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Sunday, Oct 26 2003
Self-Positivity! ezine
(HTML edition)
Your Self-Esteem ezine from Crystal Woods
http://www.self-positivity.com
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Contents
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I'M BACK!!
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My apologies for the website being offline, but it's finally been sorted. Unfortunately, I had to cave in and renew
with my existing registrar to get it back, because despite their warning notices when it was coming up to expiry
that it would be deleted and immediately available for anyone else that wanted it if I didn't pay up pronto, the
initial 30 days they said they'd keep it on hold stretched to over 45 with no sign it was going to be released
anytime soon, and it turns out that even after deletion it goes to Verisign for ANOTHER 35 days. My intention is
not to cast blame, but more to provide a word of warning to any of the rest of you with domains - if you're going
to transfer, leave at least TWO months before expiry, and double check with your current registrar if they
have locks on their domains that you need to get released before you can move it. (I didn't find this out myself
til 40 days after expiry when I finally got sick of their not answering my email and threatened legal action!)
Naturally, even though I've renewed it doesn't mean I'm staying with those guys. Particularly since I feel like
I was coerced into it, and it was not by choice. I've now set everything up now to transfer across to my favourite
guys at registryweb, and given them all my settings so fingers crossed there will be little or no down time involved.
Then, of course, I intend to renew for at least 5 years so I don't have to go through this nightmare again. You
can imagine - nearly 2 months of not getting email on my primary account, not having access to my site for the
changes I've been looking to make, etc etc. But the good news is, I'm back now, and more motivated than ever to
get things running smoothly! (The 2 weeks holiday coming up will partly be going to that).
In any case, I want to thank you all for your patience, and a special thanks to those that wrote me at my temporary
address to give their support. It was much appreciated...
Crystal |
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Welcome & What's New
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First off, I'd like to thank you for sticking with me through this issue with my site. I fully intend to give something
extra back for you guys in the extra services I'm looking to add to my site (like discussion boards). Look for
the changes by end November.
News: on the home front, not a lot, but I've got 2 weeks holiday coming up in November when I'll be working on,
among other things, some new articles for the site and streamlining the whole design. Hope you continue to stick
with me...
Oh, yes, and I'm getting stuck into working on my health for the rest of this year. I'm walking for 3/4 hour a
couple of mornings a week (working on getting up to 6 days) and revamping my diet to try to make it better - I've
discovered a local organic store that delivers so now that I know where to get fresh stuff I'll be putting a lot
more of it into my diet, and I'll keep you up to date on the results. |
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Article: The Church of Self-Belief
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Although I was christened Catholic, since I was a teen I've had issues with the churches I attended, and the
Church as an institution in general. I'm not alone in that, I know. In particular, the attitude of intolerance,
and the insistence that everyone else has it wrong, and the only spirituality that works is Catholicism, with the
resulting 'duty' to convert others. The mass itself, I feel, is too focussed on dwelling on ourselves as
miserable, unworthy creatures without the grace of God to forgive us, and make us worthy.
That's where I have a real problem. I don't believe that for a minute. In fact, I question the fact that our society
as a whole is so brainwashed by this philosophy that we believe we need to accomplish something extraordinary just
to justify the fact that we exist in the first place! There's the difference between humans and animals
for you. We're so guilt ridden and browbeaten that we can't believe we have inherent value in and of ourselves,
independent of anything we do, say, know or own. We struggle to prove ourselves worthwhile by demonstrating we're
valued by others (ie are paid more), have connections to people who've proved themselves, have accomplished things
ourselves or, failing that, possess more than the next person as a reflection of our success.
When did this start? It's so accepted now, that going shopping to make yourself feel better when you're down isn't
even questioned, it's even jokingly called 'retail therapy'. But could there be any better demonstration that we
place the value we have outside ourselves and into external things like possessions, contacts or money? So much
so, that it's not even acceptable to question it - "it just is."
I don't believe it has to be, or even should be, that way.
We're all here. Why do we all have to be here FOR something - isn't it just enough that we're here? We're all
confusedly searching for a life purpose - the thought may be scary, but what if we are all having trouble
finding it because it isn't there. That we were born as an expression of creation, of life itself, and the rest
is just bonus. If we let go of trying to be someone special, or do something special and just allow ourselves to
be, whatever form that takes, then maybe we can let go of that feeling that we need to be something more than we
are, to satisfy whatever judges we feel or believe are weighing us up.
The harshest judge, of course, is usually ourselves and I'm sure this is true here as well. By letting go of judgement
not only of others (like many suggest) but also of ourselves, how much more can we appreciate the circumstances
we are in, the things we can do, the friends we do have, and the possessions we are already gifted with. They're
no longer stepping stones to justification, but blessings, and in the gratitude for what we have now is the happiness
so many look to achieve by changing the future, and rarely do.
A quote I love, and have hanging on my bathroom wall, reads "Success is getting what you want, happiness is
liking what you get" - I wish I knew who said it, but it's absolutely true. Letting go of expectations for
those around you is a surefire way to eliminate disappointment. Letting go of expectations for yourself is the
key to letting go of the 'struggle' and just enjoying life. With so much training in thinking of ourselves as not
being worthwhile or worthy, it's not an easy thing to accomplish, but being still, in the moment, and grateful,
there's an abundant joy that just can't be described.
Why not give it a try?
Best Wishes
Crystal |
| Special Feature: New Website Discoveries |
Thoughts on why they say it's better to give than to receive...
and no it's not because I want something |
Looking for more checklists, I found an absolute gem of a site - www.chartjungle.com.
Along with www.organizedhome.com I got some excellent stuff
for keeping on top of the household chores (and some good tips on making them easier, too)
Free courses on everything from computer programs to personality development - I found this at www.hplearningcenter.com
Activist heaven - complaints and solutions at www.notgoodenough.org
(linked to Australia's Today Tonight program)
And for a bit of fun, try looking at www.halfbakery.com |
When I hit the 3 month mark in my job, I took action on a decision I had made when I first started, that once my
debts were under control I wanted to donate part of my salary on a regular basis for something worthwhile that
I believed in. I took a while to think through where my money was going to go, and ended up going with a charity
I've been impressed with since I started doing the 40 hr famine as a kid in school - for World Vision. This isn't
a plug for them, or a pat on the back for me, but an explanation of some pretty powerful lessons that have come
to me through that decision.
When I rang up, I was about to be put down to sponsor a 10 month old baby somewhere in Africa, but I decided to
say a bit more clearly what I hoped to achieve, and even though it felt a bit strange - as though I was rejecting
that first child and 'shopping' for another - I told the lady that what I really wanted to do was sponsor an older
girl child. I didn't get to say it, but I was immediately matched up with a girl who had been pulled from school
for lack of funds, in land-locked Ethiopia, and that felt incredibly right to me, so I made all the arrangements.
That girl sent me a letter through her project worker this month, telling me a bit about herself and her life,
and it kicked me into broadening my perspective on just how lucky I have it. I've been grateful and saying thanks
for a whole lot of wonderful things that have happened to me - my job, my relationship, my family; but after reading
this girls letter, it struck me that although we're also a pretty dry country here in Australia, we have it so
much better.
Simple things like having electricity and drinkable water on tap are important, but rarely appreciated, gifts we
have here. I'm totally awestruck at just how much better I have it than Zemach (the girl's name), and at how matter
of fact she is about her own life, how grateful she is for what her own life offers. Let me tell you, I felt a
million dollars when I signed up to give, but having now opened the way to learn about what life is like for Zemach,
that feeling has changed to total humility and a sense of honour that I've been placed where I can make such a
difference to her and her family.
I may be the one paying out in this arrangement, but to be perfectly honest, it's possibly going to be me that
gets the most out of it. Is charity addictive? |
Please feel free to forward this to your friends, or if you'd like permission to reprint any of the articles contact
me directly at articles@self-positivity.com for details.
All the best, hope to catch you next time!
Crystal
http://www.self-positivity.com |
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