“Civil, is the least we can be.”

By Bob Perks

Bob@BobPerks.com

“How many?”

“Hello, how are you today?”

“Fine, smoking or non?

“One, non.”

That was my welcome in the restaurant this morning.

“For here or to go?”

“Hello, how are you today?”

“Fine, for here or to go?”

That was my welcome at a fast food restaurant yesterday.

Silence.

That was my welcome at the checkout of a convenience store. She

took my money, never said a word. I said, “I’m fine, thank you. Thanks

for asking. Have a nice day.”

She said, “Next!”

I’ve discovered the answer to all of the world’s problems.

“Civil.” We’re not civil any more.

To be civil, we need to simply be more gracious, respectful. The dictionary

says, “a minimal observance of social requirements.”

Minimal. The very least one can do is to be civil. Why not try to be more?

Imagine a world where every human being you came in contact with greeted

you with a sincere “Hello! How are you?” and really meant it.

In my presentation on “Dealing with Difficult People” I speak about such

encounters. Whenever anyone asks me how I’m doing, I always say “Excellent!”

It shocks people. In some cases they appear to get angry with me.

“Excellent? Why are you so excellent?”

“You don’t hear that very often!”

My reply is “Isn’t that sad?”

In one bank the teller yelled over to another teller, “Hey, Joe. This guy says he’s excellent.”

“Try working here!” he replied.

Society is such that when we come across that rare happy person, we mock them,

find them odd, make jokes about them and, as one person told me recently, “I want

to smack them in the head!”

Civil defense. I’ve become defensive about civility.

But I’ll keep on trying to be nice even when others aren’t. In fact, I’ve gotten to like

the challenge.

“Hello, how are you today?”

“Fine,” she replies. I wait for her to return the question, “How are you?” She doesn’t.

“I’m fine, too, thanks,” I say.

Then there was the lady at Sam’s Club who gives away food samples. She’s

what they call a “demonstrator.”

“Marianne, I want you to see this lady. She is the rudest customer service person I know.”

We approached her and I said, “Well, Hello! How are you today?”

She paused for a moment as she handed me a small paper cup of pasta.

“This is how I am!” she said as she pointed to the package on the cart in front of her.

“As for how I am personally, it is none of your business. My well being has nothing to do with you!”

Even I was shocked at that one. Normally she just doesn’t answer when I ask her.

“I was just trying to be friendly,” I said to her.

“Well, don’t!”

My wife stood their speechless.

Civil. The least we can be.

by Bob Perks

A simple “Hello” is all I ask or a warm smile to greet me.

How my day turns out for me, might depend on how you treat me.

Perhaps my day is going bad and life seems not worth living.

At every turn I feel alone and the world is unforgiving.

But then I see a smiling face, upon a caring man

He says, “Hello, my friend, how are you? I’ll help you if I can.”

I lift my head up higher, I’m weary from looking down.

I stand a little taller, I smile instead of frown.

“Thank you friend, for asking. I’m grateful that you care.

You see, a friend is what I need, I never find one there.

The fact that someone asked me, truly made my day.”

“Hello” is such a simple word not difficult to say.

Civil is the least we can be! Why not try to be more?