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Recently, I was asked to hold the funeral of a close friend
and 83-year-old colleague, Glenn. The end of a life is
always a sobering thing, but in Glenn's case, it was a
privilege to bury him. As we sang the old spiritual "There
is a Balm in Gilead," his widow, Marlys, bent over his open
casket, took his hands in hers, and kissed him goodbye. Six
hundred people were in the room, and there was not a dry
eye. But it was not just because we were watching a
farewell. Here was a couple who had promised to remain true
to each other through joys and sorrow, "until death parts
you." And because of this faithfulness, their marriage had
lasted more than half a century.
A marriage like Glenn and Marlys's is a rare thing in our
time, when most people seem to fear the very idea of
commitment. As a culture, we are obsessed with romance and
sex, and focus on them almost endlessly. Sex permeates
entertainment, sports, and even politics. For Christians and
non-Christians alike, it has taken the place of God.
All the more it was encouraging to read, the week before
Valentine's Day, about a "Day of Purity," on which students
across the country planned to wear white T-shirts to school
in order to promote the idea of saving sex for marriage. As
Melissa, a 17-year-old who took part in the event,
explained, "The way sex is talked about, it's so
casual...it's like going to McDonald's." Critics said the
teens were "self-righteous" and accused the organizers of
having a "bigoted agenda." Others, like my community, the
Bruderhof, applaud the teens for their courage, and feel
that such a movement needs every bit of support that it can
get.
Sex as God created it is the foundation of human society. It
has been, ever since he created Adam and Eve, blessed them,
and told them to be fruitful and multiply. Sex is also God's
greatest gift to us. More than a mere mechanical act, it
encompasses the entire person physically, emotionally, and
spiritually. In sex alone, soul and body become truly one.
Entered with reverence, it is the highest and deepest
expression of love, and can transform a person on every
level. No wonder Jesus said, "For this reason a man will
leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and
the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two,
but one."
Unfortunately, very few people are able to see sex in such a
deep and wonderful way, because we have turned away from
God's plan for it. This turning away began in Eden, with
Adam and Eve's disobedience, which polluted their innocence
and made them ashamed of their nakedness. Its fruits are
guilt, lust, violence, pride and greed, and every other evil
that plagues humankind today.
The serpent of rebellion is still whispering today, trying
to convince people that God's word is not true. Just as Adam
and Eve, they try to find freedom and happiness on their own
terms, especially in the sexual sphere. But as sincere as
many of these people are in looking for happiness that they
deserve, they will never find it, because they are going
against God's order.
Meanwhile, sex becomes more and more degraded and cheap, as
shown by new headlines every week: Paris Hilton's video,
Janet Jackson's stunt at the Super Bowl, Beyonce's copycat
act a few weeks later, and continual rumors about Kerry and
other presidential candidates. People pretend to be shocked
by these things, but our children see right through it. In
the end they get the message that sex is a joke: you can
always have your fun and get away with what you want.
If only we grasped how such a twisted view can traumatize a
soul for a lifetime. It leads to broken relationships,
crime, emotional instability, and even suicide. How
different our world would be if we saw that every man and
woman is created in the image of God. Then we would have
reverence for each person's sexual being, and see it as a
mystery that only a marriage partner should unlock. Like
Moses, who took off his sandals before the burning bush, we
would instinctively know: this is holy ground.
We are all weak human beings, and we all disobey God. But it
is never too late for us to turn around. Once we do, we can
put sex back in its proper place--marriage--and perhaps
restore some sanity to our crazed and corrupt culture. Deep
down it is this that every person longs for, even if
millions have been misled and are confused: the beauty and
stability of God's original order, and the peace of heart
and mind that comes from embracing it.
On Valentine's Day, a young couple I know named David and
Alissa celebrated their wedding. David is 26 and has a
life-threatening heart condition that grew suddenly worse
during their engagement. Dave is scheduled for open-heart
surgery in a few weeks, and between now and then, anything
could happen.
Given such an uncertain future, many people might break off
a relationship. But this young couple saw their situation as
a call to greater love and faithfulness, and decided to
commit themselves to each other "until death parts."
A day before their wedding I spoke to David and Alissa and
reminded them that only God knows how long they will have
each other. One day, whether soon or in years, it will be
their turn to say goodbye to one another as Marlys did to
Glenn. But it does not matter, I told them, whether their
marriage is long or short-if David lives for another week,
or another fifty years. What does matter is their commitment
to each other, and the fact that they have made it before
God, and for eternity. In his eyes, a day is like a thousand
years, and if that day is lived for God, who knows how much
can be achieved?
We need to appreciate people like David and Alissa, Glenn
and Marlys, and the teens who organized a "Day of Purity."
We need to thank God for their example with respect to sex
and marriage, and let our own lives reflect the same
commitment and faithfulness. Most important, we need to
believe that others are looking for these things too, and
that, with enough courage and conviction, we can start a
revolution.
<a href="http://www.ChristophArnold.com">Johann Christoph
Arnold</a> is the author of ten books and pastor at the <a
href="http://www.woodcrestbruderhof.com">Woodcrest Bruderhof</a>.
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To read archived stories, click on this link:
http://archives.zinester.com/9516/2004
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Blessings to you today
Bob Johnston
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