We've mentioned that it is important not to allow others to define our identity. There are some other things we need to remember as we deal with others.

We should not be dependant on their praise or criticism. We should not look for their approval and avoid their disapproval. If we would do these things, we might succeed - but our success in fulfilling expectations of others have nothing to do with self-transcendence and self-realization.

As we interact with others, we certainly need to be kind and respectful. At the same time, we need to be firm and self-reliant, not allowing them to rule our lives for us. Some people would try to impose their will on us, either directly or indirectly, and we've got to be mentally prepared for it.

"But isn't it a denial of the spiritual idea of our essential oneness?", someone might ask.

Even thought we are essentially one, we express ourselves as distinct individuals - and the process of spiritual development implies our individualization rather that abolition of our differences. In order to contribute to the universal Oneness in the best way, we need to be fully ourselves.

At the physical level, we all have personal boundaries. We don't feel comfortable when some people get too close to us - and we don't feel guilty about it. The same applies to our soul level as well. We've got to realize and to protect our personal boundaries.

Even in love, we don't need to get too close to each other, in order to avoid entangles and unnecessary attachments. This idea was vividly expressed by Kahlil Gibran:

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf...
And stand together but yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadows.

We transcend ourselves by properly using our energy. All people have about the same amount of energy, and the difference in their unfoldment is due to the fact that some people converse and constructively use their energy for movement in their chosen directions, while others neglect it and scatter it around. If we would like to transcend ourselves, we need to master all the energies of our being.

There are many voices who are ready to tell us what to do with our lives. Perhaps, the best policy is neither to submit to them nor argue with them, but simply to ignore them.

We need to have enough self-confidence to find our own unique way. We need to find our unique voice – that which will add beauty to the universal harmony.

Self-transcendence, as we see it now, is linked with creativity. But what is creativity? Creativity begins with an assumption that there are many ways – much more than we already know – and a determination to find and explore some of those ways. However, if we follow the way that someone walked before us, or if we insist that this way is «the best» and "the only right one", we suppress our creative potential.

But why should be a copy if we always are able to be an original?