addiction2food

V olume 1 Issue14

Offering helpful information, insights, articles, tips, recipes, humor and motivational tools to assist you in finding recovery from your addiction to food.

By subscription only! Welcome to your next issue of
""addiction2food"". You are receiving this newsletter because you requested a subscription. Unsubscribe instructions are at the end of this newsletter.

Many strokes overthrow the tallest oaks.
--John Lyly

If I slip, I will try again. Practice makes perfect, and I expect to practice abstinence until I "get it." What is the alternative?

It's an encouraging sign to be able to give myself a chance to go back and do things differently, without judgement or self-condemnation. For example, did I really hear - and act upon - program suggestions and slogans such as "half measures availed us nothing"; "willing to go to any lengths"; "keep it simple"; "one day at a time"? Whether I am struggling with abstinence or personality defects, those are words on which I can rely.

For today: I will not waste time blaming myself, but instead, try again.


(exerpted from "Just for Today",
a publication of:
Overeaters Anonymous, Inc.
Torrance, California)

Relapse
by Michael Bloch

Busting - for those of us aware of the term, it is our worst nightmare. "Busting" means that after a period of abstinence, we use or drink again.

It is a heartbreaking experience for us, and extremely disappointing for all our loved ones. Not only that, but "busting" can be a matter of life and death - it is a very serious situation. To those reading this article who do not have the disease of addiction, "busting" must seem like insanity and stupidity. You are perfectly correct. And even though we know this, relapse rates are high. The mental hooks that the disease thrusts into us with are very strong and buried deep. We are so smart that we fool ourselves into thinking that we can socially drink/use again. Sometimes, we just couldn't give a damn about being responsible for our illness, it does get tiring. Or we just want to taste the oblivion for one last time. For some of us, it will be our last time - we will die, and perhaps take others with us.

The circumstances leading to busting vary, but the bottom line is that it isn't usually an accident - it is by design. We place ourselves into dangerous frames of mind or into situations that we know aren't healthy for us. For a recovering addict, any human emotion experienced in its extreme state i.e. anger, loneliness, depression, self pity or even euphoria is like playing Russian Roullette. It is very important for us to keep a tight rein on our emotions.

Have I ever busted? Yes, two years after I had accepted my illness. I remember the lead up to it well. I was trying to get my business off the ground and working 3 different jobs to finance it.

Mistake one - overworking.

I was experiencing trouble with one of my employers and was getting pretty wound up over it.
Mistake two - inappropriate anger and frustration

Sleep was becoming an interference to my activities
Mistake three - not sleeping

Due to the intensity of my emotions, I was grieving for the oblivion that drugs and drink used to provide me.
Mistake four - "stinking thinking"

I was working a couple of jobs where alcohol and other drugs were easily obtained.
Mistake five - bad environment considering the other circumstances - constant temptation

I wasn't having much contact with other recovering addicts
Mistake six - I had cut myself off from my support networks

I thought I had "earned" one day's respite from the illness....I'd just have a few drinks to unwind. After all, it was the Christmas season. (!?!?)
Mistake seven, the fatal one - Insanity - I fooled myself. I conveniently "forgot" that I was powerless over these substances and there was no way I could control my intake.

The end result was that I drank and dropped a few tranquilisers. 2 years of hard work was lost in under 24 hours. The next morning when I awoke (or more to the point, regained consciousness), I was in withdrawals. Even after years of abstinence, you return to where you left off. I knew what was going to happen next, so I rang the hospital and begged for detox. I spent the next five days there sweating, shaking and hallucinating. I put my various jobs, myself and others risk through my irresponsible actions. All for the privilege of experiencing oblivion. Insanity and stupidity.

I was once again a very lucky man. They say that God looks after drunks and fools. Seeing that I fall into both categories, I must have got special attention! The hospital looked after me well. I was actually working there as a Ward Clerk at the time of my bust. All employers stuck by me and I was able to return to work 2 weeks later. It was a shameful experience (small town), but I learnt a great deal from it. I hope never to tempt fate like that again.

Looking back on it now, and reading the above lead-up it is all too clear to me why it happened. No accident; I set myself up nicely to fail. Why? I guess I'll never really know. While life was tough at the time, it was nowhere near as bad as it had been during the "dark days". I hadn't really recognised my own limitations, so pride was also an issue. I discovered the hard way that the parasite within (I have published another article on the "parasite" concept) was a great deal more powerful than what I thought - even though I had been taught better than that.

In speaking with a number of addicts over the years, I have discovered one common point in all the "busting" stories. We "forget" that we have no control over the substances that threatened to destroy us. It's like a rather bizarre allergy. The allergic reaction is all the negative things that we do as practising addicts. Yet, like moths to a flame, we are drawn back to it - knowing deep down that we will be burnt.

The other common cause for busting is being "dry" instead of clean and sober. In alcoholic terms, a dry drunk is someone who has ceased drinking but has done nothing to rectify the deep seated behavioural and emotional patterns which are the results of years of self abuse. The dry drunk may seem stable and happy on the surface, but tends to harbour deep resentment towards their lot in life.

This is why it is so important to go into recovery for yourself, not for your wife, children or friends. Recovery is a selfish process, but down the track other people will benefit from your recovery if you have the right initial motivation. If you do stop using/drinking purely for the sake of others, you will more than likely start feeling resentment towards them - and bust when the frustration builds up. Sober is more than cessation and sobriety is a life long study. There are no days off.

Before you get to the busting stage, become aware of patterns in your own behaviour that may lead to the flashpoint situation. Avoid them or remove them. But please remember, if you ever do "bust", it does not mean that you can never be sober. Swallow your pride and ask for help - if you are lucky enough to be still able to.............some of us are made silent forever.

The parasite within likes to win and will wait patiently for decades until the time is right........I remember one recovering alcoholic saying that every morning when he wakes up, he envisions a vulture sitting at the end of his bed.....waiting. He then makes his daily affirmation not to drink. It's a pretty strong mental image, one that I choose not to use, but I could understand where he was coming from.

"I am the secret,
I am the sin,
I am the guilty,
And I,
I am the thorn within"
The Thorn Within - Metallica - Load

Michael Bloch
michael@worldwideaddiction.com
http://www.worldwideaddiction.com

 This is something my father, Richard Green -- a grocery clerk for
 many years -- has compiled as a guide for customers.

 Rule Number 1
 When in the express lane, make sure that all items are rung up and
 bagged before you start looking for your checkbook. Then, after you
 make a futile search for your pen, borrow one from the clerk and
 make sure your checkbook is balanced before giving up the check.

 Rule Number 2
 Never get into the 10-Items-or-Less line with less than 12 items.
 IT'S THE LAW!!!

 Rule Number 3
 When in the 10-Items-or-Less line and you have your 12 to 20 items,
 always ask the clerk if it's okay. That way, if he says "yes," then
 the people behind you will get mad at HIM, not you. If he says
"no,"
 then YOU can get mad at him. Either way, you win!

 Rule Number 4
 Save all your pennies and dump them in the bottom of your purse so
 that when you are in the express lane you won't be embarrassed by
 spending all that time looking for one and not finding any.

 Rule Number 5
 When asked if you want paper or plastic, take all the time you need
 to make the right decision. Don't be rushed; get it right. If you're
 not sure just say "BAG." That way they will have to ask you again,
 giving you more time to decide. You may want to practice this at
 home in case you are ever asked this question at a grocery store.
 
 Rule Number 6
 Always, and I repeat, ALWAYS tell the checker your reason for
 choosing paper or plastic. Checkers by nature
are very curious, and
 if you should fail to give them your reason for choosing paper over
 plastic the clerk is liable to lie awake at night wondering why you
 didn't choose plastic.
 
 Rule Number 7
 Always keep this in mind: If something is heavy and you don't want
 to lift it out of the basket and put it on the belt, don't fret
 whether the checker will automatically know the price. After all,
 everyone knows how smart those clerks are.
 
 Rule Number 8
 Since everyone knows how ignorant those clerks are, you must always
 remember to tell them to not put the eggs and bread in the bottom of
 the bag.
 
 Rule Number 9
 Feel free to ask your clerk anything you may want to know. All
 checkers are experts on how to prepare whatever meal you
should
 decide to make that night. They can give you precise directions to
 anywhere in the state you might want to go. They can tell you the
 best restaurant around, the kind of wine you will like best or
 anything else you may need to know about life. After all, everyone
 knows how smart those clerks are.
 
 Rule Number 10
 Don't forget rule NO. 8
 
 Rule Number 11
 After waiting in the checkout line for several minutes and it's
 finally your turn at the counter, be sure to tell the clerk that
 more help is needed. He will certainly ensure that there is plenty
 of help next time.

 Rule Number 12
 When the clerk greets you and asks how you're doing, don't feel
 pressured into answering him. After all the clerk has to be polite
 -- but
you don't have to.
 
 Rule Number 13
 When the store is not busy and there is only one checkstand with a
 light on be sure to ask the nearest clerk which checkstand is open.
 You don't want to take a chance being tricked into the wrong one.

 Rule Number 14
 If the clerk asks you if you know the price of an item, and you
 don't, tell him it's "2-something" or "3-something." The clerks love
 that because they don't get to use their SOMETHING keys very ofte

1. "A true sponsor is a person who knows the words to the song in your heart and is able to sing them back to you when you have forgotten those words."
2. "The quality of your recovery is proportional to the quality of your surrender."
3. "The Power behind me is greater than the problem in front of me."
4. "What other people think of you is none of your damn business!"
5. "Having a resentment is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die."
6. "We are attracted to people who share in our growth and progress, and we lose interest in those who don't."
7. "When you've got one foot in yesterday, and the other in tomorrow, all you can do is piss on today."
8. "You can't direct the wind, but you can adjust the sails."
9. "An expectation is a premeditated resentment."
10. "Work to become rather than acquire."
11. "Don't give up before the Miracle happens."
12. "Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less."
13. "I don't stay sober on yesterday's sobriety."
14. "The trouble with my point of view is that I can't see the point from which I view it."
15. "Sooner or later, I'm going to forget about myself and tell the truth!"
16. "Who then can so softly bind up the wounds of another, as he who has felt the same wound himself?" ~Thomas Jefferson
17. "Resentment destroys the container it's kept in."
18. "Slips begin with fault finding."
19. "I'm only responsible for the thoughts that I keep."
20. "Growth always moves from the inside out."
21. "Faith flourishes in the garden of gratitude."
22. "Focusing on the moral weaklings of others is a terrific way of not looking at yourself."
23. "Perfectionism is the highest form of self-abuse."
24. "Character is what you have when no one is looking."
25. "God can't fill someone who is full of self."
26. "He then learns that going into the secrets of his own mind, he has descended into the secrets of all minds." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
27. "Be on guard against the unguarded moment."
28. "Think a drink through to the end."
29. "Religion is sitting in a church thinking about fishing. Spirituality is fishing and thinking about God."
30. "We plan our slips."
31. "Love is an active concern for another person's welfare."
32. "If today, I went out and got shot, I'd recover from the bullet wound, but it wouldn't make me bullet-proof."
33. "We're only as sick as our secrets."
34. "When you're home by yourself, you're behind enemy lines."
35. "OA is not for people who need it, it's for people who want it."
36. "Religion is for people who are afraid of going to hell. Spirituality is for people who have been there."
37. "OA won't get me to Heaven, but it opened up the gates of hell and let me out."
38. "When I'm alone in my head, I'm behind enemy lines."
39. "The only mistakes are those you learn nothing from."
40. "This program changes the way I relate to me. That's what I'm trying to do...change the way I relate to me."
41. "If you're not moving away from a drink, you're moving closer to it."
42. "I'd never trade my worst day sober for my best day drunk."
43. "OA does not teach you how to get abstinent, it teaches you how to live abstinently."
44. "Overeatin gave me the illusion that I might be alive."
45. "I am one bite away from never being abstinent again for the rest of my life."
46. "The reason I'm here is because I'm not all there."
47. "There's no speeding in the trudging zone."
48. "Courage is fear in action."
49. "God will heal your broken heart if you give Him all the pieces."
50. "My life hereafter is from this moment on."
51. "Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear."
52. "Go often to the house of thy friend, for weeds choke the unused path." ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
53. "Thank you, God, for the beautiful day I'm going to have if I can just get rid of my fucking attitude."
54. "We're sick people trying to get better, not bad people trying to be good."
55. "If it wasn't for denial my life would be shit."
56. "Change only happens when the pain of holding on is greater than the fear of letting go."
57. "If it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter."
58. "Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can be great." ~Mark Twain
59. "My abstinence depends on who God is, not who I am."
60. "You cannot save your ass and your face at the same time."
61. "Get a sponsor who is louder than you head!"
62. "The value of the average conversation could be enormously improved by the constant use of four simple words, 'I do not know.'"
63. "Fear knocked on my door. I opened it and there was nobody there."
64. "If you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it."
65. "Be careful what you pray for... you just might get it."
66. "This is the sky that Angels would live in."
67. "My mind is out to get me!"
68. "The world ain't gonna kiss my ass just because I'm abstinent."
69. "If you don't hear what you need to hear, say what you need to hear."
70. "Don't let the limits of your imagination block you from what God can do for you."
71. "While I'm in a meeting, my disease is out in the parking lot doing push-ups."
72. "Listen or thy tongue will keep thee deaf." ~American Indian Proverb
73. "People who don't go to meetings don't hear about what happens to people who don't go to meetings."
74. "You can't think your way into right living, you must live your way into right thinking."
75. "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans for the day."
76. "United we stand; divided we stagger."
77. "There is an easy answer to your problem that is neat, plausible and wrong."
78. "Nervousness is just God trying to shake the truth out of you."
79. "Recognizing someone else's human dignity cannot cost you your own."
80. "Happiness is not a place you arrive at, but the way you travel."
81. "If God is your co-pilot, switch seats!"
82. "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got."
83. "Pray daily. God is easier to talk to than most people."
84. "Winners do what they have to do. Losers do what they want to do."
85. "Whatever you put before your sobriety, you will surely lose."
86. "Nothing changes if nothing changes."
87. "Attitudes are contagious. Is yours worth catching?"
88. "I'm not much, but I'm all I think about."
89. "People who relapse usually do so because they accepted the things they could have changed."
90. "Meeting makers make it."
91. "Conditions are never just right. People who delay action until all factors are favorable do nothing."
92. "Misery is optional."
93. "I got into recovery when the unknown became more acceptable than the known."
94. "Life is too short to be small."
95. "My drug of choice was, 'Whatcha got?'"
96. "Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you didn't have a sponsor or work the steps. Ah, but I repeat myself."
97. "I don't yet know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody."
98. "We are here to confront ourselves through the eyes of others."
99. "Do I believe that I can give out one kind of behavior and yet receive another?"
100. "Talk does not cook rice."
101. "A little kid will take your hand and enjoy what happens. How did I get from being that little kid to believing that I was the Chairman of the Universe?"
102. "It doesn't hurt to cry."
103. "What are you doing suffering someone else's pain?"
104. "If you think life's lessons are hard, try addiction."
105. "Thank you God for all you have given me, for all you have taken away from me, and for all you have left me."

Newsletter Design By Newsletter Promote