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Tuesday, Sept 10, 2002
Self-Positivity! ezine
(HTML edition)
Your Self-Esteem ezine from Crystal Woods
http://www.self-positivity.com
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Contents
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Welcome from Susan! (Guest Editor)
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Hi, its a pleasure to be able to introduce myself to the ezine self-positivity. I am a 34yo freelance writer
and my work is mainly focused on helping people understand the power that we hold within us and how to draw it
out.
I look forward to working with Crystal and sharing my work with you all.
regards Susan
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What's New
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Article: Always Darkest Just Before Dawn
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Those of you who didn't receive my brief email explaining the delay in sending out an ezine this month, I've
had a wake up call from the Universe! Seems like what I was doing (a basic job to pay the bills working with computers
because I could, rather than with people which is what I reallly want to do) wasn't good enough. I lost half the
sight in my right eye. No, I didn't knock myself or anything, it seems shortsighted people are at risk anyway,
but I had a few complications in any case so I was very lucky to get the surgeon I did. He's saved my sight, but
I didn't get to him quick enough to stop it spreading across the reading area, so things are a bit distorted in
that eye now. Means I gotta get out of computers, and, surprise surprise, find a job that doesn't involve 100%
close-up work. Guess what fits that description? :) I've got a writer colleague who'll be sending this out to you
for the next couple months, and she's put together an interesting article for you on goals which I'm looking forward
to getting the rest of next month (although I've got to limit my time on computers, there's still some stuff I
can do, and it's amazing the programs out there to help - I now have a little agent that reads my email to me,
and another program that will read out anything I copy to the clipboard - no eye strain involved there!)
Anyway, long & short is, I'm on an enforced vacation as of this month. I'll be leaving you in Susan's capable
hands, and am hoping to get a few things set in place so the site can support me getting the people I need to help
with the ongoing running of it. Hope you enjoy her work, and I'll look forward to catching up with you again afterwards...
Crystal |
We all have ideas of how we want our lives shaped - the kind of things we want to happen to us (and I'm not
just talking about a Lotto win here!). I dont know about you, but sometimes it just seems to me that it's time
for something to happen. This last year I've been itching to find a relationship. No, actually, it was to find
the kind of guy I'd WANT to have a relationship with! For a while there, I thought that "gentleman" was
perhaps just as much of a myth as unicorns & dragons. I was trying so hard to make myself available, looking
wherever I could to meet him, and generally forcing the issue. At 32, and never having been in a serious relationship
before, I was starting to feel I'd end up single forever, and I really didn't want that.
There are a lot of places & things you can do to meet someone. I'd gone through all the conventional wisdom
- groups based around things you enjoy, cafes, clubs (not much into that scene, so I didn't try hard there - I
figured the kinda guy I wanted wasn't likely to enjoy them either so it'd really be a fluke if he turned up in
one!) walks etc etc. Even signed up with a couple of online dating services - RSVP.com.au, ninemsn.com.au relationships
(under people & chat), optusnet personals (used to be excite.com.au til they got taken over or whatever). I
went to a couple of events, and was planning on going to a few others (the fastdate concept looked interesting)
but it seemed like I was pushing uphill all the way. I was also discovering that by my age, most people have been
married at least once and often have children too. Boy was I feeling left behind! I got worried that I had left
it too late, and got a bit apathetic about it. Left it all hanging for a few weeks, while I got on with a few other
things.
In the course of my searching, though, I had discovered an online group for larger Australian & NZ women, and
had a few good chats, mostly with women (is it just me, or does it seem like teenage boys looking for 'fun' are
a majority of the male online population??? Or maybe the vocal minority? They're definitely the ones to make themselves
heard!) One night I logged in to see if any of the friends I'd made in the group were online for a quick chat,
but someone else popped up a chat window instead, and we started talking. He lived locally, and his name was Mal.
Well, the long & the short of it is, we've met, we've clicked, and I'm having a wonderful time with him. It's
been a few months now, almost, and it still delights me whenever he stops by. He's been there for me while I've
gone through all this trouble with my eyesight, and I enjoy every moment we're together. His presence in my life
has been such a gift, and I hope it lasts as long as possible! I wear the biggest smile these days... The best
part of it is, while we have some very important things in common, we also have a lot of differences which I'm
looking forward to exploring, learning more about him and myself in the process. I've waited a long time, but now,
it just seems like it made it all the better once I found him - he's worth every minute I waited. And he snuck
up while I wasn't even looking!!!
The point I guess I want to make is not that you shouldn't give up hope - it seemed like nothing happened to me
until I did, and let go of my own ideas of what my life should be - but that it helps to recognise that good things
DO come to those who wait. Only they come in their own good time, in their own way, and no amount of forcing or
pushing for them will bring them on any sooner! It's a truism, I know, but although the night does get dark, when
it does, try to remember it's a good sign that the dawn is on its way...
Best Wishes,
Crystal |
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Guest Article: Building the Flames of
Desire (Susan Knox)
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Have you ever thought of starting a project and gotten all excited about it and begun with a real bang only
to find yourself fizzling out half way through and then just not completing it at all?
There have been many times when I have decided that I need to do some additional exercise for my own good and
have started exercising, brought a whole lot of fruit and told all my friends what I am doing and then as time
passed and the excuses came in my diet and exercise would just fade into oblivion. For many of us out there this
is a common problem that we suffer from. The question is, is there a solution that we can believe in and begin
again knowing that we will make it to the finish line.
The answer is of course yes. To have a goal is a wonderful thing. We all need to have dreams and goals but having
a goal is simply only the beginning. A thought process needs to be established before we can carry through with
our plans.
Now if we think of a achieving a goal and liken that to starting a bonfire we have a very good example of just
what we really have to do.
You cannot light a bonfire with a giant piece of wood you often start with kindling. Planning for a goal in
our lives is much the same. Kindling lights easily and very quickly and stays alight long enough to get the bigger
pieces of wood to begin burning.
Applying this to our thoughts, we begin to see that our thoughts need the same help to alight within us.
If we only have a vague thought, and no real plans of just what it is going to take then our fire wont last long.
We will run out of fuel.
To make sure we give ourselves the best start to getting where we want to go we can begin by ask ourselves a
series of questions. This helps pinpoint what you actually want, why you want it and what it means to you. Now
the more specific you are about this the better it is. Many people want to go into their own business or improve
some part of their lives but often they don't know why they want it. When you ask yourself why you want it, you
add a value to your desire. It is no longer a desire or a thought it is more significant and then can be built
on.
Next you have to do some homework. How much time and effort is it going to take and how much do I want to achieve
each week.
Here again your answers begin to add substance to your dream, or fuel to your fire.
In all this you are giving yourself a mental plan to follow. Something concrete and evident that you are able to
fall back on if you need to. Make a note here to keep your thoughts positive. Don't remind yourself that you cant
do something, if you don't have the skills to do something don't say I don't have the skills, say I am going to
learn new skills. Keep your self-talk and your thoughts high up and working for you. Negative thoughts are like
wet wood and are no good for a fire.
So if you keep on reminding yourself of why you are doing this and how you are going to go about doing this and
you will be well on your way to achieving your desires.
The more we think on our goals and how we are going to achieve them, them more we feed ourselves and our commitment
is boosted because we are focused on one thing.
Now also we must remember that fires aren't always easy to start, so we have to persist. Keep on feeding the
thoughts with positive outcomes and strong wants and why and you will find that eventually you have enough of a
fire going that you can act on your thoughts and keep on going.
Next issue: Sustaining the Fire
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