1. Open a new file in your PC.

 

2. Name it "Housework."

 

3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN

 

4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN

 

5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want to delete
Housework permanently?"

 

6. Answer calmly, "Yes," and press the mouse button firmly....

 

7. Feel better? . . . .

 

                        (thought so.)

 

------------------------------

 

In Marine Corps basic training, I soon learned that everything we recruits
used belonged to our drill instructor.

 

For instance, she referred to the stuff in our footlockers as "my trash" and
to the racks where we slept as "my racks."

 

One time when when we were all whispering in the bathroom while making "head
calls," our drill instructor must have overheard us.

 

To our surprise, she suddenly yelled,

 

            "Why do I hear voices in my head?"

 

------------------------------

 

"One of our pigs was sick yesterday", Joe was telling his friend Mike.

 

"Gee, what do you do for a sick pig?" came Mike's reply.

 

"Oh, the standard thing; we gave him some sugar." said Joe.

 

"Sugar? Why would you give a pig sugar of all things?" asked Mike.

 

"Gee, haven't you ever heard of sugar-cured ham?"

 

------------------------------

 

A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast
around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not
noticeable at all.

 

On the first day of school, still with the cast under his shirt, he found
himself assigned to the toughest students in school.

 

Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the
window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work.
When a strong breeze made his tie flap, he took the desk stapler
and stapled the tie to his chest. He had no trouble with discipline
that year.

 

------------------------------

 

THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES

 

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, Please come over here and help me. I
have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started.

 

He asks, What is it supposed to be when it's finished?  The blonde says,
according to the picture on the box, it's a tiger.  Her boyfriend decides to
go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she
has the puzzle spread all over the table.

 

He studies the pieces for a moment,  then looks at the box, then turns to
her and says, "First of  all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be
able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."

 

He takes her hand and says,  "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice
cup of tea, and then..." he sighed,...

 

    Let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box.

 

------------------------------