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Welcome To Another Issue Of "Clean Cut Jokes" Formatted For The Entire Family Support Our Sponsors, They Keep Us Free !! Replies Will Not Get You Unsubscribed From This List. !!!!! Funny Jokes Database !!!!! If You Send Alot Of Jokes To Your Friends Over The Internet, Then You Need This Download, Give It A Try,!!!! !!!!! Create Your Own Personal Database Of Jokes !!!!! !!!!! Unlimited Number Of Categories !!!!! Funny Jokes Database is a software program that allows you to save jokes from the Internet to your computer No typing, No copying and pasting. It's very quick and simple. With Funny Jokes Database, you can easily (with one click): Send jokes from your computer to your friends by email Display random jokes - Print jokes on your printer Save jokes to a text file Search for jokes that fit your search criteria (e.g. contain Export jokes to Microsoft Word http://hop.clickbank.net/?cleancut/pv1975 Click !!! 800 Tips and Tutorials From 'PC & Internet Companion. !!! Still Struggling With Your PC?" A Mega Library Of 43 Chapters And Over 800 Tips And Tutorials Written In Plain English Take A Look At This Staggering Publication NOW !!! http://newbieclub.com/?learnitall Click ((( Todays Mystery Link !!! ))) Whats Here. Click And See For Yourself !!! http://www.eqqu.com/?todaysjokes Click Joke #1 A redneck boy came home from class and his redneck father asked, "What did you learn in algebra class today, son?" "Well, I learned Pi R Squared," replied the boy. "Now, hold on there son," he quickly replied, "you may think I am stupid, but everybody knows that pies are round." Joke #2 Recently a "Husband Shopping Centre" opened in Booragoon, where women could go to choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended. The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you HAD to choose a man from that floor; If you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place, never to return. A couple of girlfriends went to the shopping centre to find some husbands... First floor. The door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids." The women read the sign and said, "Well, that's better than not having a job, or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" So up they went. Second floor. The sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking." Hmmm, said the ladies. But, I wonder what's further up? Third floor. This sign read, "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework." Wow! said the women. Very tempting, BUT, there's more further up! And up they went. Fourth floor. This door had a sign saying "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak." "Oh, mercy me. But just think! What must be awaiting us further on!" So up to the fifth floor they went. Fifth floor. The sign on that door said, "This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are impossible to please!" Create Pefect Letters, Greeting Cards, Memos. Reports & Much More Discover how to create stunning letters, presentations, greeting cards, promotional materials, memos, reports and more - just like the professionals. 'MS Word MAGIC' is the latest Newbie-Speak ebooklet from the Newbie Club. And it's guaranteed to delight Newbies and Not-So Newbies http://newbieclub.com/wordmagic/?learnitall Click !!! Start Using Your Email Like A Pro !!! !!! Frustrated by Email Techie-Stuff? !!! !!! Can't understand how to use email? !!! Pulling your hair out trying to follow the help files? Now you can start using email like a Pro The Gobbledygook Explained'. End Your Frustrations For Ever http://newbieclub.com/?learnitall Click ((( Now You Can Burn Download Mp3's And Make Cd's FREE !!! ))) ((( Free MP3 Music Downloads ))) ((( FREE MP3 MUSIC DOWNLOADS, MOVIES, AND GAMES! ))) You may never have to purchase another Music CD, DVD Movie Or Game again !!! You can start enjoying all types of free mp3 music downloads in the comfort of your own home. ((( SIGN UP TODAY AND START DOWNLOADING IMMEDIATELY ))) ((( We Are The #1 Free MP3 Music Download Site? ))) http://hop.clickbank.net/?cleancut/mp3center Click Joke #3 Grandpappy and his wife were discussin' their 50th wedding anniversary when she said, "Shall I kill a chicken tonight?" "Naw, said Grandpappy, "Why blame a bird for something' that happened 50 years ago." Joke #4 John had spent a week visiting with his brother Bill. Bill had accompanied him to the airport for his flight back home. After verifying his seat number, John rejoined Bill and explained he'd have to wait an additional two hours. "Why do you have to wait?" asked Bill. "My plane's been grounded," said John. "Grounded?" Bill said puzzled. "I didn't know planes had parents." !!! "Find out THE TRUTH about ANYONE" !!! Criminal records, unlisted phone numbers, FBI files and more! INVESTIGATE YOUR NEIGHBORS WITH NET DETECTIVE.. "FIND YOUR FAMILY TREE FROM YOUR DESKTOP! "GET YOUR FBI FILE! Find UNLISTED NUMBERS, public records, marriage, birth, death records and more Grab your Instant Download Now: http://www.affiliatesuccess.net/cgi-bin/clickthru.cgi?pid=ND&sid=todaysjokes Click ((**"Take a Look at Your Keyboard Right NOW!"**))) Just look at all those keys! Go on, take a look. I'll guarantee you've often wondered WHY there are so many F1,Insert, Tab,Ctrl, Pr Scr, End, Home, Alt, Pause, PgUp, Shift,Sys Rq, and the rest. Why? And what about all those keys with the funny looking characters like ~ # > ?¬ \ ^ ? Sheesh, surely someone put them there for a reason! And yet you NEVER use them. Find out why, and brace yourself for an eye-opener. http://newbieclub.com/keyboard/?learnitall Click Joke #5 Strange Things You Likely Didn't Know 1. A rat can last longer without water than a camel. 2. Your stomach has to produce a new layer of mucus every two weeks or it will digest itself. 3. The dot over the letter "i" is called a tittle. 4. A raisin dropped in a glass of fresh champagne will bounce up and down continuously from the bottom of the glass to the top. 5. A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate. 6. A duck's quack doesn't echo. No one knows why. 7. A 2 X 4 is really 1-1/2" by 3-1/2". 8. During the chariot scene in "Ben Hur," a small red car can be seen in the distance (and Heston's wearing a watch). 9. On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily! (That explains a few mysteries....) 10. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants. 11. Because metal was scarce, the Oscars given out during World War II were made of wood. 12. The number of possible ways of playing the first four moves per side in a game of chess is 318,979,564,000 . 13. There are no words in the dictionary that rhyme with orange, purple and silver. 14. The name Wendy was made up for the book Peter Pan. There was never a recorded Wendy before. 15. The very first bomb dropped by the Allies on Berlin in World War II killed the only elephant in the Berlin Zoo . 16. If one places a tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion, it will instantly go mad and sting itself to death. (Who was the sadist who discovered this??) 17. Bruce Lee was so fast that they actually had to s-l-o-w film down so you could see his moves. That's the opposite of the norm... 18. The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA." 19. The original name for butterfly was flutterby. 20. The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb. 21. The first product Motorola started to develop was a record player for automobiles. At that time, the most known player on the market was Victrola, so the called themselves Motorola . 22. Roses may be red, but violets are indeed violet 23. By raising your legs slowly and lying on your back, you cannot sink into quicksand. 24. Celery has negative calories. It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery than the celery has in it to begin with. 25. Charlie Chaplin once won third prize in a Charlie Chaplin look-alike contest. 26. Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying. 27. Sherlock Holmes NEVER said, "Elementary, my dear Watson." 28. An old law in Bellingham, Washington, made it illegal for a woman to take more than three steps backwards while dancing! 29. The glue on Israeli postage is certified kosher. 30. The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from public libraries. 31. Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a spacesuit damages them. 32. Bats always turn left when exiting a cave! Today's Feature Cartoon The Internets Number 1 Cartoon Host Aikens Cartoons Your loan.... http://www.AikensLaughs.com/forfun/funny1244.html Here! !!!!! Home Inventory !!!!! !!!!! Help Safeguard Your Valuables !!!!! !!!!! Unlimited Number Of Records !!!!! The Perfect Program For Home Owners And Apartment Dwellers !!! Record Detailed Information About Each Of Your Items, Such As !!!!! ITEM, NAME, DESCRIPTION, SERIAL NUMBER, MAKE, MODEL, STYLE, ENGRAVED OR ID INFO, INSURANCE INFO, CONDITION, DATE AQUIRED, COST, VALUE, and much more. !!!!! More Program Features Include !!!!! Print Records, Print Charts, Search, Sort Import and Display your own photo of each item !!!!!Very User friendly !!!!! http://hop.clickbank.net/?cleancut/rwtroll Click More Of Our Ezines To Join ALL FREE just send a blank email to the list you wish to join Rated G Clean Cut Jokes 61452-subscribe@zinester.com Today's Jokes Rated R todays-jokes-subscribe@topica.com todays-jokes-subscribe@topica.com Uncle Toms Adult Cartoons Rated R UncleTomsAdultCartoons-subscribe@topica.com Hard Mail Rated XXX HardMail-subscribe@topica.com Rated R-XXX The Ladies Club !!! Ladies-Club1-subscribe@yahoogroups.com Ladies-Club1-subscribe@yahoogroups.com |
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