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Subject: Clean Cut Jokes 10-15-04 - October15, 2004



Welcome To Another Issue Of "Clean Cut Jokes"
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                 Joke #1

  Do you know what happened in September back in 1850?

- California became a state.
- The state had no electricity.
- The state had no money.
- Almost everyone spoke Spanish.
- There were gun fights in the streets......

So basically, it was just like California today only
the women had real breasts.




                        Joke #2

Little Johnny and his mother were out walking. He picked up something
off the ground and started to put it in his mouth, and his mother asked him
not to do that. "Why?" he asked. Because it's been laying outside and is dirty
and probably has germs," explained his mother. At that, he looked at her
with total admiration and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?"
Uh," thinking quickly, (everyone knows this stuff), she replied, "Um,
it's on the mommy test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a mommy."
"Oh." They walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but Little Johnny
was evidently pondering this new information.
I get it!" he finally beamed, "If you flunk, you have to be the daddy!"




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                          Joke #3
A new medical study says that meat can almost be as
bad for you as smoking.
You know what's really bad? Second-hand meat."




                   Joke #4

A man went to the mall this last week to buy Valentines' cards for his
daughter and mother. The 50 feet of displays for hundreds of cards
astounded him. He muttered out loud, "I wonder if they have anything
for ex-wives." The clerk behind the counter said, "Oh, yes sir,
they do have an 'ex'category, but they're in Sporting
Goods." "Really?"
Yes sir. They're called darts."




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              Joke #5

While shampooing our son, 4, I noted his hair was growing so fast
he'd soon need it cut.
He replied, "Maybe we shouldn't water it so much."



One day a blonde is driving home when she rear-ends a man in his truck.
The man stops and yells at her to get out of her car, so she steps out
and tries to apologize.
He then draws a circle in the sand and tells her to stand inside and not
to step out. He goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, walks over to
her car, and smashes in the window.
She begins to giggle, so he looks back at her angrily and tells her to
be quiet. Then he starts beating in the hood of her car.
She giggles again, and he turns to her and says, "You're askin' for it,
lady!" Then he smashes in her windshield.
By this time the blonde is laughing hysterically, so he looks at her and
yells, "What's so funny!?"
She laughs again and replies, "While you weren't looking I stepped out
of the circle three times."



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