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| << June09, 2004 - I-Laugh #162 - Honey, I forgot to duck ! |
June26, 2004 - I-Laugh #164 - How to conquer a city ! >> |
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To: <!--$email--> .................................... I-Laugh - Your 'Working' Humor Discussion List --------------------------------------------- Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg mailto:eva@workinghumor.com Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf gunjan@workinghumor.com http://workinghumor.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 16th June 2004 # Issue 163 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Angels fly because they take themselves lightly. ~ G. K Chesterton. More Chesterton quotes at - http://workinghumor.com/quotes/gk_chesterton.shtml ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ IN THIS DIGEST : Moderator's Comment ~ Gunjan The Other Moderator's Comment ~ Eva _______________________ CONTINUING DISCUSSIONS Great Issue! ~ Jim Clark ~ Moderator's Comments Speaking Tip ~ from Tom Antion NEW DISCUSSIONS Self Introduction ~ Edward Lear How to write a Robert Benchley Column ~ Robert Benchley HISTORIC HUMOR TWISTED LESSONS THIS WEEK'S HUMOR THIS WEEK'S STRESS RELIEVER ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ---------------- SPONSOR MESSAGE ----------------- "Need Ink?... Don't pay retail!" Lot's of high quality solutions to Save You money... Come see how you can Save on your printing costs! Satisfaction IS Guaranteed at MaxPatch Ink! http://www.maxpatchink.com/?laugh ------------------------------------------------------------ Moderator's Comment ---------- Dear LaughMates, I got the idea for this issue, while reading "Chips of the Old Benchley". It was hilarious reading Old Bob doing a satire on the way he does his own columns. His justification for writing it was hilarious too. Bitten by the gardening bug, he just "wants to grow crocuses or tulips or something" and "since he is resolved to abandon the belles-lettres, the only decent thing is to pass on the secret of word magic to someone else." I think it's a hilarious idea. Someday, I want to make recordings of myself and see whether I'm fun enough to make fun off ! As usual, 'by coincidence', once I decided on this idea for the issue, I seemed to bump into so many other things that would fit in well. Edward Lear's introduction and Kirk Miller's limericks which were too naughty to go into the issue, but precipitated the change of title. I had tons of fun putting together this issue. Hope you enjoy it as much. Here it is... I-Laugh #163 ;) With best wishes Gunjan Many a true word is spoken in Jest -------------------------------------- Jest for Pun - pun-subscribe@topica.com Jest a Quote - quote-subscribe@topica.com Jest in Literature (A) - lit-subscribe@topica.com P.S - Please invite your friends to subscribe by sending an email to: 64841-subscribe@zinester.com Please, send any comments to: mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Comments ---------- The Other Moderator's Comment ---------- Dear LaughMates, I'm sitting here, chuckling over Gunjan's selections this week. Over the last couple of weeks, I was chuckling over his selections of quotes in Jest For Pun http://www.workinghumor.com/jfp/index.htm Did you know about his whole other site inside WorkingHumor.com? Oh yes, it's a wonderful cure for your stresses and blues. For me, his material found a more practical use. To soften the edges of all that stuffy, intense tax talk the book I wrote, I really wanted some clever, light intros to each chapter. I didn't care as much about whether the quotes were about taxes - just that they be from people I like or respect - and that they would project the right kind of silliness into the reader's mind. I found something there for all 14 chapters, but one....for that chapter, I had to visit Tom Antion's humor site. He has tax humor pages! http://www.antion.com/humor/speakerhumor/taxes.htm See, good writers can get everything they need, right here on Gunjan's turf. Well, the book is finally in the hands of my publisher, McGraw-Hill. It's going to look like this: <http://snipurl.com/74dv>;http://snipurl.com/74dv A Wall Street Journal reporter found it Amazon.com already! Amazing the pull you have when you work with a major publisher. Oh my goodness! I just got some signed contracts over the fax machine from someone with whom I'm developing a teaching tool. I put in a provision to pay him a royalty when he retires, if he works with me for 10 years. He thanked me for my consideration, telling me how nice that is, since he's 74 years old. Well, before I die laughing, I'd better get to work on the next article. Have a great week! Eva Rosenberg TaxMama.com ----------------------------------------------------------- Guaranteed to coax a smile from the grumpiest of grumps, FURRY LOGIC is a charming little book with a big heart and sly humor. Exquisitely detailed watercolor paintings depicting animals caught up in the joy and drudgery of life are paired with old adages given a new spin for our times. http://snipurl.com/furry ------------------------------------------------------------ ===== CONTINUING DISCUSSIONS ======== ===> Great Issue I hope you make a buck on this newsletter, because your comedy letter is worth every penny I pay! You always make me smile at least once, and the piece on odds was wonderful. I wrote something similar a while back for my sister-in-law who was diagnosed with malignant breast cancer. It was about how I came to belief in Christianity...how years of doubting had done nothing but cripple me and how we never live our lives that cautiously. It is a scam and a dodge to claim to live that way, and I'm much happier going ahead. I may be wrong about this, as I have certainly been wrong about many other things (like that 1984 vote for Mondale!) But I'd rather be doing it wrong than sitting on the sidelines wondering. I subscribed to your humorous quotation letter as well...I have a jillion of my own and will only enjoy more. Thanks- Jim Clark Moderator's Comment - Thanks for the warm words Jim. It's great to see that someone agrees with our opinion for a change ...which of course is that EVERY issue of ours is great !!! As Robert Heinlein once said ... Delusions are often functional. A mother's opinion about her children's beauty, intelligence, goodness etc. adnauseum keep her from drowning them at birth. Comments - mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=greatissue ===> Speaking Tip Proverbs and Fortune Cookie Humor (Note: Determine if this is politically correct for your audience.) You can throw in a cute diversion to a boring speech by attributing a saying to an ancient Chinese philosopher. Since these sayings are not attributed to anyone in particular, feel free to change or update them to fit your situation and to enhance their humor. (The term "original" here means as original as something can be after being recited and translated for several hundred years.) Original: You cannot prevent the birds of sadness from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from nesting in your hair. Update: You cannot prevent the birds of sadness from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from pooping on your Gucci blazer. Original: He who walk on eggs should tread lightly. Update: He who walk on eggs should find out the price per dozen. Original: People who live in glass houses should not throw stones. Update: People who live in glass houses should pull down the blinds. [Another tip from the different ways to be funny in Tom Antion's ebook - Wake 'em Up Get your copy at http://snurl.com/wakeup] Tom Antion has a great newsletter called 'Great Speaking' To subscribe (free) why not use our affiliate link (given below) ] http://www.listpartners.com/cgi-local/subscribe?2606 Comments or if have you a tip to share - mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=speakertips ------------------------------------------------------------ Click: The Ultimate Guide to Electronic Marketing for Speakers, Authors, Coaches and Consultants...by Tom Antion http://snurl.com/click ------------------------------------------------------------ ========= NEW DISCUSSIONS ============= ===> Introduction How pleasant to know Mr.Lear! "How pleasant to know Mr.Lear!" Who has written such volumes of stuff! Some think him ill-tempered and queer, But a few think him pleasant enough. His mind is concrete and fastidious, His nose is remarkably big; His visage is more or less hideous, His beard it resembles a wig. He has ears, and two eyes, and ten fingers, Leastways if you reckon two thumbs; Long ago he was one of the singers, But now he is one of the dumbs. He sits in a beautiful parlour, With hundreds of books on the wall; He drinks a great deal of Marsala, But never gets tipsy at all. He has many friends, lay men and clerical, Old Foss is the name of his cat; His body is perfectly spherical, He weareth a runcible hat. When he walks in waterproof white, The children run after him so! Calling out, "He's gone out in his night- Gown, that crazy old Englishman, oh!" He weeps by the side of the ocean, He weeps on the top of the hill; He purchases pancakes and lotion, And chocolate shrimps from the mill. He reads, but he cannot speak, Spanish, He cannot abide ginger beer: Ere the days of his pilgrimage vanish, How pleasant to know Mr. Lear! ~ Edward Lear [from The Complete Nonsense Book http://snipurl.com/nonsense ] Comments - mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=introduction ===> How to write a Robert Benchley column Personally, if you ask me (and, so far as I have heard, nobody has asked me yet, but I shall go right ahead just the same), I feel that we, as a nation (and when I say "as a nation" I mean "as a nation") eat too much buttered toast. Buttered toast is all right, provided neither of my little boys butters it (my two little boys seem to have an idea that butter grows on trees, when everybody knows that it is cut in great sheets by a butter-cutter [butter-cutter, butter-cutter where have you been?] whence it is shipped to the stamping room where it is stamped by large blonde ladies with their favorite initials and done up in bundles of twenty-five to be sent to the Tissue Paper Department for wrapping), but I do think, and I am sure you would think so, too, if you gave the thing a minute's thought, that there is such a thing as overdoing buttered toast. In the first place, you order breakfast. (By ordering breakfast, I mean that you get up out of bed, go into the kitchen in your bathrobe, cut three slices of whatever happens to be in the breadbox [usually cake], toast it, and butter it yourself.) The words "buttered toast" come naturally in any breakfast order. "Orange juice, two four-minute eggs, buttered toast, and coffee." Buttered toast and coffee must be spoken together, otherwise you will hear from the State Department. Here is where we make our big mistake. If, for once (or even twice), we could say "coffee" without adding "buttered toast," it wouldn't be so bad, but, as my old friend President James Buchanan, used to say (he was President more as a favor to Mrs. Buchanan than anything else), "You can't eat your cake and eat it too." <snip> But I do think that something has got to be done about buttered toast. I am not one to cavil (cavil me back to Old Virginny) but I do think, if you ask me (and I don't remember anyone's asking me [oh, I guess, I said that in the beginning of this article. Sorry!]), I do think, personally, that - where was I? (Extracted from the article The Menace of Buttered Toast found in Chips of The Old Benchley - http://snipurl.com/chips) Comments - mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=selfsatire ----------------------------------------------------------- Oscar Wilde was the master of the studied insult. His jabs at hypocrisy, pretense, and boring conventionality still have a penetrating power. His snubs and put-downs became the talk of his time, no less by his targets than by Oscar Wilde himself. This collection features over 750 biting comments... http://snurl.com/impwit ------------------------------------------------------------ ============= HISTORIC HUMOR ============== As leader of the opposition after World War II, Churchill soon found that the only thing as obnoxious as Socialists' planning was their jargon. The poor became "the lower income disadvantaged" or "marginal stipend maintainers." Churchill bitterly reacted to their description of "house" or "home" as "local accommodation unit." He said in the House of Commons : "Now we will have to change that old favorite song 'Home, Sweet, Home' to say 'Local Accommodation Unit, Sweet Local Accommodation Unit - there's no place like Local Accommodation Unit.' " Comments - mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Historic Humor ============= Twisted Lessons ============== [ W h a t I L e a r n e d d u r i n g t h i s w e e k ] Be careful with Rhetoric. My Teacher - http://www.workinghumor.com/temp.gif (This cartoon is put up temporarily just to share with you what I learned this week and will be removed by next week) Comments - mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=TwistedLesson ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Grumpiness CAN be cured ! And with kids the faster you cure it the better. If the customer reviews on Amazon.com are to be believed here's a sure-fire cure... What Are YOU So Grumpy About? http://snipurl.com/grumpy ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ =========== This week's Humor ============== Everything I Needed To Know About Life - I Learned From Cows 1. Wake up in a happy mooo-d. 2. Don't cry over spilled milk. 3. When chewing your cud, remember: There's no fat, no calories, no cholesterol, and no taste! 4. The grass is green on the other side of the fence. 5. Turn the udder cheek and mooo-ve on. 6. Seize every opportunity and milk it for all its worth! 7. It's better to be seen and not herd. 8. Honor thy fodder and thy mother and all your udder relatives. 9. Never take any bull from anybody. 10. Always let them know who's the bossy. 11. Stepping on cowpies brings good luck. 12. Black and white is always an appropriate fashion statement. 13. Don't forget to cow-nt your blessings every day. (Thanks Dr. Stan Kegel ... Groaners Digest http://www.otherwhen.com/mailman/listinfo/groaners) Comments : mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=humor =========== This week's Stress Reliever ============== A rose by any other name ... http://www.ns.nie.edu.sg/faculty/chewsf.htm (Thanks tOM) Comments : mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=humor ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I-Laugh is edited by: Eva Rosenberg eva@workinghumor.com Information on how to advertise in I-Laugh : http://workinghumor.com/advertise.shtml Send suggestions and comments to gunjan@workinghumor.com FAQ, Information & Archives at our website, http://workinghumor.com Send your posts to: posts@workinghumor.com If you are posting for the first time please read our guidelines http://workinghumor.com/posting_rules.shtml ?© Copyright Gunjan Saraf and Eva Rosenberg YOU have permission to publish any part of I-Laugh electronically free of charge, under the following conditions: First: The author of the piece receives full credit, with all links to their e-mail address &/or site intact Second: The following byline is included. "This article is reproduced with permission from I-Laugh, Your Working Humor Discussion List. http://www.workinghumor.com ?© Copyright Gunjan Saraf and Eva Rosenberg " However, if you are getting paid for your publication (it is by paid subscription), please be good enough to contact us to arrange a payment to us for the material you are using. A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated.. Subscribe by sending a mail to: 64841-subscribe@zinester.com Unsubscribe by sending a mail to: 64841-unsubscribe@zinester.com |
| << June09, 2004 - I-Laugh #162 - Honey, I forgot to duck ! |
June26, 2004 - I-Laugh #164 - How to conquer a city ! >> |
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