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I don’t know what to
make of the mixed messages of mid-February.
On the one hand we have
Valentine’s Day, a celebration of love and
romance, laden with greeting cards, candy, flowers
and the image of a naked little cherub shooting
arrows into the backsides of reluctant suitors and
suitees. On the other hand we have Presidents
Day, during which we celebrate the accomplishments
of past presidents of the United States by taking
a day off of work and school and going to
furniture sales.
So if I understand this
correctly, love – by all accounts, the greatest
thing in the world – wins the merchandising battle
but isn’t worthy of full-time, take-the-day-off
holiday status. And Presidents Day, which is sort
of a contemporary morphing of previous
observations of Abraham Lincoln’s and George
Washington’s birthdays (Feb. 12 and 22,
respectively) with every other president from John
Adams to Bush II, gets the day off and the
always-interesting-if-not-inspiring prospect of a
well-priced wingback.
If I was in charge (and
we can all be thankful that I’m not, can’t we?),
I’d do things a little differently. I’d go back
to the days when Lincoln and Washington each had
their own day in February, and let the other
presidents fight it out for their own
recognition. If a good case can be made for an
annual Chester A. Arthur Day or a John Tyler Whig
Festival, I say go for it.
But I’d shift the
holiday vacation day to Valentine’s Day. I’d even
be OK if it was considered one of those roaming
Monday holidays, like Labor Day and Memorial Day.
There’s nothing sacred about Feb. 14th.
But Valentine’s Day IS sacred, in my view, and
deserves a full day off for contemplation about
the meaning of love, reflection about the joyful
impact of love in our lives and, of course,
last-minute shopping.
And last-minute shopping
is what Valentine’s Day is all about. It is the
perfect holiday for men, because . . . well, you
don’t want to buy chocolate too early and just let
it sit in your basement and get old and moldy, do
you? That would be gross (never mind that the
chocolate you buy on Feb. 14th has
probably been sitting in a warehouse somewhere
since Halloween). And flowers have to be fresh to
be good, right? So you can’t buy them too early,
either, because giving your sweetheart wilted
flowers is considered bad form. Valentine’s Day is
the one gift-buying holiday where procrastination
is not only acceptable, it is actually the right
thing to do.
Which is why a vacation
holiday would be appropriate for Valentine’s
Day. We could start a new tradition, with candy
shops and florists opening early on Valentine’s
Day (OK, so they wouldn’t get the day off – sorry
about that), and everyone lining up to run out and
buy fresh candy and flowers. It would be like the
running of the bulls in Spain – only without the
bulls. Or . . . you know . . . Spain. Everyone
would be running and dashing and buying, sort of
like the Friday after Thanksgiving. Only this
time there would be instant gratification: you get
to give your gifts that night instead of hiding
them in the attic for a month. And everybody’s
happy!
Especially the candy
makers and florists – the lack of a vacation day
notwithstanding.
Of course, there’s
another option. What if we just merge all of the
February holidays into one big mid-month
celebration? I mean, I know that love and politics
can make for strange bedfellows – especially
during an election year – but there just might be
a way to do this. Sort of a Valentine Presidents
Day, during which we can write a love letter to
our favorite former president. Or a Presidents
Valentine’s Day, during which we pay special
tribute to former First Ladies – or White House
interns, as the case may be.
Or we can really make
things interesting by throwing a groundhog into
the equation. Love, politics and hairy, overgrown
rodents. Now, THAT would be an interesting
holiday
Not to mention, an even
more mixed up mixed message for mid-February.
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Joseph Walker |
