The Fredesser.com Joke Of The Week

Wednesday May 3^rd, 2006,

Dear subscribers,

As always thanks so much for subscribing to my newsletter.  I’ve added a new feature this week.  In addition to including jokes, I have also begun profiling comedic video clips that pass the “mom test”.  That is a video clip that a reasonable person would feel comfortable listening to in front of his/her mom.  (The link is at the bottom.)

This Weeks Jokes

What is true bravery?

It is to arrive home fully drunk after a midnight out, see your wife waiting with broomstick and ask,

“Honey are you still cleaning the house?? "

FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, got married last month. Wife knows everything

The Mood Ring

A woman says to her friends, “My boyfriend, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to ‘monitor my moods’.”

“That’s interesting” her friend says, “how does it work?”

“When I'm in a good mood it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood it
leaves a big f*cking red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll
buy me a diamond.”

A Tribute to the Movie Good Will Hunting

A farmer with no formal education walks into a bar filled with ‘intellectuals’ and starts talking about nuclear power. 

The ‘intellectuals’ suspect that the farmer has no degree and they begin to frown upon him. 

One of the men at the bar says, “How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don’t know s***?” 

“Let me think for a moment.  Allow me to ask you some questions”, the farmer says, “A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. They all eat the same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?”

“That’s not my area.  I have no idea.”  The man at the bar says.

The farmer says, “How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don’t know s***?”

Last One

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club.  A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk.

Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello."

WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes."

WOMAN: "I am at the mall now and found this great leather coat. It only cost $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2005 models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$90,000."

MAN: "OK, but for that price, I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing .....the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra 50 thousand. It is really a pretty good price."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you so much!!"

MAN: "Bye! I love you, too."

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.....

Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know who this phone belongs to?”

Funny Video Clip That Passes the Mom Test

This week I feature the up and coming comedian Steve Hofstetter.  Click on the link to check out five minutes of his act.   

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=1673162

Mom question review:  This clip is pretty safe for most audiences.  It has some profanity, but overall I would not be uncomfortable listening to it in front of my mother. 

 Farewell

Well, that’s it for this week.  I hope that you enjoyed the jokes as much as I have.  See you next week. 

PS, please feel free to drop me a line and let me know how I’m doing.  Fredesser@yahoo.com