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| << December11, 2003 - I-Laugh #141 - Mensa Guide to avoiding monotony ... |
December25, 2003 - I-Laugh #143 - I conceit ! You win ! >> |
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I-Laugh - Your 'Working' Humor Discussion List --------------------------------------------- Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg mailto:eva@workinghumor.com Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf gunjan@workinghumor.com http://workinghumor.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 17th December 2003 # Issue 142 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I have long contended that, however many zillion dollars the federal government costs us, we get it all back and more in the form of quality entertainment. ~ Dave Barry ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ IN THIS DIGEST : Moderator's Comment - ~ Gunjan The Other Moderator's Comment ~ Eva ________________________ CONTINUING DISCUSSIONS What was that again ? ~ Arik Schenkler Comment on issue 141 ~ The Doc To Bluff or Not to Bluff ~ Gunjan Speaking Tip ~ from Tom Antion IDEAS TO PONDER AND DISCUSS On Being Shy NEW DISCUSSIONS Helpful to the Limit ~ Gunjan THIS WEEK'S HUMOR THIS WEEK'S STRESS RELIEVER ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ---------------- SPONSOR MESSAGE ----------------- "Need Ink?... Don't pay retail!" Lot's of high quality solutions to Save You money... Come see how you can Save on your printing costs! Satisfaction IS Guaranteed at MaxPatch Ink! http://www.maxpatchink.com/?laugh {Psst - NOW's the best time to visit Phil. He's got a Holiday Discount going on ~ Gunjan} ------------------------------------------------------------ Moderator's Comments ------------------------------------------------- Dear LaughMates, I don't know about you ... but I certainly enjoyed I-Laugh #141. On the one hand sending out these newsletters is real fun. It can hardly be called a 'JOB' and shouldn't ever become monotonous. Yet, anything that you do week after week can, on occasions, become a drag. So there I was last week, groaning and cursing that it was Wednesday again ... time for another issue ... and I had no ideas for the issue. My mind was as blank as Gunjan's mind normally is ! ;) And then suddenly the words - Washington Irving, Irving Washington, Washington Irving screamed at me from somewhere out of the hollow depths of my head. They've been my 'triggers' (not bad for me eh, I'm using NLP terms now) since ages to remind me that even the silliest of variations in how you do things can help to make them more fun. So I-Laugh #141 was born... It was an escape from having to write the issue, while sharing with you one of the most fantastic tips that I have ever learnt about keeping work (or anything else for that matter) fun, and giving you a live demo on how to use the tip !! How's that ? Now all I need to do is to figure out a way to make all of you say 'Uncle' and then this list will be really rocking ! Before I wind up my tirade, I hope you have visited 'Santa' Phil and availed the Christmas Discount that he has for you ... ;) http://www.maxpatchink.com/?laugh With no further ado, Here's I-Laugh #142 (Doesn't that sound like a hot topic for a symbolic poem ;) ;o) With best wishes Gunjan Who is still busy working on www.workinghumor.com/quotes to search for a quotable signature ! P.S - Please invite your friends to subscribe by sending an email to: 64841-subscribe@zinester.com Please, send any comments to: mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Comments ---------- The Other Moderator's Comment ---------- Dear LaughMates, On my recent trip to Phoenix, I stayed, not at a hotel, but at a magnificent resort, with water park, golf courses, riding stables, tennis, spa and all. Driving up in the cab, it looked like we were entering Disneyland, with all the lights and distractions. The place was so big that the bellman didn't walk me to the room, he drove me there. Of course, there were not one, but many heated pools and jacuzzis throughout the facility; several restaurants, most requiring a car and driver to get to...and simply lovely grounds, in the midst of a desert. Room service, for one meal, cost $42.00. Oh, and the tips they added to the room bill, were $10.00 per day. What a surprise to see that there, after I'd been tipping generously. Yet, who was staying here? 650 professionals, attending a government sponsored homeless conference. (Yes, the bellman told me there were that many people from that group in residence at the resort.) http://www.nrchmi.samhsa.gov/training/default.asp Need I say more? OK I will - 650 people, times 4 nights and meals and entertainment, paid by government, amounts to nearly half a million dollars. Think of how many homeless people they could have helped with that? Oh, by the way, the Ramada was across the street, with rooms at half the price. And, it turns out there was a Dennys and other fast food restaurants with meals at a fraction of the price. Yup, folks could have still attended the conference and they could have spent half the price. Hmmm....an extra $250,000 to cover homeless programs. That could help how many people? Well, that's life in these here States. Eva Rosenberg http://taxmama.com -Where taxes are fun! NEW! Start 10 Businesses Online Without Spending a Dime http://www.1automationwiz.com/app/aftrack.asp?AFID=78247 ----------------------------------------------------------- Oscar Wilde was the master of the studied insult. His jabs at hypocrisy, pretense, and boring conventionality still have a penetrating power. His snubs and put-downs became the talk of his time, no less by his targets than by Oscar Wilde himself. This collection features over 750 biting comments... http://snurl.com/impwit ------------------------------------------------------------ ===== CONTINUING DISCUSSIONS ======== ===> What was that again? Gunjan shalom, My comment... Remind me: What was the question? All the best, Arik Schenkler http://www.LandmarkHouses.com Moderator's Comment - Arik Shalom, The virtual postman delivered your mail so leisurely ... I'm not sure which issue it relates to. So I have no recollection what the question was. The current question is "How do I make everyone on this list say 'Uncle' ?" (And don't answer - "Make everyone read Catch 22" ) Comments - mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=142question ===> Comment on Issue 141 Today's Text: "Catch - 22," by Joseph Heller, who died on this day in 1999. This is the moment in Chapter V when Yossarian asks to be grounded and gets the famous answer: JD looked at her soberly and tried another approach. "Am I crazy?" "You sure are," Principal Levine said. "Can you retire me?" "I sure can. But first you have to ask me to. That's part of the rule. "Then why don't I just ask you to?" "Because you're crazy," Principal Levine said. "You have to be crazy to keep trying to teach these classes when all you get are students who refuse to do what students have to do. Sure, I can retire you. But first you have to ask me to." "That's all I have to do to be retired?" "That's all. Just ask me." "And then you can retire me?" JD asked. "No. Then I can't retire you." "You mean there's a catch?" "Sure there's a catch," Principal Levine replied. "Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of teaching isn't really crazy." The Doc Jest in Literature (A) - lit-subscribe@topica.com Comments - mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=142comments ===> The Complete Idiot's Guide to Bluffing Hey Laughmates, I did a search on Amazon for "Complete Idiot's Guide to Bluffing" "Bluffing for Dummies" "Bluffing" etc. I found things like Poker books. I'm really surprised. I do think something like this should have been published a long time back. A couple of days back I had a colleague give me a chocolate. Offering my thanks I asked if there was some occasion or any cause for celebration & how come she was being so nice today. Guess her reply ... She needed change for the money that she had on her and the shopkeeper wouldn't give her any change unless she purchased something, so she bought about half a dozen chocolates. She didn't want to eat them all so she was giving them away to whomever she was bumping into. Don't you think she could have got just a wee bit more goodwill from her colleagues by a touch of bluffing, or atleast refraining from being so stupidly truthful? So whadya all think ... shall we get cracking on the book? Any of you interested in collaborating with me in writing it ??? ;) ~ Gunjan The EXaggerating WZ-ard of Bluffing? :) www.exwz.com Comments - mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=142Bluffing ===> Speaking Tip Tough Venues by Tom Antion Did you ever present in a barn? How about a bowling alley? How about a community center where drum lessons are being given in the next room? Well I've been in all those situations and more and so far I've survived the recurring nightmares and waking up in a cold sweat just thinking about them. I've been diagnosed with PTVD -- Post Traumatic Venue Disorder. If you are really gung ho about speaking, you're going to jump at the chance to do just about any speaking engagement. You should do this because it helps you to get really good, really fast. As you get more experienced you'll learn to use your pre-program research to recognize potentially disastrous venues before you agree to speak. But sometimes, even with the best of preparation, you get blindsided and have to present in a lousy venue. What is a lousy venue? A lousy venue could have one or more of the following problems: => Bad lighting => Bad sound system => Noise coming from outside => Numerous sight blocking fixtures => Poor heating and air conditioning => Large distance between the stage and the seats This list is by no means comprehensive. One time because of a scheduling mishap, I ended up on the dance floor of the sports bar during lunch time. I would call this a lousy venue, wouldn't you? So what do you do? My first piece of mundane, but powerful information is to stay calm and keep smiling. (Don't think I haven't violated this rule before because I just did last month when a very large amount of money was riding on my presentation and nothing was set up when I got into the room.) Then, determine what is in your control and what is out of your control. If the air conditioning is making noise, you can turn it off yourself or go find a janitor to do it for you. (in past issues I have described ethical bribes where I'll grease a janitor's palm with twenty bucks if he can get something resolved for me in the next five minutes) But if you've got 500 people waiting and the sound system just blew up, what do you do? Go directly to the meeting organizers and ask them what they want you to do. They are under as much or more pressure than you are so again, try to keep smiling and portray a very helpful and accommodating attitude. This is no time for prima donna antics. Know your schedule in advance and the costs to reschedule airfare, etc and be ready to tell the meeting planner what you can and can't do. For instance, if you must make your flight to be able to get to your next speaking engagement on time, then you certainly can't agree to do the presentation after they fix the sound system if it will make you miss your flight. It wasn't the other group's fault the sound system blew up at this event so you can't cause them problems by being late. Be creative and be prepared On big events where they have plenty of money, maybe they would agree to charter you a flight or call in the corporate jet if you can stay and get the job done. Maybe the meeting planner of your troubled event knows the meeting planner of your next event and they can help each other out behind the scenes with scheduling so that you can get both jobs done. On local and smaller events you could have your own portable sound system in the trunk of your car as a backup. For noise coming from the next room, have some pre-planned ad-libs ready to acknowledge the distraction and continue if possible.If the weather is nice, take people outside (which has it's own set of problems) or go to another part of the building. I certainly don't have solutions for all the problems you will run into in your speaking career. What I want to get through to you is that bad venues will happen. Sometimes you just can't do anything about it and you must quit or reschedule the event and sometimes you can be flexible and creative and find a way to get the job done. . . . That's what being a pro speaker is all about. P.S. What did I do about the sports bar presentation? I got manager to turn on the DJ booth and show me how to work the disco lighting. I got the lunch patrons involved and a good time was had by all. [from Tom Antion's 'Great Speaking' newsletter. To subscribe why not use our affiliate link (given below) ] http://www.listpartners.com/cgi-local/subscribe?2606 Comments or if have you a tip to share - mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=speakertips ------------------------------------------------------------ Click: The Ultimate Guide to Electronic Marketing for Speakers, Authors, Coaches and Consultants...by Tom Antion http://snurl.com/click ------------------------------------------------------------ ==== THOUGHTS TO PONDER & DISCUSS ===== ON BEING SHY. One consolation that shy folk can take unto themselves is that shyness is certainly no sign of stupidity. It is easy enough for bull-headed clowns to sneer at nerves, but the highest natures are not necessarily those containing the greatest amount of moral brass. The horse is not an inferior animal to the cock-sparrow, nor the deer of the forest to the pig. Shyness simply means extreme sensibility, and has nothing whatever to do with self-consciousness or with conceit, though its relationship to both is continually insisted upon by the poll-parrot school of philosophy. Conceit, indeed, is the quickest cure for it. When it once begins to dawn upon you that you are a good deal cleverer than any one else in this world, bashfulness becomes shocked and leaves you. When you can look round a roomful of people and think that each one is a mere child in intellect compared with yourself you feel no more shy of them than you would of a select company of magpies or orang-outangs. ~ Jerome K Jerome (in... The Idle Thoughts of an Idle Fellow.) ========== NEW DISCUSSIONS ========= ===> Helpful to the Limit Hi Laughmates, Last week I had the pleasure of meeting Srivatsa Kadaba again after quite a long gap. (Srivatsa is a good friend of mine and in my opinion one of the best trainers you'll find in Bangalore.) He was telling me about a 'high achiever' at one of the call centres, where he'd had a training session. This fellow had been taught always to sound enthusiastic and chirpy, to offer as much help as he could, and currently to mention, at any chance he got, a children's product. There he was answering a call and throwing all the phrases he had been trained to throw - "I can help you with that"; "That's wonderful"; How can I help with you that?"; "That's just Great !" etc etc and the call seemed to be going very well. Sensing an opportunity he even started mentioning the children's product, but the lady interrupted him immediately saying "That's not of interest to me... I have no children!" Without realising what he was saying, our most helpful, chivalrous, young man had the instant reply ... "I can help you with that !" ~ Gunjan The EXtremely helpful WZ-ard ! www.exwx.com ----------------------------------------------------------- STOP paying more for your printer supplies than what you paid for your printer! We're here to save YOU money! Come Save Now at MaxPatch Ink Supplies! http://www.maxpatchink.com/?laugh ------------------------------------------------------------ =========== This week's Humor ============== Benny had told all of his friends about the delicious steak he'd eaten in the Delaney Street restaurant the day before. So they decided to go down there and see if they were really as large and delicious as Benny claimed. However, much to their disappointment, the waiter brought them the tiniest steaks they'd ever seen. "See here, my good man," Benny barked. "I was in this restaurant yesterday and you served me a big juicy steak, and now today, when I've organized a party, you serve such small ones?" "Yes, sir," replied the waiter. "But yesterday you were sitting by the window." (Thanks tOM) Comments : mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=humor =========== This week's Stress Reliever? ============== If you are geeky enough to know what a mirror site is then visit this link for a pun on a Google mirror site. http://www.alltooflat.com/geeky/elgoog/ (Alex in P.U.N.Y) Comments or Submissions of your own favorites: mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=lolurl ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I-Laugh is edited by: Eva Rosenberg eva@workinghumor.com Information on how to advertise in I-Laugh : http://workinghumor.com/advertise.shtml Send suggestions and comments to gunjan@workinghumor.com FAQ, Information & Archives at our website, http://workinghumor.com Send your posts to: posts@workinghumor.com If you are posting for the first time please read our guidelines http://workinghumor.com/posting_rules.shtml ?© Copyright Gunjan Saraf and Eva Rosenberg YOU have permission to publish any part of I-Laugh electronically free of charge, under the following conditions: First: The author of the piece receives full credit, with all links to their e-mail address &/or site intact Second: The following byline is included. "This article is reproduced with permission from I-Laugh, Your Working Humor Discussion List. http://www.workinghumor.com ?© Copyright Gunjan Saraf and Eva Rosenberg " However, if you are getting paid for your publication (it is by paid subscription), please be good enough to contact us to arrange a payment to us for the material you are using. A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated.. Subscribe by sending a mail to: 64841-subscribe@zinester.com Unsubscribe by sending a mail to: 64841-unsubscribe@zinester.com |
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