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Subject: [ComicBookNetwork E-Mag] CBEM 570.07 - April08, 2006



THE NITPICKER continues . . .

<-------------------------------->
"..., ....!!!!"

TITLE: The New Avengers: Illuminati.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Brian Michael Bendis (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: And this comic book may just build this whole column
for me this week! On page 20, Black Bolt can't communicate with
the others because Professor X's not there to read his mind like
other times... HOW ABOUT GETTING A PIECE OF PAPER, AN ETCH-A-
SKETCH OR A VOICE SYNTHETIZER LIKE STEPHEN HAWKING???!?!

NIT-O-METER: Sorry for the yelling, this gets 9 Bazzars, it's
mighty stupid to have the guy incommunicado.
<-------------------------------->
"EYEPATCH.... BAD ATTITUDE.... NICK FURY?"

TITLE: All-New Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe A to Z.

ISSUE: 02 of 12.

CULPRIT: Meghan Kerns (book designer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 36, in Callisto's profile, we have an inset
picture that supposedly shows how she looked before Masque
changed her arms into tentacles... only that's not Callisto in
the inset, it's Erg. The image comes from page 19 of X-Men: The
198 #1, and not only it's not the same person, Callisto is female
and Erg male!!!

I must admit, when I first saw Erg in the aforementioned issue, I
had never had any contact with the character, and assumed it was
Callisto. I was going to rant about it in this column, since if
that was Callisto, and she had lost her powers and reverted to
human form, then she wouldn't be in the camp surrounding the X-
Mansion... good thing I kept quiet, waiting for the story to
unfold, and found out that it was a completely different
character.

NIT-O-METER: Now, you may call me trigger happy, but I'm giving
this 10 Bazzars, this is a big mistake. It's like having a
profile of Wolverine with an image of him in civilian clothes,
and insetting a headshot of D-Man, just because his mask looks
like Wolvie's....
<-------------------------------->
"THE AVENGERSL, THE FANTASTIC FOURL, THE DEFENDERLS..."

TITLE: Official Handbook Of The Marvel Universe: X-Men 2005.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Ronald Byrd, Marc-Oliver Frisch, or Stuart Vandal
(writers).

NIT-TO-PICK: As happy as I am to see that some people, as myself,
consider Lockheed a member of the X-Men and not just Kitty
Pryde's pet, his profile in this book says "GROUP AFFILIATION: X-
Menl (...)", is that a new group?

NIT-O-METER: Minor thing, of course, this gets 1 Bazzar.
<-------------------------------->
"I LEARNED THIS TRICK FROM DOCTOR STRANGE."

TITLE: Official Handbook Of The Marvel Universe: X-Men 2005.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Most likely Chris Sotomayor (select coloring), although
it could be a printing error.

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 31, in Northstar's profile, there's an image
of him and Aurora, his sister, and her left glove is colored
bright yellow, instead of white, as it should be, and as her
right glove is.

NIT-O-METER: Just 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"THIS WRITER IS QUITE ADEPT AT STATING THE OBVIOUS."

TITLE: Official Handbook Of The Marvel Universe: X-Men 2005.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Ronald Byrd, Marc-Oliver Frisch, or Stuart Vandal
(writers).

NIT-TO-PICK: Two nits in one single page! Nothing new with that,
but anyway... In the same page as the previous entry, under the
"ABILITIES" section, it says "Northstar also speaks fluent
French." Uh... he's FRENCH-Canadian; he's from Quebec, OF COURSE
HE SPEAKS FLUENT FRENCH!

What's next, "Captain America speaks fluent English."??!?!?!!?
The "ABILITIES" section of a profile is for listing unusual or
relevant abilities the character has, not obvious information
that is natural to a character given his nationality or species.
I can see it now "Spider-Man is also quite adept at breathing
air."

NIT-O-METER: 5 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"SHE'S FRICKIN' JEAN GREY, WE'RE NOT EVEN BOTHERING TO LIST HER
AS DEAD... WHAT'S THE USE?"

TITLE: Official Handbook Of The Marvel Universe: X-Men 2005.

ISSUE: One-shot.

CULPRIT: Ronald Byrd, Marc-Oliver Frisch, or Stuart Vandal
(writers).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 45, in the listing of X-Men members, Jean
Grey is listed as "not currently a member", when she's deceased,
and other dead characters such as Changeling and Thunderbird I
(John Proudstar) are listed as deceased.

NIT-O-METER: 2 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"X IS FOR UNKNOWN."

TITLE: Uncanny X-Men.

ISSUE: 471.

CULPRIT: Billy Tan (artist).

NIT-TO-PICK: On the cover, yet again Nightcrawler's uniform is
lacking he X on the chest. Then on page 12 he's proudly wearing
the X on his chest. Make up your mind, Tan!

NIT-O-METER: Since it's Tan third time doing this, this gets 7
Bazzars. Or maybe Kut does have X-less suits in case he decides
to become an Avenger.
<-------------------------------->
"I'M A BLACK MOOD TODAY."

TITLE: Uncanny X-Men.

ISSUE: 471.

CULPRIT: Billy Tan (artist), Sibal (inker), and maybe Brian
Haberlin & Avalon (colorists).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page seven's third panel, since when does Marvel
Girl's skin go black when she uses her powers? Were they thinking
of Sunspot?

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars, it might be a "visual effect", but it's
not consistent with her powers.
<-------------------------------->
"STOP THAT PIGEON!"

TITLE: Uncanny X-Men.

ISSUE: 471.

CULPRIT: Chris Claremont (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: Tadda!!! Chris Claremont returns after one column of
absence! On page 15, a flying Cannonball is hit but the Shi'ar
Death Commando that looks like a high school football mascot or
Big Bird, and he's wounded. Puh-leeze! Cannonball is practically
invulnerable when his blasting field is on; he's withstood a
full-strength punch from Gladiator, the Shi'ar Imperial
Guardsman.

NIT-O-METER: 6 Bazzars, Chris, you should know better... you used
to repeat "Cannonball is nearly invulnerable when blasting" every
three pages of New Mutants back in the day.
<-------------------------------->
"I'LL TAKE YOU AND BLACK BOLT TECHNOLOGY SHOPPING."

TITLE: Uncanny X-Men.

ISSUE: 471.

CULPRIT: Chris Claremont (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: And Claremont nits usually are like Pringles (TM),
once you pop, you can't stop! On page 24's second panel, Rachel
says "From here on, my sessions with Maureen will have to be
long-distance and telepathic." I know you love your powers, but
ever heard about phones, computer chats, and videoconference?
Particularly in the Xavier Institute, one of the most
technologically advanced places on Earth?!?!?!

NIT-O-METER: Another 6 Bazzars for ol' Chris.
<-------------------------------->
"THIS IS MY SUMMER OUTFIT."

TITLE: Uncanny X-Men.

ISSUE: Annual #10 (1986).

CULPRIT: Petra Scotese (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: Yes, I was reading a new issue, just came out. Doing
some back issues reading, I noticed some nits, stuff I didn't
look for back then. First, on page six, on the last panel,
Wolverine's uniform legs are not colored orange as they should be
(I love the brown and orange costume), but skin colored. And it
makes his legs appear shaven.... eww....

NIT-O-METER: Just 2 Bazzars, no more.
<-------------------------------->
"I FEEL HEAVY, AS IF I WAS FULL OF AN INDESTRUCTIBLE METAL..."

TITLE: Uncanny X-Men.

ISSUE: Annual #10 (1986).

CULPRIT: Chris Claremont (writer), yes, even back then!

NIT-TO-PICK: This was Claremont in his prime, but even then, he
was sloppy... I was just too dazzled by his stories to notice it.
The X-Men are rejuvenated by Mojo, and by the point each of them
reaches childhood, they begin to lose their powers. Now, on page
14 we see that Wolverine is now a child, and he's lost his power,
but nothing happens to him.

Why would something happen to Wolverine, you say. Well, it's only
his healing factor that keeps the adamantium laced into his
skeleton from killing him, and even back in 1986 we knew that, if
I'm not mistaken. If he loses his powers, he'd most likely die
because of the adamantium. Granted, this could be Mojo's doing,
it's well within his power. Still, I'm inclined to think it's a
nit, since nobody comments on it in character.

NIT-O-METER: Since it could be Mojo's doing, this gets only 1
Bazzar.
<-------------------------------->
"... AND THIS IS MY SEXY OUTFIT!"

TITLE: Uncanny X-Men.

ISSUE: Annual #10 (1986).

CULPRIT: Petra Scotese (colorist).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 15, last panel, part of Wolverine's uniform
top is skin colored instead of orange.

NIT-O-METER: This is a repeat offense, so I'm giving it 3
Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
"IT'S NOT MAGIC, I PROMISE!"

TITLE: Uncanny X-Men.

ISSUE: Annual #10 (1986).

CULPRIT: Chris Claremont (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: The New Mutants teleport to rescue the X-Men thanks
to their resident teleporter, Magik. However, their destination
is shuffled by Spiral's interference, who says "(...) 'Twas I who
scramble-danced your witchling's spell... (...)"

The problem? Ilyana's teleporting was not part of her magical
ability, but her actual mutant power. I don't doubt that messing
with its working is beyond Spiral's ability, but it's an odd
choice of words.

NIT-O-METER: Only 3 Bazzars, since it could just be a manner of
speaking.
<-------------------------------->
"AM EYE REALLY TALKING AS IF EYE WERE A 12 YEAR OLD HACKER? THIS
IS SO N00B OF ME!"

TITLE: Infinite Crisis.

ISSUE: 06 of 07.

CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: Starting in pages 2 and 3, Brother Eye speech is
written in such a way that he uses the word "Eye" to refer to
himself, that is, instead of using the word "I", as in "Eye am
only doing what my creator has asked." WTF??!?! The first time I
saw it I thought I was looking at the mother of all lettering
mistakes, but no, it goes on throughout the issue.

BTW, all in all, a great issue, far better than the previous one.

NIT-O-METER: All in all, this isn't actually a nit... it's more
of a really, really, reaaaaaaaaaally poor choice on John's part,
but I'm still gonna rate it. 6 Bazzars, it's annoying and
confusing at times.
<-------------------------------->
"I'M NOT MAGICAL... UH-OH... IS THIS A SETUP? AM I GOING TO BE
KIL-AAAAAAAAAAH!"

TITLE: Infinite Crisis.

ISSUE: 06 of 07.

CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: Beginning on page 9, a gathering of mystical
characters takes place, including Star Sapphire (number IV, I
believe, Deborah Camille Darnell)... whose power is not mystical
in origin. The gem that gives her powers and her name comes from
Zamaron technology, not magic.... is she just there to be killed
by the Spectre?

NIT-O-METER: I really refuse to believe Geoff Johns made this
mistake, but if he did, then this gets 10 Bazzars... I'll ask
around, and if I get evidence that the gem is indeed magical,
then I'll retract. And yes, the last part in this nit's title is
a Wilhelm scream (see most movies with Ben Burt in the sound
team, like Star Wars, Episode VI: ROTJ, for example).
<-------------------------------->
"HEY, THAT'S MY LEG YOU'RE BREATHING... AND THAT'S MY NOSE....
AND THAT'S MY... WELL, LET'S JUST SAY YOU DON'T WANT TO PUT THAT
IN YOUR MOUTH..."

TITLE: Infinite Crisis.

ISSUE: 06 of 07.

CULPRIT: Geoff Johns (writer).

NIT-TO-PICK: On page 13, the ship where Batman and other heroes
travel to attack Brother Eye (they're using Ted Kord's, aka Blue
Beetle II, ship for it, very fitting) is attacked by OMACs, and
they start venting atmosphere. Batman just says "Rex", referring
to Metamorpho, and said hero, portrayed in a semi-gaseous form,
says "Already on it, Bats. Breathable air comin' right up."

Problem is, as is consistent with his powers, and as he stated in
Teen Titans V3 Annual #1 (where the dialogues were written by
Johns), he can't produce elements, just turn himself into them.
What, is he going to let the other heroes inhale him and then
break him down in their bodies? And would his body mass even
convert to that much breathable air for more than half a dozen
people?

NIT-O-METER: Johns is stretching himself to thin these days, this
gets 7 Bazzars.
<-------------------------------->
Hot dayamn! Four nits that get 10 Bazzars?  I'm either getting
more vicious, or the comic book creators are getting sloppier...
Even then, the average for this week is 5.3 Bazzars, better than
last week's 4.7, but not as good as the week before that, when we
averaged 6.1 Bazzars.

Of course, when talking about the averages, "good" and "better"
are said from a cynic's point of view, because those mistakes are
what give me something to write about. That's it for now, until
next week, I'll be on the outlook for more nits, because (almost)
nothing escapes...

THE NITPICKER!
_________________________________________________________________
-----------------------------------------------------------------
COMICS OBSCURA                                        Mike Curtis
                                           shandafa@cyberback.com

[COMICS OBSCURA are facts Mike Curtis has dug out during his 30
years of collecting Superman and writing about comics. His
website for his comic imprint is www.shandafantasyarts.net ]

NOT THE FANTASTIC FOUR

The MONKEES originally consisted of MIKE NESMITH, PETER TORK,
DAVY JONES and MICKY DOLENZ.  After the second year of their TV
series, the movie HEAD, and a TV special, 33 1/3 REVOLUTIONS PER
MONKEE, Tork left the group.  They only made two other TV
appearances, on LAUGH IN and THE JOHNNY CASH SHOW as a trio act.
Shortly afterwards, Mike departed, leaving Davy and Micky  to
finish out their contracts with one last album, but no more TV
appearances.  Oddly enough, the next decade Davy and Micky teamed
with songwriters TOMMY BOYCE and BOBBY HART for the group DOLENZ,
JONES, BOYCE AND HART. This new foursome did a TV special, and
lots of public appearances, advertised as "The greatest hits of
the Monkees, by the people who sang them and the people who wrote
them."
_________________________________________________________________
-----------------------------------------------------------------
[8] Suspended Animation                Michael Vance & Mark Allen
                                      MiklVance2@worldnet.att.net
                                      http://www.starland.com/sus

[Michael Vance, a professional writer since 1977 and has been
published in dozens of magazines including Starlog and Jack and
Jill, and as a syndicated columnist and cartoonist in over 500
newspapers. His history book, Forbidden Adventure: The History of
the American Comics Group, has been called a "benchmark in comics
history". He ghosted an internationally syndicated comic strip,
and his wrote own strip, Holiday Out, that was reprinted as a
comic book. Vance also wrote the comic books Straw Men, Angel of
Death, The Adventures of Captain Nemo, and Bloodtide. He is
listed in the Who's Who of American Comic Books and Comic Book
Superstars. His short stories have appeared in dozens of
magazines and recorded by actor William (Murder She Wrote)
Windom. Suspended Animation, has been published for more than
sixteen years, and Vance worked in newspapers for 22 years as an
editor, writer and advertising manager.

Mark Allen lives in Western Oklahoma with his wife and daughter.
He has been a Baptist minister for over 15 years, and has also
written for the Oklahoma news industry. Having indulged in comics
for nearly 30 years, Mark now enjoys using the written word to
share with others what he believes is a true, and extremely
under-acknowledged, art form.]

Avatar: The Last Airbender, published by Tokyopop, 96 pages,
$7.99.

In a time long-past, (or perhaps far in the future...?) four
civilizations inhabited the known world; The Air Nomads, Earth
Kingdom, Fire Nation and Water Tribes, all kept in place by the
Avatar, he who had control of all four elements.  Now, war rages
between the ruthless "fire benders" and the peace-loving "water
benders", and only the Avatar can make things right.  But, first,
he must be found!

Tokyopop's Avatar: The Last Airbender is one of the few Manga or
Manga-influenced projects that have ever sparked any interest in
me.  Whether it was due to the cover art, or the nifty digest
format is unclear, but something made me pick it up and
investigate.  I liked what I saw.

Based on the Nickelodeon animated program, the tale itself is
captivating, primarily due to writer Michael Dante DiMartino's
charming characters and simple, straightforward, yet intriguing
storyline.  Sokka and his sister, Katara (herself an aspiring
water bender) are on a fishing trip when an event occurs that
both unnerves and offers hope.  The siblings' sniping interaction
is part of the entertainment, and has an authentic quality,
coming from someone who has watched quite a few brothers and
sisters interact. The art is by Bryan Konietzko.  It's extremely
pleasing to the eye, with a "Disney meets Japanese animation"
look about it.  Lively, colorful, and seemingly made for tales of
high-action, as well as fantasy, it does much to bring
DiMartino's characters to life.

The best part about this book, however, is that it can be read
and enjoyed by all ages.  No "mature readers" label necessary,
and no chance of most adults feeling like they're reading a
"kiddy book".  With humor, action, drama and even the sense of
something like a sweeping epic, Avatar could appeal to many
different fans of fiction, whether comics fans or not.  It's
recommended for all readers.

Find it at comics shops, bookstores, or online auctions.

Mark Allen

For information on the exciting Oklahoma Cartoonists Collection
and Toy and Action Figure Museum go to
fourcolorcommentary.blogspot.com/
_________________________________________________________________
-----------------------------------------------------------------
COMICS OBSCURA                                        Mike Curtis
                                           shandafa@cyberback.com

[COMICS OBSCURA are facts Mike Curtis has dug out during his 30
years of collecting Superman and writing about comics. His
website for his comic imprint is www.shandafantasyarts.net ]

MAYBE THAT WAS THE INSPIRATION FOR THE LEGION OF SUPERHEROES?

The 1943 BATMAN serial was very innovative for the character,
bringing in the Batcave among other ideas.  One idea that stayed
in the serial itself though was one that could inspire a nice
ELSEWORLDS tale.  Batman escapes death time and time again, and
the villain DR DAKA has his own explanation.  There is no "one"
Batman, but instead a squad of them.  This explains why he has to
continue killing them to carry out his plans.
_________________________________________________________________
-----------------------------------------------------------------
[9] ComiX-Fan Reviews                             Eric J. Moreels
                                             x-fan@bigpond.net.au
                                     http://www.comixfan.com/xfan


[Editor's note: Some of the following reviews have spoilers to
plot details. This is a TEXT ONLY newsletter so those spoilers
are not hidden by HTML code as they are on the ComiX-fan site.]

NEXTWAVE: AGENTS OF H.A.T.E. #3 REVIEW

Reviewer: Mike Sangregorio

When I kill you with a motorcar, you should have the common
decency to stay dead.

Writer: Warren Ellis
Artist: Stuart Immonen
Inkers: Wade Von Grawbadger
Colorist: Dave McCaig
Letterer: Chris Eliopoulos
Asst. Editor: Sean Ryan
Editor: Nick Lowe
Consulting Editor: Mike Marts
Editor in Chief: Joe Quesada
Publisher: Dan Buckley
Published by: Marvel Comics

First and foremost this review is fraught with spoilers, so
please read at your own risk.

If you do not consider him the best writer in comics, then you
have to at least admit that Warren Ellis is in the running for
best writer of a book that has superheroes twisting the nipple of
the military-industrial complex. This claim to fame, as it reads
on the last page of this issue, is what there is to love about
Nextwave: it's better at polarizing an audience than half an
issue of Infinite Crisis!

Essentially, if you thought that the first two issues were too
low on the Ellis scale of entertainment to warrant a second look,
then this issue is going to rub you the wrong way no matter what
I say. Otherwise, if you are like myself and find Nextwave to be
an enjoyable, albeit irreverent, ride through the oft-forgotten
comedic roots of our lovely medium, then this will justify the
$2.99 that gets added to your pull list.

For those of you just joining the party, each story of this book
is a semi-self contained two issue arc, with the occasional
reference to the "Beyond Corporation" and the "Highest Anti-
Terrorism Effort" to link the smaller stories together. This
issue gives us half the fight with the Ultra Samurai, the latest
Unusual Weapons of Mass Destruction. As hilarious as he is bad-
ass, this villain is best described by imagining the finer points
of Vic Mackey from The Shield being able to turn into a
Transformer.

At first glance it may appear that Warren Ellis, who is now
exclusive with Marvel, is simply riding out his almost assuredly
mandatory quota of superhero stories by taking the few characters
he can use without causing an uproar and writing whatever he can
to fill 22 pages (24 if you count the hilarious recap and
"letter" pages), but no that is what the Ultimate Gah Lak Tus
books are for.

Rather than simply allowing us to wonder how this story is going
to be different from any other superhero book, Ellis asks the
fans to expect the unexpected. He God honestly tries to bring
true absurdity to the mainstream comic book. And he could not
have a better partner for doing so! Immonen's art is finally able
to come across with a unique style that is far beyond what has
been seen in his other work such as his Ultimate X-Men run.
Between the two of them, and the faux-Nick Fury, Dirk Anger, with
his ridiculously large weapons ("he runs HATE sitting around in
his pretty pink pajamas..." if you have read this far and have not
yet visited http://www.myspace.com/thighsofsweetthunder please do
yourself the favor). Nextwave is never what we have been
conditioned to expect. If the original run of the Defenders
(post-the "big four" roster) taught us anything it is that the
Marvel universe is hilarious when you can take a step back and
acknowledge how absurdly ridiculous some of it is.

Where else can you see Boom Boom and Machine Man fighting Fin
Fang Foom...and actually enjoy it? Not that Ellis ever bothers to
use the characters original codenames for anything more than
fodder for more in jokes. I am willing to bet that half the
people reading the book would not even know who Aaron Stack is,
but now they can watch him tell everyone that his robot brain
needs beer while the erstwhile daughter of Ulysses Bloodstone,
Elsa, tells us colonials to drive on the right side of the road.

The members of the Nextwave team are not the Watchmen, but they
may very well be their thematic antithesis. The characters cannot
even take themselves seriously, but neither should the fans. The
book is not trying to give you an uber-serious take on what is
really an over the top genre of superheroics. Instead it offers a
break from this type of storytelling, complete with beautifully
rendered, almost John Woo-esque, action sequences. Again, Immonen
showcases not only an ability to perfectly encapsulate the
characters over-exaggerated reactions but show off a dead on
ability to both tell and drive the story all by himself.

Another compliment to this is Ellis' one liners. When the
aforementioned Miss Elsa ("she speaks with an accent..." What, you
haven't downloaded the theme song yet?) is embroiled in a to the
death fight with the living Broccoli Men of the Beyond
Corporation's human resources department, who want the Nextwave
team back under their terror-inciting wing, she yells out about
her being President Frankenstein for no reason. This is absurdity
at its best. Completely off topic from anything that you have
come to expect and all the better for it.

This though is one of the few complaints that have thus far
surfaced about reading this series. Sometimes Ellis is just too
weird. I love the dialogue but especially with the refreshingly
different Broccoli Men, sometimes it is difficult to understand
what Ellis is even trying to get across. More often than not,
this is me reading way too much into his playing around with
words that we usually do not see together, but still...be wary.
Other than that, you should probably go read Nextwave, if for no
other reason than Monica Rambeau has completely ignored her
appearance in Thunderbolts where Fabian Niciezia renames her
"Pulsar."

ART: 3.5
STORY: 4.0
OVERALL: 4.0
_________________________________________________________________






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