|
I-Laugh Archives Index
|
Subscribe
|
|
| << June18, 2004 - I-Laugh #163 - Play with yourself ! |
July06, 2004 - I-Laugh #165 - How Not to Rob a Bank ! >> |
|
................................... I-Laugh - Your 'Working' Humor Discussion List --------------------------------------------- Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg mailto:eva@workinghumor.com Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf gunjan@workinghumor.com http://workinghumor.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 24th June 2004 # Issue 164 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I'm going to stop putting things off, starting tomorrow! ~ Sam Levenson More Levenson quotes at - http://workinghumor.com/quotes/sam_levenson.shtml ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ IN THIS DIGEST : Moderator's Comment ~ Gunjan _______________________ CONTINUING DISCUSSIONS Glass Houses! ~ Lane ~ Moderator's Comments U2? ~ Chacha Joe Speaking Tip ~ from Tom Antion HISTORIC HUMOR TWISTED LESSONS THIS WEEK'S HUMOR THIS WEEK'S STRESS RELIEVER ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ---------------- SPONSOR MESSAGE ----------------- "Need Ink?... Don't pay retail!" Lot's of high quality solutions to Save You money... Come see how you can Save on your printing costs! Satisfaction IS Guaranteed at MaxPatch Ink! http://www.maxpatchink.com/?laugh ------------------------------------------------------------ Moderator's Comment ---------- Dear LaughMates, I've been struggling for the past 2 days with subjects for this issue. My head is blank. (I don't think it's empty. It's currently full of a gross substance that is overflowing out of my nose.) Just can't think of anything. I've reached the level where I've just done a google search for "what columnists do when stuck for ideas". Trust Google to come up with something. http://www.authorsontheweb.com/features/0206-debut/debut-q3.asp Ah I like the first bit of advice itself ... "take a break" ... I love it ... or as they say in the House of Commons (They do say it, don't they Chacha Joe?) "A motion to adjourn is always in order." So here's a brief, (maybe incomplete too, depending on how I'm feeling ;) I-Laugh #164 and then a nice long break ... ;) With best wishes Gunjan Many a true word is spoken in Jest -------------------------------------- Jest for Pun - pun-subscribe@topica.com Jest a Quote - quote-subscribe@topica.com Jest in Literature (A) - lit-subscribe@topica.com P.S - Please invite your friends to subscribe by sending an email to: 64841-subscribe@zinester.com Please, send any comments to: mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Comments ----------------------------------------------------------- Guaranteed to coax a smile from the grumpiest of grumps, FURRY LOGIC is a charming little book with a big heart and sly humor. Exquisitely detailed watercolor paintings depicting animals caught up in the joy and drudgery of life are paired with old adages given a new spin for our times. http://snipurl.com/furry ------------------------------------------------------------ ===== CONTINUING DISCUSSIONS ======== ===> GlassHouses PEOPLE WHO THROW STONES SHOULD NOT LIVE IN GLASS HOUSES. ~ Lane People who live in glasshouses shouldn't get stoned. ~ Gunjan Comments - mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=glasshouses ===> U2 ? Well, TaxMama, I'm afraid I wasn't able to view you book! In fact I felt quite an outsider - I wondered if only I was: <quote> Forbidden You don't have permission to access /cgi-bin/pbg/0071441689 on this server. <end quote> Now I know the whole world's against me... ...but you too? Uncle Joe, moot-surfing (Yes, 'moot') for ways of ending it all (excluding sites where people offer themselves to be eaten). *In case you're not in the moot - in the theme of the last issue - it means chewing the cud mentally, usually with great assistance from the spoken word. One might well 'mootle' in small groups, if that is your prediliction. My advice would be never so sit on a moot point. Some moot in a legally questionable fashion; they should be ignored if passed on the street. When i tell you 'moot' comes from the Old English 'gemot' and needs to be compared to the Dutch 'gemoet' you will realise that no more need be said. - UJ (Chacha/Uncle Joe is available at www.smilepoetryweekly.com) Moderator's Comment - Chacha Joe, Did the url look like this in your issue <http://snipurl.com/74dv>;http://snipurl.com/74dv That's the way it looked in my issue and clicking it got me into trouble too (You weren't being picked upon, you felt that way cause you were probably in a bad moot) Try http://snipurl.com/74dv Hopefully it should work. g Comments - mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=U2 ===> Speaking Tip It is always wise to verify the meaning of foreign words or phrases that you are taught, prior to using them. Carol Krugman, veteran international meeting planner, told me of how some Hispanic friends taught her a toast in Spanish, many years before she actually learned the language. Early in her career, at a luncheon following a sales pitch, she thought she would impress the potential clients by offering the toast, which she thought meant, "Health, money and good luck in your life." After a split second of stunned silence, the Mexican gentlemen at the table burst out laughing, raised their glasses to her and downed their tequilas in one gulp. In fact, what Carol had wished them was "Health, money and power behind their zippers!" P.S. - She got the job and learned Spanish shortly afterward! [From Tom Antion's ebook - Wake 'em Up Get your copy at http://snurl.com/wakeup] Tom Antion has a great newsletter called 'Great Speaking' To subscribe (free) why not use our affiliate link (given below) ] http://www.listpartners.com/cgi-local/subscribe?2606 Comments or if have you a tip to share - mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=speakertips ------------------------------------------------------------ Click: The Ultimate Guide to Electronic Marketing for Speakers, Authors, Coaches and Consultants...by Tom Antion http://snurl.com/click ------------------------------------------------------------ ============= HISTORIC HUMOR ============== When the Marx Brothers were about to make a movie called "A Night in Casablanca," there were threats of legal action from the Warner Brothers, who, five years before, had made a picture called simply, "Casablanca" (with Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman as stars). Whereupon Groucho, speaking for his brothers and himself, immediately dispatched the following letters : Dear Warner Brothers, Apparently there is more than one way of conquering a city and holding it as your own. For example, up to the time that we contemplated making this picture, I had no idea that the city of Casablanca belonged exclusively to Warner Brothers. However, it was only a few days after our announcement appeared that we received your long, ominous legal document warning us not to use the name Casablanca. It seems that in 1471, Ferdinand Balboa Warner, your great-great-grandfather, while looking for a shortcut to the city of Burbank, had stumbled on the shores of Africa and, raising his alpenstock (which he later turned in for a hundred shares of common), named it Casablanca. I just don't understand your attitude. Even if you plan on re-releasing your picture, I am sure that the average movie fan could learn in time to distinguish between Ingrid Bergman and Harpo. I don't know whether I could, but I certainly would like to try. You claim that you own Casablanca and that no one else can use that name without permission. What about "Warner Brothers"? Do you own that too? You probably have the right to use the name Warner, but what about the name Brothers? Professionally, we were brothers long before you were. We were touring the sticks as the Marx Brothers when Vitaphone was still a gleam in the inventor's eye, and even before there had been other brothers-the Smith Brothers; the Brothers Karamazov; Dan Brothers, an outfielder with Detroit; and "Brother, Can You Spare a Dime?" (This was originally "Brothers, Can You Spare a Dime?" but this was spreading a dime pretty thin, so they threw out one brother, gave all the money to the other one, and whittled it down to "Brother, Can You Spare a Dime?") Now Jack, how about you? Do you maintain that yours is an original name? Well it's not. It was used long before you were born. Offhand, I can think of two Jacks-there was Jack of "Jack and the Beanstalk," and Jack the Ripper, who cut quite a figure in his day. As for you, Harry, you probably sign your checks sure in the belief that you are the first Harry of all time and that all other Harrys are impostors. I can think of two Harrys that preceded you. There was Lighthouse Harry of Revolutionary fame and a Harry Appelbaum who lived on the corner of 93rd Street and Lexington Avenue. Unfortunately, Appelbaum wasn't too well-known. The last I heard of him, he was selling neckties at Weber and Heilbroner. Now about the Burbank studio. I believe this is what you brothers call your place. Old man Burbank is gone. Perhaps you remember him. He was a great man in a garden. His wife often said Luther had ten green thumbs. What a witty woman she must have been! Burbank was the wizard who crossed all those fruits and vegetables until he had the poor plants in such confused and jittery condition that they could never decide whether to enter the dining room on the meat platter or the dessert dish. This is pure conjecture, of course, but who knows-perhaps Burbank's survivors aren't too happy with the fact that a plant that grinds out pictures on a quota settled in their town, appropriated Burbank's name and uses it as a front for their films. It is even possible that the Burbank family is prouder of the potato produced by the old man than they are of the fact that your studio emerged "Casablanca" or even "Gold Diggers of 1931." This all seems to add up to a pretty bitter tirade, but I assure you it's not meant to. I love Warners. Some of my best friends are Warner Brothers. It is even possible that I am doing you an injustice and that you, yourselves, know nothing about this dog-in-the-Wanger attitude. It wouldn't surprise me at all to discover that the heads of your legal department are unaware of this absurd dispute, for I am acquainted with many of them and they are fine fellows with curly black hair, double-breasted suits and a love of their fellow man that out-Saroyans Saroyan. I have a hunch that his attempt to prevent us from using the title is the brainchild of some ferret-faced shyster, serving a brief apprenticeship in your legal department. I know the type well- hot out of law school, hungry for success, and too ambitious to follow the natural laws of promotion. This bar sinister probably needled your attorneys, most of whom are fine fellows with curly black hair, double-breasted suits, etc., into attempting to enjoin us. Well, he won't get away with it! We'll fight him to the highest court! No pasty-faced legal adventurer is going to cause bad blood between the Warners and the Marxes. We are all brothers under the skin, and we'll remain friends till the last reel of "A Night in Casablanca" goes tumbling over the spool. Sincerely, Groucho Marx (Moderator's Note - This letter seemed to puzzle The Warner Legal Dept. and they asked Groucho what the story line for A Night in Casablanca was. I'm sure you can guess how seiously Groucho must have replied to that ! Anyway after another couple of mails they gave up and A Night in Casablanca was released in 1946.) {Extract from The Groucho Letters http://snipurl.com/grouchylets} Comments - mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=HistoricHumor ----------------------------------------------------------- Oscar Wilde was the master of the studied insult. His jabs at hypocrisy, pretense, and boring conventionality still have a penetrating power. His snubs and put-downs became the talk of his time, no less by his targets than by Oscar Wilde himself. This collection features over 750 biting comments... http://snurl.com/impwit ------------------------------------------------------------ ============= Twisted Lessons ============== [ W h a t I L e a r n e d d u r i n g t h i s w e e k ] Try it out ! My Teacher - http://www.workinghumor.com/temp.gif (This cartoon is put up temporarily just to share with you what I learned this week and will be removed by next week) Comments - mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=TwistedLesson ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Grumpiness CAN be cured ! And with kids the faster you cure it the better. If the customer reviews on Amazon.com are to be believed here's a sure-fire cure... What Are YOU So Grumpy About? http://snipurl.com/grumpy ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ =========== This week's Humor ============== A DEPARTMENT STORE SALE: The department store was having a fantastic sale on sweaters, and the sportswear section was jammed with customers. The phone rang in the mail-order department and a voice asked for 'one light blue cardigan, size medium.' The clerk writing the order asked, 'To what name and address shall we send it?' 'Never mind sending it,' said the voice. 'Just bring it to the front entrance of the store. I'm on my cell phone here!' (Thanks Syman Says... http://www.sodamail.com) Comments : mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=humor =========== This week's Stress Reliever ============== Stiffening Our Resolve http://www.satirewire.com/news/july02/viagra.shtml (Thanks Doc) Comments : mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=stressrelief ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I-Laugh is edited by: Eva Rosenberg eva@workinghumor.com Information on how to advertise in I-Laugh : http://workinghumor.com/advertise.shtml Send suggestions and comments to gunjan@workinghumor.com FAQ, Information & Archives at our website, http://workinghumor.com Send your posts to: posts@workinghumor.com If you are posting for the first time please read our guidelines http://workinghumor.com/posting_rules.shtml ?© Copyright Gunjan Saraf and Eva Rosenberg YOU have permission to publish any part of I-Laugh electronically free of charge, under the following conditions: First: The author of the piece receives full credit, with all links to their e-mail address &/or site intact Second: The following byline is included. "This article is reproduced with permission from I-Laugh, Your Working Humor Discussion List. http://www.workinghumor.com ?© Copyright Gunjan Saraf and Eva Rosenberg " However, if you are getting paid for your publication (it is by paid subscription), please be good enough to contact us to arrange a payment to us for the material you are using. A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated.. Subscribe by sending a mail to: 64841-subscribe@zinester.com Unsubscribe by sending a mail to: 64841-unsubscribe@zinester.com |
| << June18, 2004 - I-Laugh #163 - Play with yourself ! |
July06, 2004 - I-Laugh #165 - How Not to Rob a Bank ! >> |
|
I-Laugh Archives Index
|
Subscribe
|
|
|
Archives powered by Zinester's Mailing List Service
Details on I-Laugh |
Browse for more newsletters at Zinester's Ezine Directory
Managed by Zinester's Mailing List Management |
