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Saturday, February 7, 2003? ?
Make a Ripple - Make a Difference
Greetings, Ripplemakers
The Ring of Love
by
Ginger Boda
Thirty-three years have passed and I've experienced much heartache since that day.? However, many wonderful moments have been mine as well - like the afternoon I walked down the aisle, arm-in-arm with my big brother, to wed my high school sweetheart, Mark.? This was the day when all I had learned about love would come full circle.
My dad wasn't able to give his youngest daughter away, since cancer had claimed his life just three years earlier, so Tom, six years my senior, honored me that day.
It was essential, of course, that I have "something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue" on my wedding day.? I wore the traditional new white dress and a garter of blue.? Finally, a thin gold band, my brother had given to me six years before, fit gracefully on my left ring finger.? It was my "something borrowed" and "something old." It was my mother's wedding band.
Coming from a farm in Minnesota to the fast life of California with their three children, Mom and Dad had often struggled, but she never complained.? Soon a fourth child was born to the household.
Being the baby was a great position to occupy-especially since I came so much later than the other three.? I didn't have to share.? On top of it all, I was a tomboy, so my mother had her work cut out for her.?
Like so many kids, I was caught up in my own plans and thoughts, and took it for granted that Mom would always be there for me.? She sang goofy songs, made homemade cakes, sewed doll clothes and cuddled often.? She was the warmth at the end of a cold day.? It was impossible for me to ever lie to her, and I would find myself telling Mom everything on my heart.? She was an amazing listener and my role model.
My father, although he drank daily, loved my mother immensely.? Every Friday night, I watched him come home from work with groceries and a bouquet of yellow mums.? Mom's face would light up, as if it was the first time. " Oh Teddy, they're beautiful," she'd say."?
My mom had never applied for a driver's license, so she rarely left the house.? Dad would make his daily trip to the local market, returning with just enough for supper that night.? Sometimes he would get sidetracked, finding himself sitting on a stool at the local bar near the market.? Mom knew. I guess I did too.? However, in those days we never spoke about it.? She was committed to her husband and her family - no matter what.
From the time I was thirteen years old, my Mom struggled with her health.? One day, she finally told me that she had been diagnosed with congestive heart failure.? Always in and out of hospitals, she fought the disease the best she could.? Mom worsened over the next three years, shriveling to half her size.? Nevertheless, her warm smile was as big as ever.
It was April 21, 1970, my father's birthday.? A message received at my school office explained that there was a family emergency.? Someone was coming to take me home.? No! I screamed silently, as my heart sank.
At the hospital, I held my mom's hand, while she lay comatose.? I begged her not to leave me.? I still needed her.? Dad needed her.? The fear of loneliness took hold of my heart, as my mind could not fathom life without her.? Sobbing profusely, I told her over, and over again how much I loved her.? Overcome with anxiety, I found myself fiddling with her tiny wedding band.? With each rotation, I noticed how loosely it seemed hang on her finger since she'd been sick.
My throat was thick with emotion as I thought of the thin golden symbol that represented the deep love and commitment she and my father had for one another. He had purchased it for only ten dollars over 27 years earlier, as their lives became one.? Now, Mom lay there, motionless, connected only to tubes and equipment.? Suddenly, to my amazement, I felt her left hand squeeze my own, as if to tell me that she loved me and to urge me to remember what matters most in life.? I knew she was saying goodbye.?
Later that evening, the phone rang.? Dad answered, and after a long moment, tears welled in his eyes as he muttered weakly, "Oh, no ??¦ my Evey, no."
The rest of the night is a blur, except for the coldness of the air stinging my tear-stained face as I ran down the street screaming, "Mom, I need you Mom, come back!"
I was sixteen years old, and I felt lost.?
? At the memorial service, my brother, Tom, walked over to me and placed the ring of gold in my hand.? He said nothing, but his eyes spoke volumes.
? The days following the funeral were the hardest days of my life.? Caring for my father, maintaining our home and focusing on school were all so difficult.? Dad seemed lost too.? He missed his bride.? He drank more.? We both just did the best we could.? I fiddled with the tiny gold band every day, rotating it repeatedly, reminding myself of the thing that matters most - to love and be loved.
? My father and I moved from my childhood home to start a new life.? Soon Dad began his own battle with cancer.? I was there holding his hand when he finally lost that fight.? I will never forget the moment he fumbled for my ring finger and, holding fast to that tiny wedding band, he breathed his last breath; as if saying to my mom, "I promised till death do us part, but I meant forever and a day."
? My father died on their wedding anniversary.
? That small ring of love has graced my finger for thirty-three years.? It appears overshadowed beneath the beautiful diamond ring given to me by Mark, my high school sweetheart, twenty-seven years ago.? Yet, like its message from my past, it shines clear and bright - Love endures all things.? Love never fails.?
? Mom and Dad were not with me physically on my wedding day; nor did they witness the births of their grandchildren, and that saddens me.? However, they left me a priceless gift, expressed through a ten-dollar band of gold.? ?
That? circle of love lives on forever.
Ginger Boda ?©? 2003-
Rhymerbabe @ aol.com
http://www.daily-blessings.com/bless392.htm
Ginger is an award winning author for Starfish, and contributor to various online publications, such as Heartwarmers, Write2theheart, Insight of the day, 2theheart, Storytime_Tapestry, HeartTouchers and Emerging Courageous.? This story is? featured in? Chicken Soup For The Bride's Soul, which was released in January 2004.? ? Ginger weaves faith, tradition and humor into her stories and poetry, as she strives to lift the spirit and cheer the heart.? She has penned her thoughts since childhood, writing mostly for her loved ones, until last year when she began to share her works with the public.? She is eternally grateful for all the encouragement and friendship she has encountered on her journey.? Ginger resides in Southern California with her husband, Mark? and three grown children, Jason 25, Danny
22, and Alisha 20.?
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May you be blessed today
Bob Johnston
Editor / Publisher
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