Archives at Zinester: "Sitting...still". "I Believe in You!".

"Sitting...still"
By Bob Perks

I didn't think I could do it. I am always on the move. When my body is
not, my brain runs away some where and I need to go find it.

I was like a caged animal tonight. My day was turned around and mixed
up with an early rise and mid day nap. I hustled off for a doctor's
appointment and then ate lunch at 3:00 p.m.

So by the time we finished food shopping I wanted to do something, keep
going, or simply just walk some place.

But we returned home and I paced inside and out. There was a fresh
scent of rain mixed with cool breezes bathing my body and soul. I
walked in one door and out the other, pausing long enough inside to know
it wasn't where I belonged.

My sneakers soaked up the wet grass and I desperately wanted to go bare
foot. Thoughts of sitting in the rain, permitting myself to be soaked
straight to the bone danced through my mind. Faintly in the distance I
could hear my Mother yelling, "Bobbie, get out of the rain! You'll
catch a cold." But being the boy I was and remain still today, I kept
on splashing, spinning, dancing like a fool, knowing fully that I would
get in trouble. But I had been there before. I knew trouble well.
This moment was much more important.

But today the rain had stopped and only memories of it remained.

So I grabbed a chair and sat on the front porch. I challenged myself to
sit still.

I rocked and wiggled at first, nervously changing my position to find a
comfortable spot. Then suddenly it happened. It wasn't the first time
and I pray it won't be the last.

I felt a part of everything around me. I immediately connected with
the world. I felt at peace, rested and a part of something bigger. I
tuned into the sounds of the birds sharing their early evening chatter.
I watched each car pass and seeing the driver, wondered who they were
and how their life was going. Was that red car a reflection of their
personality? Did that expensive convertible shout "look at me, I have
money?" Or was I reading into things that didn't necessarily mean a
thing?

I hardly moved at all. Yet, the world came to me. Except when I
lowered my head for a moment and rubbing my eyes, I happened to catch
the sight of a tiny red spider. Within the fifteen minutes or so that
I watched it, it never went any where. It moved constantly within about
a one square foot spot on my floor.

What was it looking for? Where did it want to go? Why didn't it walk
in a straight line to get there?

That's when it hit me.

There have been times in my life where I ran around in circles thinking
that activity meant progress. When in fact, I never got any where.

Then there where times when I felt like I was standing still, going no
where and yet I learned more about who I was.

You see, sitting still on the front porch proved to me that the world
will come to me when I need it to. Or at least I learn to appreciate
more the immediate world in which I live. Earlier that evening when I
was darting in and out of the house I was like the tiny spider, in
motion but getting no where.

The key to this, I learned a long time ago from Dr Wayne Dyer, is "nowhere."

Learning to sit still, converts nowhere into "now here." What you see
in this word....nowhere....is a reflection of how you perceive your
life.

Once I accept where I am and discover it totally by connecting to every
rock, tree, insect, sound and human, I grow into the world and it
accepts me. Now traveling any where I can learn to be a part of it just
by sitting still long enough to welcome it into my life and it in turn
accepts me as a part of the whole.

No longer can I say I am getting nowhere, simply because it doesn't
exist. How can nowhere be a place?

Believe me, if it weren't for night fall and mosquitoes, I'd be
"sitting...still."

Try it!