You can put yourself at the top of your
list without being mean or taking away from those who are most
important to you.
Just let the idea sink in. I'll admit, in practice, it's
not easy initially. But try it for 30 days. I can almost
guarantee your life will look and feel dramatically more
fulfilling than it does today.
The Purpose Driven Life
Yes, it's a recent best-selling book. But it's also a
strategy I've been teaching my clients long before the book
was published. Your life is always being shaped and driven by
something. For most, it's the past -- beliefs and habits based
upon survival and fear.
There's another option. You decide what's going to shape
and drive your life. You choose the vision for what your life
is to be about, the values you hold most sacred and the kind
of person you are to be. And you allow those three to shape
and drive your actions in each moment. Life becomes much more
joyful and productive when you can filter out all the things
that are not in alignment with your self-defined life purpose.
Just Say No
Once you've determined what's important to you and how
you want to spend your time you'll need to protect it.
Despite my aforementioned conspiracy theory, the fact is
everyone gets the same 24 hours in a day. It's up to you
decide how you'll invest those hours. And if you can't say no,
you'll end up doing some things you don't want to do.
Learning to say no creates boundaries that preserve precious
time and will serve you and your purpose.
Be Here Now
Ram Dass brought this idea to the fore in the early
seventies with his book, "Be Here Now." As busy
humans living in the 21st century, the concept is no less
important. We are geared and driven to do, do, do. She who
gets the most toys wins. There's a balancing perspective to
add to the formula, however. Be-ing.
How might your experience of time, regardless of what you're
doing, feel different if you were aware, present in the moment
and full of a sense of be-ing? In other words, conscious of
you -- your essence, your presence.
Get It Off Your Mind And Into A System
If it's on your mind, it's draining your energy.
Keeping what you have to do on your mind creates mental
stress. Think of your brain as the RAM of your computer. There's
only so much it can hold until it crashes. Not only does your
brain get clogged with the 100 things you have to do, it can't
differentiate between their importance. Utilize a trustworthy
collection system for your priorities, projects and tasks.
There are many time management systems available. Whether
it's a notebook you carry around, a mini tape recorder or a
PDA, use a system to keep your brain available for higher
functions. It's important to find one that fits your style and
needs. For example, if you are technologically challenged,
perhaps a computer-based time management system isn't the best
bet for you.
As another example, if you are not a morning person, it
might be more prudent to schedule your most important tasks
later in the day, if possible. Think of a time management
system as a pair of shoes. Make it fit comfortably and support
you as much as possible.
Can you identify which of these foundations would be a good
place for you to start? Where do you need the most support?
The result of these perspectives could open a new relationship
to time and a more purpose driven life. Why not give it a try?
It's YOUR life...live it completely!