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Her young grandsons stood
around - sometimes fidgeting as if not quite sure what they were suppose
to do be doing, other times they took turns sitting next to their mom on
the small but comfortable couch.
Her husband, Al, stood
close by, just a few feet away from the shiny teal blue casket that now
held his beloved wife of 52 years.
The extra tight hugs, the
occasional flow of tears, as visitors paid their last respects
and extended their condolences to a bereaved husband, were a sobering
reminder of why family, friends and neighbors were gathered there.
Technically, Al and Mary
Keffer were not really my husband Bill's aunt and uncle.
Al was my mother-in-law's
cousin. But that made no difference. For as long as I've known Bill, they
have been Aunt Mary and Uncle Al to us.
Aunt Mary's passing took us
all by surprise. Like most busy families we sometimes lost track of each
other on a day-to-day basis. We'd enjoy each others company at weddings
and other family get-togethers. Sometimes we'd run into Uncle Al at the
park where we'd end up doing more talking than walking, which was always a
pleasant opportunity to catch up on family news.
The diagnosis of end stage
lung cancer and the brief, but futile, battle that followed is the reason
we were brought together to say good bye to the matriarch of the Keffer
clan.
A lifetime of photos
decorated tables and stood on easels, each one recalling happier days -
family milestones that make up the moments worth celebrating,
Aunt Mary and Uncle Al were
married for 52 years. Now, a marriage that can endure that many decades
is bound to have weathered a storm or two. But if the clouds ever rained
on their bliss they didn't linger for long. Throughout all those years
you never saw one without the other. They were always a team, through
thick and thin - through sunshine or rain. I thought of this as I watched
Uncle Al, suddenly solo.
The older I get; the more
wakes I attend, I am reminded that no matter what your relationship to
someone, when they are gone the recollections of good times come rushing
back - the years adding up to a mountain of happy memories, remembered as
if they happened yesterday.
When Bill and I tied the
knot, over 30 years ago, it was Aunt Mary and Uncle Al who added some
special touches to our small and simple ceremony and reception.
They took turns playing
photographer- taking all the wedding photos. They also supplied us with
printed wedding announcements.
I recently came across the
remnants of a yellowed and tattered napkin from our wedding day. Outlined
in silver is a silhouette of a bride and groom, just below it our new
married name and special date etched out in fancy lettering, also a
special keepsake from a thoughtful aunt and uncle.
The kind acts and good
deeds of others is what you remember long after their presence is gone.
Time stops for no one.
Sooner or later we will all pass this way to our eternal home.
If there is one meaningful
message to take with us, from each good bye, it is perhaps simply this: If
you live your life rich in purpose and filled with kindness it will be
worth remembering.
A kind and generous woman,
Mary Keffer, lived a life worth remembering.
Bio~
Kathy Whirity is a
newspaper columnist who shares her sentimental musings on family life. As
recent empty nesters Kathy and her husband, Bill, are discovering, with
sweet surprise, that the honeymoon isn't over, it's only just begun-again.
You may reach Kathy by
e-mail~
kathywhirity@yahoo.com
Please visit her web site~
www.kathywhirity.com |
