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| March 10, 2004 |
addiction2food
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Volume 1 Issue:4
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Please pass along a copy of this newsletter to your friends!
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Food addicts will find
helpful information, insights, articles, tips,
recipes, humor and motivational tools to assist you in finding recovery
from your addiction to food.
By subscription only! Welcome to your next issue of
""addiction2food"".
You are receiving this newsletter because you requested
a subscription. Unsubscribe instructions are at the end of this
newsletter.
To see past issues of this newsletter check out the newsletter archive
on my website: www.addiction2food.com
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| IN THIS ISSUE |
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- Sponsor
- Feature
Article
- OA Story
- Motivation
- Self-Help
- Humor
- Body Image
- Recipe
- Subscribe/Unsubscribe
information
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| SPONSOR |
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| Gentle Breakfast, B.J. Reid R.N. |
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Gentle Breakfast
So many of us start the day rushing to leave the house. The alarm
goes off and we hit the snooze button trying to get just a few more
minutes of sleep. After we finally get out of bed we rush to get
showered and dressed. Then we might grab a cup of coffee and a donut or
something far more substantial at the local fast food restaurant.
This sets the tone for the day and in today??™s society many of us are
expected to work right through lunch grabbing what we when we can.
That contributes to making Americans more obese today and if you check
out the headlines we see new studies every day that prove obesity is on
the rise and will soon become the top ranking cause of death in America
today.
In treatment I was exposed to a ritual they called ???gentle
breakfast???. Every morning when we went to breakfast we did the
same thing and I tell you it was wonderful. We would get our food
and bring it to the table. Then we??™d prepare our breakfast by adding
milk and cutting up and adding fruit. Followed by sitting for a
minute or two to collect ourselves. Those of us sitting at the table
would join hands and say the serenity prayer. Soon we??™d hear
some soft, gentle music playing in the background and then one of the
counselors would start to read a parable (some story with a lesson) to
us while we ate our breakfast in silence. When we finished our
meal we would then, and only then, drink our water. This signaled
the conclusion of our meal.
Sometimes the counselor would read a page out of OA??™s official
literature or out of ???Just for Today???. Sometimes they would read
something they had prepared. My favorite piece was about the duck
who wanted to be an eagle. This little duck was living with its
mother and siblings and was loved by them, but it wasn??™t enough.
The duckling wanted to soar with the eagles it spied every day. It
tried desperately to fly with the eagles even going so far as to jump
off a little hill that was close by but it could not fly with those
eagles. It was sad and then it was mad when the eagles paid no
attention to it at all. Momma duck and all of the duckling??™s
brothers and sisters tried to comfort the young duckling to no
avail. The sibling tried to get their unhappy sister to join them
in games and failed miserably.
One day the eagle that this young duckling wanted to be like swooped
down and tried to catch it in its talons, but missed as luck would have
it. Momma duckling saw her frightened duckling and flew to it and
then hurried it away to safety. Her little duckling was crying
uncontrollably with fear and confusion. Momma and siblings
gathered round and offered comfort. The little duckling felt loved
and wanted. Then, all of a sudden, it finally understood. It was a duck,
not an eagle, and it could be happy as a duck if it just allowed
itself. The duckling finally understood that it was asking for
something from the eagles that the eagles just could not give. But her
family could and that was acceptance and love.
The lesson hit home for me. I kept trying to deny that I was a
food addict and wanted to be ???normal???. I wasn??™t ???normal??? though
because I have a disease. That doesn??™t make me a bad person
because I am not the disease. That is not who I am. There is a
community of recovering food addicts that was and is ready to accept
each of us. That applied then and it still applies. That
message moved me so much at that time that I added, ???I am a duck.
Quack! Quack!??? to my introduction of myself at support meetings that I
attended.
It went like this. ??? Hi, my name is Billie and I am a recovering
food addict/compulsive overeater and I am a duck. Quack! Quack!???
I still do this gentle breakfast as often as I can. I tape what I
want to hear with some inspirational music in the background and then
play it for myself while I follow the routine of ???gentle breakfast???.
Please give it a try sometime. I don??™t think you??™ll be disappointed.
You don??™t have to isolate. You don??™t have to be alone.
Remember, addicts can be ???alone??? in a crowded room. There are
people who will accept you as you are, if you??™ll just let them.
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| OA Story: Judith M. |
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Thank you God
Judith M.
Hi, everyone:
Today I am celebrating, with gratitude, five years
of continuous abstinence. For 37 years, I ate compulsively and
addictively. For the last 20 of those, I dieted and binged alternately,
with yo-yo swings in weight, reaching new highs each time. For the last
4 of those years, I knew about OA and ran from it as from a plague,
promising myself that if I'd just stick to this new diet, this expensive
remedy or that, I wouldn't have to go through the shame of admitting
that OA was where I belonged.
On August 29, 1990, I slunk into my first OA
meeting, defeated, ashamed, afraid. I was uncomfortable with a lot of it
-- people were hugging each other, they kept saying "Keep coming back"
to me, they chorused greetings in unison -- and did it every single time
someone said her name. And then they prayed...holding hands! I thought
prayer should be private, and certainly didn't want to hold hands with
strangers.
But that night, I heard something...not the steps,
not the speaker's story, though I remember bits and pieces of it, but
"three meals a day with nothing in between, one day at a time". I got
up the next morning and thought, "I'll try that today". And I did it --
despite my fear that I would starve, shrivel up and die between meals.
Solved that by eating BIG meals! (I hadn't heard "moderate" yet!) And
as soon as I could find another meeting, I went to it, and kept
choosing, one day at a time, to go to meetings and to eat only three
meals a day -- three moderate meals a day -- and here I am, five years
later!
My life since then has been a series of miracles.
I haven't gotten everything I wanted when I went into OA, and haven't
gotten it exactly as I wanted it. I wanted to lose 40 pounds...I've
lost 20. I wanted to be more self-disciplined, to exercise daily, to
finish what I start...and I'm not there yet. But so many of my deepest
desires have been met -- to have a happier marriage, to have and enjoy
better physical and financial/material well-being, to do work that I
loved, to become a published book writer, to have improved relationships
with certain family members, to live abroad for an extended period of
time (just got back from 2 years in the south of France). These things
hardly ever happened the way I expected, but they happened. A lot of
the time, in fact, they first showed themselves as crises -- health
problems, money problems, marital problems. This experience has taught
me to follow one of my sponsors' instructions to say "Thank you God" for
everything that happens to me, good or bad.
Even better than that, needs I didn't know I had
have been met -- to have an active spiritual life, to put God first
instead of myself, to be of service to others. When I choose to accept
them, those are the greatest gifts of all.
I came to OA to lose weight, to become thin. God,
in His wisdom, hasn't granted me that yet (likely because I'd figure I
was "cured" and take back my will and my life). But I have real
physical recovery, real emotional recovery, real spiritual recovery. I'm
not the same person I was...my attitude and outlook on life have changed
completely. And I'm able, today, to walk "in the sunlight of the spirit"
-- a phrase that never meant much to me until recently. (Oh, yeah, I
still experience clouds from time to time!)
I feel happy, joyous and free today. It's all due
to God and OA, and to my daily choice to put down the food and live.
Thank you, God -- and thanks to all of you, who
show me the way through sharing your experience, strength and hope. I
feel very grateful today.
Judith M.
a compulsive overeater
and grateful OA member
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| Motivation: Guest Columnist: Elizabeth Mullen |
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Well
Being v. Misery
It's been said that each person has a choice to
cultivate one of two things: either well-being or misery.
This primary choice is at the root of all the
other decisions a person makes in a lifetime; and has a
far-reaching affect on how he/she relates to others. To follow are some
indicators of how this cultivated state plays out in specific areas of
one's life.
| choice: well being |
choice: misery |
| willingness to
promote physical vitality by exercising, self care, etc. |
will take care of
physical problems when they arise |
| handles minor
details of life (paperwork, cleaning, keeping agreements,
etc.) even if seemingly unimportant |
gets stressed by
minor details of life; often ignores those that are deemed
unworthy. |
| feels joy regularly |
feels irritated
regularly |
| expresses gratitude |
expresses
dissatisfaction |
| feels serene even
through emotional "dips" |
feels agitated even
through emotional "highs" |
| "I know I'll come
out of this better than ever." |
"I'm scared because
I'm happy, and it won't last" |
| embraces/initiates
change |
fears/stops change |
| in relationships:
"Its so good being with you." |
in relationships:
"Please be with me tomorrow." |
| adapts to
unpleasant surprises |
is paralyzed by
unpleasant surprises |
| philosophy accepts
negatives, without dwelling on them |
philosophy gives
negatives more weight than positives |
| lives with daily
awareness of death |
experiences acute
fear of death |
| in times of
struggle: inspires others as example of hope, heroism and
happiness |
in times of
struggle: drains others through narcissism, criticism and
anger |
| for fun: creates,
gives, plays, shares. Entertainment has overarching purpose. |
for fun: substance
use, sleep, self-indulgence. Entertainment has no other
purpose. |
| manages emotions |
moved by emotions |
| acts on rational
decision |
moves by emotional
reaction |
| thinks
purposefully, in self-programmed way |
thinks habitually,
in programmed way |
| benefit:
experiencing emotions of choice. |
benefit: attention,
pity, the action of others, emotional "charge" |
| energy level:
sustainable |
energy level: peaks
and valleys |
| makes decisions
based on values and principals |
makes decisions
based on desire. |
Copyright 2001,
2002 by Elizabeth Mullen. All rights reserved. May be electronically
duplicated without permission for not-for-profit use onlywith
complete copyright information intact. All other duplication,
please contact the author at www.elizabethmullen.com
We
welcome guest columnists. Please submit articles in plain text
form to: bj@addiction2food.com |
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| Self-Help; Guest Columnist:
Remez Sasson |
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The
Power of Negative Thinking
By
Remez Sasson
For
some reason, most people find it easier to think in a negative way than
in a positive manner. It seems that some effort is needed to think
positive thoughts, whereas negative thoughts come easily and uninvited.
This has much to do with education and the environment one has been
living in.
In
order to understand how positive thinking works, and how to use it
efficiently, it is important to understand the power of negative
thinking.
If
you have been brought up in a happy and positive atmosphere, where
people value success and self-improvement, then it will be easier for
you to think positively and expect success. If you have been brought up
under poor or difficult situations, you will probably go on expecting
difficulties and failure.
From
an early age people let outside influences shape their minds. They view
everything through their predominant mental attitude. If their thoughts
are positive, that is fine, but if they are negative, their lives and
circumstances will probably mirror these thoughts.
If
you believe that you are going to fail, you will unconsciously sabotage
every opportunity to succeed. If you are afraid of meeting new people or
having close relationships, you will do everything to avoid people and
relationships, and then complain that you are lonely and nobody loves
you.
Do
you often think about difficulties, failure and disasters? Do you keep
thinking about the negative news you have seen on the TV or read in the
newspapers?
Do
you see yourself stuck and unable to improve your life or your health?
Do you frequently think that you do not deserve happiness or money, or
that it is too difficult to get them? If you do, then you will close
your mind, see no opportunities, and behave and react in such ways, as
to repel people and opportunities. You let the power of negative
thinking rule your life.
The
mind does not usually judge or examine thoughts and opinions before
accepting them. If what it hears, sees and reads is always negative, it
accepts this as the standard way of thinking and behavior.
The
media constantly bombards the mind with a lot of information about
disasters, catastrophes, wars and other negative happenings. This
information sinks into the subconscious mind, and let the power of
negative thinking grow. By occupying the mind with negative thoughts and
expectations one radiate negative energy into the surrounding world,
thus creating and recreating more negativity, failures and disasters.
The
mind can be directed towards positive thinking or negative thinking. The
power of thoughts is a neutral power. The way one thinks determines
whether the results are positive and beneficial or negative and harmful.
It is the same of energy acting in different ways.
Persistent inner work can change habits of thoughts. You must be willing
to put energy and time to avoid negative thinking and pursue positive
thinking, in order to change your mental attitude.
Each
time you catch yourself thinking a negative thought, change it into a
positive one.
If
you catch yourself visualizing failure, switch to visualizing success.
If
you hear yourself repeating negative words, switch to positive ones.
If
you hear yourself saying, ???I cannot???, say to yourself, ???I can???.
Do
you repeat useless and unnecessary negative words and phrases in your
mind? Change them to positive ones.
Open
your mind to positive attitude, happenings and events. Expect them and
think about them, and soon you life will change for the better.
Decide that from today, from this very moment, you are leaving negative
thinking behind, and starting on the way towards positive thinking and
behavior. It is never too late. Soon your life will turn into a
fascinating, wonderful journey.
---------------------------------------------
?© Copyright Remez Sasson
Remez Sasson writes and teaches about spiritual growth, meditation,
positive thinking, creative visualization and mind power, and issues a
biweekly ezine, "Consciousness and Success". He is the author of the
books "Will power and Self-Discipline" and "Visualize and Achieve".
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| Humor |
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- Are you tired of
being told like it is?
- Still looking for
that easier, softer way?
- Had enough of that
same old time-tested direction?
No Reading! No Writing! No Deadlines!
- STANDARD
FEATURES INCLUDE:
- *Listening
to your sniveling without constant reference to the Big Book or Steps!
- *Co-signing
your excuses and rationalizations!
- *Work
only the Steps you want, in the order you choose!
- *Learn
the secret of giving it away before you even have it!
- *Why "walk the walk" when you
can just "talk the talk?"
- *Remember,
it's better to look good than to feel good!
- *Why save
your ass at the cost of losing your face?
-
-
- Unknown Author [ http://www.thejaywalker.com
]
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| Body Image: Guest Columnist: Kali Munro |
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Body Image: Living
in Our Bodies
by Kali Munro,
M.Ed., Psychotherapist, 2000
I have yet to meet a woman who, at some point in her life, has not felt
discomfort with the size or appearance of some aspect of her body. A
woman does not have to be anorexic or bulimic to dislike her body or
struggle with what she eats. The fact that there are vast numbers of
women who are critical about their bodies and have an uneasy
relationship with food is simply not captured by statistics, which
invariably refer to the problems of anorexia and bulimia. The tendency
to focus on eating disorders does not do justice to the pain and turmoil
of the many additional women who struggle with what to eat, deny
themselves food, or overeat.
Anorexia and bulimia are serious health problems and should not be
minimized. But, there are thousands of women who do not fit these
categories for whom eating is an emotionally laden issue and a health
problem as well. Most women have had some form of dysfunctional
relationship with food in their lifetime. Who hasn't gone on a diet,
eaten too much for emotional reasons, or worried about how much they
weigh? While on the surface this may not seem problematic, particularly
when these issues are often the subject of everyday conversations with
other women, it does reflect an insecurity about our bodies and a
stressful relationship with food.
Having issues with our body and food can range from a woman worrying
about her weight and what to eat once in awhile, to, on the other end of
the continuum, worrying every moment of every day. The pain some women
carry around about their bodies and food can be devastating, and is
fuelled by seemingly innocent conversations about weight, dieting and
the size of women??™s breasts, thighs, and stomaches.
Take Maria, for example. Every morning when she wakes up, she mentally
goes over the 'flaws' of her body, wondering how she can slim her belly
even further, how she can take the pounds off her bum, and what she can
wear to slim her body. She mentally skims through the clothes she owns,
wishing she had something that would make her body look better, to look
less 'fat.' She wonders whether or not she should eat breakfast, exactly
what she can put into her body, how many calories the meal would have
and how much exercise she'd have to do to burn off those calories.
Maria frequently compares herself to other women's bodies; women she
meets and knows and women she sees in the media. In her mind, her body
always fall short. She doesn't believe it when people tell her she looks
good. In fact, when someone tells her that she looks like she has lost
weight, she 'feels fat' and tries even harder to lose weight. But, she
doesn't starve herself, or make herself throw up, although she thinks
she should.
Heather, on the other hand, doesn't think regularly about what she
eats, but does think she should lose some weight. She doesn't like her
body and wishes she could be thinner. She has tried many diets but with
no long term success. She wishes her body could be different, but has
'resigned' herself to being this size. She feels guilty and ashamed that
she doesn't have more control, and believes that her body size means
that she is 'lazy.' On bad days, both Heather and Maria buy lots of junk
food and eat it, at home, alone without paying attention to the fact
that they are eating. Both women 'feel fat,' out of control, and ashamed
of themselves afterwards and sometimes for the next day or more. The
next day, Maria responds by clamping down hard with a diet, maybe
skipping a meal, and while Heather may watch what she eats, she
continues much the same. Both women feel ashamed of themselves and
profoundly depressed, although not necessarily visibly.
These feelings of inadequacy and shame that both Maria and Heather have
about their bodies and what they eat, and that so many women experience
to one degree or another, is created and fuelled in a society that
places more value on how women look than on what we think, feel or
contribute. Women's physical attractiveness is such a big issue,
particularly in the dominant white culture, that girls as young as seven
years old are dieting.
Given society's obsession with appearances, particularly women's, it's
no surprise then that many women believe that by changing their bodies,
they can change their lives. But, this only makes matters worse. The
more we focus on changing our body, the more we will feel like a
failure, disappointed at our lack of success or control, and ashamed,
anxious and insecure that our body doesn't look the way that we want it
to. This inevitably takes us further and further away from our deeper
self, leaving us feeling unsatisfied, lost, irritable, angry and
depressed.
The challenge for all of us is to be ourselves, and to be in our
bodies. When we live in our bodies, feel our feelings, and know our own
perspective, we can't help but feel more connected and at peace with
ourselves. When we judge our bodies we are taking an 'outsider' view,
when what we really need is to learn how to live inside our bodies.
Finding a quiet place, taking a few deep breaths, and tuning in to how
you feel is a good place to begin. Doing this for short periods of time
each day, or as regularly as you can, increases your ability to do this
more naturally. Everyone needs to find their own way of going inward.
For some it is writing in a journal, meditating, yoga, dance, talking to
other people, joining a support group, therapy, taking a bath, or
getting a massage. Anything that assists you to focus inward and to
connect with how you feel in your body, not how your body looks, is
helpful.
Whichever route you take to connect more deeply with yourself is your
choice. Try not to get discouraged if at first you don't feel any
changes, it may take some time and there are other methods to try. There
are some excellent exercises in Marcia Hutchinson??™s book, 200 Ways To
Love The Body You Have, that you can try. Remember there are probably a
number of reasons why food and body image are issues for you. The
process of feeling better about yourself may feel like a slow and long
one, but definitely well worth the journey.
Recommended Readings:
200 Ways To Love The Body You Have, by Marcia Hutchinson.
Transforming Body Image: Learning to Love the Body You Have, by Marcia
Hutchinson
When Food is Love, by Geneen Roth. All of Geneen Roth??™s books are
excellent!
?© Kali Munro, 2000.
www.KaliMunro.com |
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| Recipe |
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Billie's Favorite Breakfast
1 cup berries (fresh or frozen(thawed) strawberries and blueberries)
2 oz. grapenuts
1/4 cup ricotta cheese(part skim)
1 cup skim milk
1-2 pkt. sweetener(Equal or Splenda)
Place all ingredients in bowl. Stir. Enjoy!
Check out my book
for more recipes, a great food plan, tough love, tips for success and
more! wwwaddiction2food.com
Serves one.
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| Copyright Information |
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| Copyright 2004 A&B Enterprises |
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