The morning worship service had just ended and in the pastor’s absence I stood shaking hands and talking to people as they headed out the church door. I was no stranger to this congregation, having filled this role there before.

Finally only two of the long line of exiting people remained; a husband and wife who had patiently tarried until the others had departed in order to have a brief private conversation with me: one I’ll never forget.

"When you were here five years ago, you urged us to forgive everyone who had ever wronged us," said the woman, "and this morning I have done so."

It was a bittersweet moment.

While I was pleased that this woman had finally forgiven her former adversary, I was sorry to learn she had wasted five potentially wonderful years. There had undoubtedly been times when normal happy occasions had been affected by her anger over what she saw as unforgivable treatment by one she dreaded to see, even in church.

The tragedy of not being willing to forgive is the number of losers it produces. You lose, because as you harbor that grudge it keeps doing its destructive work within you, preventing peace of mind and taking away the joy of living. The object of your bitterness loses the benefit of your love and your church loses the warmth and power that characterize a congregation in which forgiveness flows freely.

Admittedly, some wrongs are more difficult to forgive than others.

In her award winning newspaper article, "FORGIVENESS IS THE KEY TO UNLOCKING HATRED," Jan White of The Andalusia Star-News (Andalusia,

Alabama) focuses on the unforgettable tragedy in rural Pennsylvania when a gunman walked into a one-room Amish schoolhouse and killed five schoolgirls. She says one Amish woman’s commentary on their response to the unthinkable was: "We can tell other people about Christ, and actually show you in our walk that we can forgive; not just say it, but in our walk of life. You know you have to live it, you can’t just say it."

White also quotes psychologist Archibald Hart saying, "Forgiveness is surrendering my right to hurt you for hurting me." Then adds the following observation of C.S. Lewis:

"Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive."

Dr. Sam Smith is a Doctor of Chiropractic in Jacksonville, Texas and a columnist for the Jacksonville Daily Express. In 1988 his 16 year old daughter, Stacey, died from injuries sustained in an accident caused by a driver who fled the scene. Later, Dr. Smith wrote the following in his column titled, "IT IS TIME TO FORGIVE:"

"If by any chance the person who was driving that truck that September day in 1988 should read this article, please accept the forgiveness I am offering. I know it was an accident and from the deepest part of my soul I pray for you to feel forgiveness and peace"

Where can we find strength to forgive the things that seem unforgivable?

We can receive it by faith from the One who looked down from a cross on a mocking crowd that had called for His crucifixion and prayed for the forgiveness of them all.