|
Sand Dollar: Archives Index
|
Subscribe
|
|
| << January06, 2004 - Sand Dollar: A Silent Prayer |
January12, 2004 - Sand Dollar: A Talk With God >> |
|
Good Morning, Doves ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Mother's Love From the moment you lay your eyes on her, she's won your heart. This precious little girl, held so lovingly in your arms, will be all you dream she will be. She will be strong, independent, courageous, hard working, yet gentle, sweet and kind. You know she will be - she is your daughter and you will do everything you can to help her fulfill her dreams and attain her goals. When you glue that tiny ribbon with honey into the one patch of hair on top of her head, you, as her mother, long for days when her hair will dangle to her waist and you can spend hours braiding it, curling it and tying it with a big yellow bow. The first step she takes, you'll be there to catch her when she falls, to stand her back up and say try again. As she starts school, you will make sure she looks her best on the first day, send her off with confidence that she can accomplish every task required of her, make lots of friends and be the teacher's pet. Years pass and this little angel of yours is all you dream she will be. She is your friend and you are hers. The bond you have with her is so strong that nothing in the world can break it. You love her unconditionally - no matter what. She goes off to college to become a doctor, is top of her class, dates the right type of men, and you are happy. Your daughter is happy. Your dreams for her are coming to pass. Her dreams are too. My daughter, Stephanie, is the light of my life. If ever a human being could love another, that is how I loved her. One day my doorbell rang. It was a police officer. He stood at the door and told me my daughter had been stabbed in the stomach and had managed to call 911. The entire police force was out looking for her. The terror I felt, the ache in my heart overwhelmed me. Someone had hurt my daughter! I was soon to find out that it was she who had hurt herself. This was the beginning of the saddest time of my life. My daughter, my sweet, sweet girl, was mentally ill. The doctors said it doesn't usually come out until they are 17 - 25 years old. Stephanie was 19. They said she' d been neglected, abused. I assured them she had not. Over the next five years things got worse and worse. She started slashing herself with glass, self-inducing asthma attacks, faked seizures and told lies. The doctor told me she had something called Munchausen's syndrome, where the person hurts themself or feigns illnesses to get attention. People with the syndrome are usually pathological liars, and can't hold jobs. They begin to wander from place to place and eventually end up in trouble with the law. My Stephanie fit every one of the symptoms. My daughter is mentally ill. How did my daughter, who is so sweet and who wouldn't hurt a fly, get something this horrifying, this hopeless? All the dreams I had for her, all her dreams, everything she'd worked for her entire life ended. How does a mother cope with such a thing? I didn't cope well. I cried a lot, became depressed, and worried so much that I made myself ill. I couldn't sleep, I felt confused, wondering how this happened. One day, during the depths of my despair, a friend sent me an email. She told me that God doesn't give us any trials that we cannot handle. He is there for us, He loves us, and He will watch out for my daughter. She offered to pray for Stephanie. That night I got down on my hands and knees and prayed to God for strength and for comfort. The next day emails started coming in from others. They told me stories of how their children had disappeared at age 17 and how they'd never heard from them again. These children were raised in loving homes by loving parents, as was Stephanie. How could this happen to them? Another friend's sixteen-year-old son disappeared one day. She hasn't heard from him for thirteen years she has no idea where he is or if he is dead or alive. At least Stephanie called me now and then. I knew she was homeless, sleeping on the streets, lying, cheating and stealing from others, but at least I knew she was alive. The worry was still there and when the phone rings, I fear it will be 'the' phone call telling me she is dead, but today, this moment, I know she is alive. We live in a world of sadness and un-surety. We have our children, we love them, and yet there is no guarantee that something won't happen. Some strange mental illness might attack them and take them from us. Though this is a very difficult story for me to write, I wanted to share it with others because I know there are hundreds, thousands, tens of thousands of mothers out there who are worrying about their children right now, whether they have vanished or have some sort of mental illness, like Stephanie's. The only choice I had was to turn this over to God. I ask him daily and nightly to please watch over my daughter. I beg him to lead her somewhere that she might get some help. I plead with him to not let anyone hurt her and the hardest part is that I have to have faith that HE will. I have to believe that God is watching out for her and that this will turn out good in the end. My friends, we need each other. We need the Lord. By sharing our trials we can receive blessings from others who share their trials in return. I may not see my daughter have the sort of life I dreamed, I may not see her again for years, but I know she is in God's hands and that God sends us into each other's lives when we need it. I need you and if I can be of help to any of you, please email me. I'll listen. Together we can cry and together we can give each other the strength we need to go on, to endure to the end, to find peace and joy in our lives despite the heartache we feel over the loss of our children. Thank you. ?© 2003 Margo Fallis MargoFallis@Yahoo.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If you like Sand Dollar, please recommend it to your friends and help us grow. ~~~~~Important Information~~~~~ Subscribe from our web site at www.ripplemaker.com To cancel your subscription, send a message to: Bob@ripplemaker.com with "Cancel Sand Dollar" in the subject To contribute a story for Sand Dollar, send it to: Bob@Ripplemaker.com Visit our Web Site at www.ripplemaker.com If you encounter a problem, please send e-mail to me at Starfish@ Ripplemaker.com ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Some of our Ripplemaker friends: http://www.2theheart.com - Out sister site - onderful stories, art, and poetry. |
|
| << January06, 2004 - Sand Dollar: A Silent Prayer |
January12, 2004 - Sand Dollar: A Talk With God >> |
|
Sand Dollar: Archives Index
|
Subscribe
|
|
|
Archives powered by Zinester's Mailing List Service
Details on Sand Dollar: |
Browse for more newsletters at Zinester's Ezine Directory
Managed by Zinester's Mailing List Management |