Fredesser.com Joke Of The Week

Wednesday May 17^th, 2006

Dear subscribers,

Thanks so much for subscribing to my newsletter.  I put in an Archie Bunker joke that kind of approaches the edge of political correctness, but I think it’s creative, so I did my best to make it as PC as possible.  Anyway, I hope you like the jokes.

This Weeks Jokes

When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.

It's better to have loved and lost than to do forty pounds of laundry a week.

The politically correct version of an Archie Bunker joke.

(For those unfamiliar with Archie Bunker, he was a racist bigot who appeared on Television’s “All In The Family”.  This joke takes place 1000 years from now… after Martians have made their way to Earth…  Archie Bunker is as much of a bigot as always.)

There was a guy from Mars, a guy from Venus, and Archie Bunker on a beach one time and a Genie appeared.  The Genie said, “I’ll give each of you one wish.”

The guy from Mars said, “I’d like to go take all of my people back to Mars, but not only that…  I want my people to live in Mars and be free and happy.”

“Poof!” The Genie said.  And all of the people from Mars were taken back to Mars and they lived happily ever after.

The guy from Venus said, “I’d like to take all of my people back to Venus, but not only that…  I want my people to live in Venus and be happy and free.”

“Poof!” The Genie said.  And all of the people from Venus were taken back to Venus and they lived happily ever after.

The Genie turned to Archie Bunker, “What would you like?”

“Let me think.  All of the people from Mars are gone…  All of the people from Venus are gone…  Well, then I guess I’ll have a Coke.”

Grade School Joke of The Week

Why did the watch cross the road?
To get to the second hand shop!

The Redneck Hunting Joke

A couple of redneck hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground.  He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are rolled back in his head.

The other redneck starts to panic, then whips out his cell phone and calls 911.

He frantically blurts out to the operator, "O my God! Help! My friend just died. He's Dead! What can I do?"

The operator, trying to calm him says, "Take it easy. I can help. Just listen to me and follow my instructions. First, lets make sure he's dead."

There's a short pause, and then the operator hears a loud gun shot!!!

The redneck comes back on the line and says, "OK, now what?"

Last One

Assassin Interview

After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists for the CIA assassin position — two men and one woman.

For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

"We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her."

The first man said. "You can’t be serious. I could never shoot my wife."

The agent replies, "Then you’re not the right man for this job."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room.

All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the agent came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can’t kill my wife."

The agent replies "You don’t have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman’s turn.  (She was married to Archie Bunker.) She was told to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room.

Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls.

After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman.

She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "You guys didn’t tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. So I had to beat him to death with the chair."

Humorous Video Clip Of The Week

This week’s video clip is a very special Mother’s Day edition.  It’s a nice clip of two guys making a picture for their mother.  It’s pretty funny check it out.

http://www.transbuddha.com/mediaHolder.php?id=1850