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Sitting at my computer, I pondered how to answer a letter
from a bitter man; bitter because he refused to let go of an
attitude that was robbing him of the joy of living.
Wronged by a member of his family many years earlier, this
angry writer had composed a blistering letter to the
relative he felt had contributed to a family breakup from
which he had never recovered. Now he had sent a copy of this
letter for me to read before mailing it to his supposed
enemy.
He wrote well.
But the content of his letter revealed the identity of
his real enemy: himself. He refused to forgive the one he
blamed for his problems and this had been perpetuating his
misery for years. In spite of efforts I had made in the past
to help this bitter man break free from anger, he had kept
coddling his contentiousness and as a result his emotional
wounds refused to heal.
Millions, like my cold correspondent, move through life
shackled to their sulking because they are unwilling to
forgive.
How can we forgive those who’ve wronged us deeply?
Here’s a more difficult question to answer: How can we
keep on forgiving when the offense is repeated again and
again?
Peter once came to Jesus and asked how many times he
should forgive one who had offended him. Seven times seemed
sufficient to Peter, but his Lord told him to multiply that
number by seventy, calling for His questioning disciple to
forgive 490 times. Actually, Peter was being taught to just
keep on forgiving. One who has forgiven 490 times has
developed a healthy habit of living in a forgiving way.
Following this challenging lesson on forgiveness, Peter
was told about a king who discovered one of his trusted
servants had borrowed heavily from the royal coffers and
owed him a large amount of money. Since the servant couldn’t
pay what he owed, the king ordered that his family be sold
into slavery and the money applied to his huge outstanding
debt. Later, however, the king had a change of heart and
forgave the servant, canceling his entire obligation.
Upon being forgiven, the ungrateful servant found one of
his friends who owed him a small amount of money (about
fifteen dollars) and threatened to have him thrown into
prison if he didn’t pay up immediately (Matthew 18:23-25).
This parable teaches the first principle of forgiveness:
we must forgive because we have been forgiven. But another
important dimension to the lesson is added: we have never
been wronged to the extent that we have wronged God. Since
He offers to forgive us, we are obligated to do the same for
others.
"I can never forgive her," said an angry man, after his
wife had disappointed him.
"No, you can’t," I replied, "unless you are willing to
forgive as you have been forgiven."
A free flow of forgiveness would revive most churches and
revitalize many marriages.
Barriers erected long ago would fall. Warm embraces would
replace cold stares.
Nursing an old wound grieves God and barricades His
blessings.
Let it go!
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