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| << August24, 2004 - I-Laugh #171 - All Titling Ideas Used up ! |
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To: <!--$email--> .............................. I-Laugh - Your 'Working' Humor Discussion List --------------------------------------------- Moderated by : Eva Rosenberg mailto:eva@workinghumor.com Assisted By : Gunjan Saraf gunjan@workinghumor.com http://workinghumor.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 30th Oct 2004 # Issue 172 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If anyone could sell the suburbs, sin could. ~ Erma Bombeck More Bombeck quotes at - http://workinghumor.com/quotes/grass.shtml ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ IN THIS DIGEST : Moderator's Comment ~ Gunjan _______________________ CONTINUING DISCUSSIONS Speaking Tip ~ from Tom Antion NEW DISCUSSIONS Call for Help Mindgames Coach Corlis TWISTED LESSONS HISTORIC HUMOR THIS WEEK'S HUMOR ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ----------------------------------------------------------- Looking for a laugh after a hard day of corporate takeovers? Seuss-isms for Success is chock full of clever quips on topics from micromanagement to market speculation. Didn't know Dr. Seuss wrote about the business world, did you? You'll be surprised at just how well his simple rhymes have adapted.... Check out "Seuss-isms for Success" http://snipurl.com/seussisms ------------------------------------------------------------ Moderator's Comment ---------- Dear LaughMates, Just call me Phoenix. ;) I love using that line whenever I reappear after a long and unexplained disappearance. I've got some fun news. I've gone and picked up the domain name http://laughblogs.com . I plan on using this for setting up blogs (web logs or online public diaries) for any laughmate who would care to have one. The only condition would be that overall it be a cheerful diary and avoids 4 letter words more naughty than YMCA. All you need to do to have a blog of your own is to send me a mail telling me that you're interested in having one (it would be great if you used the magic word that you learned in childhood but it's not compulsory ;) and tell me the email address with which you're subscribed to I-Laugh. A few Laughmates have already started testing the waters and you can see what they are upto at http://laughblogs.com Without further ado, here's I-Laugh #172. ;) With best wishes Gunjan Many a true word is spoken in Jest -------------------------------------- Jest for Pun - pun-subscribe@topica.com Jest a Quote - quote-subscribe@topica.com Jest in Literature (A) - lit-subscribe@topica.com P.S - Please invite your friends to subscribe by sending an email to: 64841-subscribe@zinester.com Please, send any comments to: mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=Comments ----------------------------------------------------------- Guaranteed to coax a smile from the grumpiest of grumps, FURRY LOGIC is a charming little book with a big heart and sly humor. Exquisitely detailed watercolor paintings depicting animals caught up in the joy and drudgery of life are paired with old adages given a new spin for our times. http://snipurl.com/furry ------------------------------------------------------------ ===== CONTINUING DISCUSSIONS ======== ===> Speaking Tip Audience You can't catch many fish by using food you like for the bait. You must give them what they like. You must absolutely, positively know your audience. You should know what the members of the audience have in common (interests, enemies, competitors, etc.). You should know what the hot topic of conversation is, but be sure they are joking about it themselves. It may be too hot. You should know the restaurants where they eat, the name of their newsletter, how much money they make, the name and record of the local sports teams, etc., etc., etc. The more you know about the audience, the better job you will do. Your goal should be to make that audience know that the presentation they are witnessing was created specifically for them. If you don't present to the same audience all the time, you must have a method for getting this information. Most NO ZZZZZs presenters use some form of pre-program questionnaire which is sent out well in advance of their program. I got the basis for mine from Dottie Walters at Walters International Speakers Bureau. I made some slight changes to suit my presentation style and I keep adding and deleting questions to tweak it to perfection. Your conversations with the program coordinator will give you some of the information you need. You should fill in as many of the blanks as you can before you send out the questionnaire to save the program coordinator some work. This also proves you were paying attention to what he or she said. [From Tom Antion's ebook - Wake 'em Up Get your copy at http://snurl.com/wakeup] Tom Antion has a great newsletter called 'Great Speaking' To subscribe (free) why not use our affiliate link (given below) ] http://www.listpartners.com/cgi-local/subscribe?2606 Comments or if have you a tip to share - mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=speakertips ------------------------------------------------------------ Click: The Ultimate Guide to Electronic Marketing for Speakers, Authors, Coaches and Consultants...by Tom Antion http://snurl.com/click ------------------------------------------------------------ ============ NEW DISCUSSIONS =========== ====> Call for Help Hi Friends, Laughmate Stephanie Allen West is working on a new site/project and needs some help. Here's her call for help... Will you all do me a favor, please? I am writing an article on the current poll I am running and need lots of people to cast their vote on their favorite movies. Go here: http://www.createyourownfuneral.com and click on current poll in the navigation bar -- and then vote. If you know of anyone who might like to vote, could you pass this along? Thanks for your help. Stephanie http://stephaniewestallen.com/ ====> Mindgames Hi Friends, I was just going through Steve Martin's "The Pleasure of my Company" and found the following mindgames that the main character plays very interesting. What do you think of them ?? =============== The next day, I was nervous about the inevitable arrival of the second pie letter, the one that would be addressed to the real me. This led me to an alternative fixation. I should capitalize it because Alternate Fixation is a technique I use to trick myself out of anxiety. It works by changing the subject. I simply focus on something that produces even greater anxiety. ================ ================ But I settled the matter with a brilliant dose of self-delusion. I manipulated my own stringent mind with a new thought: What if I could convert one present fear into a different and more distant fear? What if I could translate my fear of the Grand Canyon into a fear of Mount Rushmore? What if I could transform my desire to touch the four corners of every copier at Kinko's into an obsession with Big Ben? But my final proposal to myself was this : What if during the entire trip I would not allow myself to speak any word that contained the letter e? This is the kind of enormous duty that could supersede and dominate my other self-imposed tasks. I quickly scanned my vocabulary for useful words - a, an, am, was, is, for, against, through - and found enough there to make myself understood. Thus, "let's eat" would become, "I'm hungry, baby! Chow down!" I couldn't say, "I love you" but I could say, "I'm crazy about you," which was probably a better choice anyway. I could call Clarissa by name, Teddy would simply become something affectionate like big man, bubby boy, or junior. One minor drawback, I couldn't say my own name. ==================== Comments - mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=mindgames ====> Learn to Lose ??? Another idea from a book. Let's see what you think of this... In the annals of Little League baseball, there was only one man who made it to the Baseball Hall of Shame five seasons in a row. That was Ralph Corlis. Ralph was an enigma in suburban sports. He brought his two sons to a housing development two years after his wife died, and together they hacked out a life for themselves. They planted a little garden, built a little racing car in the garage, and on a summer evening would go over to the battlefield and watch the kids play ball under the lights. It was after the third or fourth game that Ralph began to take note of the thirty or forty kids on the bench who wore the uniform, but who rarely played the game. "What do those kids do?" Ralph asked his sons. "They watch the team play ball." "For that they have to get dressed up in full uniform?" "Oh no," said his son, "they go to all the practices, work out, run, field, catch, pitch, and do everything the team does.... except play." Ralph thought a lot about the bench warmers and one day he approached several of them and said, "How would you like to join the team?" When Ralph was finished, he had enough for five teams and sixteen benches. The first night they met on a piece of farmland donated by a farmer. "This is first base," said Coach Corlis, dropping his car seat cushion on the ground, "and this is second," he continued, dropping his jacket, "and I see there's already a third base." "But.. It's a pile of dung," said one of his players. "So, don't slide," said Ralph. "Do you want to see me pitch?" asked a tall, lean, athletic boy. "No," said Ralph. Then turning to a kid two feet tall who could scarcely hold the ball in his hand, he said, "You pitch today." At random he assigned a catcher, basemen, infield and outfield, and said, "the rest of you - relax. On this team, everyone plays." You cannot imagine what an impact a team where "everyone plays" had on the community. Word spread like a brush fire. One night Coach Corlis answered his door to discover a visit from three other coaches. "Hey, what a surprise," said Ralph. "Come in." "What's your game?" asked one of the coaches. "Baseball," said Ralph. "You know what we mean," said one of the other men. "What are you trying to prove? Playing every boy who goes out for the team. How many games have you won?" "I haven't won any," said Ralph. "I didn't think that was very important." "What are you, some kind of a loonie?" said Ralph. "Why would you play a game, if not to win?" "To have a good time," grinned Ralph. "You should have been there the other night when Todd Milhaus slid into third." "Unfortunately, losers don't draw crowds," smirked the third coach. "Oh, we don't want crowds," Ralph said. "Adults just mess things up for the kids. I heard at one of your games that a mother threw a pop bottle at her own son." "And he deserved it," said the first coach. "He should have had his eye on second base. That kid has the brain of a dead sponge." "He's pitching for me tomorrow," said Ralph. "Look," said the second coach, "why don't you let the boys go? What do you want with them? They're not even winning." Ralph thought a minute then said, "It's hard to explain, but kids go all through their lives learning how to win, but no one ever teaches them how to lose." "Lets get out of here, Bert," said the third coach. "Wait a minute," said Ralph. "Just think about it. Most kids don't know how to handle defeat. They fall apart. Its important to know how to lose because you do a lot of it when you grow up. You have to have perspective - how to know what is important to lose and what isn't important." (From Erma Bombeck's The Grass is Greener over the Septic Tank) Comments - mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=lose ----------------------------------------------------------- Oscar Wilde was the master of the studied insult. His jabs at hypocrisy, pretense, and boring conventionality still have a penetrating power. His snubs and put-downs became the talk of his time, no less by his targets than by Oscar Wilde himself. This collection features over 750 biting comments... http://snurl.com/impwit ------------------------------------------------------------ ============= HISTORIC HUMOR ============== An anonymous critic once sent a letter to preacher Henry Ward Beecher. The letter contained a single word: "Fool." No minister ever received a better setup line and Beecher made the most of it. "I have known many an instance of a man writing a letter and forgetting to sign his name," he told his congregation that Sunday. "But this is the only instance I've ever known of a man signing his name and forgetting to write his letter." Comments - mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=HistoricHumor ------------------------------------------------------------ "Good travel writing is inspirational. It can inspire you to set off for unpronounceable capitals of wee, distant kingdoms, or, in the case of There's No Toilet Paper, inspire you to burn your passport and settle more securely into your comfy chair, feet up, and eyes riveted to the next more-humorous-in-the-retelling-than-it-was-in-the-experiencing story." Says reviewer Stephanie Gold about the book There's no toilet paper on the road less traveled. http://snipurl.com/toiletpaper ------------------------------------------------------------ =========== This week's Humor ============== A hillbilly was filling out a Federal Job Application, and one of the questions was: "Do you advocate the overthrow of the government by sedition, insurgency, or violence?" After scratching his head for a minute, he circled "violence", and continued filling out the form.... (Thanks tOM) Comments : mailto:posts@workinghumor.com?Subject=humor ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Grumpiness CAN be cured ! And with kids the faster you cure it the better. If the customer reviews on Amazon.com are to be believed here's a sure-fire cure... What Are YOU So Grumpy About? http://snipurl.com/grumpy ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I-Laugh is edited by: Eva Rosenberg eva@workinghumor.com Information on how to advertise in I-Laugh : http://workinghumor.com/advertise.shtml Send suggestions and comments to gunjan@workinghumor.com FAQ, Information & Archives at our website, http://workinghumor.com Send your posts to: posts@workinghumor.com If you are posting for the first time please read our guidelines http://workinghumor.com/posting_rules.shtml ?© Copyright Gunjan Saraf and Eva Rosenberg YOU have permission to publish any part of I-Laugh electronically free of charge, under the following conditions: First: The author of the piece receives full credit, with all links to their e-mail address &/or site intact Second: The following byline is included. "This article is reproduced with permission from I-Laugh, Your Working Humor Discussion List. http://www.workinghumor.com ?© Copyright Gunjan Saraf and Eva Rosenberg " However, if you are getting paid for your publication (it is by paid subscription), please be good enough to contact us to arrange a payment to us for the material you are using. A courtesy copy of your publication would be appreciated.. Subscribe by sending a mail to: 64841-subscribe@zinester.com Unsubscribe by sending a mail to: 64841-unsubscribe@zinester.com |
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