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A longtime friend called to tell me that his wife
had departed for heaven and in the course of our
conversation paid her the ultimate compliment: ???I
never heard her say anything bad about anyone.???
I wasn??™t surprised.? Cutting
down others would have been out of character for
this quiet, compassionate woman and the compliment
from her grieving husband only verbalized what
many had known all along.
A member of a church in our
area voiced the ultimate compliment concerning a
former pastor who had retired.? ???I have known
Pastor Jones for twenty-eight years,??? he said,
???and not once during that time did I hear him say
anything bad about anyone.???? I was so impressed by
this testimonial to the character of the former
pastor that at his funeral I passed along these
good words to his wife.
???It??™s true,??? she replied.?
???Sometimes our daughters and I tried to trick him
into criticizing someone, but we never succeeded.???
? As a pastor, I quickly saw
the value of remaining silent when someone began
to focus on the faults of others.? Knowing that
even one word of seeming agreement might cause me
to be quoted wrongly about the charges being made,
I determined in these cases to keep silent or
tactfully maneuver the conversation to another
subject.?
Such tongue control doesn??™t
come easily, especially if the complaints about
the person in question are likely to be true.? I
found great help to keep silent in the prayer of
David for God to place a sentinel at his mouth to
guard his lips lest he say things he would later
regret: ???Set a watch, O Lord,
before my mouth, to keep the door of my lips???
? (Psalm 141:3).?
The thought that God could
dispatch a guard to keep me from speaking
carelessly was just what I needed to remain silent
when it would have been easier to express some
negative opinion.? I am confident these times of
silence delivered me from trouble that could have
been caused by some criticism I might have made in
a moment of weakness or discouragement.
How do we achieve such word
control?
What we say is the result of
what we think so I suggest starting every day
focusing on things that are true, honest, just,
pure, lovely and of good report (Philippians
4:8).? Criticism and fault finding refuse to grow
in this kind of soil.?
Words that may cause strife
are best left unsaid and have an unholy source.?
On the other hand, words that bring peace are from
the Lord: ???But the wisdom that is from above is
first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be
entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without
partiality, and without hypocrisy.? And the fruit
of righteousness is sown in peace of them that
make peace??? (James 3: 17-18).
We who are of World War II
vintage remember the slogan ???Loose lips sink
ships.???
There was too much at stake
then to risk lives by speaking carelessly.? And
the same is true today.? Careless, critical,
cutting words destroy lives, homes and churches so
let??™s speak responsibly; becoming known for
building up...not tearing down.
Someday we??™ll give an account
of what we??™ve said.
Let??™s live expecting to hear
???Well done,??? the ultimate compliment.
( c) 2005 by? Roger Campbell |
