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April 7, 2004
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addiction2food
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V olume 1 Issue 8
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| Please
pass along a copy of this newsletter to your friends! |
Offering helpful information,
insights,
articles, tips,
recipes, humor and motivational tools to assist you in finding recovery
from your addiction to food.
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By subscription only! Welcome to your next issue of
""addiction2food"".
You are receiving this newsletter because you requested
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newsletter.
To see past issues of this newsletter check out the newsletter archive
on my web site: www.addiction2food.com
Send your comments or
questions to: bj@addiction2food.com
We
Welcome Guest Columnists!
Please submit articles in plain text form to: bj@addiction2food.com
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| IN THIS ISSUE |
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- Recommended
Reading
- From
the Editor
- Humor
- Exercise
and Fitness
- Inner
Child's Play
- Guest
Columnist: BZ Riger-Hull
- Recovery
Tools
- Wisdom
- Classified
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- Subscribe/Unsubscribe
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From the Editor
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Acceptance
I don't wanna. It's
not fair. I can't. No, no no!
Does that sound familiar? I know that early on in my
recovery that's almost always what I'd be saying. People who had
some time in recovery from food addiction would give me help by sharing
their experience, strength and hope with me and I would politely listen
and then find a reason not to do what I heard them say. More
often than not I would somehow find a reason to say that I was
different from them. I was always willing to judge them and find
the differences and of course find a way that I was better than them.
Early in my recovery I did succeed at failing to find recovery for any
length of time for many reasons but primarily for the ones mentioned
above.
It took several false starts and a lot of understanding on the part of
my recovery friends. I remember in treatment sitting in group
sharing my pain and then listening to feedback from my counselor or my
peers and I would respond with one of my favorite expressions from the
beginning of this essay. That was when I got my covers pulled and
was told that I sounded like I was having or about to have a
tantrum. I was then encouraged to stand up and stomp my feet and
shout "I don't wanna" at the top of my lungs because I needed to get it
out and move on. I reluctantly complied with the direction I was
given because I was reminded by everyone in that group that I had said
upon entering treatment that" I was willing to do whatever it took to
find recovery from my addiction to food."
I eventually got past my reluctance to admit and accept in my heart
that I had an addiction to food. I didn't wanna, it wasn't fair,
I couldn't believe it and no I won't accept that I was and still am a
compulsive overeater. I still find myself in denial on occasions
and those occassions usually occur whenever I get that random
craving and my disease is setting me up to fail at recovery. If I
didn't have friends in recovery who can reflect back to me my
thoughts, words and deeds I would become a victim, again, of this
addiction.
It's a reality that I am a food addict / compulsive overeater. To
remind me of this reality I occasionally read my "first step" which
details my behavior in my addiction. I also have photos with
proof of the damage done to my person by this compusion. I have
to smile inwardly sometimes at how strong my denial has been. I
would look at my counselors or my peers and tell them that I really
didn't eat that much or that often and that I hardly ever ate the wrong
foods. As I was sitting in front of them weighing 300
pounds. What could account for that "weight problem" then, so they must
have thought. Denial is very powerful.
Yes it is extremely difficult to accept in one's heart that one is a
food addict. We can be extremely judgemental and unkind to
ourselves. But if we can't accept the obvious because it is too
painful, too shameful and we let our denial get in the way of recovery
then we are doomed to continue repeating our yo-yo cycle of dieting
looking for just that perfect diet.
Let yourself have that tantrum. Be as gentle and accepting and
forgiving of yourself as you would of your best friend. Know that
food addiction is a disease; a chronic, progressive disease. Know
in your heart that you are not that disease and you are not a bad
person. Know that you are indeed worthy of finding recovery and
finding happiness in your new life free of the obsession with food.
Special Love and
Energy to you!
Please feel
free to contact me if you need support or help with your
program of recovery. My instant
messenger IDs can be found on my website and so can my e-mail address.
www.addiction2food.com
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About the
Author
BJ is a recovering food addict and a
registered nurse.
In 1989 BJ found recovery as an inpatient at Glenbeigh Hospital of
Tampa. After returning home she discovered that her recovery
resources
were limited. But she knew that if one wanted recovery badly enough one
could find it anywhere. So BJ set about finding and/or founding
services
which would primarily help her to grow in recovery but consequently
helped many other food addicts..
BJ worked as a registered nurse for
almost twenty years.
Most of that time was spent working in intensive care, adult and child
psychiatry, adolescent addiction and home health care. This experience
was useful in establishing the "Eating Disorder Information and
Referral
Service" which was housed at a local Women's Center in Upper Michigan.
It was there that she helped her clients find recovery!
She has found that working in the field of
food addiction has been an extremely
gratifying experience. Through this work BJ has learned that an addict
can never stop working at recovery. BJ wants to shareher experience,
strength and hope with you throughher new E- book "
Compulsive Overeating: Find Recovery Now!" |
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Humor
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Veteran
Pillsbury
spokesman, The Pillsbury Doughboy, died yesterday of
a severe yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes to the
belly. He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent
years. Dozens of celebrities turned out, including Mrs. Butterworth,
the
California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies,
Cap'n Crunch and many others.
The graveside was piled high with flours as longtime friend, Aunt
Jemima,
delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who "never knew
how much he was kneaded."
Doughboy rose quickly in show business but his later life was filled
with
many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting
much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Still, even as a crusty old
man,
he was a roll model for millions. Doughboy is survived by his second
wife,
Play Dough. They have two children and one in the oven.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
_________________
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. Quack,
Quack!
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Exercise and Fitness
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Safe Aerobics ??“ Low-Impact
If
you are looking to keep fit but suffer from problems with your hips,
knees and ankles you might want to opt for low-impact aerobics.
Low-impact aerobics is far easier on the lower limbs ??“ both feet are on
the ground at any one time. Hence forces on the legs are much
reduced
and so is the strain on joints. Exercise and the necessary
increased
heart rate for improved fitness rely on upper body movements only.
Typical low-impact activities
include aerobic dancing, water aerobics, inline skating, line dancing,
and brisk walking.
Most
sports and community centres now run this form of exercise so why not
check out your local facilities and join in the fun.
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Inner Child's Play
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The Ten-Minute Attitude
Adjuster
By Jenna Glatzer
You
make breakfast. You
get the kids ready. You hop in a
shower. You take them to school. You go grocery shopping. You
run sixteen errands before they come home, at which time you take them
to soccer
practice, dance class, and a friend??™s birthday party.
You make dinner, then clean the house.
You check their homework and tuck them in bed. And by the time you??™re done with all this,
pretty
much all you want to
do is to crawl into bed and sleep for the next twelve hours, but you
can??™t,
because tomorrow morning you have to do it all again.
Sound about right?
YOU??™RE
ON HYPERDRIVE
The
problem with being a person-who-does-it-all is that
there??™s such little time to stop and assess whether you??™re actually
doing
anything enjoyable for yourself. Yes,
just for yourself. Not for your
spouse, your kids, your in-laws, or the neighbors.
You probably spend the little down-time you have
just vegging out with
the TV, a book, or in a bath, but none of those things are creatively
fulfilling.
You
probably have half a dozen goals that you??™ve put off
for ???someday,??? like writing that novel you just know you could write,
or
getting back to painting again. But
when you look at them as a whole, they just sound like big, monstrous
undertakings that you couldn??™t possibly have time to complete. And that leaves you feeling stretched out,
unsatisfied, and maybe even a
little resentful of your family.
TEN
MINUTES A DAY
That??™s
why, instead of deciding, ???I??™m going to write
a novel today,??? you have to instead decide, ???I??™m going to spend ten
minutes today creating something and enjoying myself.???
That??™s all. No
pressure,
and no guilt needed, because it??™s only ten minutes.
During
those ten minutes, you get to be the captain of your
ship and do whatever it is that will please you most at that very
moment. You do not have to work toward any
specific goal,
nor do you need to
write down a plan or a schedule. You
might use those ten minutes toward any creative or business endeavor of
your
choosing, but it must be something you??™re doing strictly for your own
satisfaction. No baking brownies
for the kids??™ bake sale or straightening up your office.
This is time to reflect on and create your own joy.
NO
INTERRUPTIONS
It??™s
important that your family respect your ten-minute
oasis. You may develop a special
sign that it??™s ???creativity time??? and there are to be no interruptions. Some people put a little sign on the doorknob,
others set a timer to beep
at the end, so their children will know when it??™s okay to talk to them
again. Writer Katy Terrega puts on
headsets when she wants
her children to know
it??™s mom??™s special writing time. There??™s
nothing actually playing in the headsets, mind you, but that??™s her
little
secret. The kids assume she can??™t
hear them, so they don??™t talk to her while she??™s wearing them.
MORE
THAN JUST RELAXATION
Sure,
writing a novel might be great, but maybe what you
really need today is just to close yourself into the bathroom, slather
moisturizer all over your body, give yourself a face mask, and just sit
back and
listen to that old CD you love. That??™s
fine, as long as it??™s not every day.
If
that??™s how you??™re using your ten minutes every day,
then all you??™re doing is relaxing, not creating your own satisfaction. Relaxing is important, too, of course, so do
both! Ten minutes for relaxing, and ten
minutes for
creating. Come on, you??™re worth at least
20 minutes a day.
HOW
TO DECIDE
The
concept of taking time for yourself may be so foreign
that you??™ve forgotten what kinds of things you enjoy.
Your own happiness is so entwined with the happiness
of your
family that you start to think the things that they enjoy must be the
things you
enjoy, too.
But
think back to your own childhood and early adult years.
What was it that you loved to do best?
How
about fingerpainting? No, I??™m not kidding. Have
yourself a little time warp and play with play-dough, make paper mache,
or draw
something with markers.
Reading
is nice, but it??™s a passive activity, which is
not the same as actually creating something yourself.
Why not write a poem, or a song, or an essay to
submit to
your local newspaper? Why not write
your own greeting card?
You
might also: record yourself singing, learn how to sew,
design your own web page, make yourself some jewelry with beads you
bought at a
craft store...
CREATING
IS ADDICTIVE
As
you start enjoying this creative time more and more, you
may find that you??™re ready to take another step. Instead
of cleaning out the refrigerator today, go out and
take a ceramics class, or visit the scrapbooking store and look through
examples
and find out how to get started.
As
you become less harried and more satisfied with your own
life, you may find that you??™re an even better spouse and parent than
you ever
were before you started these ???selfish??? ten-minute breaks.
Those who are creatively fulfilled have more to give
to their families. You might even find
that your self-esteem soars when
you have
???projects??? of your very own to show off.
Take the time to embrace the creator
within you, and
see what a brighter outlook awaits you.
Jenna Glatzer is
the editor-in-chief of www.absolutewrite.com,
a popular and free online magazine for writers. She is also the
best-selling author of OUTWITTING WRITER'S BLOCK AND OTHER PROBLEMS OF
THE PEN,
which is recommended by The Writer magazine and Writer's Digest Book
Club, and
has received terrific reviews from writers. Check it out, along
with
Jenna's other books, at http://www.absolutewrite.com/jenna/books.htm.
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Guest
Columnist: BZ Riger-Hull
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The Top Ten Ways To Be Positive In The
Workplace Of Life
by: BZ Riger-Hull
There is a growing volume of research that shows??™
staying
positive is better for your health; you can cope better with stress.
It??™s better for relationships; you keep from judging people and getting
the bad habit of gossiping. It takes much more energy to be negative,
always worrying, thinking of the ??? what if??™s???, the ???should??™s???. Being
positive, living in the present will lighten your life and the mood of
others around you.
1. Attitude is everything. It is the lens that you look
through
to experience your reality. Take a look at your attitude. Are you
negative? Do you color everything with fear or need? How will your life
change if you change your attitude?
2. Treat people with kindness and respect. Everyone that
you
encounter should be valued, treated with courtesy. Acknowledge that
they have feelings and their own perspective on life, they may be
different than yours but they are also valid.
3. Avoid comparison- whether you are looking down at the
people
who have not mastered special strengths or up at people who may be more
experienced or accomplished. Constantly comparing yourself keeps the
focus on the other person instead of what you can do, want to do, and
are good at doing. Look inside and improve from there.
4. Take responsibility for your work, actions, and life??¦
Don??™t
pass the buck. Don??™t make excuses. Take responsibility; acknowledge a
mistake fix it and learn from it. Don??™t beat yourself up about the
mistake, or hang onto past mistakes. Resolve them, own them and move
forward. Today.
5. That doesn??™t work for me. Keep this in mind when
someone
offers a put down. When they cross your boundaries. Your worth comes
from you; your being, your true self. They cannot change your intrinsic
value unless you let them. Make it clear that what they are doing
doesn??™t work for you, keep your boundaries and move forward.
6. Respect other people??™s time and boundaries. If you
are
having a bad day, feeling stuck, or you are just enjoying
procrastinating. Make sure you don??™t use that as an excuse to waste
other people??™s time or cross their boundaries. Time is the most
valuable thing we have. If you feel like wasting your time that??™s your
decision but don??™t waste other people??™s time.
7. Make a ???what I have accomplished list???. Too often
people
make huge to-do lists and then beat themselves up when they have only
accomplished a few things on the list. Keep your master list of what
you want to accomplish so you don??™t forget things that are important to
you, but keep a second list you update daily. Each day keep a specific
list of all the things you did and how much time you spent on each
thing. You??™ll know where the day went, can feel good about what you did
accomplish and see where you need to focus, to get what??™s most
important to you, done.
8. Take notice of the people around you; co-workers,
customers,
clients, vendors, and other people you come in contact with each day.
Acknowledge what they are contributing and don??™t take them for granted.
Thank them for buying from you, for their help, their value to the
relationship, and for a job well done.
9. Enjoy the little things that happen in your day. The
compliment someone gave you on the insight you shared at the staff
meeting. The big smile the customer gave you when they picked up their
order. By recognizing your accomplishments even if they seem small or
routine, you are acknowledging a job well done.
10. Coming from a positive attitude and perspective you
will
feel more in control. Consider each job and interaction as your best
performance, rather than just running them together as part of your
day. You will see the impact you have and the value you offer. People
will be attracted to this. They will notice how well you do things and
they will truly value you.
About The Author
?©BZ Riger-Hull. Author of The Soul of Success http://www.in-spiros.com
For valuable free articles, mailto:A1@smartautoresponder.com
Certified as a Success Coach, ???Four Agreements??? Facilitator, &
Tele-Course leader We help you communicate powerfully, reduce stress,
Strategically Attract success, & increase your financial
well-being. Our coaching programs and Tele-Courses give you the Tools
you need to Succeed.
bz@in-spiros.com
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Recovery Tools
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The Willingness to Heal
By
Margaret Paul, PhD
I have counseled individuals, couples, families and business
partners for the past 35 years and authored eight published books. All
this experience has resulted in the development of a profound healing
process, called Inner Bonding, which anyone can learn and use
throughout the day (free course available - see resource box at the end
of the article). The first step of this process is willingness.
We cannot begin a journey without our willingness to do so.
Without
our willingness to do whatever it takes to heal, we will not begin the
journey of healing and evolving our soul. Doing whatever it takes means
that we are ready and willing to feel, learn about and take full
responsibility for our own feelings - our own pain, fear, anger, hurt,
aloneness, loneliness, disappointment, depression, sense of safety,
worth, lovability and joy. Willingness means that we are ready to
become aware of creating our own feelings with our thoughts, beliefs
and actions. It means we are willing to face whatever it is we fear in
order to heal the beliefs causing the fear.
Willingness means that we choose to be courageous and face our
demons - the shadow side of ourselves about which we do not want anyone
to know. It means that we are ready to move out of denial about the
pain we are in, ready to stop hiding from ourselves. Willingness means
that we are ready to become aware of how much we want control over our
pain, over others, and over the outcome of things. Until we are ready
to see, without judgment, how deeply we want to control everything, and
all the overt and subtle ways we try to have control, we cannot choose
to open.
Willingness means that we are ready to ask for help from a
spiritual
source of strength, and from others who can bring us love to help us
heal. It means that we are ready to acknowledge that we cannot find our
safety without spiritual guidance - that we are ready to invite Spirit
into our heart to nurture and guide us. It means that we have embraced
the journey, the sacred privilege of learning about love upon this
planet.
We cannot move into the next step of the Inner Bonding
process, the
intent to learn about what we are thinking or doing to cause our pain
until we are willing to move out of denial regarding our inner
distress. As long as we are in denial about our pain, we will not
recognize that we have inner pain and may not be motivated to learn
about it. Our denial is one of the ways we are protecting against pain.
We may not be willing to move out of denial until loving ourselves and
others is more important than avoiding our pain.
Willingness means that you pay attention to the physical
sensations
within your body. You cannot know if you are believing or behaving in
ways that are hurting you if you are unwilling to feel what is going on
within your body. Feelings of pain, anger, anxiety, hurt, fear, and
loneliness are physical sensations that occur within the body. When you
numb your body with substances or shut out your inner experience with
manipulations and activities, you cannot know what you are feeling.
We put ourselves on a new path toward our own wholeness when
we become willing to feel our pain and learn from it.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author
of
eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?",
"Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By My Kids?", "Healing Your
Aloneness","Inner Bonding", and "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By
God?" Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com
or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com
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| Wisdom |
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One
reason we must learn to say "Yes" to life -- regardless of
how much we
may not want what it brings -- is that whenever we embrace a
fearful or
negative view of some unwanted situation, not only must we still find
our way through the twists and turns of such trials, but now we must
also walk through them blinded by what is no less than the darkness of
our own discontent.
For
further understanding. . .
The
only thing most of us know to do when life takes an unwanted turn,
bringing us what we don't want, is to take a turn for the negative
ourselves. And when the circumstance in question really makes a wreck
of things, not only do we summarily reject the event seen "at cause,"
but for good measure we often will turn our wrath upon our own lives,
pronouncing them "not worth living"!
Such flashes of frustration
born from our growing sense of futility make sense on the surface of
things, and even seem curative to the self that feels so impossibly
stuck. But a closer look proves otherwise.
What many have yet to
understand is that dark, negative reactions to unwanted events do
nothing to cure them. In fact, these painful impulses have just the
opposite effect. They actually "cement" things -- fixing both
themselves and the false sense of self through which they then are
empowered to run their unhappy course. Here is some help to see the
truth of this.
Each negative response that passes unconsciously
through us actually confirms its own dark perception that life has
"done me wrong"! But this is only half of its occult operation. This
same conclusion -- of having been somehow victimized by an
uncaring
world -- virtually locks the door on the possibility of ever
discovering the real lessons and the truth behind these times of trial.
Whenever life runs counter to your wishes, try to see that it really
isn't life that has denied you your happiness, but that the real
culprit responsible for darkening the moment is some idea you have
about what you need to be happy.
Admittedly, this new and higher
perception takes courage, because instead of struggling to change the
"dark" condition called into question (or just silently stewing over
it), you must turn and face the false self responsible for this
outlook. But the truth is there is really no alternative, not if you
can see that as long as this demanding self stands unchallenged within
you, so will the painful pattern of fighting with unwanted events
continue to occur. The next time that life comes knocking with what you
"don't want," instead of allowing yourself to be dragged through the
old round-around, make these three new choices, and watch how they
dismiss the darkness knocking at your door:
Your first choice
(always!) is to come wide-awake to yourself. Remember: Your new aim is
to not allow old, mechanical reactions to rule the day. Then, in this
awareness of yourself, see that the unpleasantness of the offending
moment is not actually in the event itself but is an effect of
resisting your own perception that something has taken away your
happiness. Key here to escaping this circle of self-perpetuating
punishment is in coming awake to its existence, and how not wanting to
feel a certain way is giving you the very feeling you don't want!
For
your second new choice, stop complaining to yourself (and others) about
what life has "done" to you. All you are really doing is recreating the
very dismal state-of-self you are condemning. Consciously choose to go
the other way, which brings us to the third and most important choice
in this exercise:
Say "yes" to life. Instead of blindly refusing
moments that seem contradictory to your contentment, and then
arbitrarily pushing them away, learn how to embrace these unwanted
moments. Bring them into your real life, into the light of
self-awareness, instead of trying to get rid of them. Your conscious
embrace invites these times to tell you about the self they help to
reveal. Freedom follows.
-- Guy Finley
(Excerpted from Seeker's
Guide to Self-Freedom, Pages 105-107) |
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