I tendered my resignation in an office whose desk I mastered for 15 years.  Credit cards, gasoline station reports, credit cards, and gasoline station reports danced in my head.  Gas prices ricocheting up and down; unsigned credit cards that couldn??™t be collected or regained; finally saut?©ed my spirit and soul.  The time was here.  The time had come for me to attempt a new path.

In this small place of business, it didn??™t take long for word to circle around the work area that I was leaving.  A co-worker who combed curly hair of gray and who would be loved by all as their grandmother stepped up to the plate and asked for my job.  She needed additional hours of work to cover some unexpected bills she had accumulated since her husband??™s death.  She was given the job.

We had four weeks to work together.  I knew she would be a challenge.  She didn??™t like computers, and she made that fact well-known.  Even the walls knew her dislike and loathing for the technology world.

That first Monday morning in her presence, I started to ask for God??™s help. But I just couldn??™t bring myself to bow my head and pray.  She was not a believer, and it was easy to fold to that awareness.  Her apprehension grew as noon ravaged the morning.  I had written elementary notes and instructions, and as I showed her my daily tasks, I would go to my notes and let her compare the actual work with the paper documentation.  I could feel her tension build like thunder clouds covering the sky before a violent storm.

Wednesday morning she called in sick.  ???I did not sleep last night fretting over this job.??? she told me.  ???I think I made a mistake moving from my old desk to yours.???  When I tried to soothe her battered state of mind she became enraged, and she hung up on me.

Thursday, I invited her for lunch.  In silence we punched our time cards.  The meal was as cold as the company.  We accomplished nothing.

Friday night, I was exhausted.  ???It??™ll be fine,??? my husband said as he tucked me into bed way before even tots are chaperoned to dream-land.  He sat down beside me, and them he bowed his head and prayed, ???Oh Heavenly Father, be with Carol and her trainee.  Carol wants to leave her job, and she wants to learn it.  Make it go smooth.???  I had to believe it would work.  Knowing I should have gone this route bred sadness in me that he saw the need long before I did.  I gave into her way, not the way I knew would solve or help my problems.  It bathed the reason I married him.

The second Monday morning mellowed the stress and strain of the first week; the smog and atmosphere of my desk area was fresh again.  She??™ll do better, I thought, and when we left at the end of the day, I felt good--sort of!

Tuesday found us back in the first week??™s foul.  ???I did not sleep last night.  This is all Greek to me,??? she yelled.  ???I don??™t understand anything you??™ve tried to teach me.??? She fell into her chair and cradled her head in her hands.

I was shocked, furious, and embarrassed all at the same time.  But I kept my feelings tucked inside the tip of my tongue.  By Friday, she had to go to the doctor, and she left early.

???What is wrong with her???? asked the office manager as he walked up to my desk, his hands on his hips.

???She hates computers, and some parts of my job are modeled after them,??? I answered.  ???She thought this would be easy, but it is not.???

  ???Well, she asked for your spot.  Let??™s give her another week,??? he said.  He rolled his eyes up in his head, and then he turned and walked away.

Over the week-end, I remembered her continual grumbles of hard times since her husband??™s passing.  I had so much sympathy for her then.  I had to regain those feelings of compassion.  My time was coming.  I could be in her shoes someday.  I opened my Bible.  I started in Psalms.  They are good for a weary heart, and my heart was weary.  Then my devotion took me to Lamentations 3:21-24.  Verses 22 and 23 state, ???It is of the Lord??™s mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not.  They are new every morning.???

The third Monday morning found me thankful my husband??™s ears were the only ones that had heard my moaning and groaning.  The two weeks that followed were difficult and testy, but when I irritate or disappoint my Lord and Master, His compassion pillows me in mercy, in love, and in clemency.  I owed her that.  She left the job in less than a year.

?© 2004 Carol Dee Meeks