He asks her why they don't eat the almonds themselves, whereupon she
replies that it's not possible because of their false teeth. We're not
able to chew them.

 

"Why do you buy them then?" he asks puzzled, whereupon the old lady
answers:

 

"We just love the chocolate around them!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Murray is a well-educated bachelor who feels ready to marry and settle down.
But he's shy and finds it difficult to meet women. So he's developed a great
love of classical music and spends much of his spare time going to concerts.

 

Meanwhile, Murray's parents have been searching for a suitable shiddach
(arranged marriage partner) for him. Then one day, to their great relief,
two potential candidates come onto the scene at the same time. After talking
to the two young ladies, his father has a word with Murray.

 

"Murray, I think I may have found you a wife. I have been in touch with two
very acceptable, but quite different girls for you to choose from and both
say they are ready to marry. Let me show you their photos."

 

The first photo is of a beautiful woman. "Rebecca," says his father,
"informs me that she has a talent for cooking great kosher food _ her
matzo_ball soup is supposed to be superb. She also keeps fit with

 

aerobics and Israeli dancing. But she left school at 15 and admits to having
no talent whatsoever for music."

 

He then shows Murray a photo of an ugly woman. She has what looks like a
moustache on her top lip, her neck is as thick as a wrestler's neck, she has
cross_eyes, her nose is crooked and her lips are almost non_existent.

 

"Now Sadie," says his father, "might not be great looking but she comes from
a fine, noble family, has a first class degree from Oxford University and
has a wonderful operatic voice. She'll be famous one day _ she showed me a
Poster of a concert she's giving soon at the Royal Opera House, Covent
Garden."

 

Murray studies the two photos. Although Rebecca is gorgeous, his keen love
of music wins him over and he chooses Sadie. Within weeks, they marry.

 

On the first morning of their honeymoon, Murray awakes before Sadie. He
takes one look at that face staring up at him from their pillow, shakes
Sadie and cries out, "Sadie, for goodness sake, sing a little something."

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~30