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| << February11, 2006 - [ComicBookNetwork E-Mag] CBEM 562.02 |
February11, 2006 - [ComicBookNetwork E-Mag] CBEM 562.07 >> |
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----------------------------------------------------------------- [7] The Nitpicker's Column Martin A. Perez magnus@montevideo.com.uy http://perdidoseneleter.tripod.com [Martin A. Perez (AKA MaGnUs) writes short stories, articles, comics and radio plays. One of his stories is about to be published for the first time, and his articles have appeared in online or print magazines like Inforol, Ururol, Kryptonian Cybernet and Strange Days. He co-produces and co-hosts a radio show about comics and related subjects, Perdidos en el Eter. An active part of Uruguay's fan scene, he's one of the creators of Montevideo Comics, the first local convention (since 2002), and one of the founders of Caballeros de Montevideo, which promotes RPGs through charity events. MaGnUs works at a tech-support callcenter, and is happily married to his wife Cindy, with whom he has a one year old son, Gabriel, who already chooses Spider- Man over Mickey Mouse, and laughs at his father's Darth Vader impersonations.] <<WARNING! THIS COLUMN MIGHT CONTAIN SPOILERS!>> Hello readers, sorry about last week, but my new job is leaving me so tired I completely forgot about the column... I'll try not to let it happen again. As for this week, be warned, the X-Men and Chris Claremont are the stars of the column... as if they didn't get enough nit coverage! Now, on with this week's nits... <--------------------------------> "I COMMITED A SMALL TYPO, I BELEIVE." TITLE: Powers V2. ISSUE: 15. CULPRIT: Ken Bruzenak (letterer). NIT-TO-PICK: Nothing major, just that in page 21, in the upper right corner, there's a dialogue balloon from the Agent Lange which reads "Take the civilian for debriefing." when it should obviously say "debriefing". NIT-O-METER: Only 1 Bazzars, can't give it more. <--------------------------------> "AND NOW, YOU WILL SUBMIT TO THE MASTER... SYSTEM!" TITLE: Uncanny X-Men. ISSUE: 467. CULPRIT: Chris Claremont (writer?). NIT-TO-PICK: Yes, I just put a question mark next to the word "writer" as used to refer to Chris Claremont. I've said it before; the man was one of the best superhero comic writers during the 70s and the 80s... but nowadays? He's a washed up hack... he can't write his way out of a paper bag these days... It breaks my heart to see that issue after issue he plods his way through scripts, and in this case, he has the Sh'iar Death Commandos appear (I suppose it's his 21st century version of the Sh'iar Imperial Guard), to... ok, it's not necessary for me to spoil this for you, but if you read Claremont's Phoenix stories, then you have an idea of what these guys have come to Earth to do. And what's the nit? Well, the nit is that Claremont has clearly run out of names for his characters, since one of the Death Commandos is called... SEGA! What is his special weapon a nunchuk made of two joy pads tied together??!?! NIT-O-METER: This merits 5 Bazzars, it reeks of laziness. <--------------------------------> "IT'S MY SECONDARY MUTATION!" TITLE: Uncanny X-Men. ISSUE: 467. CULPRIT: Chris Claremont (writer, ok). NIT-TO-PICK: Between pages 7 and 8, Nightcrawler teleports himself (along with Shadowcat and Psylocke), over the course of one second, between the X-Men's mansion in Westchester, NY, to the Grey family house in Annandale-On-Hudson, NY. The distance between those two places is slightly more than 90 miles, I know, I used mapquest.com to check it. The problem? Even if we ignore the fact that he's carrying two other people on the teleport, Nightcrawler's powers only allow him to displace himself over a distance of 2 to 3 miles, in one jump, and there's absolutely no way he could do more than 30 jumps over only one second. Claremont, you've just screwed up big time. Again. Retire, please. NIT-O-METER: What the hell, I'm giving this 9 Bazzars this time he really did it. He didn't actually create Nightcrawler, but he might as well have, since he's the guy who developed him the most... he's probably the guy who set the distance limit for his teleporting, and he can't even get THIS right? <--------------------------------> "WHAT AM I SUPOSSED TO LOOK LIKE, ANYWAY?" TITLE: X-Men: Deadly Genesis. ISSUE: 03 of 06. CULPRIT: Trevor Hairsine (layout penciler) and/or Scott Hanna & Nelson (finishing pencilers). NIT-TO-PICK: I'm not saying it again, unless they say Beast's secondary mutation has reverted itself, he does not have anthropomorphic feet and legs, period. And that's what he has in panels four and five of page 3, in addition to being poorly drawn. This mistake remains throughout the whole issue. NIT-O-METER: 8 Bazzars, nobody's caught up to this mistake yet. <--------------------------------> "CHECK IT OUT, I STILL HAVE THAT POWER!" TITLE: X-Men: Deadly Genesis. ISSUE: 03 of 06. CULPRIT: Ed Brubaker (writer) and/or Trevor Hairsine (layout penciler). NIT-TO-PICK: Again in page 3, in panel five, Beast climbs up a wall, a power he lost some time ago, I think even before his secondary mutation. NIT-O-METER This gets 6 Bazzars, they should keep track of these things. <--------------------------------> "WHO CARES? NOBODY READS RUSSIAN ANYWAY!" TITLE: X-Men: Deadly Genesis. ISSUE: 03 of 06. CULPRIT: Ed Brubaker (writer) or Art Monkey's David Lanphear (letterer). NIT-TO-PICK: When confronted by a vision, Colossus says "Het... Het..." which to the best of my ability to search online Russian- to-English dictionaries, is not a word in Piotr's native tongue. I believe this was supposed to read "Nyet... Nyet..." (No... No...). NIT-O-METER: Not really important, you can understand what's going on; by the way he says the (made-up) words. So, only 4 Bazzars. <--------------------------------> "SOCIAL SERVICES WAS TOO BUSY..." TITLE: X-Men: Deadly Genesis. ISSUE: 03 of 06. CULPRIT: Ed Brubaker (writer). NIT-TO-PICK: On page 28, in the backup story Swan, the character Suzanne Chan, is left out in the streets by the police after the murder of her parents... and she's 17!!!! It says so in page 25, first page of the story! Why would the authorities leave a minor alone like that, wouldn't Social Services intervene? Also, having Moira appear at the end of the issue to "help" Suzanne, led me to crafting my own theory of what's going on in Deadly Genesis. Mind you, this was before reading CBEM issue 564, where ComiX-Fan's Brian Wilkinson has entertains similar thoughts. Oh, by the way Brian, when you say "I mean, seriously, naming a character and then having his abilities mimic his name?" about Darwin... his given name is actually Armando Munoz, the name Darwin he gets from the scientist that studies him, exactly because of his abilities. Since Moira shows up, this means these backup stories happen in the past. My theory is that before the five original X-Men are captured by Krakoa, Moira was assembling her own X-Men team with these mutant kids (Petra, Darwin, Sway, and at least a few others). When Krakoa caught the first X-Men team, Xavier asks Moira to send HER X-Men to rescue his. Not only they fail, they're completely and utterly massacred (or at least it seems so). Thus Moira's words in the tape fragments Beast recovers from what Banshee was carrying: "(...) Xavier (...) he came to me for help, to save his X-Men (...) I gave him my own (...) just children, bloody children... and he got them all killed." Or maybe this is too obvious... dunno... just wanted to share that with you. NIT-O-METER: This only deserves 2 Bazzars. <--------------------------------> "PEEPING SENTINELS" TITLE: Uncanny X-Men. ISSUE: 469. CULPRIT: Billy Tan (penciler). Congratulations Billy, this is your first time on The Nitpicker Column NIT-TO-PICK: In page 3, last panel, Rachel looks out her window in the X-Mansion, and she sees a Sentinel's face right next to her window, as if he's peeping in (someone actually is peeping, see next nit). In page 4, a full page panel or Rachel shows her looking out the window, and sunlight comes in, something that wouldn't happen if an enormous O*N*E Sentinel was standing right in front of the window (they're bigger than the usual Sentinels). Then in page 5, first panel, you see the Sentinels in the mansion's courtyard, and around the house, and you notice that none of the Sentinels is standing next to a window, and more so, that the roof of the mansion is in line with the robots' "navel". Not even perspective allows for the Sentinel face to bee seen out of Ray's window as it is in page 3. NIT-O-METER: This gets 5 Bazzars, it's not really important. <--------------------------------> "UUUH.... ESOTERIC!!!" TITLE: Uncanny X-Men. ISSUE: 469. CULPRIT: Chris Claremont (writer, I'll stop adding comments). NIT-TO-PICK: On page 6, second panel, the O*N*E surveillance specialist are peeping at Rachel in the shower, while at the same time collecting data on her for their files. They scan her vital signs, and those are consistent with normal human beings, which is correct, since Ray doesn't have any physical powers. Then one of the technicians says "Expanding sensitivity through ESOTERIC energy spectrums." Now, according to the Merriam-Webster online dictionary; esoteric means the following: 1 a : designed for or understood by the specially initiated alone <a body of esoteric legal doctrine -- B. N. Cardozo> b : requiring or exhibiting knowledge that is restricted to a small group <esoteric terminology> <esoteric strategies>; broadly : difficult to understand <esoteric subjects> 2 a : limited to a small circle <engaging in esoteric pursuits> b : PRIVATE, CONFIDENTIAL <an esoteric purpose> 3 : of special, rare, or unusual interest <esoteric building materials>. OK, that could be applied to the psychic energies that might be measured when Rachel uses her powers, but come on Chris... "esoteric energy"??!?!?!? That's just lazy writing, and it's much more easier and accurate to put "psychic energy" or "brainwave activity". Using the word "esoteric" makes this comic book sound cheesier than it already it is... NIT-O-METER: No more comments than a 4 Bazzars score. <--------------------------------> "THEY MUST HAVE REVERTED MY SECONDARY MUTATION WHEN THEY GOT MAD AT MORRISON FOR LEAVING...' TITLE: Uncanny X-Men. ISSUE: 469. CULPRIT: Billy Tan (penciler). NIT-TO-PICK: Page 14, panel 6, we Beast sitting in a chair, and his body looks exactly as it used to look before the secondary mutation. PLEASE! NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars again. <--------------------------------> "I NEED TP FOR MY BUNGHOLE!" TITLE: Uncanny X-Men. ISSUE: 469. CULPRIT: Chris Claremont (writer). NIT-TO-PICK: On page 24, panel five, Rachel says "Used my PSI to 'blind' the perceptions of our jailors."; why use the term "PSI" instead of "telepathy"? I know you can't use "tp", or else you'll sound like Cornholio, but still... NIT-O-METER: This gets 3 Bazzars, it's minor. <--------------------------------> "YES, WE PSYCHIC X-WOMEN HAVE VERSATILE POWERS!" TITLE: Uncanny X-Men. ISSUE: 469. CULPRIT: Chris Claremont (writer). NIT-TO-PICK: On page 24, AGAIN, panel five, AGAIN, Rachel says "Used my teke to block the robots' sensors and edit their computer memories." First, I despise the use of the term "teke" to refer to telekinesis, when you can use the word, or you can put TK, as it's been done in the past. But that's not the nit, since technically, it's correct, it's a phonetic way of saying TK. The problem is, obviously, the fact that Claremont has Ray use telekinesis to manipulate an electronic system. That's stretching it, I can believe that, say Magneto, when he still had his powers, could have controlled magnetic fields with a degree of finesse that allowed him to manipulate computer systems. That would still be a stretch, that's why there's characters who have cybernetic control powers, also called cyberpathy, like Sage, Black Box, or Network. Also see my nit from my last column, two weeks ago, where Emma Frost "sends her thought waves through the laser beams of a Sentinel's sensors". NIT-O-METER: This definitely gets 8 Bazzars, like the Emma nit I mentioned. <--------------------------------> "FREEZE!" TITLE: Outsiders V3. ISSUE: 33. CULPRIT: Jen Van Meter (guest writer) and/or Dietrich Smith (guest penciler). NIT-TO-PICK: First of all, both the guest writer and the guest penciler suck big time. Van Meter's story seems oddly scripted, and it's confusing to follow; while Smith's art looks incomplete, especially the character's faces. But this is not a review, or else I'd be tearing them to pieces... What? That I already am? So sue me! The nit here is that on page 11, Captain Marvel Jr. (check out that poorly drawn face) confronts Captain Cold, and the villain shoots his freeze ray gun at Marvel, who stops the ray with his hand... and the ray bounces back and Cold is frozen?!?!? WTF?!?!? I mean, CMJ can withstand the cold ray, but it wouldn't bounce back like that, this is crappy writing or a lazy and unimaginative artist. NIT-O-METER: This gets 6 Bazzars, it's horrible, but not really relevant to the story. <--------------------------------> "GUGU DADA" TITLE: Outsiders V3. ISSUE: 33. CULPRIT: Jen Van Meter (guest writer). NIT-TO-PICK: In page 12, first panel, Chain (a character I'd never heard of before this issue, but I'm sure Smith dug her up from some obscure corner of the DCU), says "He's a big phony, Vault! Lock him up! Lock him up!", and Arsenal (disguised as Deathstroke) says "What's with the (...) baby talk?!" Vault (another refugee from Unknownland) answers saying she has multiple personalities and that this is her baby personality... but what she says is not baby talk... next panel she does say "Big stupid stupid! I got you! Fall down!"; that could constitute baby talk, but Arsenal asks before this line. Oh, BTW, it appears Captain Marvel Jr. is familiar with Chain, so she's probably a villain of the Marvels. NIT-O-METER: This gets 4 Bazzars, not a big deal. <--------------------------------> "DR. STRANGE, VENTRILOQUIST!" TITLE: The Pulse. ISSUE: 13. CULPRIT: VC's Cory Petit (letterer). NIT-TO-PICK: On the double spread formed by pages 3 and 4, in the lower left panel, the dialogue balloon that should come from Wong are shown as coming from Dr. Strange. NIT-O-METER: Only five Bazzars, since you can understand what happened if you're paying a bit of attention. <--------------------------------> I promise not to include that much Claremont or X-Men in next issue. This week's average is a 5... thought it would be higher... That's it for now, until next week, I'll be on the outlook for more nits, because (almost) nothing escapes... THE NITPICKER! _________________________________________________________________ ----------------------------------------------------------------- [8] Suspended Animation Michael Vance & Mark Allen MiklVance2@worldnet.att.net http://www.starland.com/sus [Michael Vance, a professional writer since 1977 and has been published in dozens of magazines including Starlog and Jack and Jill, and as a syndicated columnist and cartoonist in over 500 newspapers. His history book, Forbidden Adventure: The History of the American Comics Group, has been called a "benchmark in comics history". He ghosted an internationally syndicated comic strip, and his wrote own strip, Holiday Out, that was reprinted as a comic book. Vance also wrote the comic books Straw Men, Angel of Death, The Adventures of Captain Nemo, and Bloodtide. He is listed in the Who's Who of American Comic Books and Comic Book Superstars. His short stories have appeared in dozens of magazines and recorded by actor William (Murder She Wrote) Windom. Suspended Animation, has been published for more than sixteen years, and Vance worked in newspapers for 22 years as an editor, writer and advertising manager. Mark Allen lives in Western Oklahoma with his wife and daughter. He has been a Baptist minister for over 15 years, and has also written for the Oklahoma news industry. Having indulged in comics for nearly 30 years, Mark now enjoys using the written word to share with others what he believes is a true, and extremely under-acknowledged, art form.] All Star Batman and Robin, published by D.C. Comics, 40 pages, $2.99. One of the most highly-anticipated Batman projects to come along in years is here. Hip, hip....hooray..? In case you can't tell, the first two issues of All-Star Batman and Robin have left me cold. Despite being helmed by two of the most talented and popular professionals in comics, there is, quite frankly, nothing inspired, nothing new in the first two issues. Upon hearing that, some may decry, "You have to give it more than two issues!" To which I say, at three bucks a pop, I want to be dazzled. Or, at least interested. This book fails in both counts. Writer Frank Miller created arguably one of the best Batman stories of all time with his Dark Knight miniseries in the '80's. His current Batman, however, simply isn't up to snuff. In his initial contact with Dick Grayson, the boy who will be Robin, the caped crusader proceeds to curse at him and smack him around. Am I the only one who thinks Batman can be scary without abusing a minor? The gruff, grizzled Batman of the Dark Knight series, one would assume, was the product of years of crime-fighting. Yet, Miller's young Knight would seem to be the same character; where's the progression? I'm not sure what Miller's going for here, but it doesn't look good. The lagging story is wrapped in beautiful art work by Jim Lee; work which may be the best of his career. Dynamic, realistic, dramatic....a flash-bang action flick comes to the comic book page. Then again, do you know how many action movies I've bailed on due to lack of story? The problem of lack of imagination in the storyline succeeds in poking its ugly head up, even in the midst of a bunch of pretty pictures. All Star is not recommended, despite the artwork. If you are so inclined, however, find it at your local comics shop and online retailers or auctions. Mark Allen For information on the exciting Oklahoma Cartoonists Collection and Toy and Action Figure Museum go to www.fourcolorcommentary.blogspot.com/ _________________________________________________________________ ----------------------------------------------------------------- COMICS OBSCURA Mike Curtis shandafa@cyberback.com [COMICS OBSCURA are facts Mike Curtis has dug out during his 30 years of collecting Superman and writing about comics. His website for his comic imprint is www.shandafantasyarts.net ] THEY WEREN'T THE FIRST JLA ON TV While the 1997 CBS telefilm of JUSTICE LEAGUE was larger budget, the actual FIRST live action appearance of the JUSTICE LEAGUE came in 1966, and not in the HALL OF JUSTICE, but in the HOLLYWOOD PALACE. MILTON BERLE was a guest, while ADAM WEST was the host. In advertisements for the episode, they ballyhooed the 'JUSTICE LEAGUE' appearance, with West as BATMAN, Berle as SUPERMAN and MARTHA RAYE as WONDER WOMAN. _________________________________________________________________ Thanks for subscribing to the Comic Book Network Electronic Magazine (CBEM) --------------------------->Disclaimer<--------------------------- This is an ANNOUNCE only mailing list, only the Editor can send messages to the list. No one else has access to the subscriber list. Replies to these messages will be received by the Editor ONLY, so you must CC: individual contributors if you want them to get your E-Mail. The E-mail to the E-mag MAY be used in future issues at the Editor's discretion UNLESS you specifically request that they not be. It is our policy to withhold names and/or Addresses, by request only, from letters of comment. All contributors are required to use their real name and have a valid Email address for their columns to be published. Send Email comments to: ComicBkNet@aol.com Material for inclusion in the Emag - press releases, solicitations, column submissions, Letters to the Editor, guesses for the trivia contest should be sent to ComicBkNet@aol.com The EDITOR, not the submitter, has final approval and edit rights on ALL material. Printed comic books and advanced copies for review in the Emag should be sent via US Mail or UPS to David L. LeBlanc 84 Heather Circle Jefferson, MA 01522-1419 TO Subscribe send a message FROM the intended address to: ComicBookNetworkEmag-subscribe@yahoogroups.com TO Unsubscribe send a message FROM the address to be dropped to: ComicBookNetworkEmag-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com You may also unsubscribe from the Egroups Web page at the short cut below. Shortcut URL to the Egroup page: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ComicBookNetworkEmag All contents COPYRIGHT 2006 The Comic Book Network. 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| << February11, 2006 - [ComicBookNetwork E-Mag] CBEM 562.02 |
February11, 2006 - [ComicBookNetwork E-Mag] CBEM 562.07 >> |
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