|
I-Laugh Archives Index
|
Subscribe
|
|
| << August12, 2004 - I-Laugh #170 - Whatchamacallit |
October30, 2004 - I-Laugh #172 - LaughBlogs >> |
|
To: <!--$email--> ............................... I-Laugh - Your 'Working' Humor Discussion List --------------------------------------------- Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg mailto:eva@workinghumor.com Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf gunjan@workinghumor.com http://workinghumor.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 16th Aug 2004 # Issue 171 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done. ~ Scott Adams More Scott Adams' quotes at - http://workinghumor.com/quotes/scott_adams.shtml ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ IN THIS DIGEST : Moderator's Comment ~ Gunjan _______________________ CONTINUING DISCUSSIONS Titles ~ Ronnie Funny Words ~ tOM Speaking Tip ~ from Tom Antion NEW DISCUSSIONS IT Memo ~ Bryan Miller A Blessing ~ Gunjan TWISTED LESSONS HISTORIC HUMOR THIS WEEK'S HUMOR ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ---------------- SPONSOR MESSAGE ----------------- "Need Ink?... Don't pay retail!" Lot's of high quality solutions to Save You money... Come see how you can Save on your printing costs! Satisfaction IS Guaranteed at MaxPatch Ink! http://www.maxpatchink.com/?laugh ------------------------------------------------------------ Moderator's Comment ---------- Dear LaughMates, Just played tennis after a gap of 3 months. Everything aches. No strength for ado. ;) With best wishes Gunjan Many a true word is spoken in Jest -------------------------------------- Jest for Pun - pun-subscribe@topica.com Jest a Quote - quote-subscribe@topica.com Jest in Literature (A) - lit-subscribe@topica.com P.S - Please invite your friends to subscribe by sending an email to: 64841-subscribe@ezinester.com Please, send any comments to: mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Comments ----------------------------------------------------------- Guaranteed to coax a smile from the grumpiest of grumps, FURRY LOGIC is a charming little book with a big heart and sly humor. Exquisitely detailed watercolor paintings depicting animals caught up in the joy and drudgery of life are paired with old adages given a new spin for our times. http://snipurl.com/furry ------------------------------------------------------------ ===== CONTINUING DISCUSSIONS ======== ====> Titles for the last issue I-Laugh #170 - Your turn next for 25cents I-Laugh #170 - Hurry and read this as I need the space for my alien mission I-Laugh #170 - have fun remember you didn't even made a D in English... Well what do you want for free? ~ Ronnie Baker Comments - mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=titles ====> Funny Words Dear Gunjan, > The sound of certain words can virtually guarantee a laugh. > In particular, the "K" sound in words is the granddaddy of > all funny sounds. Like ca-ca. tOM Comments - mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=funnywords ===> Speaking Tip (One of the list of 34 ways to be funny) Acronyms and Abbreviations An acronym is basically a form of abbreviation where the letters of the abbreviation form a new word, i.e., HUD means the Department of Housing and Urban Development. There are many acronyms and abbreviations that are universally known such as the IRS and the CIA. There are many more that are unique to your audience. All you have to do to make them humorous is to change one or more of the words that go with your well-known abbreviation or acronym. Here are some examples: IQ Idiot Quotient CPI Consumers Poorhouse Indicator IRA Individual Rest-in-Peace Account TQM Totaled Quality Management With a little thought, it is very easy to customize acronyms and abbreviations to your audience. Now, here are some examples and explanations from a custom talk I did for a hotel franchise: OCC in the hotel industry means Occupancy Rate. I changed it to Oh! C'mon Clinton because certain taxes were being proposed by President Clinton that would affect their industry. I always try to connect with the audience by mentioning the topics that are foremost on their minds. This gives you the greatest chance of succeeding with an item of humor. ADR to hoteliers, means Average Daily Rate. This was changed to All Dated Rooms which is something no hotelier wants to hear. This would mean a fortune would have to be spent to upgrade and modernize the rooms. IOC was the name of the group I was addressing (International Operator's Council). This was changed to I'm Ordering Chinese and I'm Out of Coffee. These phrases aren't particularly funny in themselves. They were coupled, however, with the fact that these people had just completed rigorous and exhausting inspections by the Franchisor. That is what made it funny. ANA This is one of my generic favorites. ANA represents Al Nippon Airlines. I mention that it is a good thing that this company had an American advisor before they used this acronym because the original version was . . . ANAL (this is revealed on an overhead projector just after a pause following the word was). This gets good laughter. I extend the humor with the line, How'd you like to see that on a 747 coming at you? This gets even bigger laughs. For the hotel job, the acronyms were on an overhead transparency and were displayed using a reveal technique (where individual overhead lines were covered until it was time to reveal the funny version). You don't have to project acronyms to use them in a presentation. You could also print them in handouts or just tell them out loud. [From Tom Antion's ebook - Wake 'em Up Get your copy at http://snurl.com/wakeup] Tom Antion has a great newsletter called 'Great Speaking' To subscribe (free) why not use our affiliate link (given below) ] http://www.listpartners.com/cgi-local/subscribe?2606 Comments or if have you a tip to share - mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=speakertips ------------------------------------------------------------ Click: The Ultimate Guide to Electronic Marketing for Speakers, Authors, Coaches and Consultants...by Tom Antion http://snurl.com/click ------------------------------------------------------------ ============ NEW DISCUSSIONS =========== ====> IT Memo To: Director Mi Shlong FROM: IT Division Recently a request was made to the IT department reguarding slowdown in productivity due to various computer terminals not receiving the proper updates to their operating systems due to various firewalls. It was asked of us to find a way to speed up these updates to boost productivity. To do this, we have developed two new systems that, when put into place, will speed up OS updates on all company systems by 10 fold. These systems are as follows: 1) Computer Update Notification Transmitter (C*NT) 2) Software Linkup Terminal (SLuT) 3) Pipeline Information Modulation Protocal (PIMP) First, we must install a PIMP in all the major departments. The PIMPs are required to regulate when the SLuTs are to operate. When a PIMP activates a SLuT, the SLuT will then scan everyone within the department, determining which ones need a SLuT's services. If any are detected, the SLuT sends a signal to it's associated C*NT, which will, in turn, slide down that users pipeline to update their system. We here in the IT department have tested this system out thoroughly and find it not only works, but greatly satisfies the employees, and helps them relax, taking the stress of updating their systems away. Also, we have set the system up so to give greater attention to department managers and company directors, due to the fact that with their heavy work load and constant exposure, they may need the services of a SLuT far more than the average employee. I hope this meets with your approval sir, Michael Hunt Director of IT Written by/Copyright - Bryan Miller http://www.obsidiangateway.net Comments - mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=acronymns ====> A Blessing A particular harrassed friend of mine was telling me this tale of how difficult it is to work with some people from the armed forces. Anything which comes from the General Headquarters (GHQ) is sacrosanct. Things came to a head last week when my friend was doing some design work for the army person and found an obvious spelling mistake in the original brief that he'd received. Without even thinking about it, he naturally corrected it. Unfortunately this brief had come from GHQ and so the correction sparked off a berating instead of a congratulatory word. It's just after this episode that my friend bumped into me. After telling me the tale he added, "For most people... when they die I wish they go to Heaven. For Capt. xxxxxxxxxxxx I hope when he dies, he goes to GHQ." Comments - mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=blessing ----------------------------------------------------------- Oscar Wilde was the master of the studied insult. His jabs at hypocrisy, pretense, and boring conventionality still have a penetrating power. His snubs and put-downs became the talk of his time, no less by his targets than by Oscar Wilde himself. This collection features over 750 biting comments... http://snurl.com/impwit ------------------------------------------------------------ ============= Twisted Lessons ============== [ A L e s s o n l e a r n t d u r i n g t h i s w e e k ] Take care while using rhetoric phrases. My Teacher http://www.workinghumor.com/temp.gif (This cartoon is put up temporarily just to share with you what I learned this week and will be removed by next week) ------------------------------------------------------------ "Good travel writing is inspirational. It can inspire you to set off for unpronounceable capitals of wee, distant kingdoms, or, in the case of There's No Toilet Paper, inspire you to burn your passport and settle more securely into your comfy chair, feet up, and eyes riveted to the next more-humorous-in-the-retelling-than-it-was-in-the-experiencing story." Says reviewer Stephanie Gold about the book There's no toilet paper on the road less traveled. http://snipurl.com/toiletpaper ------------------------------------------------------------ ============= HISTORIC HUMOR ============== In the 1930s, Charlie Chaplin visited Chartwell, the Churchill country house. At the dinner table, Churchill asked the movie actor what movie project he was next considering. Chaplin replied, "In all seriousness, I'd like to play Jesus Christ." Churchill paused and then looked over his spectacles. "Have you cleared the rights?" (Extract from the Wit and Wisdom of Winston Churchill http://snipurl.com/winwit) Comments - mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=HistoricHumor =========== This week's Humor ============== "The Complete Idiot's Guide" ---------------------------------- I manage a large discount bookstore and was amused by a phone conversation one of my salesclerks had with a new computer user. The caller asked if we carried "Linux for Dummies." "No," the clerk replied, "but we do sell "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Linux." The man groaned and said, "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Linux is way over my head!" (Thanks Jo-Lene's Daily Humor... http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Daily-Humor/ ) Comments : mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=humor ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Grumpiness CAN be cured ! And with kids the faster you cure it the better. If the customer reviews on Amazon.com are to be believed here's a sure-fire cure... What Are YOU So Grumpy About? http://snipurl.com/grumpy ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I-Laugh is edited by: Eva Rosenberg eva@workinghumor.com Information on how to advertise in I-Laugh : http://workinghumor.com/advertise.shtml Send suggestions and comments to gunjan@workinghumor.com FAQ, Information & Archives at our website, http://workinghumor.com Send your posts to: posts@workinghumor.com If you are posting for the first time please read our guidelines http://workinghumor.com/posting_rules.shtml ?© Copyright Gunjan Saraf and Eva Rosenberg YOU have permission to publish any part of I-Laugh electronically free of charge, under the following conditions: First: The author of the piece receives full credit, with all links to their e-mail address &/or site intact Second: The following byline is included. "This article is reproduced with permission from I-Laugh, Your Working Humor Discussion List. http://www.workinghumor.com ?© Copyright Gunjan Saraf and Eva Rosenberg " However, if you are getting paid for your publication (it is by paid subscription), please be good enough to contact us to arrange a payment to us for the material you are using. A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated.. Subscribe by sending a mail to: 64841-subscribe@ezinester.com Unsubscribe by sending a mail to: 64841-unsubscribe@ezinester.com |
| << August12, 2004 - I-Laugh #170 - Whatchamacallit |
October30, 2004 - I-Laugh #172 - LaughBlogs >> |
|
I-Laugh Archives Index
|
Subscribe
|
|
|
Archives powered by Zinester's Mailing List Service
Details on I-Laugh |
Browse for more newsletters at Zinester's Ezine Directory
Managed by Zinester's Mailing List Management |
