"How Much?"

by Bob Perks

Bob@BobPerks.com

 "You can't imagine how difficult it is to do this.  But I must.  It's all I have,"

the young boy said as we sat on the steps in the cold night air.

I had just walked in our back door when the door bell rang. 

"Hon, did you ring the bell?" my wife asked.

"No, I didn't.  You're kidding, right?" I replied.

Then the bell sounded again. 

Marianne was in her pajamas already and didn't want to answer the

door so I headed to the front.  When I opened it I found a handsome

young boy standing there with newspaper in hand.

"Yes, can I help you?" I asked.

"Okay, here's today's paper," he said as he handed me a copy.  He

appeared very nervous.  Throughout the entire opening of his obvious

sales pitch he never looked up at me. 

"I'm selling subscriptions so that I can get a scholarship for college," he said quietly. 

Oh I hated to stop him.  This blonde haired, handsome young man was

going to go far in life.  I could tell.  But he handed me a copy of the paper

I get delivered already.  I didn't want him to waste his time and energy trying

to sell me something I had.

"Excuse me.  If this is the paper you're selling I get it already," I told him.

"Oh."  The sound of his voice dropped an octave in a disappointing grumble. 

My heart broke.

Without even saying goodbye, he nervously walked down the steps and into my driveway.

I started to close the door and as I turned I could see my wife standing there. 

She's the logical one, the nearly sane one in the family.  She knows me best. 

I felt like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. 

I turned once again to see the young boy standing there, looking at his notes

and up and down the street.  I turned back and there was the guard on duty. 

She was waiting for me to do it.

You see the last time a young boy came by selling a newspaper subscription to

a paper we didn't need, I was so impressed with him that I ran after him and gave

him ten bucks.  "Here, this is for you.   You were incredible.  What an attitude you have. 

I so admire you for doing this to make money.  You'll go far in life," I told him.

Then I had to face Marianne. 

"Okay, how much did you give him?"  she asked.

I was just as nervous as the young man I met tonight.  You see, times were financially

difficult back then and that ten dollars was all I had.

So in a d?Šj?  vu  moment here, it all came flashing back to me.

As always in my life I think "If I do this I'll be in trouble.  So I've been in trouble before. 

I'll do it!"

I opened the door and looked to see where he was.  I couldn't see him.  I closed the

door behind me and as I approached the steps I found him sitting at the bottom.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" he said as he began to rise.

"No, that's okay.  How's it going?" I asked.

"Not so good.  Everyone I spoke to so far either has the paper or isn't interested. 

I've had the door closed on me and some wouldn't even open it.  They'd yell through

the window. "I'm not interested."

"Are you just doing this for extra money?"

"Extra money.  I don't even know what that means.  You see I work after school at a

local store and on weekends helping my uncle.  This I have to do.  You see I can't..."

He paused for a moment and looking down  he shook his head.

"You can't imagine how difficult it is to do this.  But I must.  It's all I have," he said.  

This will help get me some scholarship money for college.  I know it's a long way off. 

But If I don't start now I won't be able to go when I'm old enough.  The money

I earn form the other jobs goes to help my Mom.  She needs the money just to feed us. 

This is my future," he said.

You know a grown adult shouldn't have this much weight on their shoulders. 

But a young child with so much burden in life already is too much.  Part of me wants

to make it all go away for him. But the fact is, this kind of stuff is going to make one

heck of a man out him.  He's facing it head on.  He's up for the challenge and ready to

win the fight.  Most kids his age are stuck in front of a TV or video game.  Most have the

attitude "someone's going to take care of everything.  I have nothing to worry about."

"My friend, don't you worry about the future.  I see the future in your heart.  I see it in your

spirit.  I see it in your eyes and it's bright and beautiful!"

"Sir, that's not my future you see in my eyes.  That's God in my soul," he said. 

"He will get us through this."

Okay, so I gave him ten dollars.   But don't tell Marianne.  If she heard this story from this

young man, she'd be mad at me.  She'd probably would have given him twenty.