"You're lucky I really didn't say what I wanted to.  I can be tough when I want to be!" she said.

 

Words are so powerful. They can lift someone up from the depths of despair or they can tear them down and impact them forever.  Or at least until they decide to let it go.

 

In my classes I talk about verbal and non verbal communication. In a study they discovered that non verbal communication, looks and expressions, body language and tone of voice, are more important than the words we say.  I use the example when my wife says "Tell me that you love me."  I might moan and say matter-of-factly, "You know I love you!"  My posture, my tone of voice, my facial expressions certainly don't enforce the words that I have said.  But I said the words.

 

So it is not enough to just say the words.  Our actions speak louder than words as the saying goes.

 

Janice not only said what she meant, but her body language backed her up.  The problem is she has become the monster that she has created.  She believes that life has handed her some bad breaks so in order for her to survive, "I have to fight for everything I want."

 

The real problem here is she is vulnerable.  In fact, sensitive to life, and not so deep down, emotional and caring.  She is perpetuating the same thing that she hates about her life.  People around her create a wall that keeps them at a safe distance.  Her employer wants to fire her, but is afraid to.  Her family wants nothing to do with her because she causes problems wherever she goes. 

 

Not satisfied with the service?  Make a scene get something for free.

 

"I create my own luck," she told me.  We had been in a conversation about Friday the 13th. 

"Only them that have get. Those of us who weren't born lucky have to take what they want.  I am lucky because I make myself lucky," she barked.

 

But how can one create luck?  Lucky is by definition "having or attended with good luck; fortunate."  But if you create what you want it isn't luck. 

 

So people like Janice use luck as an excuse.  "I don't have things because I'm not lucky."  "If I'm lucky I'll get through this."  they say.  That way they have declared in advance if it doesn't happen it isn't my fault.  It's just bad luck.

 

"Janice, you are all hot air!" I told her.  The people nearby who knew her wanted to run for the hills when I said that.  "The problem is you are afraid to let people near you."

 

Then I walked up and hugged her. 

 

There was dead silence for what seemed eternity.  Had I over stepped my bounds?

 

Janice stood there for a moment with no response.  Her arms hung at her side and her head stayed straight forward.

 

"Let your guard down," I whispered in her ear.

 

Slowly she raised her arms and embraced me.  I could feel her head rest on  my shoulder.  Still holding her, I backed up to look at her face.  She smiled, slowly closed her eyes, and said, "You're lucky I don't belt you one."

 

"No, there is no such thing as luck.  I'm blessed that I met you today," I said.

 

I received a phone call later that day from a friend and co-worker of Janice. 

 

"You wouldn't believe what you did for us," she said.  "Janice was so pleasant the rest of day.  It was like a whole new person."

 

"I didn't do anything.  Janice did it all.  She responded to life," I told her.

 

You see this thing about luck on the 13th or creating luck is just another fallacy.  We are where we are and have what we have in life because it has responded to our actions.  If you give love you get love.  If you look for good you find it.  Yes, if you play the lottery and those numbers come up it is not luck, it was a response to your actions.  You took numbers and the spin of the wheel produced numbers.  You can't create luck but you can get from life what you give to it.  I always seem to get more than I give.  That's because I expect less.  I give because I want to.  So when life responds I'm overwhelmed by it.

 

Of course I also see things many don't.  I see the trees giving me shade.  I see the flowers sending color into my life.  I feel the wind cooling me on a hot day.  I didn't do a thing to deserve that.  Am I lucky?  No.

 

I live with an attitude of "Appreciation," "Thankfulness," and "Gratitude."

 

If you care about people they respond.  If you really care about people you'll find a way to break through to them. 

 

And if you are "lucky" you'll get more from it than you gave.  I did.  Janice just emailed me from her work.

She said, "I cried for hour when I got home.  I then called my brother and both my children and told them how much I loved them.  My brother said "Janice are you Okay?" and laughed.  Then he told me he was blessed to have me as his sister.  Gee, all this time I thought it was luck.  His bad luck."

 

"I believe in you!"

Bob