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Topic:Mastering Relationships All of us have one time or the other, wished for some kind of a magic formula that could heal a relationship and bring us the relief we so desperately desired. Is there a secret to having great relationships? Has any one discovered that yet? Let??™s explore this topic in this issue because without good relationships there can be neither freedom nor joy in life. How many times have you caught yourself thinking ???if only he/she could change a little bit--, things would be so much better???? All of us has felt that some time or the other in various situations. Most of our ways of handling such issues are by the following four ways: ??? Appeasement ??? Stubbornness ??? Non cooperativeness, and of course, ??? Anger No one wants to loose, but sometimes we let the other person win (appeasement) in the hope that it would make things better. But it never turns out that way. Sometimes we try the other three but soon find that they do not work either. So what do we do? We start blaming whoever we are at conflict with and also pity ourselves for being stuck in the situation. Life can turn out to be real hell at such times. But don??™t give up yet. Here are a few suggestions that can easen up the situation and also help us recover faster. 1. Never have false expectations. Thoroughly understand that however it may have seemed initially, the other person is different and has different priorities and values. You will never be totally understood nor will you totally understand the other person. 2. Know your priorities and be clear on what you want. Communicate this without hesitation. 3. Be prepared to loose if you wish to obtain something without first giving something of equal value. 4. Gradually work to understand that no one can give you what you truly seek. You mistakenly pursue things/people/circumstances hoping that it/they will give you what you wanted. Know that what is yours is always yours and will come to you when you have made space for it. 5. Never compromise because of fear, this keeps bringing you into situations you want to avoid. 6. Every end is a new beginning, so do not be disheartened if you have already been burned. These suggestions will not in any way ensure smooth relationships but will help to keep the relationship fair. Ultimately, any relationship can succeed only if the parties involved truly desire to contribute to the well being of each other while at the same time acknowledging the uniqueness of each other. In her book, Gently Lead: How to teach your children about God while finding out for yourself by Polly Berrien Berrends, the author relates marriage to two people riding bicycles. The ride is enjoyable and fun as long as they stay on their own bicycles but the moment they start trying to steer each others??™ bike, the fun vanishes. This principle applies to all kinds of relationships and if remembered, will definitely be helpful in many situations. |
| << March04, 2005 - The Inner Craving forTrue freedom |
April06, 2005 - True Freedom >> |
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