"White Socks and Slippers"
By Bob Perks

I've arrived.  Or maybe I've crossed over.   This isn't a message about
getting old.  It's a story about finally understanding what's important.

I believe, I'm speaking for myself now, that most of life is controlled
by outside influences.  Influenced greatly by what others think, I have
often made choices that I didn't really want to make, but did so in order
to comply with world standards.

It all started with toys and food.

I had to have what other kids had and even better.  I had to have what
you were eating even if I didn't particularly like it. 

Was I a spoiled brat?  I don't remember that being true, but I can certainly
claim to be curious.  I always wanted to know, see, touch and have, a trait
that I carry even today. 

But I shared, too. 

If I had a quarter for candy, I always split it with my friends.  Did they do the same?
No way!  But that didn't stop me.

My teenage years found me wanting the best clothes, a Beatle haircut and a
new Ford Mustang.  I spent my entire teenage years still wanting them.  I got only what
my parents could afford and if my father ever caught me with my hair down, he'd kill
me!  I did own a nice Chevy Impala with bucket seats.  It was used, but I loved that car.

As I think back through my adult years I can see times when some decisions I made
were purely because I thought I had to, not that I really wanted to.

So it was until last week.

If you are older than I am please don't be insulted by this next statement.  Old people do
what they want.  If you see one driving the wrong way up a one way road, you smile and
say "He's old."  If you see one cut into the front of a long line at the counter in a
department store, you smile and say, "She's old, she can get away with that."  If you see
someone wearing the most outrageous outfit with nothing matching, you think, "He's an old guy
what does he care."

Here's the truth behind all of that.  It's not that they are old.  They finally caught on to what really matters.

One ways are for those who play by the rules.  When you've played by the rules all of your life
you get tired of playing.

Waiting in long lines takes time.  Time is a most precious gift.  Why waste it standing in line? 
Getting older is like playing the board game, "Chutes and Ladders."  At a certain point in life
you finally land on the big ladder that takes you to the top bypassing everyone else.

As for clothing choices, there's no need to impress the boss, the girl down the street, or the business
client, so you cancel your subscription to GQ and wear your favorite t-shirt with holes in it and plaid
pants up around your neck.

I haven't yet gone down the road the wrong way or cut to the head of a line, but I have discovered how
liberating it is to wear my favorite t-shirt when company comes and white socks and bedroom slippers
when I pick up pizza.

My wife made a point of telling me about the t-shirt. 

"It was bad enough that you had on that old thing, but when you picked up your arms all you could see were
holes in the armpits!" 

"So?"

That's what a guy says when he can't understand.

"So?  You have better shirts than that," my wife replied.

"So?" I said.  Then she gives up and leaves me alone. 

That's why we say it.  "So? leave me alone!"

Then the other day I had to pick up pizza that we ordered.  I had on white socks from wearing sneakers
earlier in the day.  Just before I left I looked down at my feet and thought, "I don't want to tie my sneakers
so I'll just wear my bedroom slippers."

It was a history making moment.  I just didn't care.  I could hear my kids going "Yuck! White socks and slippers?"
But they weren't there and I won't see anyone I know. 

I could hear the theme from the movie "Rocky" playing in the background in my mind as I slipped
my right foot in one slipper and then the other.  I was a champion over fashion sense.  I pulled my jeans up
around my neck and headed for the pizza shop. 

Then I really broke free.

When I arrived, I walked right up to the counter ahead of others waiting in line. 

"Pizza for Perks!" I said boldly.

I looked out of the corner of my eye and could see the others shaking their heads.

"Sir, you'll have to get in line," the young girl said.

I guess I wasn't old enough.

But as I turned to look back, I saw everyone looking at me.  I tugged at my jeans as I pulled them even higher and said,

"Yes, but I'm wearing white socks and bedroom slippers!"

"So?" the young girl said.

"Wait that's my line!" I replied.

I headed to the end of the line and as I passed one young boy I heard him say to
his friend, "White socks and bedroom slippers, he's old."